(TL;DR - Clarke Griffin is good bisexual representation. Her love life oddly reflects mine. So I will fight you if you shit on Bellarke just because you think it somehow invalidates Clexa or Clarke’s bisexuality. It doesn’t. Clexa was real, and Bellarke can be just as real!)
I’m a bi woman who has historically been with more women than men. It just naturally happened that way.
My best friend is a bi man (5 years my senior) who has also historically been with more women. But when it comes to numbers in general, he’s been with both more men and more women than I have (Probably due to our age gap).
He became my friend because of our shared identity of being bisexual. He isn’t openly bi like I am because somehow people don’t accept men to be bi. If a man goes anywhere near a dick he just has to be gay apparently. *rolls eyes*
We both got along so well and we have both been in each other’s lives through a couple of our own relationships.
A few years ago I was in a serious relationship with a woman that I thought was the love of my life. But after 1.5 years she broke my heart and moved back to Europe (I live in Canada). I was moping for several months until my birthday that year and he and I went to get drunk to a karaoke bar (he had also just come out of a 6 month relationship that didn’t end well cause it was with a straight girl who didn’t like that he was bi).
One thing led to another and we ended up having sex that day. On my 23rd birthday. Then it happened a few times more and we slowly ended up in a relationship. Time flew by (I’m turning 26 soon) and now my best friend is the love of my life. He recently proposed and I accepted.
While dating we still went to pride and stuff in Toronto like always. We were comfortable with being bi. He doesn’t speak to other people about it like he does with me, but he is now unapologetic about being who he is.
(Also side note; he was the only person who cared enough to watch the 100 with me. And even though at the start he thought it was a bit childish or whatever, he has secretly grown to love it because it’s one of “our things”.. we call it “hunnitz” btw. We love watching hunnitz together lol — He also likes Echo.. but sometimes wonders why Raven didn’t end up with Bellamy instead of Echo. And prefers for Clarke to be “Sucking face with Lexa’s ghost” — I only ever thought of Braven as a BroTP so I’m not sure why he’s keen on them together but it is what it is lol)
Anyway, since we became serious and our friends and family got on board with our relationship he and I have both been uncomfortable in acknowledging that we are bisexual to anyone new in our life. While the people who knew our past know it to be true... I find myself feeling like part of my identity is being stripped from me because I ended up with someone of the opposite sex. He doesn’t feel as offended as I do because he is happy to have a “traditional family” which will appease his parents and the rest of his more traditional relatives. (Which is ironic to me cause he’s white.. and I’m brown.. and my parents and friends have been super chill since I came out... his, not so much).
But the point I want to get to with my long ass story is that I feel personally offended that bi people are kinda pushed out of the bi club by people as soon as they end up with someone of the opposite sex. As soon as I got engaged to a man, suddenly everyone came to the conclusion that we are finally over our “experimental phase”. No. That’s fucked up. I’ve genuinely been in love with women, and even dreamt of a life with one, a marriage and kids and all of that shit. My first kiss was with a boy, and I lost my virginity to a girl. You have no right to tell me that all of that was just a weird phase. You have no right to tell me that I’m probably not bi cause I’m gonna marry a man now.
I see this with the whole Bellarke thing. I was a big fan of Clexa. And I don’t even think the show was trying to specifically bait anyone with that. They’ve already established that sexual preferences are not at all an issue in this post apocalyptic world. And I assumed Lexa just died so fast because the actress had another big gig coming up. Even if that wasn’t the case, Clarke getting with Bellamy shouldn’t ruin Clarke’s bisexuality for anyone, or the genuineness of her relationship with Lexa. The point of being bi is that you are open to being with a man or a woman.
It’s almost as if people are only comfortable with bisexuality if you end up with someone of the same sex at the end? Like that makes no sense to me? Clarke Griffin is good bisexual representation and I will fight anyone who shits on the show just because people are shipping Clarke with Bellamy. Clarke and Bellamy have a long standing friendship that I personally identify with, and while I will accept whatever the show does with their characters, I am 100% with the Bellarke ship because to me defending Bellarke now feels like defending myself. Defending my choice to marry the man that’s been by my side for so long. Defending my bisexuality. I will go down with Bellarke. FIGHT ME.