the real goodbye
we got a chance to really discuss our sitch early this morning...it's so sad but it had to be done sooner or later... i've always known that what we've been doing was wrong...but she just meant so much to me and i didn't know how to let her go... she's been trying to tell me throughout everything we've been thru, but i've been so stubborn...and all it took was for me to realize what needed to be done for everything to end... this is hard for me...when i woke up this morning i realized that i might not ever talk to her or see her again...i also realized just how much more i really care for her...it feels like a part of me is missing...emptiness... i don't like this at all...a part of me feels like this is wrong...i've connected with her so much on so many levels...every hug, every kiss, just fits perfectly...and the sex, my goodness the sex!!!...the best sex i've ever had (serious face)...i will never find anyone like her...i will never connect with anybody the way we've connected...it's something that only comes around once in a lifetime i believe...i truly believe that she is my soul mate... but this has to be done...and we both understand why... just deleted everything that i used to contact her because i know that if i still had them i will be tempted to get ahold of her... i still will adore her and care for her as i always have...i will continuously pray for her and wish her the very best in life...she will always have a piece of my heart...nothing will ever take that away... i hope that she will always know that... i will still have every "what if" and "one day" thought in the back of my mind... hoping that we'll cross paths again...i already know it will be hard to not smile when i see her :) although we've said our goodbyes...i will still be writing in this blog for every time i think of her...it will be my sweet face therapy i guess lol... she's so amazing and beautiful...she is thee coolest girl i know (no joke...no other girl has a chance)...letting her go will be the hardest thing i'd ever have to do...