The Challenger: Alec the Unbothered
Name/Classification: Alec (challenger 1)
Fight level: 7 years of guitar experience
Special Skill: Improvisation
Astrological signs : Aquarius Sun Scorpio Moon
Constitution: white hair anime character, smoky make-up, windy, steely blue vibe, higher chakra disposition, heady, trollin, alien
( Recommended listenings while you read this: Lost boy by Ruth B. and She’s a trouble Maker by Joan Boaz )
With one week away here is some info on the much anticipated first challenger of 3, Alec the Unbothered. I say unbothered because that is how I have always know him since meeting during a study abroad program almost 5 years ago. At the time an 18 year old from the Bahamas, I was pretty hell bent on avoiding this kid, so of course we became fast friends.
Alec was a too cool for school guy. The type of guy that would throw his own shoes at you if you were walking up a rocky mountain with flip flops. He was also the type of person to cut others in line or say things just to get them worked up, such an aquarius. One thing I only started reflected on later was how Alec took most of that summer abroad to learn guitar, something I admired. Conversely something that made me angry and hopefully something he is working on now is a pretty sexist attitude and inflammatory comments. That always really bugged me! >_<
And now I’ll make a disclaimer: this is my version of Alec, the narrative thats been running through my mind, not necessarily the truth just the truth from my perspective. That being said I think Alec was working out issues around women just as much as I was working out my issues with men at the time, making our friendship funny and complicated. I hadn’t really had many guy friends at this point so it was difficult for me to deal with some of the nuances of friendships with dudes. I really had ( well have I’m trying to deal with this still) a lot of bottled up angst and resentment towards men so this had an obvious effect on our interactions.My real beef with Alec was that as a friend he had some qualities that stung like sexist comments.
Battle intentions/Analysis:
Something I have to let go of is part of something I’m not saying. I had an idealized version of Alec as this rough around the edges lost boy, like the lost boys of Peter Pan that are full of adventure, but never quite grew up. It really reminds me of this great song by Ruth B. called “Lost boy”. In it Ruth has this great line “and lost boys like me are free”.
I really envied this sense of freedom Alec had, something I saw so clearly in how he lived, but for some reason I couldn’t see it myself. If you could steal a quality from someone, from Alec I would steal his free confidence and nonchalant attitude. I believed the facade whether it was real or not.
In retrospect it must be said, I had tons of freedom, I just needed to cultivate it. And that is what I hope to do now with the guitar battle.
When roaming the streets of Bulgaria Alec said something that always stuck with me, I needed to be more “ straight up”. To me I think of this as just being real, saying what you really mean, what you really feel. I wasn’t really ready to do that 6 or 7 years ago, but I am now. Another note I’d like to make here is the strange stories we can end up creating, especially when gender socialization and sexism are operating at this unconscious level.
Looking back I made up a pretty strange story about Alec and who he was, one that gave him probably more credit than he could carry, and created more expectations of his character that weren’t very fair. Theres this term I like, “right relationship” and what I interpret it is as is not letting all your hang ups really get in the way of seeing someone for who they are. I hope this time around in seeing Alec, and settling things through the guitar battle I might be able to actually see Alec thats what I hope anyway.
My intentions in this guitar battle is to gauge how much improvement I am making, dispelling myths about myself and the guys I’m battling, and inventing a new way to find freedom. Plus extra points to healing difficult interactions and potentially a friendship. We’ll see what happens.
ALSO theres just the plain excitement! In this battle I’m going up against a person that has played guitar for 7 years while I’ve only played for 2. You gotta love those odds. I want to have just as much freedom now as I imagined Alec had all those years ago. I can be nonchalant too huzzah! This sense of mischief, fun and whimsy, is captured in a song I’ve love that Joan Boaz performs thats called” She’s a Trouble Maker”. If you have a chance give it a listen, its oldie and goodie. So for all the fans out there, this one’s for you! And the ladies! And you know for me too ;)
Fun fact about guitar practice:
So here we are ONE WEEK away. Coming to you with some guitar practice, but I’m gonna have to shift this into hyper-gear to get the done. I’ve got two more full songs to learn and lots of practice to do on improvising! Its so hard. But this lady’s not going down with out a fight!