Hi Aqua! May I request a fic about Comte being stuck in traffic behind Leonardo who has fallen asleep during the wait?
Thank you @atelieredux for another hysterical request (this will take me a while to type out as I will laugh like a crazy lady while typing)
The One Where Leonardo Fell Asleep at the Wheel
Mozart: (bangs head against passenger window, groaning) How long is this dreadful traffic going to be?
Comte: Be patient, Mozart. It hasn't been that long.
Isaac: (holds out his watch) Are you kidding me? By my calculations, it has been....
Napoleon: (snores from the backseat)
Jean: (monotone) It's been forever.
Comte: Let's look on the bright side. We're all together on this cross-country trip.
Jean: I never asked to come on a trip.
Comte: (ignores Jean) It won't be much longer.
Jean: Not much longer, huh?
Comte: We moved....
Napoleon: (snores)
Isaac: Yea, a millimeter. Maybe.
Mozart: (groans)
***fifteen more minutes later***
Mozart: (peering through windshield) Do my eyes deceive me? Are the cars moving?
Jean: Yes, every car but ours.
Comte: Give the driver a moment. We've been stopped in traffic for so long.
***five more minutes later***
Jean: Exactly how long will it take for this driver to move?
Comte: .....
Mozart: Why isn't this car in front of us moving?
Comte: .....
Isaac: Maybe their car broke down?
Comte: ....
Napoleon: (snoring)
Comte: ....
Jean: Honk the horn.
Comte: Honking won't help.
Comte: (glares at car in front of his)
Mozart: What's his problem?
Vincent: The traffic is finally moving!
Theo: That's great, but who's waking him up? (points at Leonardo asleep in the driver's seat)
Dazai: Not me.
Arthur: Don't look at me.
Theo: (looks at Arthur)
Arthur: I'm not sitting next to him. Dazai is sitting up front.
Dazai: I already pulled his ear and poked him. Nothing worked.
Arthur: Someone has to wake him up, we can't sit like this forever.
Theo: (screams) LEONARDO!
Leonardo: (snores)
Theo: (shrugs) I tried.
Vincent: (starts to open his door) I'll drive.
Theo: (pulls Vincent back) You don't know how to drive.
Vincent: Oh, that's right.
Leonardo: (snores louder)
Dazai: What if we kick him?
Mozart: (groans)
Jean: I told you all, a road trip was a horrible, horrible idea. And we have no marorons left.
Isaac: Does the car in front of us look familiar to anyone else?
Comte: (silently fumes in his seat)
Napoleon: (finally awake) Do you know who's in that car, Comte?
Comte: (revs engine) Leonardo...