Not just survive it
Cassian x Illyrian reader
quiet training scene with cassian because i physically cannot write this man without some level of emotional damage
this is more restrained than what i usually do but i wanted something that felt⦠earned
no big confession
no dramatic fix
just him choosing to meet her where sheās at instead of breaking her down
and her maybe..... just maybe..... starting to believe him
(also yes he absolutely went and handled the situation without telling her)
Cassian knew he was holding back when it came to training you.
When Azriel brought you back from the Autumn Court of all places, something in the Inner Circle had shifted.
Not because of who you were
But where you came from.
Eris Vanserra had been training you.
An Illyrian.
For months.
And now that responsibility sat squarely on Cassianās shoulders.
The two of you had been at it for hours.
Hand-to-hand was where you fell apart.
just⦠wrong.
Not slow
not weak
Eris had taught you blades. Footwork. How to evade.
Your instincts werenāt built for it.
Too used to distance. Steel. Space.
Cassian?
Cassian taught you how to take a hit.
He had you on your back before you even registered the shift.
His knee pinned your thigh, hand locking your arm above your head.
Wrist caught.
Weight dropped.
Air knocked from your lungs.
Both of you are breathing hard.
Too close.
Too still.
Gritted teeth.
āCome on,ā he muttered, voice rough.
āI know he taught you how to get out of this.ā
Because he knew you could.
You just⦠werenāt.
You didnāt buck.
Didnāt twist.
Didnāt even try.
Cassian frowned.
Then pushed you harder into the dirt.
And everything changed.
It wasnāt subtle.
Pain flashed across your face sharp, unguarded, immediate.
Your breath hitched wrong.
Your body went rigid under his.
Cassian stilled.
Not fully.
But enough.
His grip shifted
āWhat,ā he said slowly, dangerously,
āthe hellā
And he saw it.
Your wing.
A slice along the membrane.
Not clean.
Not shallow.
Fresh enough that the edges hadnāt settled.
āWhat. The. Hell. Is. That.ā
Each word landed heavier than the last.
Your jaw tightened.
You tried to roll him.
Collapsed.
Actually tried this time but your arm gave out halfway through.
Forced him down harder on instinct.
You sucked in a sharp breath.
That same wrong hitch.
Cassian swore and shifted immediately, lifting just enough to take his full weight off youbut not letting you up.
Not yet.
Not like this.
A lie.
āNothing,ā you bit out.
āJust a scrape.ā
A bad one.
āThatās not what a scrape does to wings.ā
His own flared slightly on reflex, instinct, emphasis.
Frustration bleeding through the movement.
āItās nothing.ā
āYou cannot be serious.ā
You finally shoved at him again.
Weaker this time.
Slower.
āLet me up.ā
āNo.ā
Flat. Immediate.
Your eyes snapped to his.
āI said itās nothing.ā
āAnd I'm sayingā his voice dropped, tighter now, āthatās not your call to make when youāre training under me.ā
Something in your expression shifted.
Not fear.
Not quite anger.
Defiance.
āI donāt need you to go easy on me.ā
āIām not going easy on you.ā
āThen stop acting like Iām going to break.ā
That hit.
He actually flinched.
Barely but it was there.
āYouāre already injured.ā
āAnd Iām still here.ā
āBarely.ā
Your laugh was sharp. Wrong.
Silence.
āGood,ā you said.
āThen maybe now it counts.ā
Cassian went very still.
āCounts,ā he repeated.
Quiet.
Dangerous in a different way no
āYou think running yourself into the ground is what makes this count?ā
āI think stopping is what gets me sent back.ā
There it was.
Not said loudly.
Not dramatically.
But it landed harder than anything else had.
Cassianās grip loosened.
Just slightly.
Not enough for you to get away.
But enough that it wasnāt control anymore.
It was hesitation.
āYouāre not going back,ā he said.
You didnāt answer.
Didnāt look convinced.
And that
That was what finally broke something in him.
He let you go.
Abrupt.
Like holding on any longer would make it worse.
Cassian pushed to his feet, dragging a hand down his face, wings flaring once sharp, agitated.
āTrainingās done,ā he snapped.
You sat up slower than you should have needed to.
Still said nothing.
That silence followed him as he turned away.
And didnāt look back.
It was the dining room that Cassian found himself in.
Not by choice.
Just⦠ended up there.
Azriel was already at the table, shadows curled tight around his shoulders as he went over reports.
Cassian dropped into the chair across from him.
Az didnāt look up.
āBad morning for training?ā
Cassian rolled his eyes.
āShe showed up with a cut in her wing.ā
That got Azrielās attention.
Not all at once
but enough.
āDeep?ā he asked.
A beat.
āDeep enough that she shouldnāt have been there,ā Cassian muttered.
āShe tried to train through it anyway.ā
āThen basically implied weād send her back to the Autumn Court if she didnāt.ā
Azriel went still.
āI told her to send word to you that sheās resting today.ā
Now Azriel looked up.
Fully.
Silence stretched.
āWhat happened?ā Cassian asked, sharper now.
Azriel set the report down.
Shadows shiftingtight, restless.
Cassian frowned.
āShe was at Rita's last night,ā he said.
āWith Morr.ā
āShe left early.ā
A pause.
Measured.
āSomeone followed her.ā
Cassianās posture changed.
Subtle.
Immediate.
āWhat do you mean followed.ā
Azrielās gaze didnāt waver.
āHe cornered her.ā
Silence.
Heavy.
A beat.
āWhen I got there,ā Azriel continued, voice low, controlled,
āher wing was already cut.ā
āAnd he was on the ground.ā
Cassianās jaw tightened.
āShe do it?ā he asked.
āYes.ā
No hesitation.
Another silence.
Different this time.
Of course she didnāt.
āShe was supposed to see Madja,ā Azriel added.
āShe didnāt go.ā
Cassian huffed, dragging a hand down his face.
āTheyāre talking,ā Azriel said.
Cassianās eyes snapped to his.
āWho.ā
Azriel held his gaze.
āThe camps.ā
That was enough.
Cassian leaned forward slightly.
Dangerously still.
āWhat are they saying.ā
Azriel didnāt soften it.
Didnāt try to.
Something in Cassian snapped into place.
āThat she should have been clipped.ā
A beat.
āThat someone should remind her what she is.ā
Cold.
āSheās not going back there,ā he said flatly.
āShe isnāt,ā Azriel agreed.
But that wasnāt the problem.
And they both knew it.
Cassian pushed to his feet.
āThey touched her.ā
Not a question.
Azrielās shadows shifted.
āYes.ā
That was it.
Cassian turned for the door.
āWhere are you going?ā Azriel asked.
Cassian didnāt slow.
āTo make sure it doesnāt happen again.ā
Youāre in your room when Cassian finds you.
Wing still not repaired.
Chest still heaving from training.
He doesnāt knock.
Just walks in.
Closes the door behind him and leans back against it.
āWhy didnāt you do what Azriel told you?ā
You look up from the bed.
Unimpressed.
You had a point.
āIf Iām injured in battle,ā you say, voice flat,
ātheyāre not going to wait for me to get a bandage before they keep going.ā
He knew that.
Didnāt matter.
A step forward.
āNo,ā Cassian said, pushing off the door,
āthey wonāt.ā
āBut I will.ā
You donāt flinch.
You roll your eyes.
āThe next time youāre told to find Madja and take the day off,ā he continues, voice tightening,
āyou do exactly that.ā
Already done with this.
āWhatās it matter anyway?ā
Cassian opens his mouth
You take a step toward him.
āWhat,ā you cut in, standing now,
āare you going to send me back to Eris?ā
āLike the Autumn Court is any better?ā
Another step.
āLike Beron wonāt beat me black and blue despite the wing tear?ā
Another.
Closer now.
Another step.
āLike they wonāt break my bones,ā your voice sharpens,
āand heal them just to do it again in the name of training?ā
āIs that what you think weāll do?ā
Cassian moves this time.
One step forward.
āIs that what they did?ā
Another.
Slower.
Another step.
āYou think you deserve that?ā
His voice drops.
āIs that it?ā
Silence.
Neither of you look away.
āWe would never do that to you.ā
Itās quiet.
Too quiet.
You almost miss it.
And that
that throws you more than anything else heās said.
You inhale, ready to snap back
But Cassianās already turning.
āIāll send Madja up.ā
The door opens.
Closes.
And heās gone.
When Cassian reaches the camps
heās already past anger.
Heās cold.
All seven siphons glow faintly against his skin.
Not flaring.
Not wild.
Controlled.
Thatās what makes it worse.
Word spreads fast when he lands.
Illyrian warriors slow.
Watch.
Wait.
No one speaks.
Cassian doesnāt ask around.
Doesnāt need to.
āWhere is he.ā
Not loud.
The male nearest him stiffens.
Points.
Thatās all it takes.
The male is laughing when Cassian finds him.
Mid-sentence.
Doesnāt finish it.
Because he sees him.
Sees the siphons.
The wings.
The stillness.
Cassian doesnāt rush him.
Doesnāt strike immediately.
Walks.
Slow.
Measured.
Stops just in front of him.
āYou put your hands on her.ā
Not a question.
The male shifts.
Glances around.
No one steps in.
He doesnāt finish that sentence either.
āSheās Illyrian,ā he says, defensive already.
āShe shouldā
Cassian grabs him.
Fast.
Slams him to his knees.
Not wild.
Precise.
āYou donāt get to decide what she should be.ā
The male struggles.
Fails.
āSheās not one of usā
Cassian tightens his grip.
Just enough.
āShe is,ā he says.
Flat.
Final.
Silence ripples outward.
Every warrior watching.
Listening.
Cassian leans in slightly.
Not shouting.
The male freezes.
āTouch her again,ā he says quietly,
āand I wonāt stop at a warning.ā
Because he knows
that wasnāt a threat.
It was a promise.
Cassian releases him.
Lets him drop.
Straightens.
Turns.
And walks away.
No one follows.
No one speaks.
Itās dinner time when Cassian returns to the House of Wind.
Madja had already filled him in.
Your wing was repaired.
You were supposed to stay off of it.
And apparently the bastard from the night before had sprained your wrist and twisted your shoulder.
That explained why you hadnāt rolled him off that morning.
Against his better judgment, Cassian doesnāt seek you out that night.
Not because he doesnāt want to.
Because he does.
But he knows
after earlier
whatever comes out of his mouth wonāt be what he means.
So he lets you sleep.
When he walks into the training ring the next morning
youāre already there.
Punching the wooden beam at the center.
Cassian stops.
Just watches for a second.
Your stance is off.
Your shoulder compensating.
Your wrist is stiff.
Still going.
Of course you are.
He doesnāt tell you to stop.
Doesnāt call out.
Just walks up behind you
and nudges your foot with his.
You pause.
Look down.
Then adjust.
Correcting your stance.
He gestures toward your arm.
A silent question.
You nod.
Cassian steps in closer.
Not crowding
just enough.
He takes your arm, careful but firm, and lowers it slightly. Shifts your shoulder with it.
Like heās commenting on the weather.
āThis will let you keep your power,ā he says, voice even,
āwithout pulling the joint.ā
Like this is nothing.
Training continues like that.
No structure. No plan. Just you moving.
Cassian adjusting.
A shift of your stance.
A reposition of your grip.
A quiet correction before you even realize youāre compensating wrong.
He never mentions the injury.
Just works around it.
And for the first time
you do too.
By the end of the morning, youāre heading toward the exit.
Almost gone.
When Cassian finally speaks.
āYou know we wouldnāt do that, right?ā
You stop.
Just barely.
Turn your head enough to look at him over your shoulder.
Cassian doesnāt move.
A breath.
āDespite whatever theyāre saying in the camps,ā he continues,
āor in other courtsā¦ā
Measured.
āWe donāt push someone past the point of breaking.ā
His voice softens just slightly.
āNot unless weāre on a battlefield.ā
A pause.
āHereā¦ā
He gestures vaguely toward the ring.
Toward you.
āWe teach you how to work with it.ā
You donāt respond right away.
Donāt argue.
Donāt deflect.
Just stand there for a second longer than necessary.
Then a small nod. Barely there. And the slightest hint of a smile.
Before you walk away.
Cassian watches you go.
Doesnāt follow.
But he doesnāt look away either.












