#im insisting

[ronkeyroo]

Heart feels like its choking, body burns like crazy, i feel the wounds from the inside and i wish i could be anyyhing else but this, ANYONE else but me. I wish i could reach for the parts in myself brave enough to look all this pain in the eyes and still say: "watch me" As i push through, against all odds, against all threat. Drag that stubborness and confidence I know is native within me. But its not there, its not there and its been months. I want to say that i hate this body, that i hate my heart, lash out and tear at myself until nothing remains and matters at all but i know i know i know its not right, forcing punishment and blame on the very things i wish could just be okay. free of this chronic fucking nightmare. Healthy and strong instead of dead or decaying

I dont have what it takes to feel brave right now. im scared and exhausted to the point of seething tears and i feel the inner, automated call to wither and perish but i have to keep reminding myself ill preservere no matter what, no matter what no matter w h a t

[cronchthepotato]

techno was also in paris guys I would know I was the Eiffel tower i saw him!!!!

[horrorvillains]

natalie if u can hear me from su hell ...........read avas demon u nerd