#illterate

[dangerkeith3000x]

I keep this one because it says I will have good luck soon!

[muddypolitics]

people are saying...

that donald trump can’t read

[namesareoverratedsstuff]

Education is so weird because wdym at the grand age of ten years old i was learning about fucking relative and subordinate clauses and very technical grammar stuff but the second you move to a secondary school suddenly no one's read a book since year 6 and no one can tell the difference between a noun and a verb and there's an illteratcy problem in schools cuz all of a sudden no one can read

[timaeuslover001]

anyone miss a time where you cold exist online and not be treated as illiterate because you have one or more typos?

nothing gets under my skin more than people calling eachother illiterate.

all because of some typos.

as if we never had typos before and read them because we understand CONTXT CLUES

and they'll do that for the simplest harmful comments like a compliment on a song or a video.

it was just disgusting.

(and I know talk do it whenever people make posts and yall dont like or repost it unless its perfectly garamtically correct 🙄)

[thecharactercomma]

How do you write an illiterate character?

I started to answer this question, but it got really complicated really fast. So, I’m going to give you half the answer here and half the answer in a day or two in a more complicated post.

Because this depends. You didn’t give much detail, so I don’t know how to help you. Your character can be one of two things, and each of these will have vastly different answer:

An illiterate character in an illiterate society (oral society)

An illiterate character in a literate society

Option 1: If your character was born in an illiterate society, where no one reads and actually a written language does not exist, then your question is very complicated. This is called an oral society, and the mental processes of people who live in oral societies is vastly different than those from written societies. [read more here if you want]. Explaining this is where my answer started to get complicated, so I'll go into much more detail for this topic in a few days.

Option 2: I’m assuming your character fits in here: an illiterate person in a society where a written language exists. This might be a person in modern day USA (which might be associated with feelings of shame/embarrassment), a bandit during the middle ages (where it’s completely normal), or some other situation.

But character-wise, consider how your character feels about their inability to read. Also, it’s possible that your character will know a handful of words just from exposure, so think about what words might be most common, and thus understandable. Back to the bandit example, he might recognize “tavern” because it’s written the same in every village, so he knows what that word means.

Some great sources for you!

Hope this helps.

--E

[agentlemanslady]

Date an illiterate girl:

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.*

- Charles Warnke

[live2lovejay]