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i taped stuff on here ages ago and never took it off. one time somebody asked me in the dining hall what the words mean and i said "i don't know."

#i do know.#eb talks #there are like 0 homestuck fans here. like 3 max.

Robin: R. Kelly used to pee on people.

Billy: For sex?

Robin: I don't know what else it'd be for?

Steve: Jellyfish sting

#insp by a conversation i just had #i dont know what it means #i dont know anything about r kelly #i dont know if this is true #i do know.#i laughed.#briefly #also this conversation was very much. not related to anything else #just silence and then 'r kelly used to pee on people'#why man?#why is that what you wanted to tell us?#but it was.#im not sure if i wanna tag this :/#fuck it im doing it #steve harrington #billy hargove #robin buckley

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#personal #yearning #i need to cuddle or ill die #you KNOW the desperation will get bad #i do know.#uuuuugggghhhhfhfjdbsnsshsbhshsbs #touch me touch me touch me

I'm revisting my original OCs. Every once in a while I drag these fuckers out for another 50 pages of angst and then put them away again for another 5-10 years.

I started writing them when I was in high school. I'm 30 now. And I've realized some things that change the characterization of them rather a lot.

Originally Rupert is constantly agonizing over how he's Not Normal TM. He's not comfortable with his sexuality, he's not comfortable with his disability, and it's always on his mind. The disability is aquired relatively recently so he can agonize over that just fine. But.

You don't get to be in your 40s and still be actively agonizing over being gay when you've known your whole adult life. It can be a recurring problem. You can be closeted. You can be DL. But you can't be constantly agonizing over it. Either you accept it or you find a way to live around it. You find a way to live that isn't just Feeling Bad and Worrying all the time about the thing. If you're closeted there will be moments of worry. But you've settled on a solution. You're gay but ur just not gonna tell anyone. You can stop agonizing and just do that.

But when I wrote these characters for the first time a decade and a half ago, I was still agonizing over my gender and sexuality and had been for literally years. It felt like that would (or at least could) last forever. It's only as a Whole Ass Adult that I've realized that the obsessive rumination can only last so long. You figure out a way to live, or you die.

So Rupert is a self-hating DL on grindr kind of gay now. And I've gotta drag him kicking and screaming into accepting himself and accepting that he loves his best friend. Even though his best friend is not sane and will never live anything approaching a Normal Life TM. He's worth it though. For rupert at least.

I'm all grown up and now my OCs get to act like real grown ups too.

#Rupert also says fuck now.#Dunno why I never let them swear in the original.#I do know.#I was a pretentious little fuck and wanted my Serious Literary Writing to be untainted by crass obscenity.#So glad I grew out of that one too.

kip you ask me why are the only two songs on your skuld playlist speedcore and eurobeat touhou. and I go man I dunno

#I do know.#mine #galaxy collapse is because an amv blasted into my brain like a divine vision after reading corishadowfang’s skuld fic #it’s still blasting into my brain FOR THE RECORD #and time will tell is because another amv blasted into my head about. Just her. I think she should come back and try to fight ven #have I made this exact post before. Maybe. I don’t have a great memory #but Skuld is made of fast eurobeat to me now

I don’t even want to know.

#I do know.#But I'm choosing to ignore it.

Article titles that include the phrase "things you didn't know about..." piss me off.

#Believe me.#I do know.

I'm revisting my original OCs. Every once in a while I drag these fuckers out for another 50 pages of angst and then put them away again for another 5-10 years.

I started writing them when I was in high school. I'm 30 now. And I've realized some things that change the characterization of them rather a lot.

I'm all grown up and now my OCs get to act like real grown ups too.

#i do know.

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