Some Werewolf Gene AU Stuff for the Holiday but It's Mostly Stuff I Thought was Funny on an Empty Stomach
Note: This is pre-Ford returning
Fidds: *Accidentally Cuts His Finger While Welding* AGH! FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW!
Stan: *Immediately Beginning to Undress* I mean, if that's what ya really want.
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Mabel: Grunkle Stan! Can me and Dipper go get a turkey with Soos?
Stan: Kids, you know the rule about going into town.
Dipper: But you and Grunkle Fidds go into town almost every day!
Stan: Yeah, at night. And even then we try to stay hidden.
Soos: Mr. Dad-
Stan: Not your dad.
Soos: Mr. Pines, would you feel better if they, like, wear hoodies so their ears are covered? They could wear long shirts to hide their tails.
Stan: *Glares at Soos for a Second* The instant my ears pick up any type of screaming, I'm gonna look for and ground all three of you.
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Fidds, while basting the turkey: Stanley, honey, could ya do me a favor and check on the pies?
Stan: Sure, I got nothin' better to do. *Walks up to the Oven and Opens the Oven Door*
Soos, entering the shack without warning: Do I smell apple pie?
Stan: Soos? What are you doing here?
Mabel, happily: Soos is here?!
Dipper: Is he staying for Thanksgiving dinner?
Stan: Kids, Thanksgiving is a family holiday, remember?
Fidds: I dunno, Oats, we've known Soos since he was a youngin'. Don'tcha think that makes him one of us?
Stan: *Groans Before Closing the Oven* Fine, but you don't count as a kid. Only the pups get to break the wishbone.
Soos: Ooh, I can't wait to see who wins!
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Mabel: *Frowns at the Potato Salad on Her Plate* Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Fidds, I don't like potato salad.
Stan: What? Since when?
Mabel: Since always! The ingredients don't go good together for me.
Dipper: I'll eat it.
Stan: No, you won't. Pumpkin, eat the potato salad or no pie.
Fidds: Oats, don't be grumpy. She don't have t' eat somethin' she don't like. 'sides, Dipper offered t' eat it, so it won't be wasted!
Soos: Yeah, Mr. Dad-
Stan: Not your dad.
Soos: Yeah, Mr. Pines! I know my grandma doesn't like it when I don't eat food because it ends up getting tossed out, and that's something we really can't afford. But at least someone's offering to eat it for Mabel.
Everyone Else: *Silently Take in Soos' Statement*
Stan: Alright, fine. Give Dipper the stuff.
Mabel: Can I still get pie?
Fidds: Of course, darlin'.
Mabel: WHOO!
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Mabel: I'm thankful for my family.
Dipper: I'm thankful for our shack.
Fidds, hugging Stan: I'm thankful for my darlin' sweetheart.
Stan, blushing: Yeah, ditto I guess.
Soos: I'm thankful that we didn't miss the Peanuts Thanksgiving Special!
Everyone Else: *Enthusiastic Agreement*