#humorous verse

[catliketread]

– The Folio Book of Humorous Verse, 2002 (illustration by Posy Simmonds)

[thefugitivesaint]

Edward Lear (1812-1888), ''Book of Nonsense'', 1875 Source In edition, here’s a link to a brief piece on Edward Lear from The Paris Review.  

[geritsel]

Alfred Z. Baker - spreads from The Torn Book

[plurdledgabbleblotchits]

More About People - by Ogden Nash

When people aren't asking questions They're making suggestions And when they're not doing one of those They're either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes And then as if that weren't enough to annoy you They employ you. Anybody at leisure Incurs everybody's displeasure. It seems to be very irking To people at work to see other people not working, So they tell you that work is wonderful medicine, Just look at Firestone and Ford and Edison, And they lecture you till they're out of breath or something And then if you don't succumb they starve you to death or something. All of which results in a nasty quirk: That if you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

[plurdledgabbleblotchits]

Common Cold - Poem by Ogden Nash

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.! You shall not sneer at me. Pick up your hat and stethoscope, Go wash your mouth with laundry soap; I contemplate a joy exquisite I'm not paying you for your visit. I did not call you to be told My malady is a common cold. By pounding brow and swollen lip; By fever's hot and scaly grip; By those two red redundant eyes That weep like woeful April skies; By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff; By handkerchief after handkerchief; This cold you wave away as naught Is the damnedest cold man ever caught! Give ear, you scientific fossil! Here is the genuine Cold Colossal; The Cold of which researchers dream, The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme. This honored system humbly holds The Super-cold to end all colds; The Cold Crusading for Democracy; The Führer of the Streptococcracy. Bacilli swarm within my portals Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals, But bred by scientists wise and hoary In some Olympic laboratory; Bacteria as large as mice, With feet of fire and heads of ice Who never interrupt for slumber Their stamping elephantine rumba. A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth! Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth; Don Juan was a budding gallant, And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent; The Arctic winter is fairly coolish, And your diagnosis is fairly foolish. Oh what a derision history holds For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

Ogden Nash

[batgovernor]

Poems on poems: Ogden Nash, 'The Collector'

I met a traveler from an antique show, His pockets empty, but his eyes aglow. Upon his back, and now his very own, He bore two vast and trunkless legs of stone. Amid the torrent of collector’s jargon I gathered he had found himself a bargain, A permanent conversation piece post-prandial, Certified genuine early Ozymandial And when I asked him how he could be sure, He showed me P. B. Shelley’s…

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[batgovernor]

Unforgettable nonsense: Anon, 'I Eat My Peas With Honey'

I eat my peas with honey; I’ve done it all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, But it keeps them on the knife. ***** The staying power of well-turned nonsense rhymes is testament to the value of rhythm and rhyme for keeping something intact, perfectly remembered. The poem’s joke is well done, with a good punchline; but the word-for-word memorability comes from the magic of verse. The…

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[batgovernor]

Unforgettable nonsense: Samuel Wilberforce, 'If I Were a Cassowary'

If I were a cassowary On the plains of Timbuctoo I would eat a missionary, Cassock, bands, and hymn-book too. ***** Yes, cassowaries are from Australia and New Guinea, and Timbuktu is in Africa… but so what? The rhymes are too good to ignore. ‘Bands’, btw, refers to the pseudo-necktie thingies that priest-types and lawyer-types affect in some countries – little cloth flaps, plural because you…

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