#implied nightmares

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Whump dialogue #60

"How I've missed you. It's so good to have you back," Whumper purred, stalking around Whumpee, just a little too close for comfort.

"Yeah, well I haven't missed you at all!" they fired back.

"But I bet you've been thinking about me."

"I... no, I--"

A pressure on their shoulders and a whisper brushed against their ear. "Maybe even been dreaming about me."

[orchidscript]

6. screams across the hall

warnings | angst, suspicion, late night chats, implied nightmares, implied injuries, implied ptsd, trauma survivor, trauma recovery.

~*~*~

Wes rubs his eyes, pushes his reading glasses back up his nose, and studiously ignores the blinking clock on the microwave. He knew by the dry-to-the-touch feeling on the skin of his face that it was nearing two in the morning. He knew by the tightness sitting across the bridge of his nose and in his cheeks. 

He didn’t need to see the stupid numbers on the stupid clock to know that his stupid assignment had taken him the whole damn day to do. That it was tomorrow now, and he still wasn’t done.

Everyone had told him that law school was going to be hard and expensive and exhausting. Everyone told him that it would run him dry and by the time he graduated, passed the bar — if he passed the bar — and finally landed a job, he’d be doing nothing but scut work for the next ten years. 

That public defense was a thankless job and immigration law even more so; that if he wasn’t planning on being a big shot with a highly swappable face or a someday senator, then he should pick something else.

These were meant to be warnings, deterrents. A not-so-kindly delivered or ever at all asked-for set of opinions. He was meant to take their “advice”, and maybe be an accountant like his brother.

Instead, Wes accepted it as the barrier to entry, a necessary evil, and plowed forward. He was meant to take it in stride; put his nose to the grindstone and just get through it. He was prepared for that.

He was not prepared to have to argue day in and day out with idiots backed by lucky duck trust funds who couldn’t tell you anything other than where the nearest Starbucks was. 

He was not expecting each night class to be a fifty-thousand-dollar a year goat rodeo of idiot trust fund babies who couldn’t make their own coffee in the morning or iron their shirts, let alone name a labor union or shambolic mandatory minimum to save their lives.

He wasn’t expecting to walk out of every class period with a fire under his ass and murderously furious.

That’s what had made this paper such teeth pulling. That’s what had made this entire project an exercise in futile hair pulling. It was due in four days and Wes had been working on it for another ten. He’d hardly made a dent in the damned thing. Right about now, scooping his eyes out with a melon baller seemed a preferable task.

Reluctantly and relieved, Wes closes his laptop and leans forward to rub his face in his palms; to press fingertips against his eyes under his glasses. To take a few labored deep breaths and hear his ears ringing in the crushing silence. To let out a good three seconds of a scream that had built up in his chest over the last ten hours. To indulge in how good it feels.

When he comes up for air, Wes hears muffled shattering glass.

Shattered glass, a pained yelp, then muddled silence.

Then sniffling.

He knew someone had moved in across the hallway; knew it the same way that someone knows they repainted a hallway in a building they walk through every day. It isn’t the scent of chemicals or “wet paint” signs, but because of the newly dried shine on the walls. Wes wouldn’t have known the person if he laid eyes on him, but he could sense when they had begun to take up space in the apartment across the hall. The sound of a microwave running. The sound of footsteps. The sound of keys in locks and door hinges swinging open, swinging closed.

Simple signs of life.

Without quite understanding why or how, he rises from the couch and walks to the door. He half remembers to snag his keys on the way out. He forgets his shoes, stepping up to the only other door on that side of the building in sock feet, sweatpants, a tee shirt gone thin at the neckline and underarms. 

Wes knocks on the door and waits.

Waits as the air goes still and apprehensive, tight as a bow string. Waits as whoever is behind the door, carefully approaches, looks through the peephole, and breathes carefully on the other side. Waits until the lock bolt slides in its place, and the knob turns away.

The person revealed is tall, pale with an awkward smattering of freckles like cola splatter across his nose, under their eyes. A shock of snowy blonde hair occupies most of Wes’ attention, followed shortly by the shrunk back suspicion living in their shoulders.

So he starts talking. Quietly. “Hi, hey, sorry. I live across the hall and I thought I heard something break. I wanted to see if everything was alright.”

The person stares at him, confused. Maybe a little delirious. They lean against the door frame, holding the door by the knob half in front of him – defensive, but not agitated. Scared, Wes realized. The person in front of him was afraid of him. 

“Um, hello.” They speak quietly, barely above a whisper. A little strained, a little rough around the edges. “I didn’t realize anyone was awake. I’m sorry, for the noise.”

“It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep or anything,” Wes pushed forward. “I’m a law student. I don’t really sleep like a normal person.”

They nod, a flicker of understanding in their eyes. “I get that.”

Wes nods back. “You are okay, aren’t you?”

“Yeah…” There was hesitation in their tone. Wes waits, calm and patient, until they relax. A fraction of an inch, but something. “Bad dream, woke up and knocked over a water glass. Scared the shit out of me. That’s all.”

“You didn’t step in it?”

They shook their head. “Just missed it. It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Alright, well, if you’re sure.” Wes stuck out his hand. “I’m Wes. If you need anything, just let me know.”

The person stares again at Wes’ hand, the hesitation creeping higher into their eyes. Eventually, they took it. Their fingers were chilled, but the grip was firm. “Lyric. And, erm, same.”

[blak-pawed-stuffed-lion]

I had the urge to do some cross hatching and some dramatic art so I three together this messy sketch and honestly I really like the aesthetic of it.

[lamp-calm-sanders]

Stop This Absurd Reality Chapter Two-The Heart

Pairing: LAMP (Virgil x Patton x Roman x Logan)

Chapter Summary: They aren't really sure where to go from here. And Logan? He's not sure of anything anymore.

T/W: Car Accidents (Mentioned), Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Emotional Abuse, Amnesia, Implied Nightmares, Please Let Me Know If There Is Anything Else You Need Me Too Tag! 

Prologue | Prev | AO3

-

Virgil was pacing across the living room, lost in thoughts. Roman was in on the couch, looking things up on his phone, though you could tell from the obsessive tapping of his foot, that was almost in tandem with the sound of Virgil’s feet as the moved across the room, he was nervous. Patton was cooking dinner but also had the old recipe book out, coking his grandmothers old recipes was  always calming to him and he really needed the calm.

They hadn’t really talked about the state that Logan is in, not yet as it was a daunting thing to acknowledge, even if they knew they had to eventually. But not yet, they weren't ready.

After Patton had finished cooking, he set the food out on the table and called out to the other two that it was ready. They quickly gathered around the table. Though Roman wasn't that hungry, only picking at his food because of he bad feeling in his stomach.  

There was no conversation like their usually was, similar to when the table went quiet after learning the news.

Learning that they would be eating without him for a while.

After about 25 minutes of just sitting there eating, Patton finally spoke up.

"So Logan, and his lack of memory. He really doesn't know us, does he?"

Virgil sighed "He doesn't. I expected the worse and yet still get hurt by him being so confused by the fact that he's in love, by the fact he thought we were joking." He paused for a moment, "By the fact that he doesn't know that he loves us."

They were silent after that, though they all knew that the others were thinking similarly.  The quiet remained for a little bit but then Roman broke it.

"I was looking up ways to restart his memory. I know that that's a little bit out of character for me, but I was trying to act logical like him." He smile slightly,  "I am an actor after all." He was trying to add a bit a levity into this really sad conversation.

Patton nods, "So what did you find?”

Roman perks up a bit “Well there is hope as he has just woken up.” He pauses for a moment, trying to recall what he had read. “What we can do is try to do things that can bring back memories, like show him photo albums, places he knew, things he loved, or really anything he was emotional about.”

The other two listen. Then Patton speaks, “I’ll bring some photo albums when we visit.” He then pauses, a look of concern in his eyes. “Wait, tomorrow is Monday,  you guys have work.”

Realization dawned on the other two’s faces. “Oh gosh your right.” Virgil sighed. He was a writer so usually his schedule was flexible, but he had a very important meeting with his agent that couldn’t be rescheduled. Roman was a teacher and he had a very important day ahead as they had to have their students take a county mandated test.

Patton on the other hand owned a bakery, and even though he tried to be there all the time, he has employees that he can trust to run it in his absence.  

"I can go and see him and explain your absences.  I'm sure he'll be fine."

Virgil hummed and agreement and Roman nodded. "Okay that should be good. Bring some scrapbooks with you and if he asks questions, ask all you can. "

They finished eating after that and Roman and Virgil cleaned up the kitchen. Patton out on baking, and from the way that his fingers twitched, the other two could tell that he was still stressed about this situation.

He choose Logan's favorite; Chocolate Chip cookies with extra chocolate. As well as Thumbprint cookies with Logan’s favorite jam: Crofters. He started to bake, Virgil coming in to assist him while Roman got a few things he needs for school together in the room that had been dubbed "The Office."

After the cookies were baked (And Patton had shooed Virgil away from eating them all) and things were made ready for the next day, they got into bed together, cuddled up, and with a bit more hope in their heart, even if it was scary.

-

Logan awoke the next morning to sound of a nurse entering the room to check in on him. He still looked a bit tired as he hadn't slept well last night. Even if he couldn't remember what he had dream (even if had, he didn't really understand what it was) but it wasn't pleasant, in fact, it was reminiscent of pain.

But he didn't try to sleep again, no there wasn't a point,  he was always the type that found it hard to fall asleep after he has awaken.

After sitting and watching the mindless (and albeit boring) television that played on the screen, he heard someone enter.

That someone being one of his "Husbands" (That was still hard for him to believe), the one who had introduced himself as Patton. He was carrying two bags, one much bigger than the other.

"Hello Logan!" Patton smiled at this.

Logan gave a polite smile, "Salutations Patton. May I ask about what is in those two bags? Also where are the other two."

Patton smile brightened ad put  the bigger one down on the table next to the bed. The other he kept in his lap. He pulled a container out the one on him to show a container filled of what looked like cookies.

"I brought cookies! Your two favorites, Thumbprint Cookies with Crofters Jam and Chocolate Chip Cookies with extra Chocolate. And the other two had work. Virgil had a meeting with his agent and Roman has a class to teach."

Logan observed the cookie. He was right that his favorite sweet as cookies, though he believe in only eating them on special occasions, and he couldn't think of any event that would prompt him to eat them. But he didn't want to be rude so he gave a slight smile. "Thank you Patton. I'm sure they are lovely. And Roman is a teacher then, that is honestly surprising. And an agent? What does Virgil do? And don't you have work as well?"

Patton smiles as he thinks about it. "Most don't expect Roman to be at teacher, but yes he teaches English and Theater. Virgil is an author. He's about to publish another novel and the meeting is with his agent and about how it will be marketed." He then gestures to himself, "And I am owner of a bakery   that's actually a good bit close to here. But since I'm the boss, I have employees that can handle a day without me. I am there most of the time though."

Logan nodded. processing this. This actually pretty fitting for the impressions he had on the three of them. He then gestured to the other bag. "What is in that bag?"

Patton smiled excitedly and got up to put the cookies on a small table for visitors to eat on. He then sat back down on the side by the table where the other bag was.

"Those are the scrapbooks I promised to bring you! There already in order, but if they get mixed up, I put the dates they span on the front page." He then pulled out the one on top ad to the left, "This is the first one we made, which was from about the first year we were together. Though the photos on the cover were from before we met you and Roman" He handed the book to Logan.

"Before you met me and Roman? Had you and Virgil already met?"

Patton nods, "Yep! We were actually boyfriends. He took the photo of me and I took the photo of him that are on the cover of the one you holding onto.”

Logan opened the book to the front page and he could feel Patton smile at the photos on the front cover.

It was four separate photos of each of them. Patton was of smiling brightly, standing in front of what looked like a bakery. He was very tall naturally, so he was at least a head above everyone. Logan compared him to the Patton in front of him, and there wasn’t much change other in the fact that Patton was a good bit bigger in a muscular sense, meaning that he had probably started working out at some point after this photo was taken. He had the same wavy curly hair that was pretty short and his brown eyes were just as bright.  He had on a bright blue shirt with a heart shaped logo on it, as well as the others there. He also had khaki's. His skin was almost pink and much less pale then Logan's.

The photo of Virgil was of him sitting on the couch, holding a book, and even though the smile on his face was small, there was an obvious sense of pride in his eyes. He had eyeliner under his eyes, giving him his signature raccoon look. He was wearing a nice purple dress shirt, that looked good with his light brown complexion and, skinny jeans, but they weren’t ripped and actually looked quite professional. He was tall and somewhat chubby, but he still looked healthy. His hair was very curly and made a slight fringe, which was colored purple though the rest was dark brown, his natural shade. If he could recall the Virgil he met yesterday properly, he also looked similar though he looked slightly chubbier but not unhealthy by any means.

Then there was the photo of Roman. He was standing in front of a stage, next to poster of a school production for a one act play that Logan had never seen before. He was also smiling with pride and he was obviously very happy to be there. He did look tired however, probably was stress. He was shorter than the other two but still taller than Logan, putting him at slightly below average height. He was naturally slim. His eyes were hazel and one might say that there were "stars in his eyes" i he was one for figurative language. He outfit was a red jacket with a white shirt and black pants, which looked nice with his tan complexion. His hair was light brown and straight, it even had one dark red streak in the front, though it was very much off his face.

And finally there was a photo of Logan. He was standing next to a teacher and behind a crowd of students. High school students by the look of it. They were all smiling, though Logan looked like he wanted to be anywhere other than there. And Logan holding the scrapbook was honestly confused on why he was there.

"Why am I with this high school class? Did I donate money to them or their school or something of the like?"

It seemed something had dawned on Patton when Logan had said that."Oh yeah, you wouldn't know what happened."

Logan was starting to get frustrated, what had happened to his life?

"This was when you were a student-teacher in the high school class in order to cut down the time you had to spend in school."

Logan was in shock. There was no way this was happening. "No that can't be, there is no way. I am a lawyer, I was in school to be a lawyer.  I had spent my whole life planning to be a lawyer.

Patton sighed, "Hate to be the one to tell you, but you ended up being a teacher. We met while you were still trying to get your degree. You actually met Roman first, as he taught at the school as well."

Logan didn't say anything. This revelation was almost too much to process.

What was this strange life of his? What had led him to this?

"Do you know why I made this decision or what my parents thought of all of this?"

Patton sighed. "I probably shouldn't be the one to tell you this as I understand the least what it's like, but you and your parents had a falling out. And by the time we met you weren't talking to them. You never liked talking about it, you found "illogical to dwell on what happened" and I can tell you what I do know but you seemed really overwhelmed and I don't want to upset you to much, should we save that for later? Plus, I think overwhelming yourself might hurt you." He then paused. "Of course if you want to know, I'll tell you I can.

Logan just stared off, does he want to now?

Well of course he should, he needs to know all possible information he can get It might be necessary at a later date.

But on the other hand, is he ready. He knew himself, or at least he thought he did. But this information was already so much and Patton had said he can stop if Logan needs time to process, and honestly he's not sure he can handle it at the moment.

"I think it's enough for now."

Logan's answer was surprise to even himself. But wasn't a surprise anymore?

Patton smiles, "I understand."

After that Patton stayed for a bit longer and they made what would be called small talk. Soon enough Patton left to let Logan think and rest. He let the scrapbooks there, though Logan put the first one away after that, not having actually opened it, or any of the other ones for that matter.

Logan thought about this all and he still and so many questions were still were in  his head.

How had he fallen out with his parents? He thought their relationship was good. What had happened to him? And a high school teacher? He didn't think he liked children enough for the job. But here he was.

He almost felt he was in a different reality, one where his life was completely different. And this life was raising so many questions.

He was getting sick of questions.

A/N: Huge shout out to @nerd-in-space  for helping me write and inspiring me! This is my longest chapter yet!! I'm so excited for you guys to read this! Feedback is always appreciated! 

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