#identity tw

[localchaosbastard]

The Mask

Sometimes..sometimes, a mask is all you have. That’s all that represents you, that’s all keeping a smile on your face. Sometimes? It even affects your appearance. That’s how it is for me. Multiple masks of multiple people that multiply constantly the more series I see, the more little fun things I learn or know about.

I don’t have a true form. I’ve never had one.

I simply keep speaking and acting and moving around. Sometimes under the guise of The Hermit, flowing orange hair with that green jacket. Sometimes under the guise of The Broken, saying his lime greetings and speaking about his great little punch out game. Sometimes under the guise of The Witch, her bubbly happiness and her wistful mind turning to constant and devastating anger.

I don’t have a true form.

[lcstrega]

"What... are you, really?"

The question went over her like mist rolling off a mountain, pooling and all consuming ; what was she?

She'd looked over her shoulder to the other, the light in his eye like the mirror that taunted her with the same question centuries ago. Like a wild beast presented with its own reflection, something broke inside when she had to look into her own eyes and bludgeon the identity into her skull. She'd tried it all ; clawing her face away until muscle glistened in the candlelight, ripping away her hair, screaming just to see if the sound truly came from her throat. She didn't recognize the grown woman who looked too much like the mother that had given her away, eyes too much like the father that helped.

All she saw when she looked into the mirror was a leftover pile of a young girl's humanity, cruelly shaped into nothing more than a monster's flesh starved plaything. Inescapable, despite it all. Inescapable, despite a sea of time between rebirth.

Memory made her feel sick, and she had to pull herself back to the present.

❛ There's no word that comes to mind. ❜ She was careful with her speech, hesitant to be defined, even in her own terms, ❛ A parasitic chimera of people I've pieced together, perhaps. Hungry. Lost. I arrive only at my name, and am equally dissatisfied with such an answer as you may be, caro ragazzo. ❜

[courtofmuses-archive]

Gender identity is such an interesting thing. I’ve never felt comfortable with labels or fitting myself into a neat little box. About 70% of the time I feel like a woman, and the other 30% of the time I don’t. I use she/her pronouns in my daily life because it’s just easier than trying to explain things to people (i.e. family/co-workers) and that doesn’t bother me. I don’t have dysphoria over it. 

So genderfluid is probably the label I identify with the most, which I guess falls under the trans umbrella from what I understand. 

Just something I’ve been thinking about the past couple of years.

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

So I saw you answer an ask about something similar but... I'm a female (virgin) and always thought I was straight. I can appreciate the beauty of men and women and sometimes think about kissing and cuddling women, but never think of having sex with one. Men are my go-to in the sex imagination department, if that makes sense... I've spoken with a bi friend about it and they thought I might be bi, and there was something I read that suggests I cud be bi (robyn ochs) but I'm generally just confused

There are five different types of attraction. Sexual, sensual, romantic, platonic, and aesthetic. You can feel any number of these toward any person you meet, but let’s break down what they mean real quick.

Sexual: You want to have sexual contact with someone.Sensual: You want to have physical contact with someone. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, kissing. This category, I believe, is multifaceted and can fall under romantic or platonic respectively. For instance, you want a different kind of sensual contact with your mother than you do your significant other. Romantic: Romantic feelings are a bit complicated, because everyone feels differently about romance in general, but taking care of someone, wanting to spend your life with them, going on dates, buying gifts for them, reading to them, etc etc. Platonic: The feeling you have for friends and family.Aesthetic: Finding someone attractive. 

You can feel two of these at once for someone. I’m platonically and sensually attracted to my mother. I’m aesthetically and platonically attracted to many of my friends. I’m only aesthetically attracted to the stranger I met on the street yesterday. You see?

You can be sexually attracted to someone, but not platonically. Or even romantically. You can be romantically attracted to someone, but not sensually. All sorts of combinations, dude.

That being said, you may be bisexual. Or you may be a biromantic heterosexual. Or you may just be sensually attracted to some women. The only person who knows is you, and you’ll know when you learn more about yourself. Don’t stress over it too much. What will be will be. Just go with your feelings and your identity will follow. 

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Hi Kelley I need some advice. I'm struggling a lot with my sexuality and how I want to identify. I always thought that I was straight but now I just don't know. My friend keeps saying how bi I am and my family speculates how bi I am. However I don't know if I'm bi because maybe I am or if I'm bi because everyone thinks that I am. I've only had one partner in my life and I have never been with the same sex. I've never really thought about being with the same sex and how it would work out for me.

Only you can determine your sexuality. Not anyone else. It’s also fine to say, “I don’t know what I am.” To some people, labels are comforting. To some, they’re not. 

Also, once again, I will say there are five different types of attraction. Sexual, Sensual, Aesthetic, Romantic, and Platonic. You feel a different combination of these for every person you meet. Also, for example: It’s entirely possible to feel heterosexual, but homoromantic. Meaning you have romantic interest in the same sex you identify as, but only interested in sex with the opposite sex. 

Sexuality is incredibly complicated. In an ideal world, I would say, “I’m a Kelley.” Because that’s exactly what I am. I’m just myself. The spectrum of sexuality is complex and multifaceted. So don’t let anyone tell you who you are. Do what makes you happy, not someone else. 

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Hello Kelley, I have a question, if you don’t mind. If one is asexual, how can there then be a distinction between wanting to be in hetero relationships and same-sex relationships? Surely once the sexual attraction is taken out of it, all that’s left is an attraction to the personality. If you’re not attracted to the body, then why does it matter what body they’re in? No disrespect intended, I genuinely just don’t understand- love your blog by the way. Thanks!

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You’re fine, lovely! Thank you for asking!

It comes down to romantic attraction. I’ve said this a lot over the past few days, but it doesn’t hurt to revisit the information! There are five different types of attraction. Sexual, sensual, romantic, platonic, and aesthetic. You can feel any combination of these for each person in the world. With asexuals, the Sexual attraction is removed (or reduced) leaving sensual, romantic, platonic, and aesthetic. Now, I can only ASSUME I’m heteroromantic because I’ve only ever been romantically attracted to men. The whole two times I’ve experienced romantic attraction in my twenty-nine years of life.

I personally won’t mind if my life partner is a woman. Or other. I don’t know if that means anything. I just haven’t ever been romantically attracted to a woman. I’ve been so very rarely romantically attracted to anyone, I almost considered myself aromantic. So until I am romantically attracted to someone that’s not a man, I’ll just have to use heteroromantic as a label for myself. I prefer just sticking with ‘asexual’ since I don’t know for sure. But that’s just me.

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Sorry to bother you but Im kinda troubled. Tumblr basically says if youre a girl and find another girl pretty AT ALL, you're not straight but I dont feel attracted to girls. I dont want to touch or kiss them & it feels like aesthetic appeal but tumblr like ohh ur not straight. Idk, Ive had crushes on guys but never girls. I feel like that makes me straight. What do you think?

There are five different types of attraction. Romantic, Sensual, Sexual, Aesthetic, and Platonic. You can be absolutely solely attracted to someone aesthetically. For instance, I’m aesthetically attracted to Benedict Cumberbatch and Ruby Rose. I’m in no way Romantically or Sexually or Sensually attracted to them because I don’t know them. And Ben is married? So that’s like NO for me anyway? Me being asexual notwithstanding. I have no idea about Ruby Rose’s partner situation, but still. She’s really pretty.

Anyway! You can be any combination of those five things per each person in the WORLD. Which means you can simply be aesthetically attracted to certain women. Or men. Or other. Without being sexually attracted to them. 

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

For the bi?? anon (pt. 1) You mentioned not sure about being bi because you weren't sure it felt like you, and I totally get that! You may or may not be bi, but I remember when I was first coming to terms with my sexuality I was super uncomfortable with the thought of being bi. Even saying the word bisexual made me super uncomfortable. I think I was scared that if I took on that name, took on that label, I would be taking every stereotype and association along with it. I just wanted to be me...

For the bi?? anon (pt 2) It took me a really long time to separate stereotypes, aesthetics, and other associations that come with wlw relationships, from who I was. I don't know, I think I went a long time without calling my self anything. I knew I wasn't gay, but I also knew I wasn't straight, and that's all I could say for a while. I think it's just a matter of becoming comfortable in you're own skin. I think I mostly know what's up with me now, and I think that's why I'm comfortable calling..

For bi?? anon (last pt) myself bi now. Sexuality's super complicated though. That's just what I felt and what maybe you were hinting at. Sexuality is fluid and it can change over time. Whatever conclusion you come to, just know that's it's fine, you don't have to call it anything, because ultimately it's just a part of you. You are you, and nothing can change that. Just explore how you feel and know that everything's fine. Sexual, romantic, or both are all valid types of attractions.

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Thank you so much for your perspective, lovely. =)