#i'm sleepy...

[milkbreadtoast]

more suit studies ft. kim soleum... (+ doodles)

[larkspurhoney]

Need to hug him and bury my face on his chest and breathe him in and bite h

[mobthoughts]

thank god muffet is the last encounter for the night, i'm almost blacking out here

[haichii]

A little sketch of a panel from the manga, I'll probably never finish it...

[kazewhara]

"victor mare is right there... oh, and there's vago mundo!"

kazuha leans on the crow's nest and props his chin in his hand as you point out constellations overhead. you thought that you were going to admire night sky in silence by yourself, but tonight, kazuha decided to keep you company. he reasoned that the night was young, and that the sky was too beautiful to be appreciated by oneself. "and who better to experience this with than you?" he'd said.

you should be used to it by now -- him saying things like that. kazuha often says that he prefers to experience certain things with you and you only. it could be a firework show or a gorgeous sunset, and kazuha would always turn to you and say that he's glad he got to see it with you. why you specifically, you'll probably never know. all you know is that every time -- every single time -- it makes your heart skip a beat.

...or two. sometimes, when he says it, you delude yourself into thinking that he likes more than just the scenery.

but that can't be right, you tell yourself. you fall silent as your thoughts start to wander, and you lower your hand slowly. suddenly, it feels like the stars aren't as bright as they usually are.

kazuha looks at you and furrows his brows. "are you alright?" he asks. he must be worried about you. for some reason, that makes your stomach tighten. "you got quiet all of a sudden."

"hm? yeah, i'm okay." you half-lie. truthfully, you're not sure if you're alright or not. it's not a very good time for these thoughts, but you can't help but wonder why kazuha spends so much time with you. you don't know when it even started, much less why. so, you mirror his expression and face him. "hey, can i ask you something?"

"of course," he nods. "anything."

you wince. whenever he says stuff like that, it makes you feel like he... cares about you. cares more than he should, anyways -- cares in the way you care for him. "why are you here?" you dive headfirst into the problem, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"pardon?"

"why are you up here with me? why do you ever come up here with me?"

kazuha straightens. "does my being here bother you?" he sounds.. hurt? "i can leave if you'd like..."

anything but that. you shake your head. "no, no, that's not why i'm asking." how do you even phrase this without giving yourself away? you sigh. "i'm just curious. why do you... i don't know. why do you spend time with me like this?"

"am i not supposed to spend time with a close friend?" kazuha leans on the mast and folds his arms over his chest. he regards you closely -- maybe too closely. it's like he's trying to read you. you step back subtly, putting a little more distance between the two of you.

"you consider me a close friend?" the question slips out of your mouth before you can stop it. you never called kazuha anything more than a friend before, mostly for your sanity. it made your situation just a little more tolerable; it kept you from crossing a line. but to hear him say that you two are close friends -- you two have an actual bond that he treasures -- you can't help the way your pulse picks up speed.

but only after a few beats of silence do you realize how hopeful you sounded just now. your face burns as you try to cover up your mistake. "i-- when did you make that decision without me?" you try to joke. kazuha's a smart guy -- he definitely picked up on that just now. you battle the urge to throw yourself over the side. "i don't get a say in this anymore?"

kazuha still says nothing, his eyes still fixed on your face. you hate when he does this -- when he reads you without your consent. then, he finally speaks, "was that wrong of me?"

thankfully, there's a lilt in his tone. you pounce on it, grateful that he's not commenting on your little slip up. "i'd appreciate it if you informed me before you go about making decisions on our relationship." you puff a quiet laugh and lean your back on the railing. crisis averted, you think as you turn your eyes to the sky. "you still didn't answer my question, by the way."

you can't see him, but you hear him. kazuha steps closer to you, but you don't look at him just yet. maybe he just noticed how far away you seemed, is all. "if you must know," he says, his voice soft, "i join you up here because you're so passionate about the stars."

of course that would be all. why did you even bother asking? he's told you more than once that he likes when you tell him about the stars. you hum, hoping your disappointment isn't obvious. "is that right?"

"but if you're asking why i insist on accompanying you specifically..." you hear kazuha take another step towards you. "...then i'm going to have to ask you a question in return."

you look down to face him and startle when you see just how close he is. you think you're going crazy; he's the same distance away from you as he was before, but the way he's looking at you makes you feel like he's examining you from up close. "stop looking at me like that." you jab playfully. "but okay, what's your question?"

"alright," kazuha chuckles. "my question is: if i were to attempt to... edit our relationship, would you be opposed to it?"

you blink and laugh a little, confused. "uh, no, i guess? how are you 'editing' it, exactly?"

kazuha takes another step forward and this time, you startle for real. the crow's nest isn't a very big space; even if you wanted to try and escape this situation, you couldn't. the only way out of this is to launch yourself over the side and when you see his eyes soften, you consider the pros and cons of doing so.

"if i... were to tell you that i'm in love with you," kazuha's voice is soft. always so soft, so delicate with his words. "what would your response be?"

when your heart stops this time, you worry that it won't start again. it does, thankfully, but you're left breathless, struggling to comprehend his confession. say something, you kick yourself mentally. this is it! this is what you've been waiting for! tell him you love him too! but you're so shell-shocked that the words get jumbled in your mind, so much so that you nearly lose them entirely.

"i, um..." you flounder. it's now or never. "i would... tell you that the feeling is mutual."

it's not exactly how you imagined your confession would go, but kazuha visibly brightens at your words. "i see." he seems to be fighting back a smile, biting at the inside of his cheek. "then would you be alright if we became lovers instead?"

this is definitely not how you pictured this moment would go. you always thought it would be some heartfelt moment on a grassy hilltop in liyue as the sun set behind the two of you. instead, you're in the crow's nest of the alcor beneath a starry sky, the sound of the ocean lapping at the ship ringing in your ears despite how far it is from you.

you wouldn't have it any other way.

"i'd love that." unlike kazuha, you don't fight your smile. you must look like a fool, finally smiling at him with all the love you've had stored up for four months, but he doesn't mind. he actually steps even closer to you and brings his hands up to cup your face.

autumn eyes gaze into your own, and you melt. kazuha murmurs, "i have one more question, if you'll allow it."

"of course," you mirror his earlier words. "i'll allow anything."

kazuha leans in close, his lips brushing yours. he's impatient. "may i kiss you?"

"yes--" you barely manage to get your answer out before kazuha's lips cover your own. your eyes slip shut and you sigh into the kiss, bringing a hand up to grab at his clothing. he tilts his head and you step closer, removing any remaining distance between the two of you. and when he murmurs a soft "i love you" into the kiss, you think that no star in the sky can shine as bright as the ones you see behind your eyelids.

[midnight-arcade-art]

A fire spirit for @sundaesweets for the CAD server’s Halloween secret santa.

[kikuism]

index, author, bibliophile, prologue, manuscript, epeolatry, appendix 📕📗📘📚

Index: What book character would you like as your best friend?

so this isn’t a character, but a group of them....i would love to hang out with the carry on trio especially during their road trip in america in wayward son 🥺 that would be so much fun!

also.....patroclus 🥺💕 i was trying to think of a gentle character to match my own demeanor and realized i don’t actually know a lot of book characters like that? then i remembered him and...we could spend a cozy afternoon together discussing books and walking in a garden. 

Author: What is a book you really regret buying?

god. okay....so in 2014 i bought this book called hungry and it was this dystopian world where food doesn’t exist anymore???? like. food is illegal or something. i mean, just look at this synopsis....

In the future, food is no longer necessary—until Thalia begins to feel something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. She’s hungry. In Thalia’s world, there is no need for food—everyone takes medication (or “inocs”) to ward off hunger. It should mean there is no more famine, no more obesity, no more food-related illnesses, and no more war. At least that's what her parents, who work for the company that developed the inocs, say. But when Thalia meets a boy who is part of an underground movement to bring food back, she realizes that most people live a life much different from hers. Worse, Thalia is starting to feel hunger, and so is he—the inocs aren’t working. Together they set out to find the only thing that will quell their hunger: real food.

hello???? i’m so glad the dystopian trend has died down bc i’m pretty sure i’ve read them all at this point. and i actually finished the whole book.....that’s time i’ll never get back.

Bibliophile: What popular book series haven’t you read yet?

ohh a lot! i haven’t read the lunar chronicles, the narnia series, the infernal devices, shatter me, his dark materials....off the top of my head.

Prologue: What is a book that hasn’t been released that you want to read?

return of the thief by megan whalen turner!!!!!! i’m so excited and scared for this final book. i can’t imagine what long-time fans of the series must be feeling....i’ve only had these books in my life for a month but i’m so ready for october 6th....so close omg 🥺

Manuscript: What is a book you want to read but are intimidated by?

hmm...i would say priory of the orange tree. it has excellent reviews but it’s also thick as a brick and that scares me. and since it’s a stand-alone, i know there’s going to be a lot of worldbuilding and that’s kind of overwhelming since i like knowing about these things over the course of a few books. it just seems like a lot and i’m kind of intimated by that ....

Epeolatry: What is your favorite book quote?

ohhh i have way too many to list here, but i can give one random one: “You cannot love and be immortal.” it’s from the winternight trilogy and it gives me chills and a twinge of longing and sorrow...❄💕 it also gives me vibes for the vampire au 😭

Appendix: Overdone book trope that you still love?

i have way too many but here’s one: i don’t know if it’s overdone or not but i’m so weak for when a character is patching up another one and neither are speaking and there’s this ~tension~ between them and then one is bandaging the other and their fingers brush against their skin and i burst into flames 

oh another one: i really love stoic characters with soft hearts 🥺 it’s such a trope, i know, but i will eat it up every time, i’m so weak for those kinds of characters...

[keygen]

I’m gonna go lie down and play theatrythm a bit and try to get a bit more sleep

be good y’all