Leaving your family last year was not
as hard as you thought it would be.
Maybe because it's you who was doing the leaving
You have insipid white scars but still bruise purple. You like pink
and wearing dresses but you still
haven't figured out if that makes you a girl or not, you still
haven't figured out if the feminine experience exists
like that poem you wrote or whether you merely
created your own mythology of “females” to
guide you and your vagina forward through life.
You wore pants today but you spilled Harold's on them
Now you are half naked, staring at your legs and hating them,
hating the little bumps on them and the indentations the seams
on those pants made. You want to put them back on
but face it, these thighs belong to you and you alone.
Love your mottled little legs and your mottled little face.
If you are you with glitter on your eyes or antlers on your thighs
you are comely either way. Eat ants on a log, savor
the elements and let your heartbeat
radiate from your palms and soles alike.
Drink the Bartlett elixirs and let their warmth fill you-- people
pretend to be miserable here but don't let that infiltrate you,
you're better than that, you're healthy and free
and it's okay to be okay, kitten,
purr and cuddle and rebrand yourself
as you desire, like the ads you desire, suck fluid vitality
from your wounds and murmur forward
You are a sister and a brother and a mother and a son,
you are a cliché and and and the dirt and grease
from your skin is home to a billion microorganisms.
You are your own world and your own God
feed every vestigial psyche organ and ripple on