#ihopethisoneworksout

[writingswiftiewithaproblem-blog]

Now this, my friends, is actual bae goals

[poseysgirl]

I was specific with what I wanted, now I have it. But it just seems so wrong.

Actually, I didn't even ask God. All I did was make a checklist of all the things I wanted my future boyfriend to have. I knew it was impossible to have all of it. Just take a look at what I wanted. 

Tall

Broad Shoulders

Brown/Blonde hair

Colored Eyes (i.e Blue, green, gray.)

Nice Smile

Family-Oriented

God Fearing

Someone who can drive

Someone who has a car

Left-handed

Someone who's playful

And more. I don't have my list with me right now but those are the ones I remember. Anyways, one year later I come face to face with him. The guy who has all these... and more. Although, it just seems so wrong. Why? Because I know I probably can't have him. I know. He's the guy of my dreams but I don't know why I can't seem to step out of my shell and do what is needed to be done to get him. I mean, I wouldn't mind doing the first move like saying "Hi" first. The problem is, I can't. I get stuck like a statue every time I see him. Every night, I have all these plans in my head. The things I'm going to say and stuff like that. In the morning, I'm all hyped up, so excited for after school because that's the only time I see him ( We don't have classes together and I can't find him during all the other breaks. YES! I look for him. It's kinda hard not to.) Then, when after school comes, I just stand there like an idiot. He's like right behind me or sometimes he's right next to me. But no words seem to come out and I can't even move. Like a STATUE. I get frustrated because I let all those time pass. But I can't do it. My outfits get wasted, the day gets wasted. Basically, everything, all the effort to look good gets wasted every time I don't talk to him. But then, what's a girl in awe to do? I keep telling myself  I can't and I won't lose him but I can't even get myself to talk to him! UGHHHHH!!!!! I'm so frustrated.