I Am Chronically Ill
Though this is not Sims related I wanted to take the time to write this out to maybe help somebody to open up to their followers.
I have never shared my name or illnesses publicly on this page, but hi. My name is Natalie. I have Cerebral Palsy, Hypothyroidism, and up until February that also included Graves disease. As well as damage from a car accident and smaller things mixed with a bit of mental illness.
In the last 2 years I've almost lost my life.
Here's a bit of my story (Some photos at the end of post):
I was born with mild Cerebral palsy. I had surgery to walk and learnt to do so at three. My muscles are tight throughout my body, especially on the right side, and I can't use my right hand/arm that well. I have developed slight arthritis, and have had pretty severe anxiety and on/off depression since I was around 7. Life was pretty tolerable, as I didn't know any other way of living. I was in some pain, anxiety attacks were frequent, and I also dealt with everything on my own. But in 2015 things changed significantly.
In between June - July of 2015 I dropped a total of 31 pounds (And had extremely dangerous high blood pressure) with no explanation. My little brother got worried, and on my first date with my boyfriend Tyler he'd asked if I was okay because I'd dropped so much weight in the few weeks since he'd seen me. We found out in August of that year I had hyperthyroidism so bad it was shutting down my heart, and they didn't think I'd have enough time to get the medication and find the right dose, because your thyroid medication dose is VERY complicated. So at that point I was basically told I was dying, and Ty, a month into our relationship sat with me in fear and cried. When I gave him permission to leave, he immediately refused.
A moth or two later my eyes started to noticeably bouldge out of the sockets, so drastically that I couldn't close them completely even when sleeping, and my thyroid gland started to get so big it was constricting my breathing even when sitting, and looked like there was a doughnut sat in my neck. Long story short, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease, where the muscles in your skull grow and push your eyes out, all because of my thyroid gland. I have even had my left eye pop out of the socket because my eyelid got stuck behind the eye itself while trying to blink. And yes, I put it back in the socket both times myself.
I was in a severe car accident in February 2016 that destroyed my hips, and tore every muscule around my spine. In which all the damage is permanent and untreatable.
I had a complete thyroidectomy in October 2016 so the thyroid gland couldn't grow back, (thyroid glands can grow back if you don't remove it all when necessary) changing my diagnosis from Hyperthyroidism to Hypothyroidism, making it possible that I would survive, now being competently reliant on a small pill to live and replace my thyroid glad. Sadly not a very good life day to day, just to survive.
I've had three orbital decompression surgeries so far to remove the excess muscle and some bone behind and around my eyes so they could be put back in place, and can't come out anymore, reconstructing my face essentially. But that left damage and issues to coincide. Also completely changing my face for the now 3rd time in my life, which unexpectedly has been quite scaring mentally.
The sad thing is, I'll never just have CP again and be "healthy". I'll have tremendously more unpredictable pain and illness for the rest of my life that controls every minute, and that's heartbreaking. But at the same time I've gained a lot of great things, people, and lessons. I spent the majority of my life alone, learning how to live with anxiety and depression. But now? Now I have Tyler. The most amazing man I've ever met. He's taught me it was okay to be taken care of, and thru all the physical and mental pain weighing on me lt's okay, and will better over time. Coming from someone who has Asperger's syndrome and depression himself, and has learnt and grown so much partially because of me and this journey he's found himself in. I am enormously proud of the person that he is.
This is a little bit of my story, and I hope it touched you in some way. I've been thinking about sharing more about my health with you all for a while, because at the end of the day I'm not ashamed and you shouldn't be either. I walk a little weird and that's okay. I have a scar across my neck and I'm proud of it. Hell, I'm a person who shares her scar with her own Sim, thanks to @simthing-clever...
I take pride in educating others about how my life is, it makes me genuinely happy to answer questions and spread awareness. If you want to ask questions or share your story, even just talk to me or share your two cents privately or in a comment, I'm all yours.
This is me. Thank you for accepting me with and without knowing the person you sometimes see on your dashboard.
Be proud of yourself and your story.
- Natalie, the simmer who lives a little different.
If you’d like to hunt for and see some more surgery photos or compare my face from before, during, and after Graves disease, here is the link to my personal Instagram.
