The guilt and pressure to be physically active kind of sucks. I want exercise to be fun and not soul-crushing but every time I think about doing it, I think about how I've been failing at doing it and then I feel bad and want to avoid the topic.
I need to go hiking. If only the voice of societal judgement in my head would fuck off. I like hiking. I just hate the way I feel when I remember how long it's been since I've done it.
And the whole 'making exercise fun' thing doesn't work very well when there's pressure. It's like... you have to find the fun thing so you can be healthy and everyone will stop shaming you about it! Until you do people will keep saying weird things and every doctor you try to talk to about your chronic pain is going to tell you to do this with zero compassion for the fact that you're tired all the time and exercise has like a fifty-fifty chance of causing you agonizing pain!
It's not about the fun. It's about the shame. And it will never be about the fun or feeling better or any of that bullshit until it stops feeling compulsory. Until not doing it stops being a thing you get punished for.
Shame is a demotivator, you know. It absolutely sucks at getting people to do things.
*without me by eminem starts playing* Despite 2025's best efforts, I'm not dead yet! Check my tag rambling for more on what's going on with me lmao ANYWAY no one asked for a sequel to Dressing for the Cloudcall, but I'm here to provide one anyway because I'm a huge Leona simp and no one can stop me and I'm obsessed with a slow burn :) Same as the first part this one starts off a little rough but that's FINE this is mostly a set up chapter. I have WAY more of this in the chamber, but I didn't want to drop a 30k fic right off the bat so. "Chapters." Also for a timeline I'm putting the Cloudcalling Festival in late september early october, and this is taking place during an imaginary two week spring break because shut up don't question it.
“Herbivore.”
You spun around quickly at the sound of Leona’s voice, immediately concerned by the look on his face. He wasn’t looking at you, ears folded back in irritation as he scowled at the students giving him a wide berth as they went past. You broke off from your friends, heading over to where Leona was waiting for you. Before you could even ask any questions, he grabbed your wrist, leading you through the halls in silence. You knew better than to say anything when he got like this, even if it very rarely happened. He was obviously upset about something, tail flicking in irritation and smacking you in the shin every few steps. The walk to his spot in the botanical gardens was silent, and he didn’t release your wrist until he sat down in the grass, still not looking at you.
“Everything okay?” You asked slowly, quietly, sitting down a respectable distance from him.
He grumbled, rolling his eyes before taking out his phone, unlocking it quickly and shoving it into your hands. You gave him another concerned look before turning your attention to what was open on his phone, a text thread between him, Falena, and Shani. He only replied to them in one word responses when he could, and everything above the texts he’d gotten today were entirely uninteresting given what he’d received about an hour ago from Shani.
You’re bringing that girl of yours with you for the holiday, aren’t you?
It was only one line that he had yet to respond to, but you found yourself reading it over and over again. “That girl of yours.” You glanced up at him again and he still looked annoyed, still wasn’t looking at you, but you now knew what the undertone in his body language was.
“I’ll just tell ‘em you’re going with your frosh friends.” He grumbled, snatching his phone out of your hands.
“Why?” You asked quickly, before he could start typing.
He paused, finally looking up at you with an incredulous expression. “You can’t seriously want to come with.”
“Says who?” You grinned at him. “Shani said I could visit for school holidays whenever I wanted. Better than staying here while everyone’s gone.”
He rolled his eyes heavily, and you could practically see him weighing the options in his head. While his eyes weren’t on you, your hand crept towards his phone, ready to give Shani an answer yourself if you had to. He didn’t catch you until your hand was hovering over his, eyes snapping over to you before snatching your wrist and flipping you over him, into the grass. You laughed as your back lightly thumped against the ground, Leona pinning your hand next to your head as he loomed over you.
“Why do you want to go?”
“Why don’t you want me to?”
The question seemed to catch him off-guard as he stared down at you, eyes narrowing slightly. “It’s two weeks, not a weekend. And you’re not bringing the furball.”
“The furball is non-negotiable if he can’t go with Ace or Deuce.”
“Fuck, I’d pay them to take him.” He grumbled, rolling his eyes.
“So... I can come with?” You asked slowly, catching his eye again with a small smile.
“Why do you want to?” He asked again, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly.
“Your family is lovely.” You explained, leaning up to get in his face with a smirk. “Why don’t you want me to come with?”
He clicked his tongue in irritation, letting you go and sitting up again, turning away from you. You sat up slowly, trying not to laugh as he kept avoiding your eye when you leaned over to catch his gaze.
“Leona--”
“It ain’t the same thing as last time.” He said finally, a low rumble of a growl in his chest.
“What do you mean?”
“Last time there was something to do, we were there for a reason with a group of people for one night. This is just...” He sighed heavily, roughly pushing his hair back and scratching at his scalp.
“Hey... If you don’t want me to come with, I don’t have to.” You reassured him quietly, ignoring the rumble in his chest as you put a hand on his shoulder. “But it feels more like you’re trying to convince me to not want to.”
“It’s two weeks in the palace, stuck on babysitting duty,” he snapped, turning back to you with a confused look in his eye, “I don’t get why you want to go.”
“Because I want to spend time with you.” You admitted quietly.
He looked shocked for a moment before tearing his eyes away with a huff, tail rolling behind him. “Dammit Herbivore...” He grumbled, no real heat behind his tone before throwing his hands up in defeat. “Fine. But you don’t get to bitch about it if you get bored.”
“I won’t, I promise!” You assured him quickly.
..
You’re bringing that girl of yours with you the holiday, aren’t you?
yeah
Leona!!!
Wonderful! We’ll make sure there’s a room ready for her :)
k
..
The remaining days of school before the holiday flew past, Ace quickly agreeing to take Grim for the holiday when Leona pulled out his wallet. You knew he easily could’ve negotiated for a lot more just so Leona wouldn’t have to deal with Grim for two weeks, but you weren’t about to tell either of them that. Grim was upset about not being able to join you in the Sunset Savanna for the holiday, but quickly changed his tune when he was reminded about no one else coming with,. When the first day of the holiday hit, you and Grim arrived in the mirror chamber long before Leona did, sitting on your suitcase off to the side while you waited for him. You didn’t have a ton to pack in the first place, most of your clothes were school uniforms, but you did have some outfits to pack with your toiletries and homework. Grim had even less to pack, but you were sending him off with a backpack with his own homework and a handful of cans of the good tuna from Sam’s. A little gift he’d discover later if he actually went to grab the homework. Grim was curled up in your lap dozing as you watched friends said goodbye to each other before stepping through the mirror.
“Yoo-hoo!” You turned to see Cater making his way through the crowd towards you, waving as he approached.
“Hey Cay.” You smiled up at him as he stopped in front of you, Trey, Deuce, and Ace not far behind.
He gave you a confused look, glancing to your suitcase and backpack. “Are you... going somewhere?”
“Yeah, Leona’s family invited me to the Savanna for the break.” You explained, carefully scooping Grim into your arms as you stood up.
“You’re joking.” Trey huffed, looking a bit incredulous.
“Nope.” You shrugged, shaking Grim a little bit to wake him up.
“She’s not.” Ace confirmed with a heavy sigh, scooping Grim’s backpack off the floor and slinging it over his shoulder. “Leona even paid me to take Grim with me.”
“He wouldn’t have fun in the palace.” You chuckled as Grim stretched out in your arms, propping up to bury is face into your shoulder.
“Yeah, I think Leona just wants to make goo-goo eyes at you without having to worry about Grim being right there.” Ace scoffed, making Deuce snicker as you gently ran your hand over Grim’s back.
“I didn’t have to pay you, you know. I could’ve just threatened you into taking him.” Leona spoke up from behind Deuce with a languid yawn, making him and Ace jump.
You laughed at the looks on their faces as Ace scrambled to backpedal and apologize before you turned to Grim, scratching behind his ears a bit. “C’mon, boss. Time to go.” You whispered to him as he started to purr from the attention, claws digging lightly into your shirt.
“You sure about this, Henchman?” He mumbled, quiet enough for only you to hear, not moving from his spot on your shoulder. He sounded a little whiny, maybe a little sad. “I’m pretty sure if you asked, you could come with Ace and me instead.”
“I’m sure, bud.” You chuckled. “It’s just a couple weeks, try not to miss me too much.”
He scoffed, pushing himself up to look you in the face. You opted to ignore the little wet spot he left on your shoulder, not sure if it was from drool or tears. “Puh-lease! If anything, you’re gonna miss ME too much!”
“Of course.” You laughed, scratching behind his ear again. “Have fun, do that homework so you don’t tank our grades. Have Ace or Deuce call me if you need anything, okay?”
“Kay... Don’t get eaten.”
“No promises.” Leona scoffed, your suitcase already tossed over his shoulder. “You ready, Herbivore?”
You nodded to him before turning to Ace, handing a pouty Grim off. “Have fun guys, see you in a few weeks!”
You waved to your Heartslabyul friends, ignoring the disbelieving looks the third years were giving you before you moved to follow Leona, who was already headed for the mirror.
“Are you ready to go?” You asked as you caught up, smirking at him.
“Yeah, why?”
“You... don’t have anything.”
“I’ve got my phone and my wallet, I’ve got clothes at home. What else would I need?”
“Your homework, maybe?”
He scoffed, rolling his eyes as the two of you stopped to wait in line. “That can wait until after break, holidays are for resting.” He smirked down at you.
You hummed lightly and nodded. “No wonder you got held back.”
“Watch it.”
The second you got through the mirror, Leona was handing your suitcase off to an attendant with a disinterested yawn and they scurried away with it, bringing it to a waiting black car on the street. It was definitely the same location the mirror had led the last time you were here, but it felt entirely different in the pouring rain. The fountain had been shut off, probably due to risk of overflow, and it was significantly cooler than it had been just a few months ago. You thanked the attendant that handed Leona an umbrella, nearly stumbling to keep up as he pulled you into his side to keep you underneath it, headed for the car. He let you get in first, making you scoot in to make room for him as he shook the umbrella off before shutting the door behind him. He sighed heavily, leaning his head back against the headrest as you peeked out the window on your side, watching as an attendant got into the car in front of you.
“Prince Leona, welcome back.” A familiar voice spoke up as they shut the door, turning to face the backseat. Leona groaned, sinking into his seat as you leaned over to see Kifaji sitting in front of you. “And Miss Yuu, how lovely to see you again.”
“Hi Kifaji.” You grinned as the car began to move.
“What, you didn’t die while I was gone, ya old bird?” Leona scoffed, sounding more lighthearted than his body language made it seem.
“Not this time, no.” Kifaji huffed, a small smirk on his face. You didn’t get to see much of their casual dynamic last time, both of them posturing slightly for their guests. He turned to you, his smile softening as he did. “Will you be staying with us for the duration of the holiday, Miss Yuu?”
“Unless you kick me out.” You joked with a shrug.
“Let ‘em try.” Leona scoffed, closing his eyes and getting comfortable.
“Excellent!” Kifaji practically beamed at you now that Leona wasn’t paying attention. “A lot of our activities are restricted to indoors, for obvious reasons, but I’m sure we can keep you entertained while you are staying with us.”
“Honestly, anything is better than my previous plan of just trying to keep from starving by myself in the dorms.” You admitted, leaning back to glance out the window at the passing scenery.
“Oh, I’m sure the Headmage wouldn’t allow that to happen.”
“Sounds like you’ve never met Crowley.” You nearly snorted, Leona huffing out a small laugh.
“Didn’t you get him to pay up your last month's allowance that he missed?” Leona asked, eyes still closed.
“Yeah, but then he forgot this month's… again.”
“Shit, Herbivore, you coulda just asked. I’da sent Ruggie with my card to fill your fridge.”
“You did and he did.” You reminded him, poking his arm to emphasize. “But you know his version of payment is a hearty helping of whatever the hell he’s carrying.”
He clicked his tongue, rolling his head towards you and cracking an eye open. “You really gotta learn to speak up.”
“It’ll be fine.” You huffed at him, wedging your fingers between his cheek and the seat to turn his head back towards the roof, making Kifaji laugh. “If it’s not, then I’ll speak up.”
Leona swatted at your hand, sitting upright as the car rolled to a stop in front of the palace. Just as grand as you remembered it. Kifaji quickly got out of the car, opening his umbrella before opening your door and offering you a hand out. Leona didn’t even wait for the attendant to open his door before getting out, stretching as he stood. You took Kifaji’s hand, thanking him as you joined him under his umbrella and closing the door behind you. Before you could even start walking, you were pulled from one umbrella to another, Leona’s hand on your shoulder as he blankly stared at Kifaji. Kifaji just smirked at him before bowing slightly, extending an arm for him to lead the way. Leona clicked his tongue again, rolling his eyes as he pulled you into his side to walk to the palace doors, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. It was cozy tucked into his side like you were, and it didn’t last long. As soon as the two of you were safe under the awning, he dropped his arm and stepped away like nothing had happened. The guards under the awning stood at attention as Leona approached, and he paid them no mind as he flipped the umbrella down to shake the rain off of it before handing it off to an attendant.
“I’m gonna go take a nap,” he directed at Kifaji as he joined you under the awning, “don’t bother me.”
“Leona, we just got here.” You huffed with an amused smirk, crossing your arms at him.
“Yeah, and if I go take a nap now, that means you get to handle all the incessant questioning from Falena and Shani.” He smirked back, poking the middle of your forehead. “You were the one who said they were lovely.”
“Fine. Go nap, but you owe me.” You scoffed, shaking your head fondly.
“Sure, sure.” He waved you off, headed inside as Kifaji sighed from beside you.
“Don’t worry, he’s not exempt from most things while he’s here.” Kifaji assured you in a conspiratorial tone, making you laugh. “I’m sure Prince Leona didn't give you the tour the last time you were here?”
..
While you weren't entirely sure exactly how long Kifaji had been working for the royal family, you were sure he'd been there since Leona and Falena were kids. His tour was both informative and amusing as he added little anecdotes for you about the things they'd get up to when they were little. The tour ended in a familiar hallway, leading to a grand room you’d been in before.
“There she is!” The booming and excited voice nearly gave you deja vu as you turned to see Falena jogging across the large room to greet you, Shani not far behind.
You gave them a wide grin as they approached, Falena’s hand landing on your shoulder as he beamed down at you. “Falena, Shani, it’s good to see you again!”
“Likewise!” Falena’s face looked like it might split with how wide he was smiling as Shani pulled you in for a feather-light hug.
“We’re so glad you could make it.” Shani said warmly, holding your shoulders as she pulled away.
“I’m guessing Leona already went to his room?” Falena asked, rubbing at the back of his head.
“Yes, sire.” Kifaji spoke up from behind you. “Something about... incessant questioning.”
Falena laughed, the booming sound echoing through the chamber as Shani shook her head.
“You’d think he took a plane here the way he rushes to his room every time he arrives.” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest before smiling at you. “No matter, it gives us time to catch up.”
You nodded, smiling back at her before glancing around. “Where’s Cheka this morning? I can’t imagine he has studies this early?”
Shani’s smile turned devious as Falena laughed again, nudging you with his elbow. “I’ll give you three guesses where he’s hiding!”
“Leona’s room?”
“Got it in one!” Falena snickered as you rolled your eyes fondly. “He was so excited to see his uncle, but he knows that he just ends up going to his room right away anyways, so...”
"He's a smart kid, getting ahead of the problem." You chuckled.
"Isn't he?"
..
The conversation screeched to a halt and you all turned as one of the side doors slammed open, watching as Leona carried Cheka into the room by the scruff of his shirt, an annoyed look on his face. Cheka, on the other hand, looked delighted, swinging his legs as they dangled in the air.
“You lost this.” Leona huffed, holding Cheka out for Shani to take.
“I’m too loud!” Cheka announced to his parents proudly as Shani took him into her arms.
“You certainly can be, my heart!” Shani laughed lightly, Falena reaching over to ruffle his son’s hair.
“And here I was trying to be kind and let him nap with me.” Leona’s tone dripped with condescension, crossing his arms over his chest as he sneered at the child.
Falena moved over to his brother, clapping a hand on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around him. “Well, you’re here now then!”
“Yeah, no.” Leona huffed, brushing his brother off of him to turn back towards the door. “It’s too early for this. I’m going back to bed.”
“And abandoning your guest?” Shani smirked at him, making him glance back.
He glanced between you and Shani for a second before shrugging. “Fine, c’mon Herbivore.”
“I thought I was dealing with the incessant questioning?” You asked teasingly, cocking your head at him.
He rolled his eyes before turning back to you. For a moment, you thought he might be relenting, until he grabbed you by the waist and tossed you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, making you yelp. “No, no. Sevens forbid I abandon my guest.” He sneered again, ignoring as you smacked his back.
He ignored as Shani and Falena laughed, headed for the door he’d come through without another word. You could feel how red your face was as you looked up, shrugging at the couple just before he turned the corner down the hall. You recognized the hall he was headed down from last time, and you figured you were correct in thinking he’d dragged you to his room the last time you were here. He entered his room, closing the door behind him before crossing over to his bed, tossing you unceremoniously onto it. Before you could even think to reposition, Leona was flopping down next to you, face buried in the blankets and one arm draped over your stomach.
“Leona—”
“Do I need to kick you out for being too loud?” He stopped you, voice muffled by the soft fabric as he peeked one eye out to look up at you.
“No, but can I at least get comfortable? I still have my shoes on.” You protested quietly.
He sighed heavily before removing his arm from your stomach, allowing you to sit up. You looked around the room as you slowly pulled your shoes off. It looked very much like the rest of the bedrooms you’d seen-- though it was just your guest room and the brief view you’d gotten of Shani’s room the last time you were here-- but it was notably Leona’s. Tapestries on the walls and rugs on the floor that matched his color palette, you recognized a few of the patterns from the fabric the two of you wore for the Cloudcalling festival. There were a few trinkets and books on the dresser, but before you could examine them closer, Leona’s arm was snaking around your waist again. He scooted the two of you up towards the pillows before flopping on his side, pulling you down with him, facing him.
“You can snoop later.” He grumbled, eyes already shut.
It felt all too similar to the position you’d found yourself in the last time you were here, though this was significantly more relaxed. There wasn’t an unspoken tension in the inches of air between the two of you, it was just... calm. You hadn’t been nearly this close to him since the last time you were here. After you got back to Night Raven, he’d put a bit more distance between the two of you. You didn’t question it, figuring he just wanted his own space, but you did miss “keeping watch” during his naps. Now that you had the opportunity, you examined his face. There was a small crease between his eyebrows, something you figured was probably ever-present while he was at home, but despite that, his face was relaxed. Now that his bangs weren’t covering it, you could better see the scar over his left eye. It was deeper than you realized-- one long, thin cut that stopped just below his eyebrow-- and from this close you could see the gap it made in his eyelashes.
“I can feel you staring.” He mumbled without opening his eyes.
“Sorry.” You whispered, though you didn’t relent, eyes drifting over to the barely noticeable dotting of freckles across the bridge of his nose.
You watched his brow furrow a little more before he cracked one eye open to look at you, and you took a moment to admire the bright green. “I thought I wasn’t going to have to kick you out.”
“I’m not being loud.” You shot back in a whisper, a smirk playing at the corners of your lips.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance, rolling his eyes as he did. He grabbed you by the shoulders and yanked you forward into his chest, wrapping his arms around you to keep you there.
“Leona, I can’t breathe!” You laughed, pushing against his stomach as he pressed your face into his shirt.
“Sucks, was nice knowin’ ya.” He shot back, and you could picture the smirk on his face just from the slight upbeat tone of his voice.
It was nice to have him back, if only for two weeks.
I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO USE MY WORK TO TRAIN AI
for years, I've been wanting to write a novel that orbits a particular topic. for years, I've told myself I'm not educated enough on the topic, despite having literally studied it academically, although to an admittedly undergrad level. for years, I have been doing additional research with the eventual endgoal to write this story, and have consistently felt that it Isn't Enough
Someone more confident than me should write a 'Shane gets traded to the Admirals' fic so we can have Scott&Shane friendship and both of them learning from each other and becoming each other's emotional support gay teammate then tag me in it
