Madslulu: I know you don’t care about me, but I still care about you. I’m sorry if my love is overwhelming but I still want you, I still need you. I will try to let you go but you are a part of me I cannot be without, but I’ll learn because I love you, despite all of this I still love you
for those that are perhaps.... not in the know.... how would you summarize your past?
Ohhh kay, okay that is a lot to summarize but I’ll try my best.
(If you want a more complete story I do have vods where I explain all of my lore on past servers hashtag Peachywasstolen on twitch hashtag not sponsored)
Anyway this will be a little bit long so #read more
Basically, on December whatever I joined the server to help my friend madslulu in their goal against jbdtm, who was determined to kill all immortal players.
He tried to spawn kill me, failed so miserably he gave up and ran away, real shit. And I got to live another day and run off with mads. Until I got my first death, marking me as not immortal.
Then my friends, lira purjopa and Pluto joined the server. Their goal to remain as immortal as long as they could while fighting jbdtm and his team. And I was on their team. A 7 person team of hope against them. QC, quantum cats or whatever. But it was always unstable and going to fall apart, all of us were too selfish with our own wants and needs and using each other, we all knew.
One night I had a talk with jb about the server. I realized how similar we are, kinda a weird feeling to be so similar to the guy that wanted you dead, but what can you do? I started to realize that QC was, really really bad for me. And maybe jb’s goal wasn’t that bad. And so I betrayed. And mads came with me
Jb betrayed his team then too, and we got celestials. Yay! Uh, fucking yikes codependency hell. They were both so obsessed with other people there was really no point in calling it a team. No matter what jb would spiral and refuse to change or get better even though he said he would. Mads is obsessed with being friends with everyone, being the kindest soul, and being “better” because they care oh so much.
(I talk about them negatively now but there were good times, just hard to think about them without missing them)
So I was alone, and purjopa was my only friend (spoiler: that was a lie?????) I was fighting a cruel god for a sword that no one understood, ad Astra.
Until I met Nottjt. Who became my teammate, and my friend. And I was never good enough for him and in a way I failed and now he’s gone, coming back. Eventually. And purjopa wants me to suffer and to give up
And that’s up to present day, I miss my friend, my teammate. I miss all of the things I could’ve done, but I keep going. What else do I have but my determination?
Do you think that everyone should move on from their past no matter how much they might miss it or the people they once had?
I think that there’s a lot of nuance to it.
But I think there should be effort in moving forwards, and I think drowning in your past is still drowning. I don’t know how to fix it myself but I can at least recognize my heads under water
what would it take for you to give ad astra away? does the sword still matter to you as much, even if plutos departure has been solved?
I don’t know how to answer that, ad Astra is an heirloom to me at this point. Even with Pluto gone it isn’t nesscecarily about Pluto, it’s about the memories before that. I can’t think of a price that would make me give it up right now yknow?
i'm very good thank you for asking! so I hear about a team trying to. hunt you down? do you know the reason why that would occur? -k
Ohh ywouch
Like honestly there is, probably a decent reason. I tend to do things that deserve that. Purjopa is jealous, I think. That might be a reason, I I don’t know what of, they have the entire world backing them, all the friends they could ask for. Devine intervention. And save for the few people who pity me I’m alone. Maybe they just like to see me suffer?
I don’t know, I hate fighting purjopa. They know every way to get into my head, it’s hard to fight against someone who knows you so damn well