I would like to offer you my sincerest apologies, along with those of Manchester United, for the poor show of football skills that took place yesterday in Milford. I unknowingly agreed to play against you, and Man City, in a match that can only be described as truly atrocious.
It was not my intention to continuously lob the ball down the pitch. However, those were the tactics that worked to my advantage while playing Dylan. This resulted in a 1-0 defeat, with Dylan the victor.
On the other hand, I would also like to point out that before last night, my skills in FIFA were non-existent. My usual approach to gaming, namely button-bashing, clearly did not stand to me as I managed to score three own goals, two of which were scored by a lovely young player called Evra.
Throughout the match, you kept your head clear and played steadily, scoring two goals within the first ten minutes. This quickly escalated to three, after I managed to score an own goal, and then you beautifully finished another, hitting the ball into the top left corner.
I'm not quite sure of the details which resulted in the following six goals, other than the fact that I scored two of them myself as own goals. In some sort of fluke, I managed to save a penalty, which a player then deflected down the field. If I remember correctly though, this didn't affect you as you soon scored a subsequent goal.
I have to say, I'm very grateful that you didn't make me complete some other "tasks" as such, ones that I never knew applied to the game, such as making you a sandwich for scoring seven goals, or at ten goals I had to make you a card from Moon Pig.
While it was only my second time playing FIFA, I would like to offer you my sincerest apologies for wasting your time, even though you were the one who suggested we play against each other. You showed good sportsmanship throughout the match as there were many chances for you to score against me. Through luck, or your kind, benevolent heart, you did not convert these chances and the scoreboard remained somewhat the same for another while.
You are clearly the more superior player, and as you stated, you have FIFA in your house. I, conversely, am stuck with a Wii, and my soccer playing skills extend as far as the football event in Mario and Sonic At The Olympics. Clearly my knowledge of the sport on that console means nothing when playing against an excellent player such as yourself on a PS3.
I endeavour to somehow improve my soccer playing skills, and who knows, I may challenge you to a rematch at a later point in the semester. Hopefully by that stage my skills will have greatly increased and I won't just constantly press Square, nor will I end up with only 10 players on the pitch after five minutes.
Once again I would like to offer you up my most sincere apologies; I wasted my time, the Frisbee team's time as they wanted to play Disc Golf, but more importantly Supergay, I wasted your time, and for that I am truly sorry. I hope that my pathetic attempts at playing don't give you a bad impression of the younger generation, nor female gamers. The blame is entirely my own, and I hope that someday I can rectify my mistakes and give you a proper match.
And just to clarify for anyone who may not have been aware of the score, after 90 minutes of play, the score was 10-0 to Supergay.
My most heartfelt, frank, honest apology,
Laura.
tl;dr - Supergay whooped my ass at FIFA, the score was 10-0
