in most cases jaesun would say he had things figured out. nothing could catch him off-guard.
“daddy.”
he tries not to look so startled because one, their son is supposed to be sleep. two, he tries to make sure their son is asleep before he lets boxing appear on the television. it’s moving towards nine in the evening and he was almost sure jiyoung would be asleep. haeri didn’t mind much but jaesun was a little obsessive in that sense.
the words come from the side of the counter where sure enough a five-year old jiyoung is peeking up at him. jaesun doesn’t even try to fumble with the remote because their son is at that questioning age. so instead he just reaches down from the island stool and lifts his boy onto his thigh. jiyoung’s growing well for his age but no matter how much he grows jaesun thinks the boy will never get over his dad lifting him up. later on this kind of spoiling will backfire but right now jaesun can’t help but to indulge. especially since their son’s got haeri’s cheeks and doe eyes. jaesun caves every time.
“what’s up kiddo aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”
“he was until he heard you yelling for the match.” he doesn’t need to turn to see haeri emerging from the bedroom most likely ready to strangle him if it weren’t for their son in his lap.
he turns his head back as he enters the kitchen, ready to give her the same eye smile he always does. “I loooooove you light of my life, fruit of my loins, mother of my child.” it’s effective in that she’s smiling as she rummages through the cupboard, no doubt looking for something that’ll help put jiyoung right to sleep. the eternal battle.
“I better be all those things and more.” satisfied with the smile on her face jaesun’s ready to turn his attention back to jiyoung who’s pulling on his shirt.
“daddy daddy daddy, I thought I was the light of your life?” now haeri’s laughing behind the sound of pots and pans and jaesun is wrecking his brain for a response. his hands hold jiyoung’s hips steady as he tries to avoid that look their son gets in his eyes when he asks a question. kids are always so innocent in their pursuit and he almost always goes blank.
“well, you know how the moon gets real bright at night?” he gets a nod, enthusiastic and quick. “mommy’s the moon, you’re the sun.”
“ouch I thought I was the sun.”
“your spot’s been taken yeobo.” he says it while kissing jiyoung’s head and tickling his tummy getting the giggles that can stop any train of thought from coming out.
“wait wait daddy daddy!” never in his life would jaesun think their son would fight so hard to break free from tickles but here he is holding his hand up like a grown-up and jaesun can only blink at him. it’s a goofy grin though, out of the haze he falls in after hearing the laughter of his son.
“mm?”
“I thought it was bad to hit other people?” now he’s blinking more so in confusion and a little concern.
“yes why?” if jaesun had done anything it was drill the lessons into his son’s mind from day one. kindergarten only made him more aggressive in that aspect, not wanting to get a call that jiyoung pushed someone on the playground.
“the people on the tv were fighting and daddy was cheering.” all the early lessons haeri’s mom gave jiyoung whenever he visited were taking their toll early. from the back of the kitchen he hears haeri laughing but his face has gone pale.
“you broke daddy jiyoungie.” he feels his son move on his thigh and grasping at his face with small, chubby hands. no doubt scandalized by the prospect of breaking his father.
“yeobooooooooooo.”
“I can’t hear you I’m making porridge.” it pulls a chirpy yell of joy from jiyoung but doesn’t move him from the subject at hand. the kid is tenacious already, just like his mother.
“sometimes when people fight on the screen. it’s not real.” all he gets is a tilt of the head and he continues, albeit hesitantly. “they’re not hurting each other because they’re mad. remember daddy said when you’re mad not to hit anything or anyone?” now he gets a nod and it helps him continue. “these guys aren’t mad at each other.”
“so why do they fight?”
“because they’re good at it.” he regrets it instantly but jiyong wastes no time.
“if I’m good at fighting I can fight whoever?”
“no no,” jaesun almost panics but he’s waited for this moment. “you remember those kung fu movies we watch?” another nod. “remember how we said it was okay with both people?”
“cause it was entrain---ment?”
“entertainment yes. meaning they are pros.”
“what’s a pro?”
“someone who, can control their emotions. you’re not allowed to do this unless you’re in control of your emotions. all the big boys are pros.” he knows there’s a loophole somewhere in his words but for right now he hopes it’ll hold. jiyoung is looking at the TV with sparkly eyes and a small brain trying to wrap around it.
“jiyoung isn’t a big boy yet?”
“jiyoung is growing into a big boy.” that gets jaesun a smile when he moves to lift his son up and into the air instead. yep, this spoiling is definitely going to backfire.
“when jiyoung is a big boy can he fight?”
“Okay baby come eat your porridge.” like usual haeri is jaesun’s savior, if only letting him drown for a few moments. he puts jiyoung down for him to run over to the table. haeri is by jaesun’s side in a matter of seconds and his arms wrap around her waist. without knowing it jaesun’s heart was beating pretty frantically through the entire ordeal.
“you did good.” haeri’s voice is soft, hoping that their son who is too busy with his food doesn’t hear. he nods into her side finding the comfort he needed. she smells nice too, it’s probably the sugar and cinnamon from the porridge but he doesn’t care. “he’s still young you know. although you made it a little hard for yourself. you could’ve just said it’s a tournament for all the big kids, like in Pokemon. but no mister philosophical.” now jaesun’s laughing, it’s the good kind of laugh. one he needs without knowing he does and it’s one of the reasons he’s thankful for her. truly haeri’s the light in his life.
“you’re tackling the next one.” she shrugs but he knows she’s going to tackle the situation with just as much fervor as him and he’s prepared for it. they’re new to this parent thing still but he thinks they’re both excited enough to get through it.
“jiyoung I know you’re making whirlpools in your food but if you spin it quick and put it in your mouth you’ll get whirlpool powers.” haeri smacks him. they’re both laughing though as the sound of the bowl against the table dims down. “If you ever want to fight please talk to daddy first okay?”
“okay daddy!”
the porridge finishes in about fifteen minutes with haeri pacing jyoung after the chaos jaesun caused. that leaves jaesun cleaning the table and the dishes as she takes their son to bed. the night finishes like every other, chaos handled or chaos averted. every night won’t be as tricky, every question won’t be as easy but jaesun thinks they’re getting the hang of this. things would still catch him off-guard but he’s got haeri and quite frankly he thinks he can take it all.
“I love you.” Haeri giggles, buries her face in his shirt and jaesun is on top of the world. For the past thirty minutes they’ve been doing nothing but laying in bed. Ten minutes ago it’d been in the position they woke up in, with her pressed against his chest and searching for warmth more than anything. Now he was on top of her, the top of the duvet covering the part of her face that flushed the most.
“Jaesun shut up.” In other circumstances she’d say more. In other circumstances she’d hit him or push him away instead of hiding under the covers. He thinks that she’s probably feeling it too. The high. High off one another, high off the feeling of bodies and love and lust combining in a night. High off the feeling of sun seeping through the window and still unable to match their warmth. Intoxicated off their warmth, that’s what they are. His chest swells each time she laughs whether it’s small or large his chest tightens and swells at the same time and if she weren’t before him he’d probably die. Except he won’t, because he’s searching for that smile again and giving a dopey smile each time he sees it.
As much as he’d like to, they never get these moments. Mornings are always stolen by schedules. Whether it’s Jaesun being whisked away to practice or Haeri being whisked away to lessons they both never feel the joy of early mornings together. If they do it’s fleeting with either one clinging to it before the other wakes up. With them kissing each other goodbye or hurrying kisses before time steals them away.
Winter hits and Jaesun expects free time but he gets packed responsibilities. He gets days he never thought he’d see again, with both of them barely meeting each other under the morning sun. He doesn’t complain he just smiles that smile when she’s kissing him goodbye or holds onto her lips for a few more seconds before he’s really running out. He’s traded his mornings for afternoons and free days, he’s traded his mornings for stability and that’s okay. But he dreams of them often and today is one such day where the dream becomes reality.
Jaesun doesn’t forget the night before, when the stress of schedules seeps out their bones and instead desperation takes over. He doesn’t forget practically backing Haeri onto the bed and swallowing any excuses as fast as they come. He doesn’t forget her complying, her arching and calling his name into the air, apartment walls accepting them with desperate thirst.. He doesn’t forget any of it. Maybe that’s why he’s so giddy right now, maybe that’s why she’s acting so shy, duvet covering parts of her body he’d traveled just hours before.
“I love you.”
“I know.” She’s probably rolling her eyes but he’s too busy humming and playing with the sides of her stomach he can feel through the sheet. She doesn’t squirm much, but her legs do a good job of trying to kick him from where he is. He’s firm in his hold because he’s enjoying it way too much to yield now. Haeri’s warm, warm even through the sheets, warm as she was last night and as warm as she makes his heart.
Small nips gnaw against the fabric, playing, searching and attempting to claim a spot but it’s all for show. It’s all to get the laughter out his lips and his own lips up and onto hers where they belong. Haeri’s not so small under him really. She’s got him wrapped and if anything he feels himself wanting to shrink against her. He doesn’t though, he just looks down at her, hands now pressed flat into the mattress, eyes locked. There are words, tons of words sitting on his lips and even more swimming in his eyes. But he sees her, flushed, pretty as always the bare skin of her shoulder peeking up as a reminder. His hands grip, willpower settled by a desire to just look and admire.
“God,” So many things to say, so many things to explain and instead he lets the only thing he can slip out. “I love you.”She’s smiling under the parts she’s hidden by the blanket and Jaesun doesn’t mind, it’s a smile he’s memorized for days when he can’t see it. Today he can hold it and claim it and she’s choosing to hide it and it’s really not fair. He smiles down at her anyway.
“I know.” She does. Well he hopes she does. He tries to make sure she does because what kind of boyfriend would he be? Jaesun’s never good at emotion and when it spills it tends to spill at the way out. He’s never been too shy with affection but he’s shy with words so the switch is noticeable and it startles her he can tell. It startles him too but it’s pleasant, a gentle rumble he tries not to think about and just push through. So he smiles at her words and nuzzles his nose against her, lips a few seconds from giving in.
“Yeah but in an alternate universe there are versions of you I probably haven’t said it to yet so I’m saying it for them.”
“That’s lame.”
“That’s love.”
And if his words aren’t enough he shows her again. All over her face, eyelids, lips, cheeks and forehead. Kisses, kisses and more kisses. Smiles, laughters and touches. Everywhere and anywhere. All morning and into the afternoon. Jaesun repeats against every part of her body he can and his chest expands and they become one again.
“jaesun.” sometimes the way haeri says his name jaesun’s sure it was made just to come out her mouth. she’s not that tired but it seems to drawl out her lips slowly. it’s still early and he’s still blinking back sleep and the aftereffects of a shower that didn’t really wake him up. he’s not really complaining.
“jaesun.” she says his name like this more often. it’s that annoyance that’s more so a front to hide the blush on her cheeks or the embarrassment.
“mm?” she’ll say it when she can stare him in the eye and look away as soon as he makes eye contact. she says it to mean several things and sometimes nothing at all and he gets a swell of pride knowing that he can tell which is which.
for the most part they haven’t moved. he’s still sitting at the edge of the bed and up until ten minutes ago she’d been standing between his legs fumbling with the towel on his head.
early morning runs have never been a favorite of hers, he’s usually met with her throwing a towel at him complaining about how she had to wake up with a cold breeze. he doesn’t do it as often anymore but today was an exception. there’s no special occasion really, he just felt the need to get up and run. it’s when he’s coming out that he finds her leaning against the doorway still half asleep and covered in his t-shirt. five minutes are spent running back and forth, his hair still shaggy and wet and her laughter echoing through the apartment.
jaesun conceded first, too tired to continue and let her push him in the room with orders to dry off his hair and the rest of his body before he got any closer. he did it quite lazily too and he knows with the cold air circulating the room and the look she gave him from her stance at the doorway he should hurry up. patience as anyone knows isn’t haeri’s strong point so it’s only a few more moments before she hurried over and proceeded to towel dry his hair on her own. that brings them to the present, him looking up at her with small droplets still clinging to his hair and her hips in his hands.
he’s just been sitting like this, smiling silly at her and holding her tight. maybe she’s flushing from the proximity, maybe she’s still a hot from all the running. jaesun doesn’t know but he won’t ask. he’s just thinking about it. thinking about things like how gentle her face looks when she’s alive, and really alive. after moving around so much and bursting from the seams she looks brighter than ever, softer and he doesn’t know what to do with himself so he keeps his hands firm.
he’s beside himself with wonder. he took a shower to wake himself up but he feels like he’s floating, like the body atop him isn’t real, none of it is real but he presses himself closer to make sure it is. she’s got her legs on either side of his body, thighs pressed up against him and she’s not complaining.
“jaesun.”
“mm.”
“stop it.”
oh that’s right. he’s staring. he’s staring pretty damn hard. he’s rubbing circles in the parts of her body he’s memorized, the small dip of his hips. he could move down and give them the attention they deserve, highlight the fact that they’re not covered by anything really. he doesn’t though. he just looks up at her, gaze shifting from his shirt to her hair, noticeably shorter and her face. wow her face.
whenever she tells him to stop it she gets this pretty flush on her cheeks and he’s mentioned it plenty of times before. he doesn’t tease her as much about it either because he finds he likes it. he likes tracing it with his thumbs, kissing her cheeks and feeling her nose pull against his when he does. he doesn’t do that though, he just lets his chest warm at the memory and the idea that he can.
there’s her nose too. jaesun talks about her nose all the time but never really explains what’s so cute and endearing about it. he’s never had the time to think about it and it’s never seemed so simple until now. nothing has really seemed this simple actually. how he’s pretty sure the windows in the room are closed but everything around her is hazy but so clear it’s glaring. how she brings the steam from the shower with her, in her hands, in her body and surrounds him with it. love’s kind of like that isn’t it? a hazy feeling that’s glaring? he can’t describe it but he wants to hold onto it.
he hasn’t let go of her either. she hasn’t made a move to but he probably won’t. he’s going to hold her and hold her and probably cry at the fact that he doesn’t have to let go. he’s going to hold her and marvel that at everything he now knows, the curves and the rough edges and the gentleness of it all. love is like that too maybe? gentle in caress but it hits him like a brick, kind of like it’s doing now.
“jae-----”
“I love you.”
or a train. a train works too.
sometimes when haeri focuses too much she goes a little cross-eyed. when her brows furrow at him as naturally as breathing and he just continues looking up. he hasn’t moved at all and he doesn’t know if she’s even tried moving.
“I know you do you dummy. I love you too.”
“Yeah but I mean? I love you. Like. I really fucking love you and it’s kinda crazy and I kinda feel like I can’t breathe but that’s cool.”
“It’s because you went running before the birds were even up.”
he’s rambling and she’s shortening. he’s a little everywhere with his words and she’s trying to spit out that one sentence and this must be what love is too. becoming parts of one another, growing. haeri’s rawness in honesty and jaesun is striking silence yet here he is being brutally honest and here she is being silent.
“I mean I wouldn’t mind going up for a run like this if you’re always here when I get back.” and there it is. he’s still giving her this dopey look, his smiles are always lazy, sometimes a little crooked but always full that it covers his entire face.
“Jae----- jaesun, I have morning lessons you know? I won’t always be here.”
“I know but, one day you won’t have morning lessons you know? And one day you won’t have to worry about leaving the bed. Or worry about when I’m coming back.” The spill is so easy he sort of understands why Heeri is a bit like that. He feels lighter. He’s swirling between reality and possibilities. Everything’s blurred but it’s nice and he’s not stopping.
“You expect me to wait for you all day?”
“No I expect you to come back home.” Haeri has a few pauses here and there but for the most part he’s buried her fists in his shirt and her head in his neck. He doesn’t move to look at her he just holds her. He continues to hold her until they’ve fallen back on the bed, hair finally dry and head finally out the clouds. The fall back doesn’t ground him really, and neither do her shuffles in his arms. It’s a little unbelievable, the feeling he gets from her just being in his arms, just being close and being her. He’s a little greedy, he wants to do this every morning but he settles for all this morning and maybe tomorrow too. Even when he’s full his heart just seems to grow each time. Jaesun thinks he’ll never quite get enough.
“You know your stomach’s growling right?”
“Shut up.”
They don’t spend all morning like that because eventually they do get up to eat. He doesn’t really need to hear much from her, aside from the fact that she stays attached to his hip with every move he makes in the kitchen. The fact that they lay in bed for another hour of her stomach growling is enough for him to know she’s okay with having every other morning like this too. when haeri calls his name after he nearly lets to food burn so he can tickle her, well jaesun’s sure there was a lot more than his name that was made for her. his mornings, his hugs, his love. all made for her. all hers to claim.
It’s no secret between the group of friends that jo is a very strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even bother saying it she just has a fair rap sheet of all the people she’s turned down that have effectively proven it. She’s not even doing it on purpose she just doesn’t see the value in it. Not relationships, but giving boys the time of day. So yes everyone knows jo doesn’t need a man however, no one has said anything about the pretty sophomore who caught her eye.
jo is her own person first and foremost. she’s stubborn and blunt, reckless and has no filter. she does what she wants, say what she wants and occasionally hits who she wants. so the fact that she of all people is whipped is hilarious to say the least.
( “hey jo here comes jinnie.” jaesun’s got this smirk on his face. the same one he always wears when he mentions the sophomore and jo’s got this determined edge to ignore him. she’s sitting across him at the cafeteria table, sketching and paying him no mind. haeri is busying her mind in a handheld but he knows where this will lead.
the sandy brunette bounces over to the table, always to jo’s side before anyone else. she starts with taking a peek at the female who remains busy with her work. “hey guys.” jinnie’s got a gentle voice, the kind that jo can only reach early in the morning or when she’s high. it’s one of the things jaesun is sure puzzled him at first.
the switch is probably the funniest thing. see jaesun didn’t need to warn jo about jinnie. every tuesday jinnie has calculus level three and gets out right as they start eating. jo never used to eat with them until she figured this out but no one could get her to admit it. anyway jo’s pretty much memorized the time it takes for jinnie to get from her class to the cafeteria and she would know the voice anywhere. that’s not the funny part. the funny part is, how quickly jo switches from nonchalance to looking up instantly at jinnie with undivided attention.
“hey jinnie.” jo’s voice rises at least two notes and her eyes do that sparkle thing that she teases jaesun for. the nerve. jaesun makes a move to laugh but haeri’s elbowing him, eye still glued to her game. no fun really.
“what’re ya drawing?” jinnie’s always got this sweet way of talking. whereas jo is a little slurred and pushed together for a rough slang, jinnie’s are muffled in layered sweetness. it’s kinda cute how the two mesh really. what’s even cuter is how jo scrambles to cover the sketchbook with really no finesses at all. he wants to laugh but haeri kicks him under the table this time.
“ah it’s um, ’s not done. can’t show a masterpiece before it’s done y’know?” jo’s words become even more mashed and even more slurred despite the obvious effort she tries to make them clear. it’s really so fcking funny from jaesun’s perspective. jinnie only smiles her smile and jaesun can practically see jo shrink in the seat.
she’s melting this is gold.
“well show me when it’s done okay? I gotta go but you guys are still coming to the party this weekend right?” jaesun opens his mouth but haeri beats him to it.
“jo’s going but she needs a ride because jaesun and I aren’t going anymore.” first of all jaesun was sure hell going to that party. up until two seconds ago. he doesn’t have time to whine and it’s useful because haeri still hasn’t looked up from her game.
“ah I’ll come by your place then, we can get ready together yeah?” jo lets out something like a yeah sure and jinnie’s smiling again before she waves them off. one she’s out of earshot jaesun observes the silence. there’s a few things to address. how for one haeri let him have absolutely no fun with the situation. how jo was still drooling after jinnie minutes after she’d gone and how he really wanted to go to that party.
“you’re whipped.” it takes him two seconds to dodge the pencil case thrown at his head.
“shut up if haeri so much as said jaesun bark you’d do it.”
“not true.”
“jaesun say woof.” and he’s really an idiot because he looks at her and has the audacity to go, “woof?” his body betrays him in the most important moments. haeri’s still not looking at him but smiling over her screen. jo leans over and squishes his cheeks with the same ferocity she’d lost in those five minutes.
“awwwww who’s a good boy. what a good boyfriend do you want a cookie.”
“if jinnie so much as ate a pineapple you’d be drooling so hard you’d end the drought in california.”
“you’re nasty.”
“you’re whipped.”
“am not.”
“jo I love you but you’re whipped.”
just like that jo reaches for the sketchbook she didn’t even know haeri stole covering the very obvious, very flattering sketch of jinnie. just like that she sinks back into silence muttering something about a traitorous friend and jaesun loves his girlfriend all over again. )
“jinnie says I can’t kiss you anymore.”
jo’s come over to the table with a lot of things before. some things that make jaesun spit out his food, or his milk. he’s learned to try and eat the most he can before she arrives really. he’s heard enough of her midnight escapades honestly. the things he puts up with for his girlfriend. haeri makes a hum that she could care less and jo’s sitting at the table all giddy like she just got through talking to jinnie, which she probably did.
“i’ve been telling you to stop kissing haeri since like last year.”
“please haeri wasn’t nearly as in love with you last year for that to even work.” he’s not sure but he can kinda tell haeri’s already kicked jo from the small fuck that leave’s her lips. “anyway look haeri this is serious jinnie said I can’t kiss you anymore.”
“okay.” anyone should know trying to get anything out of haeri while she’s playing a game is pointless. in between classes ( or hell during classes ) is her time and haeri doesn’t even know why they try. sometimes she’ll yield like when jo’s really upset or jaesun’s really clingy but it only lasts a few minutes. the table is left to the two bickering while she plays but it’s also how jo and jaesun learned to tolerate one another.
“no no you don’t get it how am I supposed to get my daily dose of haeri now?” jo’s sprawled out on the table now, making grabby hands at haeri who doesn’t bat an eyelash. jaesun swats at one and jo raises a plastic knife in his direction as if to say do it again. “I only kiss your cheeks now anyway and she said none, no kisses, ahhhhhhhhhh this is unbelievable.”
“what’s unbelievable is that you’re okay with it.”
that ends the tantrum for a few seconds with jo’s attention now on him. it’s not like normal, irritated or ready to snap. it’s just a few blinks and confusion and jaesun is taken back for a second. “well, yeah? she said it and I’m not going to just say no.”
“did you ask her why?” it’s the longest thing haeri’s said since jo arrived and really it’s funny how quick jaesun’s head turns to look at her. now jo’s blinking at her and haeri doesn’t need to lift her eyes to know.
“why what?”
“why she said no more kisses.”
“because you kiss haeri so much people thought you were dating.”
“no jaesun you don’t kiss her enough is what the problem is.” jaesun opens his mouth and jo raises a fork this time and haeri just laughs. she’s laughing away a blush, both of them can tell but don’t say anything. there are bigger matters at hand apparently.
“so you just agreed without hearing the explanation?” is what haeri says, this time setting her handheld down finally and jo looks back up at her with that same dumbfounded expression.
“well.....yeah?” how she can be this dense is unbelievable but jaesun is too busy wrapping his arms around his girlfriend to say anything this time. he just watches the scene unfold. haeri leans forward, practically cooing at the other and squishing jo’s cheeks in her hands.
“awwwwwwww. you’re whipped.” jaesun takes the cue to laugh and meanwhile jo is just sitting with a look of realization and newfound acceptance.
“fuck I guess I am.” but she’s smiling and jaesun probably won’t hear anymore about how whipped he is with this new revelation.
( “so how was the party?” haeri’s the first to speak, meanwhile wrapping one hand over jaesun’s mouth while the other plays with her phone. his nose crinkles but he knows better and sees jo sit down. he’s not sure if his girlfriend’s noticed the presence of jinnie beside jo but he doesn’t comment. not because he can’t but because he’s a little shit.
“we didn’t go.” jo doesn’t sound the least bit upset though. she doesn’t really look here either, distracted kind of but she makes no attempt to hide it.
“oh?” haeri talks like jo didn’t text her asking everything, like jo didn’t call her the morning after. they talk like haeri wouldn’t know from taking one look at jo what had went on. but jaesun knows nothing so they figure it’s fun to go over it again.
“yeah when jinnie showed up we decided not to go.”
“what was wrong with the party?” haeri’s finally let go of jaesun’s mouth, if only to let her hand hit her forehead because honestly all the time he spends with her and her common sense hasn’t rubbed off yet?
“nothing.” jinnie speaks up now. it’s a new addition to the atmosphere but it fits well. easy. jinnie knows the two well, she had math with haeri the year before and has a few friends on the basketball team. she’s real nice, has this quick fire to her that only people close to her see but everyone eventually gets a taste of if they push hard enough.
“We just lost track of time.” jo’s quick to respond and is that,
“are you blushing is this real life?” haeri doesn’t even make a move to kick jaesun at this point she’s laughing. jinnie’s laughing too but she’s playing with jo’s cheeks and honestly jaesun would be damned if he wasn’t ready to break the telepathy going on between the girls but he’s honestly a little dumbstruck. “are you seriously blushing what the hell.”
“jaesun shut the fuck up.” jo would reach over to smack him as usual and he’s shrinking to haeri’s side quickly but everything stops when jinnie’s hands slide over the girl’s shoulders, hands clasped around her neck and head leaning into the other side.
“we really gotta work on your self-control.” jinnie says it but she’s smiling, fondly, secretly.
“you should talk.” at this point haeri is sputtering, practically dying and jaesun is still lost.
“my self control is marvelous.” jaesun makes a move to say something, everything he possibly can because that’s a fucking lie but,
“tell that to my costume.” jinnie says that and everything clicks. haeri is dying, jo is red, jinnie’s grinning a cheshire grin and jaesun is in disbelief.
“it was a costume party?” he manages those words out and when jinnie looks at him he wishes he hadn’t.
“yep, I was going as a victoria secret angel. since you know that’s what I want to be soon.” and she says it so innocently that jaesun almost, almost doesn’t get the implications but jo’s face is darker this time and he may be a little dense but this is a language he understands well.
“so you showed up.....to get ready at jo’s place.” the need to lay it out is unnecessary but he thinks he’s doing it just for the sake of seeing jo squirm. because as much as she glares daggers into him she’s still under jinnie’s hold and at this point, spell.
“yep got changed there and everything.”
“and you......oh.....oh damn.”
“honestly i’m surprised I thought jo would have more self-control than jo but.” now jaesun’s sputtering looking at haeri with a kicked puppy look and practically whining out his words.
“what does that mean.”
“it means, if you saw haeri in a victoria secret outfit she’d probably make it out the house because you’re a shy little bitch.”
“speak for yourself. ‘oh hi jinnie, sure sure I’ll go jinnie, hey jinnie what’s up, you need help getting to class?’” jaesun’s halfway through the impersonation before jo is lunging at him and he has to damn near jump out his seat to avoid her claws. he’s laughing though, haeri is laughing too and now jinnie is the red one calmly pulling jo back to her seat and kissing her cheek rather quickly.
“stop she’s cute.”
“you’re the cute one.” it’s mumbled but jaesun gags only flinching at the glare and sticking closer to haeri when jo does glare.
“glad you two are a thing now jo can shut the hell up.” that has jo whining haeri’s name quickly but jinnie smiling and jaesun honestly thankful for her presence.
“glad you’re a thing because you here means jo won’t hit me as much.” jo makes a motion to ask why but jinnie simply shrugs and haeri snorts in agreement. they all know why. it shows in how easily jo slips into jinnie’s hold, how pliant her arms go midway into lunging at jaesun and how she practically dips into the female’s words.)
jo is an independent woman who doesn’t need a man but she melts at the first look from jinnie. she is without a doubt, whipped.
“Do you have enough shirts?”
“Yeah mom.”
“Got enough underwear.”
“Yes mom!”
“Packed all your toiletries, so help me if you forgot your toothbrush!”
“Done and done.”
“....money, license....car keys....?”
“Mom I have it all can I go now, I’m gonna be late.”
For all the assurance that Jaesun gives his mother the pout and ridiculous movements against the seat contributes in her thinking exactly the opposite. It’s very easy for her to get worried, she takes a lot of pride in knowing she’s raised Jaesun on her own but insecurities are a human thing and they run rampant in her head. Years later and she’s still coddling him for all the times that she didn’t. It’s still pretty early, the summer sun not quite hitting the concrete and sleep still hitting her eyes. Jaesun thinks his mom looks best when she’s not stressed, and he can’t imagine a better time to give her some time off. He’s not doing this for her really but it’s a side perk he can indulge in. He’s smiling because he knows she’s just going through her motherly spill but he’s excited, he’s feet tapping incessantly against the accelerator. When he’d first learned to drive she’d smacked him several times for the habit, now she learned to accept it.
“God I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.” He can’t either. She’s dragging a hand down her face, burying it back in her nightgown. The same hand that was shuffling through his suitcase asking if he had everything. The same hand he had to force from carrying things to the trunk. He smiles as sleep tries to rid itself from her face. She’s trying to hard to be awake for the moment and he’s only mildly lucky she forgot the camera. He doesn’t think it’s so serious as all that.
“You won’t be if you don’t let me go.” He’s smiling. Jaesun and his mom share that, the lazy-annoyed with one another fond smile. For a second it makes them that parent-sibling duo that are close as best friends. That joke with one another and tell each other everything. He gets his eye smile from his dad but they share this smile together. It’s got a lot in it. It’s got her worries and his nervousness, it’s got their trust, their years together, their playful personalities and the love. it’s always got the love. It’s also his cue to start back up the engine or he won’t be going anywhere. “I’ll be fine, I have my chargers and everything. I’ll call you as soon as we make a stop.” She’s on the other side of the car, by the passenger seat so she can’t reach over to kiss him like she would. Smother him and embarrass him like she would. It’s the reason he decided to leave first. “I’ll be fine.” He repeats over the engine and she nods like she’s known all along. It’s the best kind of reassurance he gets from her.
“If anything happens Kwon Jaesun-------” The car moves forward. “Bye!”
“Wait wait----” it stops. “Did you pack condoms------!!!!” The car surges. “God mom bye!”
Yeah there’s definitely a reason he decided to pick her up instead of bringing her here.
He’s not nervous. He’s not. Not nervous in the slightest. Nervousness has no domain in these parts. These are the things Jaesun tells himself when he’s about to face the dragon. A few years back the dragon meant his fears of speaking to his now girlfriend. Before she became his girlfriend he would trip over his feet and stumble over his words and forget to lock every thought in his throat. Back then the dragon even meant talking to his girlfriend. He would still let his words tumble but a little easier, less clumsier, but they were still unrefined and they were still young, fresh tears from fragile hearts was a weekly occurrence.
He’s not past that but he thinks he’s above being worried about it. This long into the relationship jaesun’s pretty comfortable with handling what haeri dishes out. Even if it’s not right in the moment he’s confident knowing he can handle it because he’ll do anything to make it work and she will too. That’s not the problem. Haeri isn’t the dragon. No, haeri is the treasure the dragon is protecting and as far as the dragon is concerned he’s a pillaging good-for-nothing thief. By way of perspective Jaesun would say the dragon was fair to see him however they wished. The dragon being of course, Haeri’s mother.
This is not to say Haeri’s mother is some big, towering, overbearing beast with scales and claws and looking like a reptile. However, Jaesun has a habit of calling Haeri things he would never admit out loud and next to a mother he doesn’t know anything else that protects something close to them so fiercely than well, a dragon. Haeri told him to work on his comparisons. He’s trying.
He’s been sitting outside for about ten minutes now. Jaesun could get out the car but her house even now has this odd forcefield that he needs permission to pass through. He can hear it now, ‘Wow Haeri your boyfriend didn’t even come out to get the bags’. He’s more worried about that than the comments they’d make about his car. It was decent. Big enough to fit the both of them but it had to be big enough to fit their bags and half the backseat has snacks. The point is it’s not exactly a luxury sports car and he’d felt stunted enough when he drove into her neighborhood with it. It works for what they have in mind and that’s all that matters.
He still hasn’t left the car, he’s spent the last few second sending her text messages.
( kkt: outgoing )
- i’m outside!
( kkt from: hae now hae now this is what dreams are made of )
- come in now before my mom kills you
( kkt: outgoing )
- anyway I’m outside
( kkt from: hae now hae now this is what dreams are made of )
- come up here before I kill you
- actually come out here before I change my mind
- i’m serious I can still spend vacation at our resort
truthfully speaking jaesun’s never got out the car faster. he would love to trudge, hands in his cargo shorts and a pout full on his face but he’ll be ripped apart where he stands. he doesn’t even attempt to puff out his chest or anything like that, in fact it’s a hell of a lot harder to pretend he’s calm. there are several other times that this walk has practically stolen the breath out his throat. For instance, the first time he walked her home. Or when he walked her home and they were no longer just friends. The first date which they hadn’t even intended on being a date. Nothing will top the night he brought her back past curfew and thought his load ass engine wouldn’t wake up half the neighborhood. Then there’s prom night. This walk has troubled him for years but he manages a glide to his steps.
The door pops open as soon as he reaches and of course he’s greeted with three bags shoved in his hand and a ‘Was starting to wonder if you’d really make her carry her bags by herself’. There it is.
“Nice to see you too Haemin.” He means it too except he’s trying to get a good grip on the bags in his hand. This family lives on testing him, and not in the irritated kind of way in the we’re going to put you through so many trials that even your wedding day you’ll be nervous. He thanks his extended training before summer for the ease that helps him lift one bag over his shoulder and two in his hands. He’s getting stared down, reviewed and for what he’s not even sure. Jaesun’s stopped guessing honestly.
“So, a week and a half.”
“Give or take.”
“Got enough power in that car?”
“It’s not as old as it looks.”
“Got enough money for gas.”
“I worked two jobs this year.”
“Got enough money for snacks?”
“Of course? Whose boyfriend am I."
On cue she pops out. There she is. Love of his life. Nala to his Simba. Fruit of his lo------ “That’s the car we’re taking?” Jaesun groans. Haemin laughs. Haeri fucking giggles. He swears he hears Haerim laughing somewhere in the back.This family thrives on this he swears.
“Ba------ Haeri please------” He was so close to calling her the nickname she hates. So close. “I needed my mom’s old one to fit everything.” He feels his ears turning red already. The car really isn’t that bad. Seoul’s not really a place of big cars unless it’s vans, but the SUV is most definitely an American thing, trucks are a close second. It doesn’t look old just out of place, hippish. It’s forest green courtesy of his mom wanting to be even more hippish than before. It’s perfect to the occasion but not for elevating boyfriend status. At this point he shouldn’t try.
“No no it’s not bad Jaesun relax. I didn’t even say anything it’s cute I like it. I love it. Relax you big baby, if you’d come here with some sports car I would’ve killed you. I’m glad my common sense is rubbing off on you.” Fruit of his loins indeed. Jaesun’s following behind her, the image of a kicked puppy starting to fade from his shoulders as he hikes up the trunk and she peeks all around the car. “Are all those snacks? Oh my god Jaesun you stopped and bought snacks for me?” It’s only in the midst of the fire in his ears dying down that he takes to observing what his girlfriend’s wearing and oh yeah it’s summer. That and she practically throws herself at him after discovering the pile of snacks in the backseat. Heat rushes from his ears right to his face and well his chest because it’s starting to get hot and he hasn’t been out that long for the sun to peek out but there it is wrapped around him in a fit of giggles and thank you’s.
“Yeah, we don’t have much time to stop so I figured it’s early you’d need something to eat. I don’t want to be driving in the heat too long either.” He tries to speak as calmly as possible what with her choking the life out of him but also the frills of the dress sucking the blood from his face. In normal circumstances Jaesun wouldn’t be concerned about where to put his hands and for a moment he forgets, his hands slipping naturally to the small of her back and significantly lower, fingers losing the fight of temptation to play with the skirt hem.
“Wanna know the best part of the jeep?” He’s a little intoxicated for the moment. His words come out low, soft like morning dew. He doesn’t need to hear a response to know he has one. “All the bags can fit in the backseat. And we can push the seats forward and make a mini tent in trunk.” It takes willpower to stop her from bouncing in his hold. Years of dealing with this boundless energy and years of becoming more and more fond of it. There’s the praise she’s giving as she bounces too and he really doesn’t want it to end but the moment isn’t completely theirs and Jaesun probably forgets.
“Mom Jaesun’s fondling your daughter!” This fucking family. Haeri doesn’t even move, she’s doing it on purpose he’s sure. He hears the laughter that she stifles in his neck as his head falls in defeat over her shoulder. He hears a chorus of laughter when his hands reluctantly jump back to her back. Jaesun almost doesn’t dare look up, almost but he hears a very distinct, ‘Kwon Jaesun’ and he has to.
“Hi Mrs. Lee.” There’s a certain, permanence in how he keeps hugging her while glancing over at her mother. Haeri’s mother he discovers is ten times scarier to catch him hugging her than her father. Being caught giggling, tossing and turning in her room by her dad or her brothers was always embarrassing but by her mother? Jaesun could count how many times he’s died.
She’s standing in the doorframe with looks that have already killed him a million times before their eyes meet. “Hello jaesun. I hope I haven’t made the wrong decision in letting Haeri wear her new summer clothes on this trip. I don’t want them getting dirty what with your, rambunctious behavior.” Jaesun is sure he’s died again. He swallows and Haeri’s laughing so hard she has to pull away.
“Mom rambunctious?!” ( as if that’s the only thing she finds wrong with the phrase ) haeri echoes her own brother, but not before Jaesun gives Haerim when they approach, taking the last two bags from the doorstep. He doesn’t meet Haeri’s mother’s gaze, not yet. The two are engaged in a conversation. no doubt the same spiel Jaesun’s mother gave him before he left. Haeri gives her mom the quick nods and the small roll of her eyes that’s so characteristic of the two. She’s bouncing with energy and her mother responds with the patience impatience that astounds Jaesun to this day.
“Mom I got it. I’ll be safe. We’ll be safe, we gotta go before the sun gets too high. We’ve got places to go people to see things to do!” Literally. Haeri gets a few hugs from her brothers, a kiss from her dad and another speech from her mother that leaves her turning red and bounding for the car door. Jaesun only stares, shutting the trunk and seeing a look of disapproval on her mother’s face.
“Haeri did you hear me?” She doesn’t need to raise her voice to be heard but she doesn’t need to be loud to be heard. Jaesun swears she’s a dragon. He’s leaning against the car door, girlfriend cooped up in the passenger seat and doing all she can to block out the words. “Lee Haeri.”
“Haeri, mom said don’t forget protection!” For the fourth time today Jaesun dies in Haeri’s driveway.
“Kwon jaesun take care of my daughter.” She doesn’t need to add to the speech everything that she used to. Jaesun’s memorized it and built a strong defense to her words. He just slips into the passenger seat, smiling and waving after he responds with a, “Always, Mrs. Lee.”
“Go go go go go before they think of something else.” he would’ve stepped on the gas faster but what with his promise they both have to ease a little too slowly out the driveway. Haeri does give her mom final waves, it’s all apart of who they are and he’s already smiling in her direction. He’s caught in the act and he doesn’t even care. “What?” he shrugs against the seat.
“I’m excited.”
Haeri smiles. Not for the first time since he’s arrived but for the first time in this way since they’ve seen each other. In their own way. The private, you’re a dork and I’m your dork kind of smile. Their smile. Their love.
“Now let’s see what kind of snacks you got me.”
“Oh my god Jaesun we’re not listening to that.”
“Eyes on the road I know I look cute don’t kill us.”
“Who even let you get a license what are you doing.”
Haeri doesn’t really need to say it because he knows.
“it’s not my fault.” she was shameless. jaesun wasn’t having any of it.
scene? they’re in the bedroom. it’s one of those rare saturdays when jaesun has work off and no training. one of those rare days where he doesn’t really want to lay in bed all day and cuddling isn’t the reason he’s hovered above her on the bed. see usually he’s pressed against her without any coaxing of any kind but days like today with her hands fastened around his neck and tugging him closer it’s certainly a day for firsts.
“haeri.” he meant to speak it tight-lipped and serious. he was trying to be serious. it was a serious day. it was a cleaning day! jaesun had thankfully picked up his cleanliness from his mother however he didn’t always have the time to show it off. seeing as his mother was always out and working and couldn’t watch him she made sure he didn’t fall into his teenage ways by leaving the house and his room a mess. it was his ass if he didn’t keep his room spotless and the dishes out the sink. he was serious about cleaning when he had the time to be and right now he did. he was in the middle of doing laundry when the situation at hand came about.
“haeri.”
“jaesun.”
on cue jaesun’s nose wrinkles. haeri wants to laugh so she does. it’s not as loud as it could be and falls light between their faces. the situation is if anything amusing. the sound makes his nose pull in even further, a habit he’d probably acquired from her and he thinks she might understand the fascination he has with her own nose now because she keeps kissing his. but now’s not the time to melt into the kisses against his face, she tried that five minutes ago and that’s how they ended up where they were. he can’t be weak! he can’t give in! it’s honestly a pretty difficult predicament because everything else in the apartment is cold save for her lips against his skin. he perseveres.
he’d walked in the bedroom after calling her name what he thought was about ten times and she’d been busy with a handheld (of course), so immersed that she didn’t notice him calling her until he obstructed her view with a shirt. it was a desperate move he’d probably never ever do again. he’d been whining about the ruined shirt for about two minutes before she actually set the game aside and try to kiss what he figured was the ridiculous pout on his face. she’d tried and he wasn’t having it becuase the shirt---- the shirt was so important that he kept going and going haeri just ended up pulling him until he was on top of her and they were on the bed. danger zone. she could get him here, he knew it. he would become entangled, trapped by warmth and he’d lose.
“it’s not funny.” now he’s whining again and his voice is so goddamn high he wants to bury his face in the pillow beneath her head. this time haeri’s laughter is louder and now he just wants to hide the red he’s sure is creeping onto his ears. instead jaesun lifts his body up off her, a warmth he misses instantly and wants to meet again. they must think alike because she’s pulling him back but instead of getting his shirt he gives her a piece of clothing.
silence.
haeri looks down at the pink blotched shirt in her hands and back up at him. he waits, gaze flickering from his destroyed shirt and to her. he thinks it’s working, he thinks he can keep up the serious charade even with the pink on the shirt matching his ears. he thinks he can get her to understand the damage and shock that she’s going through but all he gets is more silence...then she’s laughing again and doesn’t even attempt to control it. it’s loud and rivals the washing machine and he’s pouting. it feels weird against his lips usually but right now it’s so easy and natural if he could get the damned pout to work on her he might think of using it again.
“haaaaeeeeeriiiiiii, I just bought this shirt.” he works out in several shirts. it’s not that he has a preference or anything and it’s not like the pink would be a problem at the gym. he has plenty of stained shirts especially from his job but he’d prefer to keep a certain set of them reserved for work and working out and another for dates and being at home. this was a home shirt, now stained with more than pink but paint blotches he didn’t think he knew how to get out.
“so buy another shirt.” she shrugs. he pouts even more. this is by definition, ridiculous. “honestly I don’t see what the problem is, it looks like a tie-dye piece. personal artwork from me to you free of charge. you should be honored.” the thought is, effective to say the least. it’s worming it’s way into his heart.
“stop that, stop pouting right now.” needless to say he doesn’t. he won’t. he’s doing his best impression of a puppy dog pout and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get guilt swimming somewhere in her chest. “I’ll have you know because someone wanted to stay up all night, I ended up sleeping over, oversleeping at that, waking up late to my lesson with nothing to wear because I didn’t have a change of clothes because of someone and all I had was some pants and this sweater. The studio’s been hot so the sweater had to go when I got there, god jaesun don’t look at me like that it’s not that bad.”
it wasn’t that bad.
but jaesun? he’s doing that thing again, that staring thing he knows she hates but it’s a little different this time. it’s also not purposeful. it’s analyzing. he’s squinting at her and for a second his words are mumbled as the thought comes to mind because while she’s talking the only thing he can follow is the clothing that’s now in plain sight. he didn’t notice when he came in but he’s definitely taking notice now. the sweater. his sweater? normally he wouldn’t be against her wearing his things in the house but the memory floods back and he finds his words the moment he steps closer.
“is that.....” haeri looks down following his gaze. her eyes widen; his mouth opens. “yah!” it’s quick, as quick as she is when she bounds out the way and into the living room, sweater still clinging close to her body. “yah do you have any idea how cold I was the other day when I couldn’t find that!” he yells over her laughter, over the washing machine and over his own steps as he chases her.
and he had been. he’d been freezing in fact. it’s the reason he was doing laundry right now. he only had a few hoodies he could actually run in the morning in, and with winter approaching he couldn’t afford not to run layered up. he’d searched a good hour and a half for his sweater, preferring this one’s fit for running more than the others. it’s not an attachment thing it’s more of his pickiness with his comfort. after deciding he couldn’t find it he went for that run in a t-shirt after realizing all his other hoodies and sweaters needed washing, hence the laundry day today.
“okay okay okay I’m sorry!” see he’s caught up to her, he made sure to catch up to her, paint stained shirt forgotten somewhere in the living room. them? they’re on the couch and jaesun’s busy trying to take back the sweater, not seriously of course. “jaesun i’m going to freeze! I’ll give it back later!” he doesn’t yield though and his hands are everywhere and she’s shrieking between laughter and whines and yells. he rubs his hands together, fiercely before pressing them against her side and yelling like a maniac,
“By the name of firelord zuko, grant the firebender in me the power to warm her up!”
“You’re an idiot!” she’s still laughing and he’s still going.
“get another shirt!”
“I can’t!” he’s about to ask why when his hands touch lace and he pauses.
it’s not so much silence as it’s just realization. “...yah.....no wonder you’re cold why aren’t you wearing a shirt under here?” his hands don’t move though and now she’s the one with the red all over her face.
“You took all the shirts for laundry you dummy.” she’s speaking with half the sweater now covering her mouth and half hiked up to her stomach. it leaves her skin open with goosebumps now jumping across. she shifts under him, leg lifting to kick at his thigh. “hey dummy, I’m freezing.” as quick as he paused he’s back and pressed flush against her in a second. The sound has a gasp breaking into the sound of fabric against fabric.
“want me to warm you up.” jaesun’s not even asking really because his hands are already moving against her stomach.
“I want you to get your cold ass fingers from under my sweater.”
“my sweater.” he hums. he doesn’t oblige either, just keeps tickling her stomach under the sweater.
“details.” it comes out as something between and gasp and a whine when his hands threaten to lift from under the sweater, cold air rushing under like a current. “jaesun i swear to god.” he relishes in this. shamelessly so.
“yeah yeah.” he leans over to press his lips against her, letting a warmth they’ve both been missing all day take over.
“Thirty-five.”
“Wrong.”
“Shit.”
“Jaesun.”
“Yeah yeah five more.”
That’s how it went. They had a nice system going on. He would do twenty-five sit ups and haeri would ask a question. If he gets it wrong he’s got to do another five until he gets it right and if he gets it right on the first try he gets a break. In the beginning it was he got a kiss when he got it right but it became impossible after him insisting he’d do math problems while he did his sit-ups. Initially haeri forgot how good he was at math but it wasn’t until she noticed he was stealing quite a few kisses ( and the cheering of the guys ) that she took off that rules. Jaesun seemed to prefer the ten second breaks anyway.
“Okay so if you take the equation of the first derivative and you multiply it times four what will that do to the answer of the second derivative?” Seriously who the hell does math questions while doing sit-ups? Before this she honestly had no idea her boyfriend was a functioning supercomputer. That might be a stretch while jaesun was good at math he didn’t focus too long on it he just understood concepts well. She still could only do conceptual problems rather than the serious work but it all worked out.
He sits up, catching his breath and calculating as well. It’s gross. He’s all sweaty and sticky and stinky and she’s sitting right where he sits up. Before it’d bee right in front of his knees as a spotter but now she’s gravitated to the bench beside him so none of that sweat will drip on her.
“Times eight?”
“Wrong.”
“Fuck.”
“Jaesun.”
“Yeah yeah back down.”
He thinks about a possible reason why she calls his name like that. Nowadays he’s learned to decipher the different meanings to the way she says things. He’s getting really good at it too however in this particular moment his mind is running too many thoughts and calculations to try and decipher. Maybe it’s because he’s cussing again it’s not like jaesun doesn’t curse often but it’s never been so apparent. He’s probably said twenty cuss words within the last three minutes and that by far is a record. Now Haeri’s got a potty mouth for sure but if she’s been able to work on hers he doesn’t see why it should draw out his in reverse.
“You’re not very good at conceptual are you?” She asks when he’s back to doing his ten.
“When I’m not preoccupied.” is his response, a quiet four reaching out soon after.
“Why in the world would you be preoccupied? Multitasking is a gift given to only the brightest I see.” That’s when he stops on number six or seven and gives haeri a look that has the faintest trace of pink running over her cheeks. It takes two seconds of eye contact for her to cough and slap his knee. “Back down.” A smile replaces his expression and he’s doing as he’s told. It’s that small two seconds of unspoken understanding that makes this so easy. It’s the smile that he can see on her lips when she tells him to go back down and his willingness to do so and not wrap her up in his arms.
Normally Jaesun’s a very distracted person especially when it came to Haeri but in this situation he’s probably more focused than he’s ever given credit for. It probably rivals his attention to his training when he first came to Korea and it’s why he does it while he’s training. The decision to go back to school was nerve wracking to say the least. Most of it stemmed from guilt about being too busy when he first arrived to commit. He knew it wasn’t an excuse and knew if he could handle what he did now, who’s to say he couldn’t handle this as well. Of course some things he had to cut down like his late night jobs delivering chicken much to her dismay but one job, school and a training commitment was enough.
He rises, a quiet ten slipping out his lips and she asks the question again. He delivers the response a little too confidently this time and is already reaching for his water bottle before she can tell him if he’s right or not.
“Ding ding ding, just ten more to go in this section.” Needless to say Haeri’s motivation is doing wonders for his own stamina. He’s sure she had an idea how much her encouragement helped him but he didn’t seek to let it show too much. The water cools him down for a moment but it doesn’t stop cheeks from heating at the praise. He decides to milk it for all it’s worth.
“Fire away.” Sometimes they did this, she would call out the last in a speed round and if he got them all right he got a longer break. It’s not the break he’s looking for though and she gives him a look that says she knows but straightens the paper and keeps her gaze steady. He takes a deep breath and is back down the moment she begins. The interval between her asking the questions and him responding is short. It’s barely the time it takes him to sit back up from going down and he’s sure she’s catching on but he keeps going, pushing out replies like this is all review for a test he’s already passed and not one he’s trying to. There’s a burn in his chest but it’s probably anticipation not the ache of his muscles. She gets the last question out, he gets the last answer in and he’s sitting up instantly.
“Correct———- jaesun don’t you———-” It’s too late though. He does make a habit of reaching and drying himself off first but he’s more focused on reaching her than anything else. His chest is still a little sweaty so he can’t really pull her in his arms like he wants so he settles for catching her off-guard and instead hovering over her when she tries to escape. For the moment he’s still catching his breath and she’s looking up at him with a scrunched nose. “You stink.”
“Not yet.” Now she’s trying to push him off without really pushing him off.
“You’re sweaty get off me.”
“I’m not on you.” They weren’t really touching each other, his hand maybe inches from her head and their chest at least half a ruler apart. He’s not sure where the burst of energy comes from but he lets himself stare down at her before she bops his nose with the folded paper.
“Bad jaesun, down.” This one’s easy though, he can fight this because the moment she bops his nose is the minute he replaces the look with a small pout and a whine following after.
“I did the speed round though.” Three.
“Jaesun you’re sweaty.”
“But I answered all ten!” Two.
“You’re sweaty and gross and you tricked me!”
“Haaaaeeeeriiiiiiiiii.” he’s whining louder now and she’s covering his mouth and her eyes so she doesn’t have to see nor hear the atrocity. One.
“Fine.” She says it about half a minute later and her hand still covers his mouth. It’s not until she removes the hand over her eyes though that he even thinks about doing anything. They stay like that for a couple moments entranced in these bold moments haeri gets where she locks his eyes with hers and ignores that he can see the very bright blush across her cheeks. where she doesn’t look as nervous as before and in fact it’s the opposite. anticipation with a dash of anxiety that radiates between the two of them. mutual understanding that they’ve been at this for hours and they’re both frustrated to no end because jaesun focused is a man with tunnel vision and haeri teaching is a woman with a strict regimen. it works out well until it wears thin.
he blinks for a few of these moments his eyes switching from her eyes to her lips. it’s a camera catching possibilities and in the last moment he decides to save it for later and leans forward to place a small kiss on her forehead.
“Push-ups next right?” That’s when he rolls off and can only listen to her grumbles of how she has sweat on her forehead and he’s still a little shit.
“What parts of the brain are responsible for handling cognitive function!” It’s louder this time, less intimate but still important. She’s calling over the chatter of the gym and he’s in between listening to her, thinking, and dodging the hits that come his way.
They’re sparring but his trainer made it clear he could study as long as he didn’t get too distracted. He’s sure there are bets going around the gym about how long this one will last before he gives up. Everyone knows jaesun’s record of focus when haeri’s in the vicinity and quite frankly it’s that kind of doubt that motivates him.
Anyway it’s twenty seconds into her question and he’s still floating back and forth in the ring. His sparring trainer isn’t really giving him a lot of time to think and he’s sure it’s on purpose. When it’s his sparring trainer it’s about technique and muscle memory but right now it seems to be focused on takedowns. He blocks a double jab before checking a hook to the side of his face and he yells out at the audience.
“Yah! Whoever put bets on me giving up I’m kicking your ass next.” That gets him a smack to her side of his head, one for cursing and the other probably for implying he could kick his trainer’s ass. “Yah kwon jaesun you wanna die.”
“Sorry hyung.”
“Yah kwon jaesun that’s not the question I asked you!”
“Sorry babe!”
“Jaesun!” That’s probably for using the pet name she absolutely abhors.
“Sorry!
“Pay attention!” That and the smack to his head is for not paying attention.
“Fuck—– Sorry!”
“JAESUN!” It’s from both of them and it’s probably because he’s cussing out loud around the younger members. He gathers himself, ignoring the laughs and cheers from the guys who are walking by and smacks his gloves together. He knows he’s got to focus but this is a little tricky.
“Okay okay!” He can do it though, he has to.
“Dodge!” he tries. he thinks he has it but he gets a knock right in the back of his head when he’s too slow. “Jaesun.” his trainer starts, “I know I know,” he’s back at it though shaking off the burn in the back of his head. he’s determined if anything. “Which part of your brain should’ve seen that coming?” He can’t even respond properly so the only thing that comes out is, “Occipital.” Then out the corner of his ear he hears her, “Correct!” he’s smiling.
“What part of the brain should you have protected just now?” He blinks but he moves around anyway. “Right hemisphere.” he tries. “If that’d gotten hit what would happen?” he wrinkles his nose. “I’d be fucked——” he mumbles. “Jae——” he ducks and this time he dances around to the left side of the ring. “I probably wouldn’t be able to recognize you in my older years.” He ignores the yells of protest from the guys, he’s grinning too much. “And?” she’s probably grinning too he can hear it. “Probably lose my ability to cross this mat easily.” He does though, crosses easily goes in for two jabs and an uppercut. It works fairly well. “Faster next time let’s go kwon.”
“Where should you protect if you wanna continue boxing?” He huffs. “That’s a loaded question.” she snorts. “Gimme a simple answer.” he’s moving around quicker though so he’s grateful for the chance. “Ummmmmmmmm frontal?” he moves in for another jab. “Why?” he misses. “Controls motor functions and coordination right? So if that’s fu—- messed up, how am I gonna move around at all?” he dives in again, and misses again. “Looks like your motor functions are already messed up what was that? again.” he’s not tired at all but he can at least feel the thoughts coming together, now he just needs to move around in sync to it.
“What part is responsible for you hearing your trainer diss you.” She’s really going for it he thinks. He only thinks briefly when he thinks he has time to think because the moment he does there’s another hook coming his way and he has to dodge once more. “Temporal?” he starts, “Block!” he does. “Correct!" he smiles.
It goes on like this for maybe fifteen more minutes. At some part the answers become more automatic and sync with his movements. At some point he stops hesitating between the words and the moves and answers as he’s moving. His brain seems to ease into the thinking and his muscle memory catches up. He doesn’t have time to thank his body for finally deciding to agree with him but he does have time to show his trainer he hasn’t been going soft. That’s how sparring ends, with him getting in enough correct combos that his trainer calls it. Once Jaesun gets comfortable he gets in the zone and once he’s in the zone his moves are precise and hard-hitting as normal. The minute he corners his trainer is the minute he’s given the okay and he practically zooms out the ring to Haeri’s side. She hands him a water bottle before even acknowledging him and he slumps onto the edge.
“Which part of your brain is working in overtime right now?” He gives her a pointed look that’s almost too tired to fully express what he’s thinking. He’s sure she gets the point but she nudges him anyway. “Last one.” He takes another gulp before indulging her. “Hindbrain?” He gets a satisfied nod before she’s folding the dreaded paper into her arm. “Ding ding ding! All done!” He’s never felt more relieved, but also never more grateful. It shows he’s sure. No matter how tired he is, how much his body settles into neutrality when he’s too wiped out to care he knows it shows. He probably looks like a fool.
“Hey.” Haeri blinks. “What?”
“You really activate my Amygdala.” He gets a few more seconds of her just looking at him before he gets smacked with the paper again. “Hey hey fatigued man here go easy on me!” She doesn’t though. “You’re so cheesy, you’re so corny and lame and gross I can’t believe you!” She probably can, Haeri knows he’s prone to it when he’s exhausted. It’s why they’re both laughing and they hear choruses of ewws yet again.
“Okay ready?” She’s on the other side of the bag. Honestly he thought this was an awful idea but she’d been adamant about it. Jaesun’s gaze shifts to her for a moment but he’s back to looking at the bag and settling his stance.
“Ready.” The timer starts and the questions fire.
“What are the main psychology focuses?” For the most part they’re listed question, ones that require him answering with a set of terms that makes it easy to fire his jabs into the bag. He’s supposed to do one for every answer he gives and only break when the timer is done. He can’t slow down on the bag he knows that but he doesn’t want to hit until he has an answer in mind. Needless to say it’s pissing off his trainer. Now, every time he gets a set wrong, he has to start from the beginning, going through all the questions until he gets the one he got wrong correct. Haeri can take his punches he’s sure and she wouldn’t want him loosening up either.
It’s a load of crap and he’s tired. They’ve been at the gym for about five hours now and they were in the last hour of training. She’s probably tired too having spent what would’ve been a relaxing day at the apartment with him.
“Name the qualifications needed for someone to apply for social aid.” It doesn’t help that these questions hit a little close to home. He continues though, he goes at the bag and wracks through his brain simultaneously. She’s not holding it really, just hovering over at the side and only leaning in the ask the question but it’s still making him nervous. It doesn’t show and she knows even if it doesn’t. “Focus and we’ll be done come on.” It’s quiet and right after he gets another set of questions wrong. There’s sweat blocking his vision, in his eyes, in his hair, on the mat, on the bag. There’s sweat everywhere and salt burns through the look he gives her. He can make out the smile, the small encouragement in her voice despite being tired and he wipes at his forehead.
“Again kwon.” A drawn out groan and a giggle from her before the timer starts again. Did he mention when he gets a combo wrong he has to go two minutes holding his gloves up for strength training. It’s in the moment that Haeri crouches beside him.
“You’re tired.”
“So are you.” he’s not snapping per say, he just doesn’t want her taking up her day like this. Sure they’ve spent days at the gym but she’s usually off in the corner doing her own thing and for no longer than an hour.
“I’m fine.” he shrugs, arms still burning.
“I’m fine.”
“Mmmmmm you’re not. I’m not an idiot. You’ve got that awkward scowl on your face. Not just the tired one but the frustrated one—— what’d you say?” He didn’t think she’d hear him. Jaesun doesn’t make attempts to talk when she’s talking, to slip in little words in between her own. He only really does it when he’s tired or when his mind’s going a mile a second and he can’t focus. He gave himself away the moment he whispered it. Stress and fatigue piled up that’s for sure but it’s not that he spoke it’s more what he says that catches her attention. He can’t even face her.
“Kwon jaesun what’d you say?” he shrugs again. his full name is usually a signal. it’s one he ignores. “Time’s up.” He gets up and goes to the bag, rolling his shoulders and the question away.
“What are the major categories of social work that a person can enter in?” They’re back at it again. She’s asking and he’s hitting. He’s throwing and she’s trying to catch, with her eyes not with her hands. Haeri’s always been a little reckless but he thinks now it’s just on purpose. He only manages a small warning not to stand too close between the question and she promptly ignores it.
“What are the subcategories of social aid provided by most social work facilities?” It hits close to home. They both know it. It hits too close to home and even his trainer knows but he knows better. Jaesun knows to leave personal matters outside the gym, he doesn’t even show it if he and Haeri aren’t talking or going through a patch. Not because it doesn’t happen often or because they resolve quickly but because he knows better. It’s a golden rule and a rookie mistake.
All the jokes about him not being able to focus around Haeri, most of the time he plays it up. Yeah he can’t keep his hands off her, yeah he loves her to death but he’s also a very focused guy. When it gets down to it only a few choice things can distract him from his goals. At the time his only goal was making sure she knew how much he loved her and if that meant getting distracted he made up for it later. Right now it’s not about that and they both know that. So each time he hits the bag a little harder, each time the words come out tight-lipped and small he knows that both of them notice. He notices and he can’t help it.
“What are the characteristics of handling a domestic violence call.” The blows are sharper, quicker, emotional. He can’t help it or rather he’s not trying to help it. He won’t hit it to where he pushes her or the bag hits her, never that, but he can tell she’s noticed. “Break kwon.” He shakes it off. “I’m fine hyung.” his fists curl under the wraps. “Break.”
“No wait,” usually it’s a voice that snaps him out but it’s the small tap of the paper on his shoulder that does it. he doesn’t whip around to face her, doesn’t swat the paper away he just eases into the hand on his shoulder. sometimes jaesun forgets how opposite he is from his father and when he fears seeing fear in haeri’s eyes the relief when all he sees is love almost has him on his knees right there. it’s a little scary. it’s not really submission. people call him whipped or whatever but it’s more than that. it’s deeper than that. “hey you.” she offers him a smile that says everything he expected. “you’re not stupid.”
five hours. five hours of training and studying. the three hours he spends every night before bed and in the morning before work. studying, studying and neglecting and he can’t handle the simplest of questions. beginner level questions at that. hours and hours of repetition and he’s still fumbling over what should be the most important topic. Math was easy yeah, anatomy was a pain but it connected. Now at the most important topic of his studies, now at the focus and he can’t even get the answers he’s drilled into his brain. Why’s that? They mean the most so they should stick the most. This should be the quickest part of the day. This should wrap up nicely not boil over.
“Jaesun.” she breaks him out again. this time he looks up and she’s smiling. “You’re not stupid. You’re tired. You’ve been at this for hours. Your body is tired, your brain is tired jesus this is common sense. Don’t beat yourself up for your anatomy, we just went over that didn’t you pay attention?” She has to scold him a little, it’s not her job to baby him. “You know this, you recited it last night and every night before that. You know these. Breathe.” he does. “Relax.” he does. “And let’s finish I want to go home.” he laughs. she taps him once more with the paper and he takes his stance again.
“Ready kwon?” Haeri gives him a look asking the same thing and he assumes his stance once more. “Ready.”
Practices finishes in thirty minutes after that. He gets the last question out and throws his arms around her to hug and squish her against him as much as he can. It’s short lived and not because she’s pushing him away with her protests but because he owes his trainer twenty laps around the ring for his slip up earlier. He takes the punishment willingly and runs the laps with a dumb grin on his face that almost gets him ten more.
He’s smart though, he runs straight from the ring to the showers after a pat on the back and a promise not to slip up again. He’s refreshed and thankful for the laps, even more thankful for the girl he’s running to see after he’s done cleaning up. His arms slip around Haeri’s waist from behind and he’s picking her up with energy he didn’t even know he had left.
“Yah put me down, you’re still wet. You’re like a wet dog put me doooown” She doesn’t make a move to escape though. She’s doesn’t even fight it just lets him pull her to her chest and spin around as much as he wants until she’s facing him. He’s smiling and she’s turning pink and everything’s fine.
“I love you.” Now she’s red.
“Yah!” He just shrugs and leans down and to nuzzle his face in her neck.
“Thank you.” he hears something akin to I love you too but he’s too busy taking in all that he’s missed.
“Yah get out of here you lovebirds.” if it had been anyone other than his trainer he might have flipped them the bird but his stomach is doing flips and he’s content with giving a dorky grin. By the time they’re leaving the gym, bag slung over his shoulder and her hand in his she’s giving him a full rundown of the day. He’s listening, humming and keeping his mind and body awake and his sense focused on her.
“Oh,” he peeks over at Haeri, unaware he’d even closed his eyes. “I love you too but if you ever keep me there that long and act like that again you get no kisses for two months.” He pauses to take it in, looking over to see that instead of a blush there’s still small certainty and love in her gaze. He’s compelled to lean over and kiss her first. It’s not long enough to convey everything but it’s quick enough to say what he needs to. He does say it once he pulls away.
“Deal.”
