May 26, 2023
The ridiculous mental illness rollercoaster I'm going through with my gifs > I hate everything > I have no inspiration > gets inspired > these gifs are not bad I actually like them > god everything's ugly I can't gif *repeat daily*
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Japan
seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from France
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from Switzerland
seen from China
seen from Brazil
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Canada
seen from Italy
seen from United States
The ridiculous mental illness rollercoaster I'm going through with my gifs > I hate everything > I have no inspiration > gets inspired > these gifs are not bad I actually like them > god everything's ugly I can't gif *repeat daily*
god I wish I knew what it's like to have a best friend. a close friend. a friend..
loneliness creeps up on me again. it's sunday, it's normal.
I'm a loner. but i wish there was someone. every time I make a friend or find someone I feel is the person i'll really click with, they drift away or get snatched away from me. it happened so many times before, that I just don't believe I'll ever find a person to be by my side.
so I throw myself at others and today in particular I feel so embarrassed about this. why try? they don't want me.
what I've just written doesn't even make sense.
I think i should just accept it already that is too late, there is no reason to jump into people's life, it won't change anything. it's too late for me. too late.
I'm sorry if you feel like I am too friendly with you, whoever you are. it's not real anyway. for you, it never is.
you’ll be having a good day and feeling super nice and then get hit on by a delivery guy
said something about "if everyone who ordered looked like you...(i didn't hear)" + asked if where i lived was a student flat and asked what nationality i was
+ looking very intensly at me
i'd rather jump into the mountain than live like this
okay so i checked and yeah i knew i would be disappointed
isn’t that so funny? my laptop did it again. it just erased all my notes again. and when i performed my trick to get them back, it only brought back some of them, and absolutely none of them were even sorted into folders.
oh, look at that, another restart reset the whole lot again.
.
I was talking with my mom about celebrity deaths that had affected me earlier and I just knew that topic was going to screw me over