#hunter k

[the-loserly-misfits-of-bca]

Hunter hates the Japanese.

Calebae 

[the-loserly-misfits-of-bca]

So with the BCA expansion plan, you left out the very crucial part of Hunter Kings Hooters where he has his own desk in the middle of the restaurant. He was too excited about to just leave it out of the plans

Oh you’re right I forgot about that

[the-loserly-misfits-of-bca]

Karissa: Well...he’s not really EATING the pen-

Hunter K:

*CRUNCH*

[the-loserly-misfits-of-bca]

Hünter: At least he’s not saying sexy

Hunter K: sexyyyyy

Hünter: ...

Hunter K: Who ya married to?

Hünter, hesitantly: Karissa.

Hunter K: Well you best be getting some divorce papers

Karissa: *blushing furiously, incredibly uncomfortable, tapping her thigh repeatedly with her palm*

Calebae: It looks like Karissa’s already thinking about one...

Hünter, loudly: HONEY, I SWEAR IT’S NONCONSENSUAL!

[mgrgfan]

Survival (mini-fic)

Even before she has broken the protective shell of her egg, she could feel something wrong in the world around her. Unlike what it was supposed to be, environmental Aura streams were heavily distorted and plain wrong. Still, she knew that she couldn’t remain here anymore, so, a single strike of organic-metal spike broke a thick calcium shell, allowing small Emmanation Pokemon to enter the outside world.

She looked at herself. Not that she was completely sure, but wasn’t it supposed to be three fingers on her hand, not a four and a fifth opposed one? Could the Aura of this place do something to her? And... why she was thinking so clear for something barely hatched?

Suddenly, her “dreadlocks” felt something angry. Something, that was very interested in freshly broken eggshell and sure, that, whatever has hatched from it, wasn’t far away and would make a pretty good snack. She tried to “fade out” her Aura and took a refuge in ruins, full of sharp metal parts and unsure floors, made of concrete (she was still not sure, where from she knew all that, not nothing of it mattered right now).

She passively Aura-”looked” at her previous resting place and saw a big Pokemon, which radiated hunger and agression, take a look at all sides (literally, because it had three big compound eyes) and then, angry, devour what little was left of eggshell and small flying Pokemon, which has just happened to get near at the wrong moment, while cutting the second one in half with a short swing of razor-barbed tongue. When he left, she carefully returned and, feeling very hungry, finished the agony of what was left of the flying Pokemon and made sure the body won’t go to waste.

At this moment, she couldn’t guess it, but it’ll become her style of life for several next years - find the nearly- or freshly dead Pokemon, cut some of them with self-invented Aura attack and quickly consume it, before real predators or scavengers come nearby. While she had fur color far from being camouflage one, she has managed to make up for it with Aura - she could let world’s streams flow right through her, preventing anyone, who relied on Aura in receiving what was happening around, from detecting her, while also silently using her inner Aura to distort the light, silence the sounds and nullify the smells. She became the stealthiest being in this part of world.

Today was the day she got busted.

Despite all her Aura-based cloaking, despite all of her stealth attemps, one of the local Pokemon has managed to find out about her and, what was the worst, find her.

Now it was chasing her.

Her left leg hurt really bad from getting chemical burn from one of the spits. Because how it wasn’t coagulating, it was, probably, base, instead of acid (she never bothered to think about where from she was getting all of this knowledge - it sorta just happened to somehow get into her head in the least apropriate times). She knew she would be able to use Aura to heal it later, but right now, she couldn’t do a thing about it.

Now, she has managed to drive this to unfinished abandoned building, complete with metal sticks sticking out of walls and just laying here and there.

Suddenly, she tripped on one of those sticks and fell over, quickly trying to get back standing. She succeeded, but situation had already got from “bad” to “really bad”. 

Riolu saw, how a big, angry and strong Pokemon leaps at her, opening a huge maw with lots of sharp teeth, and, not understanding, what she’s doing, rose a big metal stick above her head, while closing eyes and cutting herself from Aura reception.

A monstrous squeak and dying roar of pain nearly destroyed her ears, but, somehow, she was still alive. After waiting for several more seconds, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at what have just happened.

The Pokemon, which wanted to eat her, jumped straight at the thin metal stick and got skewered on it. From what she could tell, he jumped just right to get his heart pierced, so it was of no wonder he died so quickly.

She could feel something strange, something building up in her. The death of this monster - the same one which has nearly killed her several years ago - made her feel some sort of a relieve and... Pride, for what she has done?

On this thought, she felt suddenly getting overwhelmed with some sort of a light, her body getting warped and changed. When it was over, she looked herself over, noticing the dense yellow fur and bio-metallic spike on chest, muzzle getting sharper, feeling the second set of Aura sensors, more power... and a huge hunger. The food was right here, impaled on the metal stick. After so many years of scavenging, she simply couldn’t let such a great fresh carcass go to waste.

After the meal time was over, she noticed something strange in herself. A strange emmanation, which have been present in her since her hatching here, has finally made it’s presence clear. It was dark, cruel, calculative, remorseless... but it was exactly what she needed to survive here, so, she completely embraced it.

Before finally leaving this place, she used several of her “Aura Cut” attacks to chop herself a decent part of this metal stick (”rebar”, as the name for it has suddenly appeared in her mind) and sharpen one of the ends of it. She couldn’t explain, but she felt it’ll help her great time in the future. She couldn’t help but wonder, why does it fit in her five-fingered hand so well.

A quick Aura-accelerated charge with rebar set before her - and prey’s heart gets pierced, ending the fight before it had ever began. A second decisive strike - and it’s mate dies with severed spinal cord. Since she has become Lucario, she finally stopped being a mere scavenger and became quite a death player here herself. While she still was not an apex predator here, she haven’t lost her stealth skills (in fact, she has continued at ever-enhancing them) and always knew when to fold her plans. However, she still never risked approaching groups of humans with firearms. While human bodies were fragile and could be destroyed with aa single maxed-out Aura Sphere or similar attack, their guns, loaded with something they called “Ripper rounds”, could quickly (and very painfully) kill most of the local Pokemon. Attacking humans was just not worth it, especially after how they’ve firebombed a place from air, after one of the mightiest Pokemon here had killed fifty humans.

She knew it was a trap.

Somehow, whoever stood behind those Pokemon and co-ordinated their doings, has lured her into this very narrow valley and locked her in it.

She stood proud, clenching the sharpened rebar in her left hand. Lucario knew, that it may be not of much use here, but she wanted to be ready to give her all.

Suddenly, she felt a human presence getting stronger behind them. It definitely was a woman, which, for some strange reason, wanted to see the fight with her own eyes (not without backing herself up with some Protects, several additional Pokemon guards and a firearm, of course).

She concentrated her Aura sense on this human woman... and saw something very dark in her soul. This darkness, while different from the one which gave the Lucario her power, was still somewhat familiar. This darkness brought understanding. There was no use in fight, because like has no need to fight like.

- I surrender, - sent a peaceful Aura message Lucario, while slowly lowering the rebar. - I sense no need in fight.

- Why is that? - asked human woman in somewhat defiant voice, but deep inside, the dark power in her soul became interested.

- Because you bear darkness, as do I. Even if they are different, like does not need to fight like. I think we can achieve something greater if we allow our darknesses to work together.

- Hm. You tell truth. Readings of my sensors tell me, that you are different from the normal Lucarios and your abilities are almost on par of those of the low-level Legendaries. Do you know, why is that?

- The darkness of this land has touched me. Changed me. Gave me the bliss of power, - replied Lucario, feeling some strange pride rising in herself.

- Yeah, you are the only introduced Pokemon I know who has managed to survive on border between Tunguska and real Soris, - said the human woman. - So, to Pokeball stage we go?

- I do not know what do you mean, but I’m ready, - replied Lucario, seeing, how human tosses the small spherical device with strange markings towards her, how this device opens, how her body slowly, but painlessly, gets warped and twisted in all ways possible and some, that are essentially impossible, then everything settles down and calms, then disturbance arises again - and she stands before human once more.

- Absolutely no resistance! - wondered human, looking at Lucario.

- Why should I resist something, that will allow me to unite my path with other bearer of darkness and help me achieve something greater? - calmly asked her Aura Pokemon.

- I’m happy about it, actually. So, do you understand, that from now onwards, you will obey all of my orders?

- I most certainly do.

- So the darkness in our souls will become one and open a path to something greater?

- Absolutely.

-... You’re the strangest Pokemon I’ve ever met. Anyway, nice to get you in my team. I assign you tactical designation “Blue Rapier”.

- I thank you for that. And... how should I call you? Mist...

- No, not this crap! - objected human, then gave the Lucario an evil twisted smirk. - Simpy “K” or “Commander” would suffice.

[monhunhar-blog]

Chapter 1: Hunters (Part 3)

She yanked her down the stairs, Rieko almost falling as she stomped ahead.

            ‘How dare he. My guild desk. Has he no respect,’ Aveline fumed to herself.

            They reached the red wooden door at the bottom of the steps and she threw the door open as she continued her rant.

            ‘I will end him. I will take his gourd and bludgeon him naked…’

            ‘Naked?’ said Rieko.

            Then she saw him too.

            ‘Oh. Naked.’

            The hunter was monstrous, his head inches from the ceiling. Where the drunk at the desk was wiry, this guy was a hulking mass of muscle. He was standing in front of a huge mirror, stark naked, and flexing. As he heard their voices he turned, smiled, and made his way to the door. Aveline made a choked squeaking sound. Rieko was trying her best to maintain eye contact, craning her neck ever upward as the man came closer.

            He leant against the top of the doorframe with his forearm and said, ‘Hi.’

            Aveline slammed the door in his face.

            She and Rieko looked at each other with wide eyes for a second and they wordlessly turned to leave only to be greeted by a dark figure standing directly behind them.

            ‘Elder bloody…’ said Aveline before she caught herself.

            The man was dressed to the neck in dark black woven leather and scaled armour. He stood and watched them silently

            ‘I’m sorry,’ said Aveline with a nervous laugh. ‘You kind of startled me. I wonder if you can help us? I’m Aveline, the new Guild clerk and this is Rieko. Who’s in charge here?’

            He stared at Aveline then Rieko with fierce and angry blue eyes, and then he pushed unceremoniously between them to the door. Inside, the big man was back to posing and admiring himself.

            ‘Mayer, come here. I need you to hold something,’ he said.

            Mayer slammed the door without so much as a backward look.

Read the first part at: http://monhunhar.tumblr.com/archive

Hunter K is a non-profit fan made experiment. Monster Hunter is owned by Capcom. Original characters are owned by me. Go play MH3U!

[monhunhar-blog]

Chapter 1: Hunters (Part 2)

Steam rose in curling pillars over the thatched roofs and warm colours of Yukumo village against a tableau of green and grey cloud tipped mountains. Aveline hitched an ecstatic Chippy to an aged, umber coloured archway and led Rieko up the stone cobbled path. Little pools steamed away in odd places here and there. Small round statues with stone ears bubbled like little fountains in some, a giant egg sat and boiled in another.

            The centre of the village only had a few buildings. Rieko could see the yellow thatching of the residences peeking from the forest canopy down one of many paths. They passed a shop that sold strange herbs, bottles of different coloured fluids, nets and pickaxes, and many things she could neither recognise nor understand. Across from the shop was the smith, it’s roof reinforced with shingles to withstand the heat. A large cat, just a little over a meter tall, stood on its hind legs and tried on some red chitinous armour and a matching fox-like helmet. It looked up at the two as they passed.

            ‘You know it’s rude to stare,’ said Aveline.

            ‘Oh,’ said Rieko.

            She looked away but realised that made it more obvious she was staring. She looked at Aveline for a cue. Aveline bowed politely to the cat and continued on.

            ‘You’re going to have to get used to this pretty fast. Life in a hunter village is nothing like in the cities or the towns you’re used to. We’re on the frontier here. Here there be monsters,’ she said, making sure to emphasise the word monsters and grinning like she told the most clever joke in the history of jokes.

            When Rieko didn’t respond she frowned and with a huff, increased her pace to the centre of the village.There stood a large building, eastern in design, a trend inherited from a race called Wyvernians, sitting higher then the rest of the village at the end of a set of stone steps. Steam poured out of its high windows and a large symbol of the hot springs was emblazoned on its facade.

            ‘Where are we going?’ said Rieko.

            ‘The guild here shares its space with the hot springs,’ said Aveline. ‘Usually we strike a partnership with a tavern or kitchen. We get a place to base out of as well as food and drink and the establishment earns continued patronage and the prestige of serving honourable hunters. So Yukumo is quite special in that regard.’ 

            She gasped and grabbed Rieko’s hand as they reached the top of the steps. 

            ‘But this is it Rieko! You’re going to be a hunter. One of the most honourable and respec…’ Aveline let out a squeak.

            Inside was split into two. One half was a large fenced off spring, however the other half was what drew the girl’s attentions. The floor was hardly visible through the dirty crumpled papers, some with clearly defined footprints on them. Empty gourds rolled around in between the paper. At the far end of the hall was a long bar that looked like it used to serve as the guild desk. Someone was sleeping, their head lay on the bar, a towel wrapped around their hair. In one hand they were clutching a sideways gourd tightly, liquid slowly glugged out and dripped to the floor. Aveline stormed over to him and slammed her hand down in front of the man.

            He jerked awake and almost fell down behind the bar, eyes wide and yelling, ‘welcome-to-yokmo-service-guild-desk-i-am-your-servicer-how-may-i-service-you?’

            He clutched the edge with one hand to bring himself as upright as he could, while not letting go of the gourd with the other. The man was young and quite slender but strong, like a tightly braided wire cable. Rieko knew he wasn’t an ordinary villager. He looked down to see what he was holding and looked pleasantly surprised when he discovered the gourd and took a long drink to compose himself. The only other piece of clothing he wore was a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Rieko saw Aveline clench her teeth so tightly she began to shake. The towel swathed man finished his drink and seemed slightly more lucid but no less drunk.

            ‘I am Markku. I slay all the mighty beasts because I am,’ he thought for a second. ‘Great. I have many a quest for ye mighty of hunters.’

            Markku turned around, still holding the desk and the empty gourd, to a large board covered in layers and layers of coloured papers like the ones strewn about the floor. He used is gourd hand to rip one at random and held it close to his face, squinting as he read.

            ‘What,’ Aveline said through her teeth. ‘Are you—’

            ‘Shhhhshhush. I can do this. Watch.’

            He cleared his throat.

            ‘Needed. Twelve mushrooms for a ste—you know what?’

            He threw the piece of paper over his shoulder. Aveline drew in a sharp breath. He tore another paper from the board.

            ‘There is a… Ay-oh-ah-shira? Stealing honey from our—whatever.’

            He slammed the paper down on a wet patch on the bench.

            ‘Go kill it. A perfect quest for you two ladies.’

            He tried to wink but failed.

            ‘However,’ he said as he leaned in closer, lowering his voice to a not so quiet drunk whisper. ‘I am going to have to ask for a larger than the usual acceptance fee up front.’

            Rieko let out a snort of laughter but caught herself when Aveline shot her a death glare.

            ‘I know, I know, it’s unorthodox but I dun’ make the rules. Three thousand—no four thousand zenny should be good. Yeah.’

            Aveline’s knuckles whitened as she clutched the edge of the desk and she spoke with barely contained fury.

            ‘Who’s in charge here. I want to speak to your superior.’

            ‘Ah, that would be my brother. I’ll get him.’

            Markku bent over behind the desk and yelled, ‘Ygg! Yggdra—’

            He cut off as he collapsed to the sound of what must have been dozens of empty gourds scattered on the floor. There was a scuffle as Markku, unseen to Rieko and Aveline, argued with his ‘brother.’

            ‘Yggdra, it’s your turn.’

            ‘No, I jush had my turn,’ said an identical voice.

            ‘I have been up there for like—A billion hours. It’s your turn.’

            ‘Eat a dung bomb you giggi loving son of a—’

            ‘Look, if you don’t go up there, who will serve the two ladies?

            There was a pause.

            The young man sprung up from behind the desk. His head towel was gone and he hurriedly and clumsily tried to palm his uneven brown hair into submission with his free hand, the other still clutched a gourd. He had the exact same wiry frame, thin face, and bright blue eyes. Identical.

            ‘Hello the two ladies,’ he said. ‘I am Yggdra, the better looking and smarter and less unconscious on the floor right now one.’ He looked down at the floor where his supposed brother lay. ‘Look at you,’ he said. ‘You’re a disgrace!’ He looked back to them and seemed surprised they were still standing there. ‘Welcome to Yu—’ he hiccoughed. ‘—mo village guild how may I service you?’

            ‘I want to talk to somebody else,’ said Aveline. ‘No more brothers, no uncles, and no second cousins that just happen to look exactly like you.’

            ‘Don’t be silly. The rest of my family’s dead.’

            He laughed a little too hard.

            ‘Outside and down the stairs. It’s the building on the—‘

            He held up his hands in front of him then traced an L in the air and compared it to each free hand.

            ‘Ummm right? Sure, why not. Just go right in. Someone should be there.’

            Rieko felt her arm almost pull out of its socket as Aveline grabbed her and pulled her out the door.

             Read the first part at: http://monhunhar.tumblr.com/archive

Hunter K is a non-profit fan made experiment. Monster Hunter is owned by Capcom. Original characters are owned by me. Go play MH3U!