If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found
If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 25,400 Summary: Days after I’m No Angel, Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it. Meanwhile, Dean finds himself so wracked with guilt, he can’t stand to see his own face in the mirror. He doesn't know what's worse; the fact that he threw Cas away or that Sam’s unwillingly - and unwittingly - possessed by an angel. Charlie comes for a visit and decides to stay, and it takes her no time at all to call Dean on his bullshit. With her help and encouragement and a plan to deal with the angel in Sam later, Dean and Charlie set out to find Cas and bring him home. But when they find him, Dean’s surprised that Cas doesn’t want to come home, leaving Dean to face some difficult truths about himself - and how he feels about Castiel.
This, THIS is the Castiel I fell for in Seasons 4 and 5. He is stoic and brave, earnest and contained. He has been seasoned by time on his own, away from family and friends. He has known hardship, but isn’t completely broken. Even without his grace, he still has the knowledge of the ages and a kindness of heart that brings him to the attention of an older Amish couple. And Dean, you desperate, self-flagellating mama bear with the self esteem of a carrot. Thank god you have friends like Charlie who know how to see through you and help you realize what it is you really need.
This story diverges after 9x04 with Charlie staying with Dean and Sam instead of going to Oz, and that makes all the difference. The author is known for their AUs, yet this canon tale shows her deep understanding of Dean and especially Castiel’s character. There is pining, there are fuck ups, but there are also moments that made me chuckle and smile. I really enjoyed this gentle, heartfelt story.
Fanworks inspired by this fanfic at destielfanworks (other fanworks by title)
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