Discover Top Posts Tagged with #imiss him

Pictures my girl took of me that still make me laugh

Rouya… please speak abt u and touya please i am begging

RUUUUUUST when i was talking to silas just now abt how i need to have touya brain worms again i REMEMBERED i had a lore doc a long long time ago about us through the perspective of an oc (my younger brother) x shouto and i am looking for it and if i dont locate it immediately im going to (says something that needs to be bleeped out for thirteen seconds)

rouya is probably lowkey up there with osarom and anaxarom in terms of the density of the lore…. the older/younger brother parallel dynamic orbit thingy was the main lens for it because i have a huge thing for dualities to drive home a point LOL and i also have a lot of love for shouto as a character …….. long story short i ‘died’ with him and the parallel that ensues between me and my brother is impossible without the todorokis. devotion to a cause but i chose villainy/he chose heroism, loving the failure vs. loving the “replacement”, that impossible paradoxical siblingly resentment that can only exist next to love and it feels so so horrible. i had some kind of healing quirk in the draft which like WHO DIDNT but whatever im a cancer and i wanna have a healing quirk so i will SJSKDJF but yeah. canon happens, im there, i basically do everything i can in line with whatever he wants. i dont join the league for ideology i join it for him. i harbor insane loathing for endeavor because i hate my own father in a very similar way and i just want touya to know i see him and love him regardless of anything ever. no manipulation (i do think he tries to push me away many many times) not on any codependent shit just pure unadulterated ugly devotion. like. im so devoted that im pathetic. i cant excuse anything he does i just see it and decide that loving him matters more. and the worst part of it all is that after he dies i live and i just have to rebuild my entire life still loving him. after hes all ive ever known. i definitely go hermit real landslide fleetwood mac shit

i just. live 4 fictional men who r broken beyond plausible return. im a huge sucker for the big bad motherfucker who only softens up for me. and the family aspect just makes it that much more tragic and delicious AND i definitely also kind of use rouya as a trans allegory….. i never wrote either of us as explicitly trans in my ss lore but something something love surviving from childhood through unfathomable transformation. ugh. we are t4t sometimes in my brain sometimes we aren’t but the Theme is there yk…. also something about loving someone throughout all the different forms they take in their life is very alluring to me as a trope. like i loved him when he was a prodigy. i loved him when he was a disappointment. i loved him when he was a corpse. i loved him when he was irredeemable. he has his life’s mission and my life mission is him. a lot of my selfships involve devotion to a fault NOT that this says anything about me don’t look any deeper into that

anyway. vignettes and further listening. childhood pinky promises. lighting my cigarettes off his fingertip. kneeling among smoke and ruins. cold nights on rooftops. im the only one who knows his name for a long while. going 2 hell together. post battle caretaking. i can’t fix him but i could fuck him maybe that’ll calm him down. did you know that theres a tunnel under ocean blvd. there is a light that never goes out. vermillion pt 2. fade into you. love like blood. :p

#sorry this flooded out of me #i haven’t talked about him in literal ages #can u tell #IMISS HIM #I MISS ROUYA #rust. dap me up