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Winter’s Chill, Summer’s Heat

pairing: Steve x OFC, kind of Bucky x OFC

Warning: Bucky is an absolute jackass, Swearing, body image issues.

word count: 8382

summary: Emma Carver is a mutant with the Avengers, crushing hard on Bucky but doesn’t see what’s right in front of her. Which is ironic, because he’s a pretty big dude. It starts with some angst but there’s some fluff in the end.

For @morsmordrethings 1k writing challenge! (Go easy, I haven’t written in like a year.)

She lay on his bed, curled up and holding in her tears. She was sick of sobbing, sick of feeling the skin on her cheeks dry from the salt in her tears. Her dress crinkled with every movement, almost as a reminder of how foolish she felt.

“Stupid,” Emma muttered under her breath, “you’re so stupid.”

Strong, warm arms curled around her again, holding her without comment. She could feel his breath on her shoulder, slow and calm. She closed her eyes again, willing sleep to come and take her away and let her pretend none of that evening, that day or even the last few months had happened.

***** ***** *****

It had all started so well. Tony’s annual Holiday party was days away and she still hadn’t gone out looking for a dress. However, that morning, over breakfast Natasha snorted into her coffee and looked at her.

“I love how you think I hadn’t picked something out for you a month ago.”

“Yeah, I should’ve seen that coming, huh?” she started at Nat.

“No shit,” Nat muttered, draining her cup.

Of course Nat not only knew her measurements but picked out an outfit that would most likely be fabulous. Last year’s 6-hour shopping fiasco was not to be repeated. (It’s not her fault that she hated shopping or that it was difficult to shop with Pepper AND Nat, two women who could wear potato sacks and look glamorous.)

“I should pretend to be surprised, but I think we know I’m not. Can I try it on tonight?” Emma asked, pouring herself more coffee.

“Absolutely not,” Natasha said, spinning around from where she had placed her cup in the sink, “you won’t know until the day of and that’s final. Trust me, you’ll love it.” She left the kitchen with a wink and headed down to the gym for her training.

Emma looked over at Wanda, who shrugged and went back to her tea and toast. Steve was reading the morning paper next to Sam, who was on his phone and Bucky was at the table with a bowl of cereal. Ah, Bucky. Emma looked over at him and gave him a soft smile when he made eye contact, only to have it returned by a small, half smile. Well, ok then she thought to herself. They had danced around each other for months, almost a year. Flirting and stolen glances and one, furtive kiss 4 months ago in a storage room before Bucky had gone on a 2-month long mission and then nothing but light flirting since. Nothing got in the way of a budding romance like their job. She sighed and leaned her elbows on the island, both hands wrapped around her coffee.

Steve looked up from his paper at her sign and watched Emma as she stared into space for a minute. He took in the curve or her jaw and the way her lips turned up just a bit at the corners and had the sudden urge to draw his perfect teammate. Sam nudged him when he stared just a little too long and he rolled his shoulders back just a bit, clearing his throat.

“Got anything planned for today?” Steve asked her.

“Not particularly,” she began, “flight training again at some point, and I need to wrap some presents. How about you?” She turned to Steve and straightened up, leaving her hips to push against the countertop.

“Something similar, I suppose. Tony mentioned that he tweaked the calibration on the weight machines. Feel like seeing who can bench more again?”

“Not again,” Sam groaned. Steve had found Emma Carver at a gym in Boston, conning pretty rich boys out of their trust fund money at weight-lifting contests. Thinking she was getting arrested, she shocked him even more when she literally flew off. Sam chased her down and 4 months later she was part of the team. After Tony bitched about having yet another super powered person in their midst, and after she and Steve broke two weight machines, he designed a set of machines specifically for Steve, Emma, and Bucky.

Emma grinned and nodded before taking a sip of her coffee. Steve smiled back and looked over at the table.

“Buck? You in?”

“Don’t think it’d be fair,” he shrugged, lifting his left arm and flexing his metal fingers around, “but I’ll come down and spot the two of you anyway.”

“Yeah Cap,” Emma giggled, “safety first!”

Sam smirked at Emma when Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve shook his head, “I’ll see you both down there in 30.”

He folded up his paper and got up, nodding at Emma as he walked away from the kitchen and headed back to his room to change. Sam got up behind him and mock saluted Emma, leaving the kitchen to the sound of her laughter. Wanda left soon after and Emma was left alone in the kitchen with Bucky. The silence was deafening.

“So, Bucky,” Emma started, gripping her mug so he couldn’t see her hands tremble, “looking forward to Tony’s party this year?”

“Not really,” he grumbled, “I hate these things. Too many people, and the music is too loud.”

“Oh…” she replied. Emma leaned back on the counter, placed her mug down and propped her chin up with her right hand.

“Got your suit yet?” she began again.

“Yeah, Tony made sure we all had suits. Again.”

Emma blew at a piece of her hair that had fallen over her eyes and fell silent. She stood up and went to turn around when his voice stopped her.

“Heard you didn’t have to pick out your dress this time.”

She turned and smiled at him.

“Nat was kind enough to relieve me of that torture, but I have no idea what it looks like. I don’t even know what my shoes look like, or how I need to do my hair,” she said with a roll of her eyes. She turned back to the counter and rinsed out her mug, never hearing Bucky come up behind her.

“I’m sure you’ll look gorgeous, pretty girl” he murmured, his breath warm on her neck, making her gasp. His arms briefly caged her against the counter and his chest was lightly pressed against her back. She closed her eyes tilted her head slightly but before she could react further, he had placed his finished bowl in the sink and was walking back to his room. She could feel the loss of him immediately and let out a soft sigh, one he probably heard because of his damn super soldier ears. Emma sucked in a deep breath and steeled her shoulders. No better way to get rid of this frustration than to go lift a ridiculous amount of weight and sweat it out. Mainly because drinking was not really an option at 8am.

By the time Emma headed down to the gym, Steve was there and warming up. Luckily, it wasn’t that full for a normal morning, but there were enough people in the gym that she didn’t know to make her rethink agreeing to this. Steve saw her clenching her hands and jogged over to ease her anxiety.

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” he assured her, “Nat is just training some of the lab techs in hand to hand and Bucky & Sam will be with us. I think she’s almost down to just the one girl anyway, ok?” He knew how strangers put Emma on edge. She spent so long on her own, that even with her gifts, other people made her nervous. Plus, with her body type, she got self-conscious. She wasn’t slender like Pepper or petite like Natasha. It didn’t matter that she could throw a Fiat through a wall.

Emma nodded to Steve and rolled her own shoulders back. He smiled and threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in and planting a kiss in her hair.

“That’s my girl,” he grinned. Emma didn’t know what was more surprising, getting called Steve’s girl or the blush that chased the smile on her face. He quickly let go and walked her over to Natasha, where she was down to teaching a lone blonde on the mats across the room. She stopped what she was doing when they walked up, knowing that meeting her pupil would ease Emma’s mind.

“Emma, this is Aimee,” Nat said, gesturing to the tall blonde across from her, “she’s one of the lab techs that they want trained in field work. You just missed Hakim, he’s the other one I’m training.”

The two women smiled and exchanged pleasantries, shaking hands. Aimee grinned at Emma.

“I’ve studied your blood before, you’re amazing” she gushed.

“Thank…you?” Emma laughed.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That was so weird,” Aimee was beet red and slapped a hand over her face, “I work in the genetics department and I’m part of the team that works in conjunction with the med labs. I’ve analyzed your blood a few times. Your powers are amazing, you’re such an inspiration.”

Emma blushed and looked at her in surprise, missing how Steve and Nat watched her with pride.

“Wow, thank you,” Emma stuttered, “That is incredibly kind. I’m really not that special though. I was just born kind of weird and I learned how to make the best of it.”

Steve rolled his eyes at her.

“Ok, well let’s get back to the weights. Don’t want to leave Sam and Bucky waiting.”

Emma nodded and walked back over to the weights near Sam, where he was prepping to help her warmup.

“Bucky Barnes? Like the former Winter Soldier?” Aimee perked up.

“Yeah, he’s over there near Sam,” Nat pointed, “Why, wanna gush about his blood too?”

“Oh no,” Aimee blushed, “I just think he’s really handsome.”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s great,” Steve muttered, “I’ll let you get back to your workout. Nat, Aimee.”

2 hours later Aimee was long gone but Tony, Nat, Thor, and Clint had joined Sam and Bucky to watch Emma and Steve lift increasingly ridiculous amount of weight. Wanda had even wandered in at one point but left to get ready for a lunch date with Vision.

Emma and Steve had decided that the bench press was going to be the decided factor. Both were currently getting ready for their maximum weight yet; 2100 lbs. Thor stood ready to spot Emma and Bucky was behind Steve.

“Whenever you’re ready, kids,” Tony reminded the pair. Emma smirked at Tony and, wiping the small amount of sweat on her brow she repositioned herself under the weight and took a deep breath. She looked over at Steve and nodded. Moving carefully, they both lifted their weights and set them back down once. Then twice. Then again.

“holy shit,” Clint muttered.

Emma looked over to Steve after the 5th rep and neither one looked like they were ready to stop but Emma was getting a bit hungry. Her stomach growling was fucking with her concentration.

“Tie?” she grinned at him.

“Tie,” he grinned back, scooting out from under the bar and sitting up. Emma stood and held her hand out to shake his as the team clapped around them, Thor slapping a massive hand across her back while Clint whistled.

“Well done, Emma!” he bellowed.

She laughed and gave Steve a limp high-five as they both congratulated the other.

“Ok guys, that was fun and all, but I’d like to go eat a whole deli and then sleep,” Emma cut through the group, “Maybe shower first.”

“Shower, then meet in the common room. I’ve got a deli coming in,” Tony smirked at her.

“Tones, I’d hug you but I’m gross,” Emma smiled at him, “See you guys in like 20 minutes!” She and Steve headed toward the doors leading for their showers, joking about using cars next time. Clint wasn’t far behind them, heading for the other showers, debating with Thor whether or not Emma’s powers have a cap on them. The rest of the group filtered out, leaving Sam with Bucky.

“So, Buck,” Sam began, “Are you asking Emma to Tony’s party or not?”

“What?!” Bucky whirled around to face him, “Why would you ask that?”

“Come on man, we all see it,” Sam chided him, “looking at her when she thinks you’re not, the flirting. I even know about the kiss.”

“The kiss never should’ve happened,” Bucky mumbled.

“Wait, what?”

“It never should’ve happened. Come on man. Look at her. Look at me. I don’t belong with someone like her.”

“Buck, man, I thought we had gotten past all this self-loathing bullshit,” Sam started.

“I am past it. This is reality. She’s not the right girl for me. I thought she was but she’s not. I’d drag her down. I thought maybe if I kept trying, things could work but I’m just kidding myself. I can’t give her what she deserves.”

“Ok man,” Sam sighed, “then you had better let her down easy. And soon. That girl is gonna fall for you whether you like it or not.”

“She’s in love with me?” Bucky looked to where you had headed, worry etched across his face.

“Not yet, man. But Emma shows all her emotions, that’s how she is. And you had better fix this quick before it hurts more than it needs to.”

The next couple of days flew by with training and meetings. Everyone was kept busy with one thing or another and Emma barely saw Bucky. She was fairly sure he wasn’t avoiding him, but she couldn’t be certain. She was just as busy as everyone else. Before they knew, it was the day of Tony’s famous (or infamous) Holiday Party. Nat had given Emma enough information about her dress and outfit to get her prep done and that was it. So, at noon, she showed up at Natasha’s door, freshly showered and ready for…whatever Nat had planned for her.

“Hello, little doll,” Nat grinned wickedly at Emma as she opened the door, “are you ready?”

“I mean, I was before you answered the door like Vincent Price,” Emma muttered, letting herself get ushered into the suite. Nat just laughed and shut the door behind her.

“It’s going to be fine, darling,” Wanda called from the bedroom, “I will handle your hair and makeup. You are going to look lovely tonight.”

“I don’t want to seem ungrateful about all of this,” Emma began, “and I know we usually get ready together for these things, but why are you two doing all of this for me? Why is this party so special?”

Natasha and Wanda exchanged a look. Wanda gestured to Nat to say something.

“Honey,” Nat grabbed Emma’s hands, “everyone in this damn place as seen how you and Bucky have looked at each other over the last handful of months. We’ve also seen how he still hasn’t pulled the trigger.”

“Awesome. So not embarrassing at all,” Emma grumbled.

“Sweetie, we think that maybe you should be the one to make a move,” Wanda stepped over, “Maybe not say something directly, but at least make him understand what you want. What better time to do that than at Tony’s party? You can look like a dream and show him another side of you.”

Emma tilted her head and considered what they were saying. They made solid points, but she was looking forward to hanging out with everyone this year.

“Alright, deal. Let’s get me dolled up,” Emma agreed, laughing at Wanda’s small squeal and Nat’s smug face.

A few hours later, Wanda was putting the finishing touches on Emma’s hair when she looked down at her and noticed the crease between her eyes.

“Emma?” she crouched down in front of her, “Darling, what is wrong?”

“What if this doesn’t work out?” she whispered.

“You mean, what if Bucky is a lot more of an idiot that I had realized and rejects you?” Nat asked, peering out at you from the bathroom door. You just nodded slightly, mouth in a tight line.

“Then we stay together, drink, and then I use you as a way to finally get Steve out on the dance floor,” Nat grinned. You and Wanda laughed at that, setting your mind at ease. You should’ve known Nat had a backup plan if things went awry.

You were distracted once again by Wanda, gently taking your face in her hands and turning it to her.

“Natasha, I believe I am finished,” Wanda smiled and took a few steps back, her smile spreading when Nat walked over and linked her arm through hers.

“Perfect,” Nat agreed, “go ahead.” She motioned for Emma to head over to the mirror.

Emma walked over and gasped. Wanda had given her the perfect look. Slight cat eye, contoured cheeks and a beautiful red lip that complimented her skin perfectly.

“Wanda,” Emma said softly, “this is…. Honey, you’ve out-done yourself.”

Wanda beamed and looked over to Nat.

“I believe it’s your turn.”

Nat grinned and spun on her heel, making a beeline for her closet. Emma held her hands hovering over her eyes in anticipation while Nat rummaged around for the shoes.

“Ok, my little doll, are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be!” Emma replied and Wanda giggled.

“Open your eyes, darling,” Wanda whispered in her ear.

Emma lowered her hand and was at a loss for words. Natasha held up a deep green taffeta dress that was somehow modern and classic Dior all in one. The sweetheart neckline draped into an off-the-shoulder look and the hem flared out to about tea length on Emma. She was thrilled. It was the perfect dress and paired with the matching kitten heels in Nat’s other hand Emma was actually giddy.

“Oh girls, I don’t even know what to say,” Emma walked over and gently ran her fingertips over the skirt of the dress, “it’s amazing. Where did you find this? I’ll need to run back to my room really quick though, I’m definitely not wearing the right bra for that!”

“Don’t tell anyone but I enjoy vintage shops. This was an easy find and I had it altered for you. Plus, look! I had them add pockets!” Nat showed her.

The girls laughed and Emma laughed even harder when she turned around to find Wanda already holding up the corset style bra she needed. They absolutely though of everything.

In the ballroom, Steve and Sam were by the bar taking advantage of Tony’s excellent taste in liquor. Sam was getting increasingly agitated. He knew Bucky hadn’t spoken to Emma since the weight-lifting incident and he also knew Bucky was just dumb enough to say something during the party. The more he thought about the more he worried. That’s it, Wilson, you’ve gotta say something.

“Hey, Steve, you got a minute?”

“Sure Sam, what’s…. wow. Oh my god.”

Sam looked up to see Steve completely taken by whatever was over his shoulder. He turned around and smiled. Nat, Emma, and Wanda had made their entrance, but unbeknownst to Emma, Nat and Wanda had drifted off to the sides, giving her a cheesy movie star entrance. Emma stood at the doorway, in her holiday green dress and hair half up and softly curled over one shoulder. Sam looked back to Steve, who was still gazing at Emma with a soft smile slowly appearing on his face. That can be either really good or really bad, Sam thought.

“Think he’s seen Emma yet?” Sam nudged him.

“Think whose seen Emma yet?” Steve replied absentmindedly.

“Bucky. Do you think he has seen Emma. I haven’t even seen him in here,” Sam prodded.

“Oh, um…no. I haven’t seen him yet either. He said he’d meet us here though,” Steve coughed and turned to face the bar. Sam looked at him and smirked.

“You should ask her to dance, man,” he suggested.

“Who? Emma? No, I’m not…. she’s not…There’s no…” Steve sputtered.

“Real smooth, Cap,” Sam nodded, “Get it together though, she’s headed this way.”

Emma walked up to Sam slapping Steve on the back as he coughed.

“Steve! Are you ok?” Emma hurried over, the click of her heels speeding up.

“Yeah, fine, bourbon down the wrong pipe is all,” he choked out, red faced. Emma looked over to Sam, who nodded, holding in a laugh.

“Ok, you had me worried there,” she smiled, “I thought we were gonna break the streak of nobody dying at one of Tony’s parties or something.”

“No, we’re safe,” he coughed again and straightened up.

“You look gorgeous, by the way,” Sam told her.

“Thanks, Sam,” she blushed a bit, “Nat and Wanda handled everything. I just showed up.”

“Yeah, but you are wearing the hell out of that dress,” he grinned at her, taking her hand and giving her a twirl. Her skirt flared out around her and swirled around her legs. Steve watched as Emma laughed and spun around. She looked like something out of his dreams. He waited until Sam was done with her to say something.

“You look stunning, Emma,” Steve said softly, smile growing as she blushed once again.

“Thanks, Steve,” she replied, “I guess I clean up pretty good, huh?”

“Better than good,” he grinned, “you look like a pinup.”

“Please, if you think this is good, you should see the getup I’ve got on underneath all this just to hold everything together,” Emma shot back and immediately slapped a hand over her mouth. Sam burst into laughter as it was now Steve’s turn to blush.

“Sorry!” she squeaked, “I’m sorry, I’m nervous and I may look good but I’m still the same idiot underneath. Just don’t let me accidentally break anything like last year.”

“It’s fine, Em, don’t worry. Now, go mingle. Don’t stand over here the whole night,” Sam nudged her on, “I mean, I’m fine as hell but nobody is saying anything about Steve.”

Emma laughed and gave them both a quick peck on the cheek before she walked off in search of her other teammates. Sam looked over at Steve and picked up his drink from the bar again.

“Something you’d like to share with the class, Cap?” he asked his friend.

“Not really, no,” Steve answered, watching Emma weave her way through the crowd, “you were right though.”

“I usually am. What about this time though?” Sam asked over the rim of his glass.

“I should’ve asked her to dance.”

Emma flitted from group to group, saying hello to a few SHIELD agents she knew and a handful of the medical personnel she had met. She even ran into Aimee and met her girlfriend, a quiet girl from HR named Rosa. She gave Tony and Pepper a quick hug and got a chance to chat for a minute with Bruce. She must have been there for an hour, moving all around the room and there was no sign of Bucky. Emma was getting a little frustrated but decided not to let that get to her. Snatching a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, she sauntered over to where she saw Clint and Nat at the other end of the bar from where Steve and Sam had been.

“Ladies,” she drawled as she slid over next to them, “How are we tonight?”

“Look at this fancy lady right here!” Clint exclaimed.

Emma and at laughed at Clint’s exaggerated wolf whistle and googly eye.

“Aww, Mr. Barton, you just know how to make a girl feel real swell,” Emma twittered, making him laugh into his beer.

“How’s the night so far Em?” Nat asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Silent. Target definitely not acquired,” she grumbled.

“Well that’s bullshit,” Nat retorted, “He’s got to be here somewhere.”

“Girls,” Clint broke in, “target fucking acquired.”

Emma and Nat followed his pointing finger over to the windows, where Bucky was standing alone, nursing a drink. Emma’s jaw dropped a little as his head turned to the side and she got a good look at his jawline. His hair was pulled back at the base of his neck and his tux was deep gray with black accents. Emma was a bit speechless, but she squared her shoulders and glanced at Nat.

“Now or never,” she told her. To her surprise, Nat linked arms with her and steered them toward Bucky.

“Did you think I was going to let you go alone?” she asked her, “I’ve got you.”

The pair headed toward Barnes, unaware at how many people were watching the interaction. Most of the team wanted to see how this would go down.

Bucky glanced up when he realized someone was headed his way and relaxed a fraction when he realized it was only Nat and Emma. The pair looked like the embodiment of Christmas with Nat in her slinky red velvet and Emma in her shimmering green taffeta. Bucky gripped his glass a little tighter when he realized exactly what type of dress Emma had on.

“Hey Barnes, having a good night?” Nat asked him in her smokey voice. She snuck a look at Emma, who had tried to make her face as calm as possible.

“It’s a night” he said through clenched teeth. Nat furrowed her brow in the slightest.

“Barnes?” she asked. He just stared at the floor, gripping his drink.

“Bucky?” Emma asked, stepping forward. She laid a hand on his arm only to have him jerk it away.

“Is this some kind of joke?” he hissed.

“What? I- “Emma stuttered.

“Is. This. A. Joke.” he ground out.

“Barnes, what the fuck is your problem?” Nat snapped at him.

“Do you think it’s funny to taunt me? Dressing like that, in a style I’ll never see in person again. Is that entertaining to you?”

Emma took a step back, stunned while Nat took one forward. Steve had heard Bucky over the crowd and had started to make his way to them, Sam following. Even Clint and Wanda were edging closer.

“Bucky, that’s not at all what this was,” Emma tried to assure him.

“Bullshit,” he spat out, “You’ve got this trumped up idea of me in your head and you’re trying to live out some fucking fantasy with a me that doesn’t even exist anymore.”

“Bucky, what- “

“Get it through your goddamn head, doll,” he sneered, “I’m not that Bucky Barnes. I will never be him again. We will never live out your little domestic fantasy where Emma and Bucky live happily ever after. I don’t want anyone, I don’t need anyone, especially not you. Move on already. Thought you would’ve got the hint by now.”

Emma knew she wasn’t going to be able to keep the tears from falling. She had always kept her heart firmly on her sleeve, but she’d be damned if she let him get in another dig.

“Fuck you, James Buchanan Barnes,” she said quietly, making Bucky’s blood run a little cold. She didn’t yell. She just took a step closer to him and dropped her voice.

“Fuck you. I never wanted you to be that Bucky. I never asked anything from you. Not once. But you can get off your high horse right now, because I don’t recall ever saying that I was in love with you, you arrogant prick,” she took a breath as her voice caught “ and you should count your lucky stars that I don’t toss your dumbass out the window right now because we both know damn well I could. And I’m pretty sure only one of us can fly, James.”

Emma looked into his eyes one more time, so he could see the tears and hurt on her face before she turned on one heel and headed back to the bar where Pepper was waiting with a drink. Natasha gave Bucky one more look before she followed Emma and Steve just watched her go. Sam strode over to Bucky and grabbed his arm, yanking him in close.

“I told you to let her down easy, not break her goddamn heart,” he seethed.

“It had to be done,” Bucky looked at him, “she can’t think there’s a chance. Not ever.”

Sam scoffed and pushed him away, giving him one more look of disgust before walking to find Emma. Steve walked over to his best friend, setting a hand on his shoulder.

“Buck,” Steve began, “what was all that?”

“Leave it, Steve,” Bucky spat out, slamming the rest of his drink and walking away, losing himself in the crowd. Steve watched him walk away, baffled. He started to follow him when he got a glimpse of Emma at the bar with Pepper, Sam, and Tony. His chest tightened like a fist around his heart when he realized she was crying. Before he knew it, he had walked halfway over to her.

Emma downed the three fingers of scotch Pepper had ready for her, relishing the burn. She had heard the raised voices and just knew what would be needed, because she was Pepper Potts. Emma placed the glass down harder than she meant to on the bar, cracking the glass.

“Sorry Tony,” she sighed, “I’ll get you a new set.”

“Don’t worry about it honey,” Pepper reassured her, “It isn’t that important. You are.”

Emma smiled weakly at her and sighed. This was not how she had hoped her night would go, but this even went past her worst-case scenario.

“I guess I completely underestimated what an absolute asshat Bucky Barnes could be,” she sniffled. Nat appeared at her side, seeing red.

“Want me to kill him?” she crooned at her friend. Emma just gave her a watery smile and motioned for the bartender to give her another drink.

“How many people heard?” she asked.

“Well….” Nat began.

“The team, basically,” Clint answered, popping up by Tony, “some lab techs, that weird security guard that smells like peppers, a gaggle of models and a few randos, Ow!” Nat had clipped him in the head.

“Cool, cool,” Emma mumbled, “Hey Tony, can you see if Fury has any openings in like, Antarctica? Anywhere he can use someone with super strength that can fly and is also an absolute dumbass?”

“You’re not going anywhere, kiddo,” Tony reassured her, “And you’re not a dumbass. Literally nobody saw that coming. I don’t know what his problem is, but you did nothing wrong.”

“I agree,” came a deep voice behind Emma. She turned to see Steve, standing a few feet away and looking very sheepish.

“I’m so sorry, Emma, for what he said,” he murmured, “I don’t know where any of it came from. You light up the entire room and any other guy here would be honored to have you on their arm.”

He relaxed a bit when Emma smiled up at him.

“Thank you for that Steve, but you don’t need to apologize for Bucky. You’re not his keeper.”

“I know that, I do,” Steve sighed, “Just, please don’t let his words ruin your night.”

Emma smiled and took one of Steve’s hands in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. Nat smiled at Steve and looked back to Emma.

“Honey, remember the back up plan?” Nat said, laughing when Emma barked out a small laugh.

“I don’t think the whole plan is going to go the way you want,” Emma replied.

Nat just smiled at her. Emma turned back to the bar and leaned into Pepper, not noticing Steve and Nat having a very quiet whispered argument behind them. Tony didn’t miss a thing and was highly amused when it appeared Cap lost the argument and Nat just grinned, smug smile and all. She stalked off to find the DJ. Steve looked back over to Emma to find her laughing again, courtesy of Sam and his incessant, harmless flirting.

“Feeling a little better sweetheart?” Steve asked, placing his hand on her lower back.

“You know, I kind of am,” she answered, “it still hurts that he even thought that about me and I’ll probably cry about it tomorrow, but he can’t ruin tonight any more than he already has, right?”

“No, I don’t see how he could,” Steve admitted, “but I’d like to try and make it a little bit better.” He held out a hand as a slower song began to play. Emma bit back a smile and placed her hand in his, letting him lead her to the dance floor. Pepper and Tony followed while Sam leaned on the bar next to Nat.

“Did your night go as planned?” he asked her.

“Somewhat,” she replied, “I did not expect that reaction from Barnes, but it’s nice to see it end on a better note.”

“How long have you known he has a thing for her?” he prodded.

“Who, our fearless leader? Long enough to do something about it,” she smugly replied. They both turned to look out at the dance floor just in time to see Steve spin Emma out and turn her back into his arms.

“They do look good together,” Sam murmured. Nat hummed in reply. Their peace was broken, however, by Wanda and Clint rushing toward them. The anxiety was coming off Wanda in waves. Nat and Sam looked at each other and headed toward them.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked Clint.

“Get Emma on to the balcony or somewhere else less central, NOW,” he pushed, motioning for the team to do something.

“She can’t see it; you have to move her!” Wanda looked to Nat. Nat looked at her friend, crease in her brows.

“Can’t see what?” Nat asked.

“Too late,” Clint interrupted, looking to the dance floor. Emma stood, frozen next to Steve, both looking off the dance floor over toward the tables in the corner. There, in a chair was Bucky, heavily making out with a tall, curvy blonde model on his lap that had come with somebody’s entourage. Nat quickly looked back to Emma, who hadn’t moved. Nat met Steve’s eye and he nodded, taking a few steps closer to Emma, murmuring something softly to her. Her eyes narrowed and she took a few steps toward him, fists balling and muscles cording in her arms only to stop short, the color draining from her face.

Emma felt her stomach drop at the sound of Bucky’s voice. He was speaking soft, sweet words into that woman’s ear.

“So soft, baby,” he whispered between kisses, “You’re so soft. Like a real woman. Look at these curves.” He was running his hands all over her while Emma was frozen in place.

“James,” the blonde giggled, “you’re so sweet.”

Emma was rooted to the spot until the giggle shocked her out of the fog. Narrowing her eyes at Bucky, she whipped around and stalked back to Steve. Honestly, she was more pissed off at crying again, but this time it cut her to the core. Steve met her halfway and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tight and leading her away from Bucky. He’d deal with his friend later, right now Emma needed him.

“I’m going to kill him,” Nat snarled.

“Get in line,” Sam growled.

Clint watched, silent. Sam and Nat moved to follow Steve as he steered Emma toward the doors, but Clint stood like a sentry with Wanda behind him and watched Bucky. They watched him until Bucky stopped kissing the blonde and they watched Bucky as he spoke to her softly and helped her off his lap. They watched as Bucky walked over to the balcony doors and went outside. Clint turned to Wanda and nodded, heading to find Nat. Wanda went off toward Bucky.

Emma and Steve were far enough away that he could slow down, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. Emma was quiet and Steve’s heart was breaking with every silent tear that dropped from her eyes.

She was lost in her own thoughts. It was as if he knew exactly what to say to hurt her the most. Like he knew, deep down, what she hated most about herself. He knew, no matter what she said differently that sometimes she hated how muscular her arms and shoulders were. That even though she had curves and was feminine, they were harder than other women. That her legs were solid muscle. That her shoulders were broader than Wanda’s or Pepper’s. Sometimes she’d forget that she could fly and lift a truck overhead and that she was a goddamn Avenger. She was back to being that 15-year-old girl in High School that didn’t fit in. She spent all that time learning to love who she was and love her life, and for what? To have a handful of words from a boy tear it all down again.

Emma wasn’t even sure who she was leaning on any more or where they were taking her, all she could feel was the ice in her stomach. She ran her fingers over her stomach and remembered the dress she was wearing and suddenly she not only felt sick again, she felt foolish. He made a fool of her in front of her friends and strangers. She spent all that time getting ready with the girls, laughing and smiling, getting excited over a dress only to have it come crashing down over her head. Emma choked back a sob and let her legs give out for a minute.

Steve just lifted her up bridal style when he felt her legs give out and held her close, getting through to the elevators.

“It’s ok Emma, I’ve got you. Just stay with me, ok?”

Emma nodded and looked up at Steve, finally registering who she was with. She was grateful it was Steve and not Natasha. As much as she loved her friend, she didn’t need to vent or answer questions right now. She just needed silence and the chance to regroup and Steve would give her that.

“Do you want to go back to your room or do you just want to get away from everyone as quick as possible?” Steve murmured in her ear.

“Away, quickly,” she whispered. Steve nodded and turned the corner, leading Emma into his suite, much closer than hers was. He shut the door behind them after he set her down and asked Friday to lock his door, not to let anyone in without Emma’s or his verbal authorization.

Once Emma realized they were alone, and away from the crowd she broke down. She gripped Steve’s arms as she fell to her knees, him sliding down with her while sobs wracked her body. She felt foolish because of Bucky, foolish over how she looked, and foolish that she was crying this much but when someone does something specifically to hurt you twice in one night, it’s bound to sting.

Steve knelt on the floor of his living room with one arm around Emma and the other cradling her head to his chest.

“Shh, sweetheart, it’ll be alright,” he crooned to her, “I’m here, I’m not leaving you. It’ll be alright.”

They sat there on his floor for the better part of an hour before Emma turned her head to look at Steve.

“Thank you,” she croaked.

“You never have to thank me for something like this,” Steve assured her, “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

Emma smiled at him and rested her forehead on his chest for a minute.

“Steve?” she whispered.

“Yes Emma?”

“Can I lay down somewhere?”

Steve stood up slowly, helping Emma up. He waited until she was steady on her feet before he scooped her up bridal style again and carried her to his bedroom. His heartbeat just a bit faster when her arms went around his neck and she curled into him, so he tightened his hold, just a little.

Emma felt Steve tighten his grip on her. She gripped him just as tightly, knowing he would keep her safe. Once they got to his room, he softly laid her down on the bed and then sat at her feet, watching her curl in on herself.

“Emma,” he spoke softly, “I’ll be right out here, ok? I won’t leave the apartment.”

The silence in the room broke his heart for her yet again, because it was killing him to see the strongest woman he knows reduced to tears because of the words of his idiot best friend. Steve stood, and turned toward the door.

“Wait.”

He turned back to her, seeing her pleading eyes look up at him.

“Will you stay with me for a while?”

“I’ll stay as long as you need me,” he replied. Steve crossed the room and climbed into his bed behind Emma. She half turned and grabbed his hand, weaving her fingers with his and wrapping his arm around her. She listened to Steve’s calm breathing and he listened to her berate herself for being the way she was.

And so Emma lay on his bed, curled up and holding in her tears. She was sick of sobbing, sick of feeling the skin on her cheeks dry from the salt in her tears. Her dress crinkled with every movement, almost as a reminder of how foolish she felt.

“Stupid,” Emma muttered under her breath, “you’re so stupid.”

Strong, warm arms curled around her again, holding her without comment. She could feel his breath on her shoulder, slow and calm.

Sleep finally came, heavy and swift and blessing her with a dreamless night. Emma woke the next morning to sunlight streaming in the windows and rolled over, only to find Steve still in the bed with her, loosely holding her hand. He must have gotten up at some point, because her phone was on his nightstand, plugged into a charger and he was only in his suit pants and dress shirt. She remembered it falling from her pocket in his living room, but she just didn’t care at the time. Emma sat up, looking down and realizing she was still in her party dress. Sighing again she glanced over at Steve only to realize he was awake.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” he replied, “Are you alright?”

“Yes?” She answered, “I mean, I’ll be alright. That was just a lot to handle at once, in one night.”

Steve hummed in agreement and lifted himself up on his elbows.

“Natasha dropped off pajamas and clothes for you last night, if you want to shower here. She wasn’t sure what you would feel like doing today. We can always have Friday help sneak you back to your room if you don’t want to…people.”

“I can shower here,” Emma smiled, “and no peopling sounds nice. Could we just hang here, like we did after the mission in Scotland?”

“Absolutely,” Steve sat up, “you get in the shower and I’ll start on breakfast. No wait, we ordered everything the whole day then, didn’t we?”

Emma smiled, remembering how much they ate and how little they did.

“Yes we did, but you don’t have to order coffee this time. It was cold by the time it got here, and your coffee maker is much better now,” she volunteered. Emma stood up off the bed and stretched and Steve couldn’t help but stare at the way her muscles moved in her back. It took all he had not to walk over and place his lips on her shoulders. He wanted to kiss her pain away, but this was no where near the right time. Emma smiled at him over her shoulder and headed to his bathroom.

“Clothes will be on the bed!” he called as he walked out. He heard a faint “thank you!” from his bathroom just before he shut the door. He grabbed the stuff from Nat out of his living room and after dropping it off his bed & grabbing a quick change of clothes for himself, he walked back out to the living room to order the food.

Minutes after the order was placed and Emma was still in the shower, Steve had a soft knock on his door.

“Captain Rogers, Mr. Wilson is requesting entry,” Friday chimed.

“Let him in, Friday,” Steve replied. Sam walked right in as soon as the lock disengaged.

“How is she?”

“She’s in the shower. She slept the whole night and woke up in a better mood than I thought she would. I think we’re going to hole up here all day,” Steve answered.

“Good, she needs that. Nothing coming down the pipe, but I’ll try and see if I can divert any mission where you two aren’t a necessity for the next few days.”

“Thanks, Sam. Heard from Buck?” Steve asked.

“I haven’t but Wanda spoke to him and then went to her room pretty upset last night. And then Nat ripped him a new one this morning over coffee. Surprised you didn’t hear it.”

“I soundproofed the room during that particular argument, Captain Rogers. I didn’t want to cause Miss Carver any further stress,” Friday chimed.

“Thanks Friday,” Steve answered, “Was it bad, Sam?”

“He just sat there and took it. Didn’t argue, just stared at the counter in front of him and then went to the gym as soon as she finished,” Sam noted.

“Alright,” Steve mused, “keep an eye on him. That seems odd and I don’t want him backsliding. Ask Clint to keep an eye on her and you should check on Wanda.”

“Think he said something to her too?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore, but you know how much of an empath she can be. Somebody should check on her so she isn’t beating herself up about any of this. She helped Emma get ready, she’s probably trying to take some of the blame, not that there is any to begin with.”

“Got it, I’ll check in later,” Sam gave Steve a quick nod and left the apartment.

Not long after, Steve was setting out the breakfast order on his table and waiting for the coffee to finish brewing when Emma walked out of his bedroom in her sushi-print leggings and her favorite shirt. Steve groaned when he saw it.

“Really, that’s the shirt Nat dropped off?”

“Of course she did! It’s my favorite shirt!” Emma grinned, looking down at the giant red white and blue popsicle on her shirt, holding a shield exactly like Steve’s. The word ‘Capsicle’ was written across the bottom in a script font.

“Of course it is,” Steve grumbled. He looked back over to her to see the smile start to slip, just a bit.

“Hey, sweetheart, come here,” he stood and held his arms out. Emma walked over and buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“This sucks, Steve,” she mumbled into his shirt.

“I know, honey, I know,” he replied. They stood like that for a minute until the rumble from Emma’s stomach got too loud and they both laughed. They gathered their food and headed over his couch and sat down.

“Plan for today?” she asked Steve.

“Eat and do nothing,” he replied.

“Perfect,” she nodded, turning on the TV.

After a long discussion where Emma seriously mentioned transferring somewhere else and Steve rejected that idea multiple times, they decided to utilize Friday so Emma could avoid Bucky for a while. Steve convinced her not to run from the whole situation, but he agreed that confronting it right away would do more damage than not. Emma ended up sleeping in Steve’s bed again that night, it was just easier. He didn’t complain and was happy to just wake up holding her hand again. Emma ended up sleeping in Steve’s bed so often that she kept a spare toothbrush in his bathroom. She felt safe there, waking up next to him, knowing he was there in the middle of the night. It made her start to wonder if her idea of what love was had been wrong all along.

***** ***** *****

Wanda and Sam sat in the café, both nursing a latte. Sam mulled over what Wanda had told him and what she had picked up.

“You’re sure?” he asked.

“I am certain. Bucky didn’t mean any of the things he said, for the most part. He twisted the meanings so it was truth but not truth. He thinks Emma deserves better than him and she should not be ‘stuck’ with his problems.”

Sam sipped his coffee and looked over at Wanda.

“And what did you feel? I know you pick up things occasionally, if we’re broadcasting loud enough.”

“He believes it, he was telling the truth. But I do not think he felt a deep, true love for our Emma. He cares for her, but he was afraid for it to progress further, for either of them. He pushes love away because he believes he will destroy it.”

“Jesus,” Sam muttered.

***** ***** *****

It was slow going, but eventually everyone could be in the same room at the same time without Steve wondering if Emma was gonna make good on that threat to launch Bucky through a window. Things were slowly back to normal and Emma had her spark back. She challenged Steve to weight-lifting contests, she flew around with Tony and Sam. She even began to speak to Bucky again, if only to be civil. Emma felt like she was herself again and couldn’t be happier until Steve knocked on her door one Thursday afternoon.

“Steve, Hi! I was just thinking about you,” Emma smiled.

“Emma I- wait, you were?” he stuttered.

“Yeah! I found a documentary you might like, and I was going to have Friday add it to your queue.”

“Thanks, Emma, that’s really thoughtful,” Steve blushed a little and smiled.

“What’s going on though, do you need me for something?” she asked.

“Well, yes actually, I do,” he took a deep breath, ok Rogers, you can do this. You’ve punched Hitler in the face over 200 times.

“Emma Carver, can I take you out to dinner?”

“I would absolutely love that,” she beamed.

“Oh, thank god because then this next part would be really awkward,” Steve grinned.

“What partmmph!” Emma cut off as Steve leaned in and kissed her. She smiled against his lips and just knew, this was it. Everything was going to be alright. Love wasn’t cold like winter; it was warm like summer.

#i'm really rusty

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