she is, it seems, no apt apprentice for the godaime, no WORTHY pupil of the hokage’s own. she has tasted defeat, && found it bitter, but this: this is failure at its lowest ebb. she comes back to konoha, swallowing GRIEF, swallowing down the rage && the anguish storming in her like a tempest, && she thinks oh. how very disappointed tsunade-sama will be.
it was never meant to come to this ( && who would ever dared to say otherwise? ) sasuke, gone, seduced by power, corrupted by rage, && naruto on the BREAKING point to bring him back, for her. the promise of a life-time, dattebayo! team seven, disbanded; konoha, in disarray. tsunade senju, FIFTH HOKAGE, half-dead in her efforts to protect the village hidden in the leaf; sakura, the fifth’s apprentice, in miserable disgrace.
if she had just killed sasuke but it scrapes something too RAW && agonizing to follow that thought to its end. he could do it; he didn’t hesitate a moment, had her GASPING as he held her by the throat, && made to gut her like a pig. she, discarded, && him, remorseless && he only came alive when it was naruto, to the rescue, again. ( no point in tears, now. )
&& if tsunade-sama is no better ... she can’t follow that thought, either; she knows her own misery, && never mind stoking the fires of its destruction.
shizune-sama’s voice calls her out of the gloom, && she halts, STARTLED; she hadn’t even realized she’d made it to konoha, let alone the hokage’s office. a leap of terror, UNBIDDEN, but freezing her to the spot is shishou ... ?
no time to fear she’s pulled up by the arm, speeding through the halls until, at last, they stand before the hokage’s door, && shizune gives her a little push, URGING, eager. hardly time to gulp a breath, but sakura pushes forwards ( as tsunade had ever taught her to. )
she is alive, awake, TANGIBLE && real, && in the span it takes to see it cannot be helped. the apprentice pitches to her knees, as disconsolate as a child, arms thrown around the hokage’s shoulders, voice broken on the sobs.
❝ shishou, you’re alive! i can’t believe ... i thought ... i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i f-failed ... shishou ... ❞