#identity thoughts

[snepril]

You can just be a girl if you want. Or a guy. Or neither. Or both. You can be a cat or a dog or a dragon or a fox. You can be a creature or a thing or whatever you feel like on any given day. Your identity is yours. Nobody gets to decide who or what you are but you. And sure, changing your physical body is hard. Sometimes physically being what you feel inside isn't achievable. Sometimes it is. That doesn't change who you are. That doesn't make the happiness you feel when you say "I'm X" any less real. It doesn't make that deep longing in your soul go away. And that doesn't mean there aren't ways to be more comfortable, to get closer to the you you want to be.

So be yourself, no matter how weird that person is. Because real, honest happiness is too rare to pass up on just because some people might think it's strange. And believe me - there are more people out there willing to celebrate the real you than you ever imagined. All it takes is deciding to be you.

[thatjellywalker]

I've been thinking for like a whole month now and

I know I'm definitely a girl, but I still feel like I'm out of the girl/boy binary entirely and I don't really know what to make of this nagging thought in the back of my head

[squuote]

might try out xe/xem pronouns 👉👈

[snepril]

I'm a trans woman and I'm otherkin. Both labels describe parts of me, but neither describes all of me. Yet at the same time, they're both closely intertwined, both key parts of my discovery of who I am - and both more alike than one might expect.

I knew I wasn't supposed to be a guy. Even from a young age, I was drawn to feminine things. I wanted to be a girl - I just didn't have the words to say it, didn't understand why I felt the way I did. And as I grew older, that feeling crystalized. I tried to deny it, to pretend it didn't matter. Besides, it was never the conventional picture of dysphoria - I could manage being a guy. It was tolerable. That was enough, right?

But it wasn't what I wanted. I knew I'd be happier as a woman - I knew it with a certainty and clarity I could never put to words. I knew, and the moment I realized there was a path forward, a way to be who I knew I wanted to be, I took it. I transitioned. It cost me a lot - my home, my years spent in college, my friends and stability - and it was all worth it. Having that weight off my chest, getting to live as who I always wanted to be... it made everything else so much easier. It's like a good night's sleep - sure, you can manage without for a while, but it saps your strength, makes everything else so much harder.

But as I transitioned, as I embraced my life as a woman, I realized... I wasn't quite where I wanted to be. I was closer - so much closer - but I wasn't there yet. There were a lot of little things I wanted to change about myself... and one big one.

I wanted to be something other than human.

At first I denied it, pretended it didn't matter. I had done so many things I'd never thought possible - I'd transitioned, I had a good job and was living on my own. I had good friends and the freedom to steer my own life. Wasn't that enough?

And those words were familiar. The feeling was familiar. It didn't take me long to put two and two together. And when, one day, an impulse art commission gave me my first ever picture of myself as a sphinx...

...I knew. I knew that this feeling was the exact same one that drove me to transition. I knew denying it would work about as well as denying that I'm a woman. So I decided not to. I decided to accept who I am.

I'm a woman, and I'm a sphinx. I'm transgender, and I'm otherkin.

Otherkin. Somehow, it's an even more loaded word than transgender. It implies so much, and that made it harder to accept. I don't believe in other realities or reincarnation. I don't believe I was a sphinx in a past life or other world - I'm really not spiritual at all. So how can I call myself a sphinx if, objectively, I know I've got the body of a plain old human?

The same way I knew I was a woman.

I'm not ignorant of my biology. I know what's coded into my DNA and what my body is shaped like. But why should any of that have any say on who I am? I'm more than my body, more than the chance outcome of genetics and evolution. I get to decide who I am - and I choose to be a woman, and I choose to be a sphinx. Why? Because it makes me happy. Because it feels right. Because it's my life to live and I get to live it how I want, so long as that doesn't hurt anyone else. Sure, I can't transition to be a sphinx in real life (not with modern technology, anyway), but when has an inability to transition ever made anyone's identity any less valid? I'll do what I can to make my body more comfortable and live with the rest, because the alternative - pretending what I feel doesn't matter - isn't living.

I'm a transgender woman.

I'm an otherkin sphinx.

And I'm happy.

[thatjellywalker]

My brain has been doing some really interesting things recently ngl

For whatever reason I've been cycling through several different things that I feel like and it's kinda fun actually. Of course there's the occasional skunk girl and dragon girl thoughts (I've actually been thinking more about poison dragons lately) but I've really been feeling demonic, too (mainly a fire demon). Sometimes I think of myself as a corpse flower (specifically the Amorphophallus Titanum!) and I've also been intrigued by stuff like swamp/bog witches and poisons and biohazardous stuff in general

What's funny about all of this is that most of these have something to do with fire/heat. What's funnier is that all of them stink in a way. Skunk spray is a given and at least coming from what I understand some demons, especially fire demons, are known to reek of sulphur. Corpse flowers heat themselves up to spread their stink to attract flies and pollinators, and my draconic nature kinda ties in to my demonic side. The thing is I have no idea why this is, my brain is wired kinda funny when it comes to things that stink but I never thought it'd be so prevalent that it literally defines me

I'm not mad about this actually, in fact I fucking love it! I knew that there was some type of pattern but Idk I was hoping for the longest time this wasn't it... But hey thinking about it, a morbid fascination for the scent of danger, death, rot, and decay never hurt anyone at the end of the day eh?

[strangelavendersewing]

So because internet I got exposed enough to identity words and for a while I thought heavily about it bisexuality fit and do trans people only want to be the gender stereotype, because that’s not a good thing to do

Bear in mind I’m never gonna go beyond talking and thinking about this stuff, but at the moment I’d say I’m demisexual because while I do want physical contact it makes me feel very vulnerable, so I’d have to trust the person first and gender is somewhere between woman and wtf do you mean by that. I never wanted to be the stereotype and I suppose I do identify as a woman so meh whatever

Does this matter to anyone? Nope but it’s a calming feeling to know for yourself and that’s enough reason

Also the acronym for alphabet maffia is too long so you guys are the rainbow people group and maybe I’m part of it but it doesn’t really matter since the dating I’m likely to do in my life fits the cultural norms

[sureben]

Just wanted to let y’all know that after months of mental monolgoues, I am identifying as nonbinary 👉👈 not sure if that’ll change in the future but for now this feels right🥰 preferred pronouns are he/they (but I’m fine with any pronoun tbh). I am still very much confused internally but here’s to the journey of self discovery!

Himbo/Thembo Ben signing off👉👈

[lord-owlsnake]

im still a very confused child 

i dont feel like a girl at all but im alright with still wearing some girl clothes and stuff but i hate my boobs and want them destroyed

being called ‘she’ doesnt bother me too much but i do get excited/happy when people mistake me for a guy

i still dont know what’s up im still lost i guess