#i flinched

[starsworth]

Jean didn’t want to say it, but he had to know. The words crawled out of him, tearing his throat on their way: “She’s dead, isn’t she?”

“A mild term for it.”

[rosielrosario]

When im at peace but suddenly I remember my Isaak x Cain phase out of nowhere

[beauvilliers]

"a heated rival" please. this is a classy event. don't bring that here.

[gloopdimension]

Dude. Check this out.

[oshiemonster]

"the doctor can't be scary when he calls people darling and babes, he's too camp" really? because my fitbit thinks I just went for a run so

[daydreaming-in-letters]

How many ways to mispronounce “Hozier” are there?

Klaas Heufer-Umlauf: YES!

[sevikasleftpussyflap]

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won't stop to ask directions.

Oh my god this is the last one finally

Do not look up “sperm” in the gifs good lord

[moontours]

Ẇ̷̭̍è̸̪ ̴̦̙̅l̷̺̖͒͘o̴̲̍v̴̝͂́e̸̹̣̊̿ ̶̜̞̊̍y̴̥̺͋o̷̢̗͆͛u̸̘̎͝ͅ,̴͙̥̔̏ ̶̪͕̒͝J̷̲̀̅è̷̫̒ą̶̠̉̒n̶̗̍͘.̴̝̤̽̕ ̴̺̦͌W̸̘͙̾h̴͉͍͌e̴̘̔r̵̢̞͑̾ȇ̷̖͎̆ ̴̲́ả̴̪͔̂r̴̫͌e̵͕̎ͅ ̴̧̬̋̐y̶̲̽o̵͓͕͝u̷̘̠͂,̵͇̃ ̷̼͗J̸̩͒̉e̴̪̫͝a̵͔̺͘͘n̷̮͎̕͝?̸̫̓͜ ̴̣̣̊̃Ẇ̴̞̋h̷̨̃͊y̵͈̹̋ ̷̣͆̾ȧ̷̖̪̕r̵̦̥̃e̵͕͎̓̈́ ̵͖̆̀y̷̲̆͐o̸̩̘̓̈́u̶̇͜ ̷͙̀͂͜r̷̭̓̒u̴̯̪̍͛n̶͓̍̋ǹ̵̦i̸̡̽n̵͉̲̂͛g̷̹͝,̴̳̘̓̈́ ̶̹̘̍J̸̠̌͜e̴͚̔ạ̵̦̎̕n̴̛̻̋?̴̮̚ ̴̭͂̋W̴̪̙̍e̸͔͘ ̴̟̦̄̈j̸̺̤́ů̴͎̻s̴̞̓́t̶̖͗̚ ̴͙̀̈́w̸͓͒̄ă̸̮ñ̴͙̊ṫ̷̡ ̴̗̭͂̀ẗ̶̙́o̶̲͐ ̶̩̅l̷͈̏o̷̢̔v̴̹̚͘e̷͆̑͜ͅ ̸̧̙̂̎y̸̤̞̏o̵̗̚u̷͓͙͝,̵̛̣̥ ̶͈̣͗J̴͍̘͛̓é̷͜ͅä̵̬̪́ṅ̷̡.̴̘͋ ̵̹͑͌ͅW̸̦̑̃ȟ̴̖ȇ̷͖̚r̴̯̲̿̅é̴̬̬̇ ̷͓͖̄̈́i̴̯͌ś̴̝͘ ̵͈̅s̶͉̗̅h̸̲̃e̵̱͕̾́?̶̭̬͒̅

- @scoganemma

NO THIS WAS LITERALLY A JUMPSCARE