a random thought for a poc!virgil: what if his real name was something like ‘virgilio’ and it explored his anxieties with white-passing? imagine him as an immigrant kid with a mixture of white and non-white blood (can i say filipino?). his culture being spat on by racists he encounters. he doesnt want to deal with that drama because who would want to be picked on? lucky for him he’s white-passing, with his light skin and brown hair; and so he clings to that with all his might despite the shame that follows.
contrast that with proud poc roman whos so enthusiastic about his culture. a roman who embraces his skin color with no qualms whatsoever. proud, mexican roman whose accent clings to the spanish tongue. proud roman with an unabashed love for that unique camaraderie that gets him to treat the people he meets as family, with the abuela that keeps him going.
seeing the two of them meet in an american middle school would have roman being his own, loud self, as he says things in his tongue (quezo, virgil. not kay-sow) and virgil desperately trying to mimic the twang of a stereotypical american accent. virgil, pretending he doesnt understand the idea of a tightly bonded family when all he sees in romans family is his own. virgil has to play dumb to a roman who has no idea of virgil’s origins. virge has to pretend not to be himself, and it hurts.
imagine roman taking ‘virgil’ as ‘virgilio’ and calling virge that one day. virgil, who went to such lengths to hide his identity suddenly being called that by his friend? as virgils walls come up like the day that they met, roman suspects. why has virgil gone frigid?
roman asks and asks, and it feels like he knows nothing about his friend. why then? and whats the deal with ‘virgilio’? and maybe roman finds out on his own, doing his own snooping (his pride, really) and finding that, wait a minute, thats virgil saying things correctly! to a group of people that look like him! and maybe the ‘lola’ or the ‘tito’ slips out and he pieces them together (is he mexican too?? what?)
maybe roman backs off and sees virgil in a different light. he sees the times when hes taken virgils hand and immersed him into the vibrance of his life as just another play. virgil faking every interaction, because if he lies about something as big as this, then what else is real? virgil merely pretending. virgil playing roman for a fool.
while this is going on, maybe virgil is debating things with his own family. he brings it up to his siblings, who then bring it up to everyone in the extended family and it boils down to ‘ay nako tell your friend already! he would be nice to you if he was your friend, diba?’ and maybe virgil decides to tell roman
only when they see each other again, roman is now the frigid one. how could virge do that to his own? and maybe virge begs roman to hear him out and to listen to him. roman gives him the time of day, but just barely.
they sit and virgil confesses. how he’s not really white, but he isnt mexican either. how hes done his best to hide it from others. how he flinches when a white man yells at him, whether its the principal, the teachers, or even some of his own classmates. how he chose to hide away the immigrant side of himself, and how its burdened him with shame. how he envied roman’s willingness to embrace all that he is when he could barely muster the courage to say ‘pero’.
and maybe he reintroduces himself to roman, this time using the accent that he once swore to never utter again, the clicks rounding out his words in a way he refused to before. he says this not only as a boy, but also an immigrant from a land wholly different than this one. not only as virgil, but as virgilio miguel de los reyes-sanders. as a filipino.
maybe roman helps him out with the whole embracing-one’s-culture thing. it can be one hell of a struggle at first, but over time it eases. ultimately, the become happy.
p.s. maybe logan and patton, two immigrants from ireland and ukraine, pop up and show virgil the dichotomies of being white immigrants? idk
