Nash’s heart rate was speeding as his eyes opened, shrugging off the hand that gently rested on his shoulder. The words were out of his mouth before he even registered whose hand it was. “Don’t touch me!” He demanded, his tone of voice holding a tinge of fear. As he assessed where he was, Nash’s mind drifted back to what he’d been seeing in his nightmare; what he’d been experiencing. He’d been sent right back to the hellhole where he’d lived with his father.
This was his shared bedroom with Addie, in their apartment. After his eyes darted around the surroundings, he closed them, taking slow breaths. Addie’s voice was gentle nearby, and he took a moment before looking over at her. “Sorry.” The apology was almost a reflex at this point, quiet and shaky. He shook his head as soon as realized he’d said it, but couldn’t really take it back. It had been a while since he’d had a nightmare, so having one now felt like he’d failed at something else, despite the general inability for anyone to control where their minds traveled during sleep.
Pushing the covers on his side away, he had to take another moment. Shifting so he could sit up, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and very discreetly rubbed his eyes. Nash especially hated the fact that one of his emotional reaction upon waking up made him feel so utterly weak. Despite Addie’s reassurances that he could be upset in front of her, he still felt the need to hide some of it. Once a little more composed, he turned to look at her. “I don’t want to keep you up.” Nash said quietly. It was a suggestion that she just go back to sleep while he calmed his mind and nerves.
Addie wished that she could do more, because she knew that just sitting there on the edge of the bed wasn't doing enough for the man that was on the other side, biting her lip for a few seconds as she sighed softly shifting just a little closer to him. She kept her eyes vigilant about how he reacted to the movement, not wanting to startle him or make him pull back into himself as she inched her way close to him.
His words weren't entirely surprising to her, though she wished that his first instinct wouldn't be that he had to handle everything on his own, but to some extent? Addie did understand the fact was that he had spent so many years not have anyone that cared enough for them to push through all of the walls that he had when he would throw them back up. By the time that she made it over to him, Nash was still sitting on the edge of the bed as she put her legs on either side of his hips, letting her chin rest between his shoulder blades.
"You know, you're different with Emma," she said softly, her arms moving up around his waist and her hands resting against his pectorals as she let out a soft sigh. "You are gentle, and so incredibly kind, and just... I've never seen you so singularly focused on anything like you are when you're around her, and that's including me. You, the man who was so determined not to be a father, are a damn incredible father. I don't know what just happened, but you are different with her, and it is a good thing, babe. I just... wanted to remind you of something good."
