Aug 30, 2021
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before: ike, san, rehab
Dear Ike,
They said you're not allowed your phone or anything like that for this weekend but letters were all right so I wrote this one and and another one for tomorrow and left them for you. I was gonna just sit in the lobby and write them but they wouldn't let me! I guess they don't want people loitering and you know I AM a distraction. Anyhow I batted my eyelashes at a counsellor and he let me sit in an empty interview room. I like how this place smells of spearmint a little bit. Have you noticed that?
I was thinking about what you asked me when we were walking here from the L and the answer is: no. There isn't some better thing I could be doing with my time. Yes I'm young and yes I've got the whole world waiting for me but that's exactly why it's not some huge sacrifice for me, don't you see? I have plenty of time for all that. But I don't have time to waste when it comes to you. I can be here for you now, so that's what I'm doing and Ike, it's totally completely what I WANT to be doing. You know by now how impossible it is to make me do something I don't want to.
You can believe me because I didn't answer you right away, which means I took the time to think about it, and because I'm writing this out longhand instead of typing it which means even MORE time to think. Daddy always gives me pens as presents because he says that the link from brain to hand to paper fosters conviction in what you're saying, because it's being put down and you can't erase it easy. So you're kind of compelled to really consider what you say.
That's kind of like us, isn't it? I mean us being friends. I mean I don't know if you want to date me, or anything, and maybe right now in the thick of what you're going through, Ike, I'm not exactly your first priority (for once I'm not saying that to be vain, it's as it should be). But even as what we are, I feel like we've thought about it, both of us. We've taken the time for brain to hand to paper.
They said that I could leave you something nice too so I left you a candy bar for today and you'll get your tomorrow thing tomorrow. Be patient till then!
San xoxo 1 of 2
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Ike,
My brain is telling my hand to put down on paper that I would like it if you wanted to date me. You don't have to do anything with that if you don't want to. They said I should come pick you up exactly at six pm today so I'll come at ten after and if you're already gone, then I'll know you didn't want to hear that, and then when we see each other next we'll just act like I never said anything, okay? And we can go back to normal. Unlike longhand writing we can erase it easy.
I hope they don't read these letters because they might rip this one up or something. I'm a distraction. But you are too, Ike, and I'm gonna be chewing spearmint gum all weekend without you, wondering how it's going for you. (I think you'll do great. Just being here is doing great.)
You are the best thing I am doing with my time.
San xoxo 2 of 2
ps: today I left you one of those rainbow heart stickers I bought at the train station and a kiss-print on the envelope of this letter. Wear the sticker somewhere only you can see it. Kiss my lips on your letter and I'll feel it. I'm so proud that you're taking care of yourself. See you at ten past six.
“Daddy, please I need you again...”
This had been going on-and-off all fucking night. Ike’s pregnant mate was a soaking ball of hormones and both holes begging to be fucked until Ike was sure his prick was gonna drop right off or at the very least refuse to rise in protest. But hell, it was a goddamn traitor to the last when it dutifully filled every time his husband’s scent had spiked.
“Ike, baby-”
“No, I fucking can’t Santiago, I need a break-”
“Its not that, I swear...”
Which is how Ike ended up finding the only place still delivering at 3 in the damn morning and then stumbling to throw on the first thing he could find, which happened to be the matching robe to San’s pregnancy lingerie.
“Breeded Omega, huh dude?”
“Oh, ya fuckin’ think?”
omg Ike draping his prayer shawl over his boys at temple 🥺