#ihob

[unhinged-soapbox]

I've been chasing the fever dream high of turning on food network on a red eye flight, passing out on the tray, and waking up to the ihop/ihob rebrand ad at some indeterminate time for seven years now.

[blocksgame]

weird diner AU (Lifesteal S4) excerpt

Jaron has brought some weird purple guy with him. He says, hey Bacon, this is my friend Ash, we were in jail together.

We drove here separately, Ash tells you, for some reason.

Hey man, you say. Hey, was it weird being next to the mothership? That thing in the sky always freaks you the hell out.

No, says Ash. Jaron laughs. Okay then. You text Planet to come by after his shift, really get the gang together. You tell Ash he can stay for as long as he wants. Jaron already knows that he can. Anyone who’s cool with Jaron is cool with you.

Your name is Bacon and you serve bacon? Ash asks. You gave him a menu but he’s still squinting at the specials board behind you. Jaron is charging his phone with your charger and playing pinball. Ash says: Isn’t that, like, kind of fucked up?

It’s just the name, you say.

Are you named after bacon? Ash presses you. Are you named after a breakfast food?

It’s a tasty add-on to many meals, like our bestselling bacon cheeseburger, you tell him. And for your information, bacon is named after me.

Don’t go around like that, Ash snaps. Our bestselling bacon cheeseburger? Like you do it better. Fucking everyone likes bacon cheeseburgers. That’s not your accomplishment. You just sell a food item everyone wants and don’t fuck it up. Also, I don’t believe you.

Are you sure, you ask? It comes with our bestselling fries.

I hate you, says Ash.

The hell were you thinking, anyone who’s cool with Jaron is cool with you. Jesus fuck. Jaron needs to get better standards.

vvvvvv more of this at vvvvvv

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[foreverxdaydreaming]

[sharabp]

Throughly enjoying other restaurants reacting to IHOb

[thosefunnyones]

[xbubbledumbbx]

Behold my genius idea

The “International House Of Eggs”

What do you think IHOP?

[pinkpolkabat]

y’all are fools ihop changed to ihob in this holy pride month of june thus ihob stands for international house of bisexuals

[peachy-keen-glam-queen]

Looking at this makes me feel like I've tripped and fallen into an alternate universe where everything is almost the same but slightly off and I'm so uncomfortable.