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Merl-anguage am experimenting so please let me know what yall think!

#writing #poetry #rejects corner #spilled ink #colonialism #identity project

Identity Project Artwork

Identity Project - Artist Statement

When it comes to identity, there are a lot of different definitions or ways to interpret it. I have chosen to explore aspects of myself that make up my identity. One of the biggest aspect of my personality are my scars and the trauma related to them. To represent myself, I have created a smaller, doll version out of myself. Using embroidery thread, I have outline my large and small scars so that they will be more visible. The reason I am doing this is to help me work through the trauma related to these scars in a constructive way.

I am using the Tatina doll pattern from Introduction to Making Cloth Dolls by Jan Horrox. The doll is made of a beige cotton fabric, sewn with all-purpose polyester thread, the face is painted with acrylic paint, the hair is made from brown acrylic yarn, the scars are embroidered with a pale pink and purple embroidery thread, and the clothes are made with cotton buffalo plaid fabric, metal snaps, buttons, and embroidery thread. The whole project is hand sewn.

The reason why these scars are important to me is because every mark on my skin tells a story. Sometimes the stories are happy and something they are sad. For example, I was able to undergo a breast reduction surgery in 2019 after years of building a case with my doctor. After the surgery, I experienced many complications including my body rejecting the internal stitches and I was quite literally falling apart. It took another surgery and multiple months of pain and recovery and I have the scars to prove it. Smaller scars show parts of my childhood that are less happy. Like the scar on my lip from when I busted it as a toddler, or the horse fly bite on my arm that was actually a cigarette burn from my father.

This is my first time making a complete doll. In the past, I have made dolls using premade bases and premade clothing. I really am pushy myself for this project in ways that I haven’t before. I am making mistakes, but that is all part of the process. As a whole, I think that I did a good job for my first attempt.

#identity project

Identity Proposal

Each project begins with a proposal/statement of intent. Your statement should be a short declarative description of what you intend to do for the project. In your description, you should include details of the intended FORM, PROCESS, and CONTENT of the project. Your statement should be at least 2 paragraphs long.

For my Identity project I will be creating a small doll version of myself and showing my different scars and working through the trauma of them. The form would be a cloth doll with fabric clothing that can be removed. The doll itself will be around 26″ long based on the pattern I am using. The materials are cotton fabrics, embroidery thread, thread, paint, and acrylic yarn (Possibly the incorporation of wire to create stability). It is going to look like a stylized version of myself but obviously not exactly a self portrait. It can be displayed like a doll in a in a box, or like an anatomical display (laying down with the clothes removed.

I will be making a piece using a pattern from Introduction to Making Cloth Dolls by Jan Horrox as the base. I chose the Tatiana pattern because it includes a bust to the doll which would be an important feature since I want to include my breast reduction scars. I will also be making clothes in a style that I usually wear (flannel shirt, t-shirt, leggings, socks).

My intended meaning is a therapeutic way for me to work through my scars since many of these are sources of trauma for me (physically and emotionally). The form itself is meant to show how society can see women as weak and soft dolls that are meant to be protected and even still these girls are let down.

#Identity Project

Identity Project Ideas

Submit 3 project ideas responding to the project theme (TIME). Each idea should be a paragraph (~5 sentences) in length and should detail the form (what will it be made of? what will it look like?), process (how will you make it?), and content (what will it mean/signify/represent/be about?) of your proposed project. Sketches are encouraged.

1. My first idea would be creating a self portrait of myself out of a cloth doll. My main goal is to detail all of my scars (self-inflicted, surgery, or other). The focus would to help me normalize them and work through them in a constructive way. I might go with a Coraline-like approach, it depends how far into the process I can get.

2. The second plan would be to draw out every single social role I have and give them names. For example, there’s academic Kenzie, or with friends Kenzie. Basically to create a character based on the role. We all have different roles/personalities that we have in different circles. It might also be interesting to create a video of me layering them together to create myself (with some movie magic). I might use alcohol markers with this since I have enjoyed using them so much lately.

3. The third plan would be to create to different self portraits or myself - a happy version and a sad version. This would be to show that a smile on the outside doesn’t always reach the inside and a lot can be hidden behind a happy face. There isn’t much to this one, it’s just a simplified version of the second option.