7 things that I have learnt in the past year:
No matter what it is, change is inevitable. Whether it's money, relationships, friends, jobs - the circumstances will change. Everything within life is temporary and this can be the greatest thing and also the most terrifying. The terms of things changing has always been based on how emotionally invested I am with that part of my life. However, change is the only constant that we can be sure of and it must be embraced in every possible way. I have struggled to come to terms with change in my life, especially when relationships are involved, but I am learning to appreciate it while it was there, and move on as best as I can.
2. Time heals everything.
When that inevitable change happens, it is incredibly important to remember that no matter what, time is the cure to it all. Disappointment, heartbreak, betrayal - all these emotions can create incredible pain. In these moments, it is so easy to get lost within self pity and sadness. Many times I felt as though I would never be able to pull through. But, no matter what, I have always woken up one morning with a weight lifted off my heart, along with my lungs feeling like they can breathe again. Depending on the pain will always depend on how much time you need. But trust me, time has healed everything in my life, even when I thought the suffering was going to last forever.
3. Everything happens for a reason.
And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. The good and the bad. It is very easy to only say in the good times that it was meant to happen. This beautiful boy was meant to come into my life. I was meant to get this job. I was meant to get into my dream university course. Yes, all these things are meant to be. But every awful situation is the same. Getting heart broken by the same beautiful boy who you thought would never leave you. Losing the job, or failing dramatically in that course. Those things were meant to be as well. Life is unfair, and sad, and beautiful, and it is not always easy. But if you believe that everything happens for some bigger purpose, and accept everything life throws at you, the freedom you feel will be unbelievable.
Returning to the past is a very easy and common thing to do, but it's called the past for a reason. When things are done, they are done and trying to relive moments will only continue heartache and delusions. When a relationship has ended, it must be left alone. When you and your best friend decide that its time to move on, it is done and needs to be. Memories, and people, can be some of the best past times to look back on. The past is also something to learn from and (hopefully) not make the same mistakes again. But you cannot live there. The moment you should be living in is the present, as this is the only moment where you can change your life and find contentment.
5. Social media is the worst.
This is a very contradictory statement since I am using a social media platform to write this post. But in this case, I am not really talking about Tumblr, but more Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. All of these things combined are ruining the genuineness and personal relationships we have with each other. I do not know how many times I have stalked the person I was seeing, whose pictures they were liking, and who they were following. Looking at posts where people capture their lives in one picture made me feel inferior and like I was missing out on something that never really existed. Only recently Snapchat removed Top Friends and I thought it was the worst thing to happen because I couldn't monitor who he was snapchatting. I have come to realize that my paranoia, anxiety, and insecurities have arisen dramatically as social media continues to flourish, and I am not okay with it. It has hurt relationships and myself, and it is so important to remember that it is not true, real, raw life, but only social media.
6. If you want to find the love of your life, stay off Tinder.
Being on Tinder quite a few times, I had hundreds and hundreds of matches. Every single one of those was an absolute waste of time. There was the exception of course - one person I met on there who changed a lot for me, and who I grew very close too. That person knows who he is, and if it wasn't for Tinder, I would never have met someone who I am forever grateful for. HOWEVER. Just because I was lucky enough to have that, I am afraid to say that Tinder does not really work like that, in my opinion. If people have found stable, healthy relationships out of it, then that is fantastic for them. For me, though, I do not really know what I expected, but what I do know is that sitting in front of a phone screen swiping left or right, basing it all on a persons appearance, is the most superficial and fake way to meet people and I really do not want anything to do with it.
7. Being self-content, independent and confident are the most important qualities to have.
Apart from all the failed dating, having my first love at 15, and the 'almost' relationships, I have primarily always been on my own. For so long, I have been very uncertain about why things are like that, and how love can ever really work. There is one thing I know for certain now, though. I am the most independent person, and my inner confidence and self love has just continued to grow. I have struggled with this for such a long time, but for 20 years of being alone, I have realized that I have benefited in every single way possible. I know that I cannot say that I have had a young love, or been in many, stable relationships. But for so long thinking that happiness comes from another person, or that I will only ever be content if I am in love, the more I have grown up I've realized that it is so far from the truth. Once I learn to fully love myself, and feel complete on my own, I know that THAT is what happiness is, and when I find the person who compliments that. If you are secure, and happy with the person you are, that is when, I believe, you become truly invincible and capable of everything and anything.
