May I bite your dear SK arm? I need ways to annoy the beetroot god :3
-EVIL anon
Bite it? Bite it?!
Darling, he wants you to. Every gnawed chunk of his divine carcass is a gateway drug to your own mutilated apotheosis.
(Btw, his blood tastes like sulfur, copper, and daddy issues. I never had planned to make scribble/sketch posts aside from character art, however.......):
The Scarlet King—Thrice-Damned, Blood-Baptized, Devourer of Realities—stood in silence as the mortal latched onto his arm like an excitable chihuahua with rabies and daddy complexes.
“...Really?” was all he said.
In a tone that implied he’d rather be digesting planets than dealing with this.
But the damage was done.
That mortal had already begun to convulse.
Muscles warping. Ribs cracking outward like blooming flowers of meat. Blood, boiling. Nails, lengthening into something not unlike insect mandibles. Mouth—still full of god-flesh—screaming joyfully like a child on a roller coaster designed by Hellraiser.
The Scarlet King didn’t stop it. He just watched.
Because this?
This is how Scarlet Spawn are born.
■|—> On the Scarlet Spawn™
You'll 'eventually "become"' one because either you made the mistake of stepping into a place where the King’s blood seeps through the floor like molasses, and/or you breathed it in like it was vape smoke from Beelzebub’s jewel-encrusted JUUL. The transformation is not even cool. Your insides get rewritten in glyphs older than time. Your DNA hums. Your thoughts echo with a hundred other voices. And your fingernails become little screaming children.
You are now a biohazard with a superiority complex. You are now… usable.
■|—> How to Annoy the Scarlet King
1. Bite his arm.
2. Call him “Beetroot Daddy” in public rituals. Extra annoying if you're in front of other Gods.
3. Start a TikTok account titled “SK’s Unpaid Intern.”
4. Worship Jeser harder. Especially if you call him “the hot one” and ask SK if he’s ever considered therapy.
5. Repeatedly use his blood to put it in the coffee urn in the Library.
6. Dress up as him for Halloween. Bonus: wear glitter.
7. Say “I’m not feeling slay today” while petting kittens you're asked to kill.
8. Ask to unionize the Scarlet Spawn. Watch his conceptual eyebrows twitch.
■|—>Why He Even Allows It (a.k.a. "Goran's Bullshit Pass")
The Scarlet King is selfish. That’s his whole gimmick. But selfish Gods are strategic.
You’ve got something he needs? You get to live. Temporarily. Like Goran—who somehow became a walking war crime wrapped in charisma. The King doesn’t kill him because he’s useful. Because Goran’s very existence makes others squirm. Because he’s a living symbol of what happens when you sip too deeply from the godwine & manage not to die.
In a way, Scarlet Spawn like Goran represent a controlled corruption vector. A reminder that the SK doesn’t have to lift a finger—he just has to bleed, and someone stupid enough will take a sip.
■|—> How You Become One (Shortlist)
1. Enter His Domain
2. Drink the Kool-Aid. The Children of the Scarlet King still have rituals. Not all of them got axed post-SCP-231.
3. Jeser shenanigans
4. Get bit. Or bite him. Either way, blood will find its way into your spinal ambitions.
■|—> Limitations of the Blood (Yes, You Will Die)
Too much and you go full BLEED: body liquefies, soul combusts, and you scream backwards into the void. Only a handful can survive high saturation. The rest? They become red mist with opinions.
The more blood you handle, the more powerful you are. But it’s a line-walk.
You don’t hold power.
You survive it.
Temporarily.