me before i fall asleep
umm
art in heart from Pinterest

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me before i fall asleep
umm
art in heart from Pinterest
new fanfic reader discourse
lately I’ve seen a lot discussion (mostly on twt) about people being frustrated that “normies” read fanfic now, and the random influx of fanfic readers (especially in the stranger things fandom) over the past half a year or so and I feel like I can add some perspective to this situation as someone who didn’t start reading fanfiction until the beginning of december 2025 and didn’t start writing it until about a month after that
I have adhd and my entire life I have had pretty extreme and obsessive hyperfixations, stranger things being a HUGE reoccurring one since I first watched it. before I understood hyperfixation and my adhd and why it happens, I knew that I was a “one track mind” as my mom called it.
important context is that I was a sheltered kid, and my parents were always very strict about the internet and my media consumption and everything. so when I was obsessed with something I was confined to pinterest/youtube which aren’t fandom spaces. so I would also talk to my friends!
through my lack of fandom interaction and constant info-dumping to my friends, I learned that people in my life don’t care about the stuff I care about! and I learned to feel annoying, and I learned to be embarrassed by and ashamed of my interests. (for reference when I was extremely hyperfixated on heartstopper, I would text my own phone number every thought I had about it because I didn’t want to annoy my friends who I knew would leave me on read or make fun of me)
I also fell victim to “cringe culture” and the incessant judging of people who are in fandoms, cosplay, and read/write fanfiction. other people in my life found it weird so I thought I should too. it made me bitter.
also: when I was in middle school I wrote and read fanfiction for a short period of time. I shared this with friends. I was made fun of for it, and in fact I still get made fun of for it by these people who I no longer share my interests with
this sort of treatment and experience was the reason I wasn’t involved in fandom culture
back in the summer, I downloaded tumblr because stranger thing promo started and I was starting to get obsessed again. I figured that if my friends didn’t care I should find people who do.
so that brings me here. I discovered a world i’d never been exposed to and learned to love parts of myself I didn’t know existed, and found that i’m my happiest when I indulge in my interests and don’t feel embarrassed about them anymore.
I understand the frustration when something people have been made fun of for for so long becomes more mainstream and widely accepted, but also this acceptance and inclusion is actually helpful to a lot of people who felt like they were alone
tldr: it’s okay to be frustrated and want to gatekeep, but keep in mind that even though this is new for some people, it’s still special and sacred and makes them feel happier than they thought they could.
The ADHD leaving my body as soon as I decide I need to get everything done right now or I WILL die (I’m manic and hyperfixated) (if I’m interrupted, I’m never getting up again).
me vs undercurrent of fixation for murderbot stuff, just going !!!!!!!! as a process in a background