simply just.

we are simply just.

[560am-blog]

( andrwon eep @aumiliieu​ )

it really shouldn’t happen this way. and it shouldn’t happen this way because he didn’t spend so much time putting up layers for words to tear them down so quickly. and so gently.

and that’s the problem. when andrei says it it’s so gentle. it’s so slow too, not quick, not in the heat of bodies against one another or anticipation of it. it’s a little bit after. when both slow their hearts to a manageable pace, hyungwon manageable by position and andrei just manageable by heart. but andrei’s got leverage, hands pressed on either side of the bed and gaze unmoving. peeling without prying and looking without searching.

hyungwon’s phone is somewhere on the countertop and all energy to retrieve it dies down. not when he catches the look in andrei's eyes but because he catches his breath. slowed, almost erratic to the point where he found that to focus on instead of the eyes on him.

and he’s used to that. he’s used to cameras, eyes through cameras, judgement and expectations, piercing gazes and pitiful ones all the same. he’s memorized them and filed places where they go so they don’t reach his core. he does that with everything. but andrei’s, andrei’s is too much. and it makes him want to look away. he doesn’t have a place for it, nor a word for it.

“god you’re beautiful.” and if hyungwon’s body were so inclined, it might stiffen. and it wants to wants to show how much the words mean and that they mean nothing. that they resonate as nothing. but he doesn’t stiffen. he falls into the pillow, turns his head and pretends that all it is, is his face sinking, not his heart turning or anything like that. visible even in dark of the room because the kitchen light fitlers through the door and the penthouse windows let in the night.

“stop it.”  “stop what.” “whatever it is you’re trying to do.” “i’m just telling you the truth, you’re really something.” “you’d think that of everyone after a night like that.”

and hyungwon’s not crude, not meaning to be he’s just - cutting, tearing apart the sweet that he gets into something truthful. because things like this don’t always come so easily and softly and he’s trying not to fool himself. but andrei doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even move, if only once to look out in the direction hyungwon is. at the window, out the window, at the moon maybe before he looks back. all eyes all attention all words made to turn hyungwon into something.

“you’re really gorgeous, i’m sure you know, but I gotta tell you.” “don’t expect something back.” “not expecting anything.” and everytime hyungwon tries to search for sincerity, tries to mold words into it he always ends up short and with jagged pieces of hope. but this time, when he doesn’t hope or search of expect, he’s hit full force. when his eyes turn and see andrei smiling, shrugging, genuine. he doesn’t really have words for it, except that it does take half the breath out his lungs.

“you’re too much.” he doesn’t scowl though, doesn’t smile but doesn’t scowl. “right back at you.” “get off me.” he doesn’t make a move either, doesn’t squirm or reach or pull. “i can’t, I’ve lost my way back, you’ve trapped me.” 

he smiles. it’s small but it’s there. found it’s way up after all the doubt gets knocked one by one by the male still hovering above him. and if andrei sees it he doesn’t let on. he just stays over hyungwon, pressing small kisses to his face, cheeks, nose.

“stooooooop.” because hyungwon hates kisses. hates the intimacy. hates the permnancy of feeling lips on his skin for days and wishing for it. hates the thought that he might really truly miss these kisses as the glide over. and andrei stops, partially, lips on hyungwon’s cheek until they move up. up up up and hyungwon doesn’t flinch, doesn’t shrink, doesn’t shove when he thinks he should. instead he’s got lips pursed in something of a pout, small and only for the male grinning smugly before him.

“stop being so gorgeous.” “you’re unbelievable.” “and you’re---” “don’t.” “beautiful.”

there’s reason why it shouldn’t happen this way. reasons why hyungwon remains so strict and guarded. because he’s let a few in and let a few sweet words by and had them slice through. but andrei’s land like butter instead of a piercing passion it’s a soft simmer. taking over his body until he can’t turn enough to hide the flush on his cheeks. and boy can he feel it. and boy does he want to hide. 

“cute.” “don’t you dare.” “your secret’s safe with me.”

and for some reason hyungwon’s got the feeling it’s more than a secret that’s safe with andrei. but this is the beginning of one.

[560am-blog]

@silverining​

“jaesun.”

rarely is he like this. usually he’s the spring chicken, usually he’s up and about and rushing to work or rushing to the gym. usually. 

but jaesun’s not a morning person and he’s not trying to hide it, it’s just some days he shows it more than other.

like today, she’s called his name probably four more times than he hears and she’s not as much fed up as she is giggling. and that takes a while to register too, like the sheet she slips over his head or the fact that he’s sitting up - since when was he sitting up. but that makes sense, because he’s cold, he’s really cold and it means he’s not caught up in the covers and that’s where he needs to be. because he’s certain he has no commitments today, no shifts or practices or anything. so he should be in the sheets, tight and wrapped up but he knows, knows even in this state that no matter how much he wraps up something won’t quite fit. 

that leads him to his next motion, whether it registers or not. it’s automatic really, bypassing blurry sight and heavy eyelids. wrapped around her, inhaling deep and smiling against fabric. pulling pulling until he’s got the kind of reassurance that can begin to wake him up. and just as he wakes up he wants to sink. deeper and deeper into the bed.

“jaesun!” “mmmm.” all the energy she puts into the words, into squirming and trying to wiggle free and she gets a mumble. he’d fear more for her reaction if he were more awake but he’s not. two weeks of nonstop responsibilities have left him senseless and moving by instinct - to the only thing that makes fatigue and aches flee. like it has no place and like she’s stronger than all of it.

not strong enough to wiggle free or probably upset enough. because they fall back on the bed, protests and all. well, he pulls them, holding on like he doesn’t want the security to leave. and haeri’s kind of like that but she’s kind of more than that. 

“we’ve got stuff to do today!” he hears it, really he does. sometimes he jumps up, sometimes he manages to mumble a five more minutes and she’ll combat it for an entire five minutes until he’s up. but now he’s just nuzzled close. usually he’ll pull her up, noses touched and try to coax comfort back in her until they both sink in the bed. but right now he just lays, relishes in the familiarity of haeri on him, haeri close, haeri haeri haeri.

so he feels her move, up from her place on his chest until their noses touch, and he knows he’s tired because he doesn’t make a move, leaving her to place the kiss on his nose that she’d usually get. because her nose is scrunched up but she can’t even hold it that long. “someone’s tired.”

“mmmmmm.” “you’re a big baby.” “mmmmmmmmmm.” that one’s louder because she’s kicking her legs up and down, moving all parts against his body and disrupting the calm he’d sunk in. “we have things to do today.” he wants to manage a response but all that comes out is air and half groans. “we can stay in.” so he opts for his fingers as responses, small squeezes into her side to answer. “but you’ll owe me.” “kaaay.” it comes out as a huff, because he’s finally settling into the fact that he’ll get to sleep, get to stay in which is something they’ve been both robbed of and the relief slides through his entire body. “I mean it you’ll owe me.” “kay.” “are you listening?” “kay.” “....you’re cute like this I can’t even be mad.” he’s not awake enough to register the words either. but he registers the feeling, of fingers on his chest. first. scrolling up, tracing up and wrapping around. registers that he doesn’t have a shirt on because that’s right it was hot as hell but now it’s getting hotter. steady though, with each moment and movement.

haeri’s a lot of things. jaesun’s got her filed as a lot of things and people see her as a lot of things.. cliche shit like hurricanes in girls and storms of feelings, confusion, recklessness. things things things and cages to try and understand her. he doesn’t get all of it but he gets some. gets the main thing really. when she’s doing things like this, touching him lightly, fascinated and small and gentle. trying not to wake and wanting him awake. understanding and letting him be even when he probably wouldn’t mind. talking to herself, entertaining herself and being herself, all the shy, confused and cute things that he sees when she doesn’t think he does. when he peeks an eye open, heavy but enough to register her. her her her.

and jaesun really doesn’t get all of it, but he thinks he gets the depth.

“love you.” “love you too -  yah!!” “you woke me up.” and he wants to pout, want to move but he’s cemented into this, this reassurance from her words and it’s got him all kinds of things. kind of tingly and burning up all over. kind of rooted in the bed and in her words. his hands are wrapped around her frame, trying to block the pillow she throws his way but it feels like she’s got him wrapped everywhere. and if there’s supposed to be some kind of storm in her, yeah he feels it, but he’s never felt better.

when he blocks the pillow and smiles pulling her closer. pulling her up and pulling breaths from her to him. her lips to his, opening and melting any ferocity into the sheets. all small squeaks into creaks and him being weak for it all. weak weak weak and so in love. 

fatigue now in the form of flushes against her cheeks and the sun filtering on his back.

“I love you.” “I love you too, but you suck I’m too tired to get anything done now.” “Okay let’s sleep, we’ll do it later.” “You'll do it later.” “Mmm I’ll do it later.” that’s said in a kiss against her cheek. against her head, against everywhere he can get it until she cuddles up and close. and they’re both tired, sated, and satisfied.

[560am-blog]

( @silverining THIS HAS BEEN FOREVER IN THE WORKS hs!jaeri )

[ message from: Satan have fun today! 😊 ]

Jo was a lot of things. Jaesun had his own list of nicknames he’d come up with for her, Satan, pain in his ass, actual catalyst of the apocalypse, cockblock 2000------ none as inappropriate as the ones she had for him but equally as unpleasant.

That’s why when he glances down at his phone, as if her contact name wasn’t warning enough, the emoji at the end of the message is enough to have him choking on his toothpaste.

Jo was a lot of things and a smiley emoji kind of person was not one of them.

The day doesn’t start any different (and honestly he thinks that’s how it always is for things like this). It starts with him getting up earlier than necessary for practice, knowing not to text Haeri just yet but remembering to type the message so as soon as practice is over he can message her right around the time she’s getting up. It’s a system they’d worked out pretty well. He gets up at 5:30 for practice that starts at 6:00, by 7:00 Haeri is getting up to get to school and by 7:30 practice is over. Days he didn’t have practice he tried to pick her up-----

but seriously when did he not have practice.

So Jaesun’s shoving food in his mouth, whispering a goodbye to his mom before he’s out the door. His day has barely started and he’s ready to curse at Jooheon who’s honking the horn at a time when it should be illegal. Routines are routines but some things will never be okay no matter how many times they’re repeated.

“Dumbass I took ten minutes tops.” So Jaesun’s day begins with simple curses and groans all the way to practice and all the way through it. That’s normal.

[ message to: Haeri ❤ it’s official my coach wants us dead, also tell jo not to text me creepy things early in the morning, and good morning! ]

This is normal. Texting Haeri while he’s struggling to grab his clothes and keep his towel up before someone else decides to whack him with theirs and dry himself while keeping his hair from dripping onto the screen. Locker room etiquette was a foreign concept. Jaesun’s accustomed to it all, running back and forth between showers, trying to look somewhat decent as he and his teammates rush to the cafeteria, some getting sidetracked by their friends, some getting caught by teachers; they’re clambering through early morning halls to get to homeroom. Normal, everyday chaos.

What isn’t normal, is the feeling of something, someone launching themselves onto his back. Sure, his teammates do it but it’s usually with one arm, one sweaty or cologne-ridden arm around his neck and it ends with him choking. It’s not the kind of soft throttle that has him lurching but not stumbling forward, it’s not always so gentle and with both hands wrapped around his middle.

“Holy shit------------“ Jaesun’s in between making sure his poptart doesn’t slip out his lips, ( strawberry too good a thing to waste when it’s all he has ) and struggling to keep his phone in his hands and not on the floor. His own expression mirrors his teammates before he registers the feeling and all he can do is smile that dopey smile that makes them groan. “Hey babe you got my text?”

And this, this is weird.

Haeri isn’t a morning cafeteria crowd kind of person. There’s too much involved in it for her to be one and Jaesun learned that the first time he tried to drag her into the cafeteria chaos. Students everywhere, freshmen running up and down the tables, sophomores butting into conversations, seniors trying to find the nearest exit. Friends pulling his attention left and right, try as he might to focus on her, Jaesun’s never been good at denying his friends a hello or a hug and Haeri isn’t a girl to let herself be guided and pushed and pulled around.

Sometimes Jo will drag her into the cafeteria late, right before class starts ( usually because she’s late herself ) but nowadays Jo’s off snogging her girlfriend behind the bleachers before the bell rings. Haeri has made it very clear that if she does arrive before homeroom starts she’ll be in some teacher’s room with her eyes glued to a computer. If not she won’t be here at all and Jaesun respected it. Simply put Haeri doesn’t enjoy the chaos of the morning rush and even if Jaesun’s not a fan he’s used to it. Being on the basketball team has given him little of a choice as they all love to hang around the area so he settles into it easier and they both understand it.

So for her to be even within the vicinity before homeroom and without Jo is a little confusing to him. They’re not in the cafeteria but they’re not in the comfort of a classroom either, choosing to laze around the halls until the bell rings. Even so it’s still as busy as usual. It’s confusing what she’s doing here but he’s a little too caught up in the feeling of her hands against his chest to notice.

For all the times she scolds him about public affection here she is practically clinging to his back and making no indication of wanting to move. Not that he’s complaining! It’s just that he always gets a little light-headed when she goes and initiates things on her own. Even if the sudden weight on his back didn’t knock the air out of him, the realization did. Haeri’s got a way of dragging him into his own personal high with the slightest gestures, making it all rush to his head all dreamy and rough. It’s the good kind of light-headed, the gentle squeeze of the heart. The welcomed kind.

But for her to practically attack him and in the morning no less, it’s unfamiliar.

That’s when he realizes…it’s been five minutes and Haeri hasn’t smacked him for saying the dreaded b word.

In fact, she doesn’t seem to have noticed at all much less moved. If he were paying more attention he would realize his friends decided to relocate and leave them to their business by the lockers. The hall isn’t empty but everyone surrounding it is minding their own business.

He cranes his neck to get a good look at her, face buried in his back and frame hidden by her clothes.

“As much as I love it when you give me hugs I’d kinda like a morning kiss before homeroom starts.” He says it while moving around, hoping first to get a reaction from her so that he can steal the kiss he needs. Jaesun’s wrapping his hands around her own to pry them off his stomach and maneuvering slowly, still hesitant at the lack of movement that could flip in any second. 

He notices, in moments like this when Haeri’s a little lenient, a little docile, just how much smaller her hands are when she’s not throwing them against his chest for something dumb that leaves his lips. He notices, how much he really does love holding them and it’s probably why he’s taking his time, just in case the bell decides to ring and steal it from them. Something about school bells always makes him so anxious and giddy at the same time, out of time but with all the time in the world.

He also notices that she’s in his jacket, the same one he’s been looking for. The very same one she called ugly because of the faded teal color but was only worn when she forgot nighttime could get cold as hell as he was walking her home. The same jacket she’s always sneering at she’s wearing-------- which he doesn’t make a comment about because she looks so damn cute in it.

The hood is already covering down past her eyes and the rest of the jacket, though it’s not particularly huge it’s definitely not her size. It doesn’t swallow her up but fits enough that someone wouldn’t think it was hers, or that someone who knew they were dating knew that it was his. That was good enough.

Haeri, despite Jaesun’s blatant admiring doesn’t make a comment about any of it, his words, his staring, his hand-holding. He does catch the pull of her nose when he’s got both hands on her waist, enough to know she’s listening. He reaches a hand to tug at the hood that falls over her forehead, trying to get better access to her face, the full expression that no matter how judging, he’ll always end up smiling at.

“Uh-oh, did someone stay up all night marathoning again?” It’s a joke, an innocent joke in intention because this is the usual look Haeri has when she has pulled an all-nighter whether it be games or not. Though if it were an exam related all-nighter he probably would keep his lips shut. But he’s giddy, too giddy. It’s almost eight in the morning and all Jaesun wants to do is kiss his cute ass girlfriend against the lockers but apparently fate has other plans because the moment those words leave his lips he regrets them.

It takes two seconds, three seconds for the words to leave, for the scrunch to turn into a tremble and for him to hear the mumble from outside the fabric.

‘You would know if you were texting me.’ Jaesun doesn’t catch the whole sentence at first but when he does he ends up blinking, hand stopping short of the tip of the hood.

“What----- last night? I did text you last night.” It’s an automatic response because the last thing he remembers doing is in fact texting her. Which could be a good and bad thing. He probably only remembers it because he fell asleep, but he also could only remember it because that’s all he did and the details are fuzzy from a brutal morning practice. Naturally, the universe knows where it wants this conversation to go.

‘You stopped texting me way before I went to bed.’ She says matter of-factly. Now it’s Jaesun’s turn to scrunch his nose and he didn’t realize he’d picked up the habit until she’d pointed it out, bopping his nose with an amused grin. He almost wishes she’d do it now, soften the blows she’s already dishing out.

“You hate when I text you when you’re playing. And I have practice you know I can’t stay up late.”

‘So what, sometimes it’s not a bad idea to stay up with me you know. Practice never stops you from hanging out late does it.’

Once upon a time, in a past consisting of a less-understanding Jaesun and a shorter-fused Haeri, Jaesun had forgotten to text her back and instead opted to go out with his friends. All would have ended well had she not actually set time aside to talk to him, had she not made plans to talk to him and stay up to do her work. All would have been fine if he hadn’t brushed it off as not a big deal. One punch from Jo and two from Haeri, fifteen minutes of tears and Jaesun never did it again. It was a compromise though because he enjoyed nights where she set aside time for him, enjoyed the drawl of her voice as she shifted between her work and their conversation. He especially enjoyed knowing he could be the last voice on the phone before she succumbed to sleep.

Needless to say they hadn’t had this argument after that, so for it to come up again…well.

“I------ Haeri?” Jaesun is a little dumbfounded.

Haeri doesn’t give much warning before her tears because usually they come in an explosion. He can only catch the tremble of her lips and a few streaks before they’re all coming down. And right now, right now Jaesun is panicking. Panicking because he’s not sure why she’s crying? He’s not sure why they’re having this conversation or argument--- is it even an argument? He doesn’t even know how to handle the situation because she’s crying…in the middle of the hallway…before homeroom and damage control involves swift movements. He can’t really be swift when he’s already confused to begin with.

“I-I’m sorry I must’ve fallen asleep?” Which is weird because he always falls asleep texting her but it’s never been a problem. He can’t really tell what the problem--- is? That’s another problem altogether.

“Jaesun don’t you know it’s bad to make a girl wait up for you?” Haeri manages the words in a series of sniffles and sharp snaps.

“I do?” He does. “I’m sorry?” He is.

At this point Haeri’s still sobbing, not openly or loudly or even violently but even if she weren’t anyone walking by could see the tears that are falling, her body tensed up, fists balled in front of him. The last thing he needs is,

“Kwon Jaesun what’d you do now?” Jo.

Of course here she comes Jinnie looking equally confused by her side. He flinches because he half expects Jo to grab him by the collar because yeah Haeri’s a sobbing mess in front of him but instead she’s got that shit-eating grin on her face, Jinnie instead going to comfort his girlfriend. For the moment, he turns his attention away from Haeri to look at Jo. He wants to glare but all he can manage is the same confusion that’s wrecking his brain and she eats it all up.

“I---------- I honestly don’t know?” He half expects Jo to pick up on the sincerity of his tone, maybe even the desperation in it all but she’s Jo and she’s ever been impartial when it comes to Haeri.

‘Well you did something wrong she’s crying.’ Because she’s Jo she’s a smart ass.

“I don’t make it a point to fuck up all the time thanks.” And because it’s Jo and Jaesun they can never be in the same area and be decent to one another. She raises her hands in defense, but it’s all in vain because that grin’s still there, Haeri still has tears falling and Jaesun’s still confused.

‘Hey don’t get mad at me.’

“I’m not mad I’m annoyed because I know you know something.” Of course the universe wants to screw him over even more so,

‘Whoops there’s the bell. C’mon sweetcheeks we’ll walk you to class.’ Jaesun can’t even do anything because both girls cage Haeri and escort her off without sparing him a glance. The halls empty as quick as they fill, almost as quick as Haeri’s tears appeared and disappeared. He can’t stop them, can’t deliberate because coach will have his ass for being late. So he groans, runs a hand through his hair before he’s off to class as well.

The day’s off to a wonderful start.

The first few periods go by without a hitch.

Jaesun sees Haeri twice, normally he’ll walk to her classroom after first period but the minute he’s out and waiting Jo is there and escorting her. Cockblock 2000. Before he can ask a question or get a response Jinnie is shaking her head and smiling that apologetic smile she has to do whenever Jo is involved. Haeri doesn’t spare him a glance but looks considerably better and for that he has to give Jo some credit.

The second time he sees her but he’s almost late to second period, and all but catches the small glance she gives him before disappearing into her class. It’s the best sign he’s got so he takes a leap of faith.

[ message to: Haeri ❤ hey, I’m really sorry for falling asleep on you. I was really reeeeaaaallly reaallly tired but I’ll try harder to stay awake okay? I didn’t mean to make you cry, Love you, see you later ]

Jaesun doesn’t expect to see Haeri during lunch so he hits send without another thought, returning to his annotation of Shakespeare’s King Lear and not checking his phone afterwards.

‘So I heard you made your girlfriend cry this morning.’

“Give me a breeeaaaaak.” It’s not really about news traveling fast, it’s about the few people who passed by when the little fiasco took place and about Jo and her big fucking mouth.

Lunch starts with Jaesun getting a constant reminder of his situation.

Usually he sits with Haeri but today he thinks it might be a particularly good day to let her sit with Jo. So he’s surrounded by his teammates, ready to take their teasing and quips for the full forty-five minutes they’re prepared to dish it out. There’s laughter and a ruffle of his hair, nudges in his side before everything calms down in a gentle rumble that helps him cope with the confusion in his head.

“Back off, Chanhee made Soo cry last week.” ‘I told her not to show up but she came anyway.’ “You asshole all she wanted was to cheer you on.” ‘I don’t need her distracting me thanks.’

They’re assholes, mainly because of how clueless they are. Jaesun wonders for the moment if that’s how he is. If it’s a reason for the tears he caused. All this time together and he still can’t figure things out. All this time and he’s still making mistakes like that----

“Move over----“ It’s not that the voice is exactly quiet, not like his thoughts are particularly loud either, that’s not the reason he hears the voice. He hears it because the owner of the voice is so unexpected that the table falls silent. Jaesun too, turning to see Haeri standing behind him, tray in her hand and a flush on her cheeks. “Oh my god Jaesun move over this tray is heavy.” He does in fact take the tray ( conveniently stacked with snacks from the assembly line ) from her and scoots over to give her room on his stool. He glances at her longer than necessary and when she doesn’t spare him one of her own he’s back to looking at his teammates.

It’s not that they mind Haeri, it’s just Jaesun’s sure they got the impression she didn’t like them. It was hard to really know if Haeri liked anyone, unless it was Jo. She tolerated them.

At the heart of their uncertainty isn’t some cliché about smart kids or gamer kids staying away from jocks, Jaesun just thinks they’re scared of her. Like really, truly scared of her. He thinks it’s funny. They all get along well, Haeri and his teammates she just doesn’t go out of her way to be around them like the other girls do. It’s another comfort thing. If she could slip in seamlessly with them she would and if she wanted to she could. But she doesn’t so she won’t. It’s rare that she’s around them when it’s not at a practice or a game. So for them to be a little confused and watch a little too closely as she shuffles beside him, he gets it.

He gets it but he pays it no mind. He’s busy staring at her, more accurately at the spread she has on her plate.

“You hate banana pudding.” ‘It’s the only sweet thing they had.’ “…you didn’t even get any meat why didn’t you get meat.” ‘I didn’t want meat.’ “…Are you sick? No---- you’re gonna be sick if you eat all those side dishes. And all the grease is going to upset your stomach.” ‘My stomach is already upset.’ “Haeri.” ‘Yes mom.’

Jaesun glares. His teammates snigger. Haeri nibbles on fried sweet potatoes. Down to the aluminum.

He sighs.

“Alright hold on.” If in the moment before he gets up he feels her hand tighten in his shirt he doesn’t say anything just presses a chaste kiss to the top of her head and heads to the vending machine.

“Alright what do you know?” Confused as he is Jaesun manages to keep up a good appearance as Jo makes her presence known behind him. He doesn’t even look at her, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to pay her any real attention. But he’s waiting, hands shoved in pockets for his turn.

‘Nothing.’ Of course. A sigh and a chuckle are the only things they exchange for the next few minutes. Right up until he’s putting his money in the machine reaching down to grab the package. ‘Get the choco----‘

“Pie. I got it.” He’s holding it up, can’t even play the better soulmate game that he wants to because Jo knows something and he’s a little too annoyed at her knowing and playing him for the fool. So he shakes the package in front of her and turns on his heels to ignore the impressed look she gives him. Walking back to the table he doesn’t know what to expect but it’s certainly not Haeri practically bouncing over her stool, the food on her plate toppling over the sides.

‘Hyuk owes me 40,000 won.’ is all she says before she’s pushing her carton of juice forward.

“What’d she bet you that you were too chicken to do?” Just as he says that though he hears a shriek that startles him as the chocopie is yanked from his hands. The movement startles him more than the shriek because he expects it to die down once she sinks her teeth into the treat. What he doesn’t expect is what comes after.

“You got me chocopie I love you so much you’re the best boyfriend ever oh my god Jaesun are you psychic I think you’re psychic. How’d you know I wanted a chocopie, of course you know this is why you’re the boyfriend, this is why I keep you around.” If the praise wasn’t strange enough it’s the fact that she’s bouncing in her seat and squeezing the daylights out of him. The fact that she’s publicly declaring and showing her affection not only in front of his friends but in the cafeteria in front of relatively anyone who wants to see.

Five shakes later and Jaesun’s considering taking the chocolate back. One second she doesn’t want to move and the next he can’t get her to stop moving. His teammates of course are traitors before they’re loyal.

‘Bet you won’t kiss him.’ ‘12,000 won says she won’t.’ ‘24,000 says I will.’ Jaesun groans. Haeri smirks and with a wet kiss to his cheek he accepts defeat and relishes in the warm.

Needless to say, it is a long forty-five minutes.

For the most part Jaesun’s good. He thinks Haeri’s not mad at him anymore, but he also thinks they have to talk about it, whatever it is later on.

Lunch goes by with three more chocopies, four more dares and Jaesun reminding her to eat something other than chocolate and side dishes or her stomach will hurt. That has her whining and him feeding bits of his kimbap to her which never happens but again he’s not complaining.

Fifth period comes with Jaesun sated from the time spent with his girlfriend and the small kiss she allowed on her cheek before he went into class. It’s halfway into Statistics and an equation that makes no sense when his phone rings. Literally rings, EXID’s Up and Down reminding him why he doesn’t let her touch his phone. Cursing at himself for forgetting to turn it off and ignoring the snickers of his friends he manages an apology to his teacher. Mrs. Choi is not one to forgive class texting but she goes back to her lecture when she sees him slip the phone into his pocket without another glance.

The only reason he risks his life and peeks down at the screen ten minutes later is because of one person and one person only.

[ message from: Haeri ❤ are you in class of course you are leave if you’re looking at these you’re obviously not paying attention anyway ]

Usually Jaesun’s the one who does this and often with minimal success. Haeri comes when she wants, if it’s a class she can afford to miss then she’ll meet him where he wishes, but not without mumbled curses about his behavior and swearing that it’ll never happen again.

The last time was last Thursday during her Calculus class.

Jaesun doesn’t mind skipping class, especially at her request but he is a little puzzled at the fact that it’s her asking.

[ message to: Haeri ❤ you know I’m in Stat right? the class you hate me skipping? the class I have a test in next week? ]

[ message from: Haeri ❤ leave I’ll help you study before the test pls ]

“Kwon,” Jaesun nearly jumps five feet into the air, phone as bright as his ears at his teacher’s voice. “Unless your calculator is broken and you’re checking your answer to the equation put your phone away.”

He swallows, all eyes effectively on him as he slips his phone back into his pocket. “Sorry Mrs. Choi.”

“Since you have so much time to text you can answer the question.”

Ten minutes in and he asks to excuse himself, not without a very pointedly knowing look from his teacher. He’ll make it up to her, he’ll ace the next test and then she won’t have to question him when he pulls out his phone. Of course, that would mean actually paying attention to studying when Haeri tries to teach him. Baby steps. Speaking of, he’s about five feet down the hall when he gets stopped by a friend.

‘Skipping with your girlfriend?’ “None of your business.” ‘Coach is gonna kick your ass.’ “Tell him and Yeonhee finds out the real reason you blew off your date.” ‘Cold blooded.’ “Catch ya later?” ‘Yeah sure thing.’

They part with friendly shoves and laughter that dies out into the hallway. Jaesun hurries to the gym, with one message from Haeri indicating where she is. The gym is free reign as long as students don’t get caught. Jaesun makes it a mission to never get caught. He’s not really rushing there but he’s also not trying to get caught so he slips in hurriedly, barely missing the basketball thrown at his head.

“Mrs. Choi is gonna kill me.” Is all he says before throwing the ball back at her.

“Maybe if you were passing her class she wouldn’t be so mad.” She doesn’t pass it back but he feels the hit as her words slip, mumbled but as loud as they need to be.

“Hey I’m passing, I just keep skipping her class and there seems to be a trend.” She’s light with the dribbles, and Jaesun doesn’t mind he’s too tired to really play seriously. Haeri seems to enjoy it though, fascinated by the back and forth they have with the basketball while he talks. “I’m always skipping her class for you.” And maybe it’s that he’s so tired that he doesn’t watch his words.

“No one told you to come.”

“Mmmmmmm, you never ask me to come though so I thought something was wrong?” He can see her visibly tense at that and he wants to take back the words. The echo of the basketball she’s still holding rings steady and a little wary.

“I’m fine.” Then she tosses it back.

“Great because I won’t be after Mrs. Choi has my head.” He tosses it back. Like his words. They play like this all the time, Jaesun joking about his decision but knowing if he really needed to be in class he would stay. And if she didn’t really need him she wouldn’t ask. It’s easy to know this because it makes situations like this simple. He still worries around his words, her words, watching her carefully as she picks the ball up.

“I---- it wasn’t my intention to get you in trouble you know. You shouldn’t come if you’re going to get in trouble you dummy.” “Nah it’s good, she really has no proof I was skipping if I sneak back.”

“Yeah but remember that time you missed your review session.” No dribble back, just a visible tightening of her fingers around the basketball.

“In my defense I didn’t know it was a review session.” He’s still keeping things light, as light as he can with the octave in her tone rising every second.

“Jaesun you almost failed your finals.”

“Almost.” Light, like his steps towards her. Like fingers over hers, and around the basketball.

“I don’t - I’m not trying to get you in trouble you know.” Jaesun’s known Haeri long enough to know hesitation in her words is never a good thing. He doesn’t move, for whatever could come he doesn’t move and keeps his position firm. “I know.” “And if you really couldn’t come you shouldn’t.” “I know?”

Regrettably so and quite accurately, this is feeling a little too familiar and at that he stiffens, fingers moving tentatively from the basketball to her hands, from her hands to her arms and her shoulders.

“Are you, are you crying?” Jaesun as always, is very bad at this. Because she looks up at him, shoves the basketball in his hands and yep she’s crying. Twice in one day is a record. Not one he intends on keeping up either.

“No.” “Wait no---- why are you crying.” “Just go back to class you’ll get in trouble.”

He’s got about ten reasons why going back to class is probably not a good idea but just one is the look on her face.

“Okay look, I can’t mess up this bad twice in one day, what’d I do?”

“It’s nothing go back to class.” She steps back and he steps forward and really Jaesun knows he won’t get anything out of her this way but it’s worth it at least letting her know he wants to.

“Nothing, just go back to class okay? Please?” It’s not as simple as her saying, leave me alone but not as harsh as a go away. So he takes it for what it’s worth and nods his head, stepping close only to press a kiss to her head, proud only when she doesn’t move away from it.

So that’s that, he leaves and makes it back to class, only vaguely aware of how much time it hasn’t been since he left.

“Since you’ve relieved yourself Mr. Kwon you can answer the next question I hope.”

It’s been a long day doesn’t come close to an excuse for his teacher. So he just nods and proceeds to make an attempt at turning this day around.

He doesn’t hear from Haeri into sixth period and as an athlete with a game coming up he gets a free pass to go practice in the gym with the rest of them team. So that’s where he heads, backpack in tow and friends at his side. He’s not even surprised to see Jo leaning against the entrance to locker room.

“You know, unless you’re here to help, I have practice.” “Ooooh someone’s had a bad day.” “I don’t fancy the thought of making my girlfriend cry twice in one day.” “Would it help if I said it wasn’t you entirely.” “It would help if you’d go away.” “She’s having a rough day.” “I figured. What bothers me is, I can’t help.” “Can’t always do everything right Jaesun.” “Not trying for everything, just trying for something.” He doesn’t wait to hear what she has to say instead he’s moving into the locker room with his teammates.

“Rough day?” Is what Chanhee asks. “Not for me.” Is all he says.

Practice during seventh period goes by without any problems and they’re nearing afterschool practice. Usually around this time he’s running to see Haeri off home, or she’s coming to wait until practice is over. He’s using the withdrawal to complain during their locker room break the coach gives them, practically banging his head on his locker with his teammates looking on. Some in annoyance, some in wonder, some in pure amusement.

“Alright spit it out Jae. What happened now.” “Seriously I don’t know what I did, she just started crying.” “Maybe you made her feel bad!” “I didn’t mean to!” “Doesn’t mean if you meant to bro, you just did.” “But Haeri doesn’t cry like that, if anything I’m crying from pain if I make her that mad.” “She seemed happy at lunch today!” “She didn’t eat much, said her stomach was hurting, I told her it was all those chocopies.” “Man just give it a break, maybe she had a rough day.” “But I don’t know what I did!”

And this is probably where interventions are best spent. The timing isn’t the best but the appearance of their coach in the locker room has everyone quiet and Jaesun trying to shove his thoughts away.

“Kwon, go talk to your girlfriend.” “Don’t we----“ “Chocolate, upset stomach and mood swings, go talk to your girlfriend.” “But------“ “Go, you owe me double tomorrow though.” Jaesun wants to ignore the order, despite how glad he is to get it but he gets a text message that seems to seal the deal.

[ message from: satan library, go ]

It has him running out, barely dressed decently, hair drying on the run there.

It’s strange finding Haeri, not next to a computer but in the back by one of the couches.

“Hey sleepyhead,” and for the moment he thinks she might actually be mad because he doesn’t get a response, minus the turn of her head against the pillow.

“You suck at being stealthy.” Is what she says with a huff and he takes that as his cue to fit himself beside her, her head lifting to rest in his lap. It’s the closest and easiest fit they’ve had all day and he doesn’t want to ruin it.

“You’ve been here for what three periods?” “All day.” “You skipped all your classes? Oho your mom’s going to kill me.”

“Excuse you, not everything I do is because of you.” He just hums at that, knowing it to be true but also finding the situation a little too amusing. She’s quiet, and despite the fact that it’s the library and they’re supposed to be quiet Haeri tends to do what she wants where she wants. He thinks of the rarity of the moment, usually he’s the one leaning against her, shoving into her space so she’ll pay attention to him. Not like he doesn’t get attention he just craves it. Haeri craves it on rare occasions but it’s usually because he always gives it. 

So they sit there, for the moment Jaesun doesn’t worry about a teacher coming by and scooting them out. Just sits and flicks through his phone, hands playing in her hair. For all that she protests they never really get this intimate in school, it’s a scene mostly for when they’re at his place. The way Haeri curls beside him, the rest of her body pulling against the couch pillows, he decides not to ask for now.

It's a couple days later when things calm down, when the beans are spilled and when Jaesun kind of, sort of gets it.

“Why didn’t you just tell me it was your period?” Cue Haeri curled into his side at the lunch table, promptly hiding her face behind his hoodie.

“Come on Jaesun it was obvious.” Cue Jo, staring at him from across the table. Cue Jaesun, ignoring her every word out her mouth.

“Every period is different, my mom told me it’s rude to ask a girl if she’s on her period.”

“Okay Jaesun, I’m on my period.” She deadpans. “Thanks babe.” She shoves at his side and squeaks when he pulls her into his arms, happy to be able to do it again. “Well I’m going to make up for all the cuddling you needed yesterday today.”

“Jaesun we are in the cafeteria.” “Can’t hear you sorry.”

And she doesn’t complain and he doesn’t let go.

[560am-blog]

beautiful.

baekai / hyunshik + taeyang

He was at it again. Taeyang could curse if it were in his nature but it was never that serious and certainly never that aggravating. It was aggravating, he could feel irritation prickling in his bones every now and then but it always settled and soothed into acceptance. He doesn’t know what to call this predicament but seeing as he always falls into the routine it’s less than a problem now and more of an unfortunate circumstance. The difference is one he could’ve fixed and one he chooses to live with.

Taeyang balances the load in his arms, looks at them as if they were a hundred puppies from the shelter and suddenly everything is a lot easier. Of course, it’s very hard to make out four paper bags and three cup holders into puppies but he thanks his imagination for the attempt. If he smiles amid the discomfort it won’t feel as uncomfortable. People ask him all the time how it’s so easy for him to settle with misfortune and he thinks it’s because he’s tackled it so well and let it slide off so easily. It’s nothing as tragic as him being made of it, nothing as intimate as him molding with it Taeyang simply goes with it. Not the cup holders, good lord if they slid out his hands he was done for. Not to mention it’s cold and with cold there’s always a coffee rush and the shop is obviously too busy to deal with him dropping a load of coffee (coffee that took rather long to make) all over the floor.

In Taeyang’s opinion he’s gotten pretty good at it. He’ll fold and fit as much of the pastries in one bag as he can and shove it under his armpit. For the shorter drinks and the lighter ones he’ll place those on top of the heaviest set, that way the load isn’t much and it won’t spill. Then he slips the other set of holders into his other hand and the smallest set between his arms. It’s a small system that took two weeks to perfect and he swelled with pride the first time it proved efficient.

The hospital isn’t too far and it’s not the kind of busy where he can’t speed walk to get there. The café was convenient in that it was down the road, inconvenient in that he had to cross the road to get there but it was okay he was okay with it. He’d only had someone almost hit him once and he only spilled the drinks once, it was a record achievement.

He shuffles the contents in his arms, sometimes more sometimes less and he’s on his way. It’s not that bad. He smiles at the barista who give him funny looks, at the girls who giggle and stumble out his name to the workers all rosy cheeked and espresso stained. He smiles at people who open the door and even those who accidentally slam it against his nose, smiles through it all and continues.

Taeyang forgets all about the barista with the question on his tongue because he’s got about twenty more to answer when he gets back to the hospital.

[note: POV change]

This kid is at it again. Sometimes Hyunshik is fixing a cup when he hears the long list slip from the boy’s mouth and the telltale groan of a long order from a co-worker. Taeyang. Hyunshik remembers clearly. He hasn’t had to fix that many cups at once since the first day they brought back the pumpkin spice latte to the menu. Or the day the guy training him called off sick and it was the morning rush. The usual rush for kids who were getting up for eight am classes that they were late for. The dreaded rush. In between the order and the girl’s tumbling replies Bakehyun remembers the first time he heard the order.

He was working the coffee that day and it was rather early. Not to mention once the order hit over five drinks he spotted his co-worker slip from behind the counter stating he was going to go clean some tables. The traitor.

Never had Hyunshik fixed a set of drinks with such a scowl on his face. He’d honestly meant to wipe it off his face for customer courtesy when he called up the name. “Taeyang!” It was a little tight, maybe a little out of breath because he’d been thrown into the task so haphazardly. Hyunshik also expected to see a group of people show up for the order as do most people when a set is made. They order with one name and look for their order on the side. It’s a bit inefficient in his opinion but he’s not the one searching so he doesn’t care.

He expected a crowd but he saw one boy. One boy with pink hair, apology written in a pink flush all over his face as he scrambled to grab the set of drinks, counting as he does so. Hyunshik would have considered this an insult to his workmanship but the way the boy’s fingers flitted nervously across the cups and the numbers across his lips he realized it’s not a count against him.

“Thank you so much!” some people say it some people don’t and usually it doesn’t matter because by this time Hyunshik is already making the next set of drinks. Maybe the kid (who looks a bit older for Hyunshik to be thinking of him as a kid ) sensed the irritation. Hyunshik let the thoughts slide because more orders are coming and the traitor still isn’t back. He waved the boy--- Taeyang off with his hand questions and confusion forgotten for another day.

He does the same this time watching with the same puzzlement as before as Taeyang picks through the bags and the cup holders to fit them into his arms. He’s not too scrawny but the load is still too much for any normal person to carry. Hyunshik doesn’t mind his own stare because he knows he’s not the only one giving it and not the only one wondering why someone with that many orders doesn’t have at least one other person helping. Taeyang seems like a decent guy. He comes in with the same smile, orders in the same tone and thanks with the same mannerisms as your average run of the mill sweetheart. The girls always giggle when he comes in, the guys can’t help but smile and something about the café brightens at the touch of pink hair. It’s a soft shade, not too hot and not too faded and honestly that doesn’t matter because the boy is slipping away again and Hyunshik’s lips open just momentarily, “Do you---------“

Taeyang manages to catch the cup holder before it topples over and gives the barista the best of smiles because even if Taeyang didn’t fully hear the boy’s question it’s written all over his expression. He reads it quizzical and pitying like most and after the smile he’s turning with a half bow half stride. Taeyang’s out the door before his footing and his words can betray him.

Hyunshik watches Taeyang exit with the clutter in his hand and makes it a mission to finish his question next time because that damn smile caught him off-guard.

“Do you need help?” He gets it out today. It’s pretty slow but that’s not why he asks it. Not because his co-worker gives him a little nudge when the pink-haired boy walks into the shop. Regardless of knowing his name and scribbling it over the one drink he thinks is his Hyunshik thinks he’ll always refer to Taeyang as the pink-haired boy. Or the boy with the sleepy smile. Whichever works.

It’s not the slow tempo of orders that leaves him asking, nor is it the pitying looks that people give Taeyang every time he rushes out with the load. In fact, he’s not sure what makes him ask. Maybe it’s the good cranberry muffin he was blessed with before his shift started. He never gets the muffins for free.

It takes Taeyang a while to respond, and had Hyunshik not held back two mugs he probably wouldn’t have noticed. The kid always moves so well, can make it look extremely hard or extremely easy. Maybe that depends on his mood too. Someone with a smile like that Hyunshik doesn’t even think he gets mood. It’s subjective maybe. Taeyang moves against the traffic of the shop, so quick but so blended in that if it weren’t for the hair no one would notice. They do though. Hyunshik does too.

“Pardon me?” Taeyang asks, confusion still fitting right above his smile, hands reaching to fit the next two drinks in his arsenal, the two drinks Hyunshik is holding particularly hard onto. It’s the first set of words he’s said beside his order and really if the smile hadn’t prepared Hyunshik’s defense so well the voice might have caught him off-guard. Taeyang talks like he looks really. Low, sleep-ridden but bright as his smile.

“I said do you need help?”

“With-----?” Taeyang starts and Hyunshik does consider repeating himself but it’s the sigh that catches the boy’s attention. “No I got it! Besides it looks like you’ve got your hands full.” Hyunshik swore he wouldn’t turn to look and see if that line doubled, cafes have a tendency to do that. He swore but Taeyang is laughing too. It’s a triple threat and he’s really only looking away to save himself some face. Sure enough the line doubled in size and by the time he looks over to say goodbye he hears the chime of the door and sees a flash of pink. He’s back by the machines and gets a two seconds in before his co-worker teases him.

“You weren’t thinking of leaving your shift to help that cutie were you?” And Hyunshik for the life of him knows he should respond quick. Knows that anyone who understands and knows him knows he wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Skip out on his pay? Not work his full hours to help some boy with a load he brought on himself? But he pauses instead, pauses, shrugs his shoulder like he isn’t listening, like he doesn’t care and calls out the next drink.

For the life of him he can’t decide if he’d actually stop and help Taeyang.

He gets to entertain the thought faster than he would’ve thought. It starts off as a slow day and Hyunshik doesn’t know what it is about this boy that he seems to carry the tide of an entire day with him. In his smile, his hair, his shoulders, everything hints to a world moving too slow and too fast all at once. Taeyang has become a ripple in daily activity.

It’s a slow day meaning Hyunshik can take time with orders, can actually put the right amount of milk in a latte and a cappuccino and not get a dirty look from pretentious coffee drinkers. He can get assigned the specialty duty and he won’t complain. It’s one of those days when he can actually lean against the register and breathe. It’s a Tuesday, Tuesday is the calm after the Monday rush, people settling into the week. Wednesdays are more like people trying to make it to the end of the week and Friday is the welcome to the end. But Tuesdays are a nice lull from Monday resentment and sometimes Hyunshik welcomes it. Coffee shops will always be busy and he doesn’t get paid per customer but per hour so he makes sure to put in work when it’s due.

The relief is appreciate and his eyes even come close to closing when that ding of the bell signals a customer. He’s not sure what he hears first, the shoes scuffing across the floor, the fabric of the scrubs brushing back and forth or the heavy pants coming from familiar lips.

Taeyang brings with him every stress, every tear in his day and though it rips through the coffee shop he still manages to wear it calm and bright on his face. His world could be upside down and he’d hang gracefully.

“How can I help you?”

He knows the kid must be in deep shit because he pulls out a list, right after flashing an apologetic smile. Gentle as he is, he sure knows how to change the tide of the shop.

It’s halfway through reading back the order and Taeyang fishing through his pocket for his card that he has to ask. “How do you plan on carrying all this back?” Taeyang has this expression that Hyunshik’s really getting tired of, the kind where he looks like he doesn’t know why he’s being asked what he’s asked. Like everything is painfully obvious and not so complicated. It is though, it makes no sense why someone would toil so endlessly like this.

“I don’t plan, it just happens.” In his answer Hyunshik is painfully aware of just how simple Taeyang tries to make things. It’s another thing he can’t wrap his head around. Why not acknowledge it’s difficult, bitch and moan if he has to. It’s a great stress reliever.

“That’s some faith in your abilities. Must be nice to be clumsy.” Hyunshik’s not saying it because he’s clumsy or because of envy or something. He’s digging without noticing and Taeyang doesn’t really seem to get it. Either that or that’s always his expression, dazed and confused. The boy should be a model. They love the lost looks these days.

“What?” “What?”

It takes Hyunshik two seconds to realize Taeyang is talking and another two to realize he spoke out loud. Usually it’s not a problem, his filter however nonexistent is something he accepts and deals with. He’s actually grown to have power over the situations it puts him in. Right now however – not as much.

“Did you say I should be a model?” “Yeah you’re always staring into space, I’m surprised cars don’t hit you on the way to work.” Hyunshik doesn’t notice that Taeyang’s moving, maybe because he’s busy moving himself. Talking with his hands and getting to feel himself again because he feels a little out of it, caught for a second. Taeyang’s grabbing for the carriers and Hyunshik’s paused to look at him, moment forgotten and irritation back.

“You’re going to drop them.” “I never do.” “But you’re going to this time, that’s twice your normal load, what do they enjoy torturing interns? Do you enjoy them torturing you?” He’s speaking a lot but he’s also moving a lot. Mainly because Taeyang is moving away, well trying to and Hyunshik’s tried of gripping at the counter in annoyance. So he grips something else. Two carriers and three bags.

“Listen, I spent too long on all these orders, way too long for you to drop them and come halfway in asking for me to make them again. Do you know how annoying a soy decaf macchiato is?” He doesn’t really complain like that, well he voices what annoys him but doesn’t complain about his job. So to Hyunshik he doesn’t know where the words come from or why they come but he lets them. One, he has nothing else to say about it and it’s convincing. Because Taeyang flinches at the thought of dropping them and putting him to work and his selflessness is probably Hyunshik’s only ticket in.

“You won’t get in trouble?” “Not if you hurry the fuck up.”

Hyunshik’s moving like he knows the way but also to get out of the line of stares, one from his co-worker who’s cheesing way too hard and from Taeyang who’s appreciating too hard. His smile is small but takes up all the space around him, that smile with that goofy ass stare of his.

“Hyunshik-hyung.” That shouldn’t catch him off-guard and he turns around quickly to pretend it doesn’t, ready to throw whatever’s in the bag at Taeyang. “The hospital’s this way.”

Hyunshik’s grateful for a few things, that Taeyang moves pretty fast ( faster than he thought ), that Taeyang’s leading the way because he doesn’t see that he’s moving too fast, and that he’s following because he can’t catch whatever it is that’s going on on his face.

It’s after the route that he feels his previous anger resurfacing because was this kid really going to walk here with all these and expect to make it. And did he pass all these people with no one helping him everyday? He never spilled on the train? Not once?

“You’ve got that look again.” “What look?” If he’d been doing anything he stops now, sees Taeyang staring directly at him and that they’ve stopped moving. Since when did he fall so easily in place - or maybe that’s just the space around Taeyang, time moving at it’s own accord.

“Like you’re upset with everything, too many things at once.” “Some things annoy me.” For a moment Hyunshik catches another smile, it’s got a little too much in it so he looks away. The moment moves quickly because Taeyang’s head cants, Hyunshik sees it in the corner of his vision. “We’re here hyung.” Honestly he should’ve known better than to take his eyes off Taeyang. The moment he does the carriers are out his hands, all except on and a bag and is this kid even human? He turns from the hospital to his hand and back again only to see pink, as always.

He’s gone. He leaves the space between them as light as possible. Except for the weight in Hyunshik’s hands that have him looking down, a bag with a muffin and scribbled with words.

‘Thanks hyung! Ummmm your co-worker said you liked cranberry? You need a break so take your time going back to the shop. Also ummmmm xx-xx-xxx-xx ><’

Hyunshik knows a few things. One, he’s going to kill Joowon. Two, he’s going to eat the fuck out of this muffin. Three, he’s going to kill a certain pink-haired boy the next time he sees him.

[560am-blog]

of moods and men.

Andrwon.

There were several things that could put Hyungwon into a baking mood, but there were very particular baking moods that he got into. He was well aware of them and if anyone tried to spell them out to him he’d still deny it. There’s a predictability to them that he doesn’t like being reminded of, and yet he’s sure Andrei has grown to categorize them well enough.

There’s stress baking where he spends half the time mumbling to himself, some of the words intelligent and some not. Sometimes he talks out his entire plan, sometimes he curses though not often. He doesn’t notice Andrei which is what allows him to pop chocolate chips in his mouth as he watches. These are the days that Hyungwon puts intricate patterns on cupcakes only after several tries to get the stress off his mind and actually focus. If he messed up he’d try and try until he could get the right topping and by then his mind had worked out the solution.

There’s angry baking, when he’s whisking so hard that his wrist hurts and his grip slips because of sweat. Where Andrei stands a few feet away in fear of getting splattered with batter. Where he’s mumbling but not about anything in particular maybe about a lot of things because it takes a lot to get Hyungwon mad and he has to be especially upset to take it out on his counter. He bakes bread on days like this because he can knead and pound to his heart’s content and sometimes, sometimes Andrei will wait until it’s all done and massage his hands while he cools down. Tea and bread after usually helps.

Then there’s regular baking where Hyungwon’s just got time on his hands and maybe just maybe he can try out a new recipe. Maybe he can spend time messing up and learning and enjoying the process for all it’s worth. Andrei isn’t allowed in the kitchen on days like this but he gets a good view of Hyungwon humming and burying his nose in whatever book has his newest pleasure in it. These days happen more often than not and Hyungwon likes to let them last.

Today is a little different. The music is low but he doesn’t have anything pop-ish playing and if he noticed he probably still wouldn’t change it. It’s not anything he can move his hips to and that alone should say enough about his mood. He’s singing, loud enough to cover the music but not as cheerful as usual. He’s not smiling, he can feel the frown deepen with each back and forth he makes to the book and the counter.

Andrei walks in, Hyungwon just scrunches his nose and continues. If there’s anyone who’s able to tell the shift in the mood easier than anyone it’s Andrei. That’s how the taller male takes the cue to grab a chair and swing it over to the edge of the counter. Andrei waits, not for acknowledgement but for all the cues to fit together in his mind and Hyungwon just continues, mixing, stepping around and mumbling.

“Hey hey sugarplum what’s got you in a mood?”

That’s when Hyungwon looks up, the voice shaking him out just for a moment. He doesn’t have much of an expression, just him recognizing Andrei and registering all the things he could or should do. He could ask how Andrei got in, which is what the male expects, except his nose turns up further.

“If you’re going to stare come be useful.” It’s not a first but it’s definitely not the usual and it catches Andrei off-guard. Hyungwon, unfazed is beckoning him over to the counter, one flour covered finger calling and another mixing. Forever curious Andrei makes his way over, elbows resting on the counter and ready to ask before a finger covered in batter slips in his mouth. There’s a slight choke, Hyungwon’s face remains impassive, he’ll feel sorry later but not now. Right now he’s got something different in his eyes, uncertainty.

“Too fattening?” And when Andrei can actually breathe and let the taste settle he’s smacking his lips for effect.

“You can’t taste fat baby.” It’s not like Andrei has the answers to everything but he’s been doing a good job as far as staying on Hyungwon’s good side, narrow as it was. It’s not that he tried to he just liked the kisses he got when he did. So Hyungwon’s face pulling in complete annoyance and – distress? Andrei doesn’t expect that.

“That’s what I said!” it’s supposed to be a mumble but it comes out harsher, desperate and Hyungwon’s got his back to Andrei, back to mixing and looking in the recipe book. Hwan, busy watching her owner and her second owner move about the kitchen, takes the time to nuzzle Andrei’s leg. All he can do is give a small smile, wishing Hwan could talk and tell him exactly what he walked into.

“It’s sweet, but a subtle sweet. I like it.” Andrei resumes his position on the counter, careful to avoid materials unless he wants another snap from the baker in charge. He doesn’t know what it is Hyungwon wants to hear but he thinks going with the truth hasn’t failed him yet and it won’t now. “Too bad you’re not getting any.” “Ouch.” One is trying to keep things light and one is grateful but when the two look up at one another it’s hard to tell which is which. So Hyungwon looks back down and Andrei keeps his position firm, hand plastered against his chest. “I’ll make you a sweeter one later.” “I can think of something sweeter.” “I think, you don’t want to get kicked out the kitchen.”

And with that things aren’t exactly clear but they’re lighter and despite Hyungwon’s scowl he’s mixing gentler and changing the tune. Red Velvet comes on and while Hyungwon lets out a few hums here and there he doesn’t dance and Andrei takes note but doesn’t speak. He scrolls through his phone and every few seconds something new gets shoved in his mouth. This go on for a bit, half an hour maybe and when Time Slip passes shuffle three times with no movement Andrei is understandably worried.

“Andrei.” Trying not to look so starved for affection Andrei glances up from his phone only to see that Hyungwon still isn’t looking at him, rather at an empty section on the counter. “Mm?” “When you’re on a diet, what are the specifics? Model-wise?” “Don’t know, don’t follow them.” It’s true but it’s probably not the answer Hyungwon wants because all he gets out a sigh that goes through his entire body. It takes a lot for Hyungwon to spill anything just as it takes a lot for him to get upset. He keeps thinks tightly locked and though he has no reason to he just assumes everyone in the industry is out to ruin him. So Andrei tries again, ready to pull out what he can. “Less carbs, natural sugars? Everything in moderation because usually they have us work out too. They try fiber but no one really likes it. Protein bars and peanut butter sometimes just for long showcases. Oats to feel full. It’s all pretty complicated, lots of people don’t follow it.” Maybe it’s not any better, and too vague but it’s the truth and Hyungwon absorbs it the best he can, noting it down in his mind for reference.

Minutes go by again, this time with the second batch in the oven and Andrei latched to Hyungwon’s back, arms around his waist. He’s taken up the role of taste-tester again while simultaneously pressing small kisses to the shorter male’s temple.

“Too salty.” “Stop saying everything is too salty so I’d give you the batch.” Hyungwon laughs, Andrei sways some more and tightens his hold. “Stop making good batches and making me want to eat them all.” This is typically how taste-testing goes between them and Hyungwon doesn’t mind as he gets work done and Andrei will never pas sup trying Hyungwon’s cooking. Especially when he’s making new dishes such as the quiche that he slips past his lips.

“Too sweet.” “It has no sugar in it.” “I meant you.” “I’ll kick you out.”

It’s thirty more minutes of this before the last batch is put in and Hyungwon’s sighs become less audible, his body less rigid. Andrei doesn’t know if it’s relaxation or exhaustion finally taking hold but he keeps his own hold on Hyungwon and thankfully Hyungwon leans back into it.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or do I have to pry it out of you?” Not that he would and Hyungwon knows this but he’s laughing anymore. He’s laughing at the situation, how obvious it is to Andrei when no one at work could notice and at how Andrei manages to be so light and dive so deep into his most sacred areas.

“Mmmm. One of our models fainted today.” Hyungwon says it so easy, too easy that Andrei almost tries to search for a crack somewhere. It should be concerning but he feels the pressure in Hyungwon’s body return and Hyungwon prefers that to a hitch in his voice. “Everyone’s asking me if I’m worried about the company’s rep, what kind of image that gives us. But no one’s worried about her.”

It’s times like this that Andrei understands why he’s able to read situation with Hyungwon so well, know about his moods from subtle shifts and words. Hyungwon doesn’t really open up as easily as he claims, in interviews or in casual conversation, he’s pretty private. He’s so private and his trust is so deeply set in his fears that even he doesn’t trust himself to bring it out. At some point, whether between hushed reassurances or daylight smiles during shoots, Andrei wormed his way under parts. That’s why he gets this, strained words, and slumped shoulders against him. All Hyungwon, all unraveled parts.

“I just want her to be okay. I’m going by today when the press is down and I just – I don’t get it really but I want to help her.”

“Not everyone wants to be helped.” It comes out really before he can stop it but Hyungwon remains unfazed, a simple shrug and a snuggle into Andrei’s arms. “No but – Yeonhee? God Yeonhee smiles so much. So so much, she’s got those smiles you don’t see in the industry, like yours.” “Yeah but you like mine.” This remains mumbled into his hair and the sigh Andrei receives is both fond and annoyed. “Anyway, she loves doing this. Some people love things enough to let it tear them apart. But she doesn’t have to. I just want to help her.”

“Okay…” It’s a switch, where Andrei is quiet and Hyungwon is talking. Andrei is thinking, absorbing and Hyungwon isn’t. “Okay. Fiber is easier to keep down, avoid things that she would know have carbs in them she’ll be paranoid. Oats can be pretty good for feeling full?” At some point Andrei let go, at some point Andrei just watches Hyungwon flit around the kitchen, newfound determination in his eyes. It’s a gentle one, one that he doesn’t really see at the photoshoots, maybe when he’s perusing over designs. “Those oatmeal cookies you made are a good start and the bread you made, the banana one? That too.” Hyungwon stops and consequently Andrei holds his gaze. It’s not really fair the phases that Hyungwon goes through. From fiery to sweet and absolutely adorable. Andrei just smiles, chin resting in his palm and Hyungwon fixes his expression before he speaks.

“You love those.” “Yeah but I love you satisfied more.” And they’re back, sweet words and eye rolls.

“I’ll make you some later.” “Can I get you with them?” “Don’t push your luck.”

But Hyungwon does kiss him quick, well it’s meant to be quick. It’s thankful and slow and has a little more than a thanks in it but that’s fine with both of them. It’s needed and it’s all sweet and rough in the right places and when it’s over Andrei chimes in that he’ll settle for that until later. Hyungwon laughs, Ladies Code is blasting and the mood is better. New but better.

They wouldn’t have it any other way.

[560am-blog]

popsicles, grease and lots of love.

jaeri. 

“Come nawara wara ung nawara wara.” There was something about singing girl group songs that always helped him focus when he was under a car. It always helped him relax about the fact that he was well, under a car. Playing something like BigBang, unless it was a song like The Next Day, Jaesun preferred to be outside the car. Bang Bang Bang isn’t fun when he ends up banging his head on the engine of someone’s car. Also keeping in mind that his injury means nothing if he dents that engine. So Jaesun tries not to get too hype to CLC.

“Those aren’t even the lyrics.” And while singing along to girl groups helped calm him down, nothing quite matched to having Haeri in the shop as well. School was starting back soon but they had enough free time lately to hang around the shop while he worked. Hot and humid summers marked the start of a new semester and honestly Jaesun didn’t know how much longer he could last under the car without passing out. That doesn’t stop him though from matching her words obnoxiously.

“COME NAWARA WARA! UNG NAWARA WARA!” if anything having Haeri here makes him more likely to hit his head when he responds like that. But he’s smiling as he does it, moving his feet because he can feel what might be a popsicle stick hitting his leg. “That better not be the last one.”

“Work harder if you want some.” He can hear her talking over yet another one and he wonders how much longer until she’s complaining about a stomachache. He can hear it though, the slight worry in her voice. As much as she teases him he’s found it very easy to pick up on the shifts in her voice and her words. He doesn’t always hint to it, not aloud anyway. But he knows she hates it when he’s directly under cars like that. In fact Haeri told him he takes her from one heart attack to another, worrying about him getting knocked around in the gym to a car falling on him. While he assures her the second is less likely even Jaesun has moments where he worries about his safety, fingers sticking up into the nether regions of a death machine.

So he understands when she says it like that, with her mouth wrapped around a popsicle to try and mask the worry, he only smiles. He smiles and continues adjusting the gears between his fingers. He knows it’s just another way of saying get from under that car. “Leave me a purple one!”

“Who even likes purple popsicles, they taste bad.” “Ummmm no, that orange one you have in your mouth right now probably taste bad.” “It’s orange sherbet.” “Orange sher-tastes-bad.” “You’re annoying.” “Love you too.” “I’m eating the last purple one and leaving only green.” “Haaaaeeeerriiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.” And despite how close Jaesun’s mouth might be to a gear he’s trying to tighten, he calls loud enough for it to echo over the music and through the back of the garage. “Can’t hear you over the sound of this popsicle.” He knows she’s talking over a popsicle but he has enough faith to believe it’s not his favorite. Well, enough faith because the moment he finishes readjusting and aligning the set he’s sliding from under the car, eyes zeroing in on Haeri who is indeed eating a purple popsicle and grinning at flavor him smugly. His mouth fashions into a pout, contrasting the thump in his chest at seeing his girlfriend sitting comfortably, in shorts and a tank top no less.

“Haeri….” It comes out as a whine, oil smeared hands falling onto his jeans. He stares up at her for a few moments, pout still evident before she rolls her eyes, reaching to toss another purple one his way. Breaking into a smile that only she can coax out of him he’s ripping the package apart and attacking it. Another thing about staying under that damn car is it gets hot, especially when he only has moments to reach out and grab tools because he’s holding parts in place. It gets hot and he always cuts his hair around this time but he’s forgotten. So not only is his hair sticking to his face but his shirt is, the grease is everywhere and he’s sweating. Haeri notices and her nose scrunches up at the sight.

“I don’t know what’s worse, this or you after practice.” He only laughs knowing that he couldn’t argue, his mom used to kick him out the house after basketball practice if he didn’t shower at school. “But you’re here because you love me.” The popsicle’s done within seconds and he’s rising, grabbing a wet rag to wipe his hands off. “I love dry you.” “Still love me.” He’s singing it this time, nose close to her and her own nose still pulled up. “You stink. Like really bad you smell like metal.” “And you smell like a fruit orchard, how many did you eat anyway?” “Dunno.” She’s singing her response as well kicking her legs. Honestly if it weren’t for the oil and popsicle juice on his fingers he’d hold her steady to move between them. She’s probably doing it on purpose and one glance up lets him know that’s exactly the case.

Thing is, Haeri does this on purpose. She’s been doing it since she figured out the power she had over him. This refers to her knowing that he can miss her when she’s not around and cuddle up to her when he finally sees her, like after boxing practice. But when she’s right there, just a few steps away and he knows he can just wrap his arms around her if he didn’t have work, that’s a bit worse. It’s easier to restrain himself when she’s a good distance away but right here the pull is too harsh. It’s a little tightening too, makes his fingers clam up around the metal sometimes. The heat doesn’t help, the heat nor the sweat because suddenly everything’s on fire and the popsicles don’t help ( in more ways than one ). So he’s left with standing there, leaning against the counter and grabbing another popsicle.

“You basically ate a fruit orchard.” “Maybe.”

And all the innuendos are there, well they’re kinda there because he’s keeping his eyes trained on her legs and she’s keeping them trained on the wall. She claims to hate the stickiness of summer but well if anyone asked him it fit her well. Summer was always a little gross but Haeri has wormed her way into everything he didn’t like and made it bearable.

“A grape orchard.” She says after a few minutes and that’s when he looks up to see she has another grape one in her mouth, the last one. “Hae----“ She does things like this on purpose too, not taking his favorite popsicle but catching him off guard. Stopping him in his tracks literally when she leans over and gives him a big kiss, it’s silly and kind of loud but it’s a kiss. Not quite like the ones he’s been craving but it stirs it all up beneath his chest, has him smiling not stupidly but smugly. “There’s your grape you big baby.” And of course it doesn’t stop there because she’s got this silly curve on her lips like she wants to break into laughter, or that she knows exactly what’s going to happen.

It starts on her cheek, just as big and loud as her own and has her trying to push him away, playfully of course. Kisses on her cheek, the popsicle getting in his way each time she moves away and her laugh moving into the mix. He’s got his cheek full of popsicle and it only forces him to lean closer and kiss everywhere he can reach, smearing it all over her face as she yells in protest. He moves quick knowing there’s a limit to how dirty she’s willing to get. But she goes along with it, not pushing as hard, letting him in just as close to where he feels the smiles against his cheek and the laughter with his own breath.

It does smell like a fruit orchard and of course, of course she would still smell this sweet when he reeks of sweat and gas. Of course. Of course her laughter is all he hears over the roar of the engine.

Everything’s sweet and he forgets about the exhaustion that was once in his body. She does push him away when the stickiness becomes too much, when there’s purple patches on her thighs and her lips are red not just from all the cherry. He’s too busy laughing, pushing his hair back and cringing at just how dirty it feels. His t-shirt has splotches of purples everywhere and crumpled parts from her hands but he feels good, not dirty exactly. Vibrant.

“Don’t you look into my eyes and lie again, I’m sick of being alone~” And her laughter, just as it dies down, peaks again. This is why summer looks so good on Haeri. She’s smiling like she’s got no cares, not like she doesn’t care but she has none and there’s a difference. She throws her head back and she doesn’t wail she just lets it out like an exhale, like she’s got so much to spare. Sometimes the sun hits her in all the right places and sometimes she doesn’t even need it to look as bright as she does. He doesn’t mind spending days at the shop either, not when she’s sitting there ready to greet him.

It doesn’t take long to add the finishing touches to the inside of the hood and he’s wiping his hands on the rag when she speaks up again.

“You’re getting good at that.” He only looks up when he’s closed the hood and see her staring with an intensity that he’s not used to. All he does is grin, because his heart’s too full to handle where this is going. “You just like how I look fixing a car.” “Ew, no one told you to become a greasy as the cars you fix. Speaking of greasy I’m sticky and sweaty and dirty let’s gooooooooo.” Right now he doesn’t worry about her smacking his hands away because she’s pouting and she’s tired meaning she has bigger things to worry about then his hands on her thighs. He only uses it as leverage, moving closer to poke his nose against hers.

“Thanks for staying.” “Yeah yeah, thanks for getting me dirty.” “Love yoooouuuuuuu.” He buries his head into her chest, a force that has her pout turning into a smile. “Yaahhh you smell like gas.” She doesn’t push him away and if that wasn’t the answer he needed than her fingers threading his hair and the small whisper in his ear is enough. “Love you too.”

[560am-blog]

rock with me.

jbminz. [ x ]

Nothing really prompted it. That is, they were sitting there as usual. Well Minzy wasn’t exactly sitting, she was sprawled out on the floor of the practice room, hair undone and sweat through her clothes. Jaebum was standing, leaning against the mirror with newfound energy she didn’t understand.

She’d been going for quite a while, she’s always been a bit of a perfectionist, repeating routines until it’s at her standards. But now the standards changed the expectations were suffocating. She didn’t let it get to her though, she could breathe easily, if the large puffs coming from her chest were any indication. She’s just, frustrated and that frustration is manifesting as exhaustion. Exhaustion in her bones, in her head, just exhaustion. She could stand up and keep going but she doesn’t want to, doesn’t even want to move. She just lays there and breathes for as long as the world will let her.

He’d been here for the most part, he’s been here through a lot of it actually, by her side, watching her practice catching her when she falls. She’s grateful but in moments like this it’s a little hard to split her one-track mind. She only catches him in pockets, when she’s dancing and she glances towards the back, when she finally looks off her feet and him, when it’s not all right, left, and one two’s. That’s when she sees him and that’s what she tries to hold onto. Minzy isn’t trying to find her ground in another person, she’s done it too many times and had it backfire.

But see, then the music starts and she can hear footsteps approaching. One thing that will never change is the way her body heats up whenever he’s near her. She’s glad she’s out of breath, she won’t give him the satisfaction. But the music is playing and it’s a favorite of hers, has remained a favorite and he knows it.

“Rock with me,” and he knows this, “baby tell me will you rock with me?” and it’s really unfair how he uses it against her. Knowing grin and softer eyes, eyebrows raised and a hand held out not in challenge but in a proposition. She’s up in a few seconds, with his help of course. Up and for the moments she felt she couldn’t keep going here he is, arms wrapped around her waist and chest pressed to her back.

Minzy told herself, several times, that she wouldn’t find this kind of peace in another person. That she could accept being on cloud nine, the butterflies and the clouds in her head. But this was different, this wasn’t lead in her chest or her feet, it was her heat beating loud in her chest, beating apparent and making itself known. Reminding her who he is and what he means to her, as if she could forget.

She’s got steps in her that she doesn’t have to worry about, movements that come as natural as the smile on her lips when his own brush her neck. When he starts moving against her, hips to hips and the sway so easy intimacy doesn’t come close. When he’s got more, whispers of the lyrics low into her ear, kisses against her neck, sweet and innocent and all-consuming. They slide down her neck, the warmth that is, it slides and spreads and this she’s used to. She’s used to feeling Jaebum even where he doesn’t have to put her hands, even when they’re wrapped around her waist and her entire body heats up. She’s used to that.

She’s not used to the slip and it’s so subtle she doesn’t catch it. It’s noticeable in the shoulders first, and usually the only time it happens is when she’s got her face pressed into his jacket and she’s letting out everything that’s been plaguing her. Dance has always been an escape, a lifestyle. For both of them it became something to hold onto when everything else was squeezing down. Now here he is squeezing her, here they are dancing and she feels something pop, loosen and slide through her body. Warm, reassuring, heavy. It has her smiling brighter, laughing louder and leaning further. Into him, into the feeling and into the moves.

It’s how subtle and simple it happens that she can’t notice. She can’t pay attention to how she must feel different, looser, lighter and completely rooted in him.

“Rock with me, cause baby can’t nobody rock like me.” Maybe that’s the truth, maybe despite her giggling at the words, hot against her ear, maybe it’s true. There’s no one else like him, no one that can make her body melt like that. Melt and come back stronger and lighter at the same time. No one else that has her entire body trusting so easily, letting him move them across the floor, moving when she didn’t think she could. Maybe it’s because it’s him, silly eye-smiles and flirty words. Maybe it’s him, strong hands everywhere and anywhere, and gentle words staining into her memory. It has to be.

It has to be why the moves are so easy. It has to be why the dance is automatic and everything blurs to the background. It has to be why happiness surges through her even in her hardest times.

It’s that little thing that reminds her that it’s okay to find her grounding in a person. It’s love and she’s got so much for him, she’s so in love with him it kind of knocks the breath out her. That or the dancing. Or the way he turns her around and kisses her senseless up against the mirror. Or it’s just all the above. 

In how he knows exactly where to press and how to press to get sounds that’ll have her body forgetting any pain it had, any frustration in her head swimming out until it’s forgotten. In how the music transforms around them, trying to catch up to them and the atmosphere thickens. In how his hands dig, they always dig and she wonders what the pull out but she’s got enough leaving her throat to have a good idea. In how her voice, previously worn out and strained matches his, and the mirror fogs up in seconds.

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to an hour.

Her body searches and his hands find her and claim and everything is as easy as a body against a body and love. So much love that when she’s worn out and laying on his chest, shirts scattered and belt loop digging into her skin, she doesn’t feel it. It’s light, everything’s light and hot and she wants to hold it in her chest forever.

“Hey,” Minzy looks up, her head previously finding comfort in his chest. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” It’s quiet, mumbled loud enough into his chest.

“Hey,” This time she doesn’t look up, she can kind of hear it in the tone. In how his hands stop fiddling with her hair. She can tell when he’s turned them around and her back is now against the practice room floor. “I love you.”

The rush will always be the same, flood down her chest from the words and even when she whines at it she won’t complain. She smiles instead, arms snaking around his neck to pull him closer, get him to feel it first, her lips against his and hear it next.

“I love you too.”

[560am-blog]

( @impudic jaesun & haeri + *^* )

in most cases jaesun would say he had things figured out. nothing could catch him off-guard.

“daddy.”

he tries not to look so startled because one, their son is supposed to be sleep. two, he tries to make sure their son is asleep before he lets boxing appear on the television. it’s moving towards nine in the evening and he was almost sure jiyoung would be asleep. haeri didn’t mind much but jaesun was a little obsessive in that sense. 

the words come from the side of the counter where sure enough a five-year old jiyoung is peeking up at him. jaesun doesn’t even try to fumble with the remote because their son is at that questioning age. so instead he just reaches down from the island stool and lifts his boy onto his thigh. jiyoung’s growing well for his age but no matter how much he grows jaesun thinks the boy will never get over his dad lifting him up. later on this kind of spoiling will backfire but right now jaesun can’t help but to indulge. especially since their son’s got haeri’s cheeks and doe eyes. jaesun caves every time.

“what’s up kiddo aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

“he was until he heard you yelling for the match.” he doesn’t need to turn to see haeri emerging from the bedroom most likely ready to strangle him if it weren’t for their son in his lap. 

he turns his head back as he enters the kitchen, ready to give her the same eye smile he always does. “I loooooove you light of my life, fruit of my loins, mother of my child.” it’s effective in that she’s smiling as she rummages through the cupboard, no doubt looking for something that’ll help put jiyoung right to sleep. the eternal battle.

“I better be all those things and more.” satisfied with the smile on her face jaesun’s ready to turn his attention back to jiyoung who’s pulling on his shirt. “daddy daddy daddy, I thought I was the light of your life?” now haeri’s laughing behind the sound of pots and pans and jaesun is wrecking his brain for a response. his hands hold jiyoung’s hips steady as he tries to avoid that look their son gets in his eyes when he asks a question. kids are always so innocent in their pursuit and he almost always goes blank.

“well, you know how the moon gets real bright at night?” he gets a nod, enthusiastic and quick. “mommy’s the moon, you’re the sun.” “ouch I thought I was the sun.” “your spot’s been taken yeobo.” he says it while kissing jiyoung’s head and tickling his tummy getting the giggles that can stop any train of thought from coming out. “wait wait daddy daddy!” never in his life would jaesun think their son would fight so hard to break free from tickles but here he is holding his hand up like a grown-up and jaesun can only blink at him. it’s a goofy grin though, out of the haze he falls in after hearing the laughter of his son. “mm?”

“I thought it was bad to hit other people?” now he’s blinking more so in confusion and a little concern. “yes why?” if jaesun had done anything it was drill the lessons into his son’s mind from day one. kindergarten only made him more aggressive in that aspect, not wanting to get a call that jiyoung pushed someone on the playground. “the people on the tv were fighting and daddy was cheering.” all the early lessons haeri’s mom gave jiyoung whenever he visited were taking their toll early. from the back of the kitchen he hears haeri laughing but his face has gone pale. “you broke daddy jiyoungie.” he feels his son move on his thigh and grasping at his face with small, chubby hands. no doubt scandalized by the prospect of breaking his father. “yeobooooooooooo.” “I can’t hear you I’m making porridge.” it pulls a chirpy yell of joy from jiyoung but doesn’t move him from the subject at hand. the kid is tenacious already, just like his mother.

“sometimes when people fight on the screen. it’s not real.” all he gets is a tilt of the head and he continues, albeit hesitantly. “they’re not hurting each other because they’re mad. remember daddy said when you’re mad not to hit anything or anyone?” now he gets a nod and it helps him continue. “these guys aren’t mad at each other.” “so why do they fight?” “because they’re good at it.” he regrets it instantly but jiyong wastes no time. “if I’m good at fighting I can fight whoever?” “no no,” jaesun almost panics but he’s waited for this moment. “you remember those kung fu movies we watch?” another nod. “remember how we said it was okay with both people?” “cause it was entrain---ment?” “entertainment yes. meaning they are pros.” “what’s a pro?” “someone who, can control their emotions. you’re not allowed to do this unless you’re in control of your emotions. all the big boys are pros.” he knows there’s a loophole somewhere in his words but for right now he hopes it’ll hold. jiyoung is looking at the TV with sparkly eyes and a small brain trying to wrap around it. “jiyoung isn’t a big boy yet?” “jiyoung is growing into a big boy.” that gets jaesun a smile when he moves to lift his son up and into the air instead. yep, this spoiling is definitely going to backfire. “when jiyoung is a big boy can he fight?” “Okay baby come eat your porridge.” like usual haeri is jaesun’s savior, if only letting him drown for a few moments. he puts jiyoung down for him to run over to the table. haeri is by jaesun’s side in a matter of seconds and his arms wrap around her waist. without knowing it jaesun’s heart was beating pretty frantically through the entire ordeal.

“you did good.” haeri’s voice is soft, hoping that their son who is too busy with his food doesn’t hear. he nods into her side finding the comfort he needed. she smells nice too, it’s probably the sugar and cinnamon from the porridge but he doesn’t care. “he’s still young you know. although you made it a little hard for yourself. you could’ve just said it’s a tournament for all the big kids, like in Pokemon. but no mister philosophical.” now jaesun’s laughing, it’s the good kind of laugh. one he needs without knowing he does and it’s one of the reasons he’s thankful for her. truly haeri’s the light in his life. “you’re tackling the next one.” she shrugs but he knows she’s going to tackle the situation with just as much fervor as him and he’s prepared for it. they’re new to this parent thing still but he thinks they’re both excited enough to get through it.

“jiyoung I know you’re making whirlpools in your food but if you spin it quick and put it in your mouth you’ll get whirlpool powers.” haeri smacks him. they’re both laughing though as the sound of the bowl against the table dims down. “If you ever want to fight please talk to daddy first okay?” “okay daddy!”

the porridge finishes in about fifteen minutes with haeri pacing jyoung after the chaos jaesun caused. that leaves jaesun cleaning the table and the dishes as she takes their son to bed. the night finishes like every other, chaos handled or chaos averted. every night won’t be as tricky, every question won’t be as easy but jaesun thinks they’re getting the hang of this. things would still catch him off-guard but he’s got haeri and quite frankly he thinks he can take it all.

[560am-blog]

xo.

( @impudic  haeri & jaesun )

“I love you.” Haeri giggles, buries her face in his shirt and jaesun is on top of the world. For the past thirty minutes they’ve been doing nothing but laying in bed. Ten minutes ago it’d been in the position they woke up in, with her pressed against his chest and searching for warmth more than anything. Now he was on top of her, the top of the duvet covering the part of her face that flushed the most.

“Jaesun shut up.” In other circumstances she’d say more. In other circumstances she’d hit him or push him away instead of hiding under the covers. He thinks that she’s probably feeling it too. The high. High off one another, high off the feeling of bodies and love and lust combining in a night. High off the feeling of sun seeping through the window and still unable to match their warmth. Intoxicated off their warmth, that’s what they are. His chest swells each time she laughs whether it’s small or large his chest tightens and swells at the same time and if she weren’t before him he’d probably die.  Except he won’t, because he’s searching for that smile again and giving a dopey smile each time he sees it. 

As much as he’d like to, they never get these moments. Mornings are always stolen by schedules. Whether it’s Jaesun being whisked away to practice or Haeri being whisked away to lessons they both never feel the joy of early mornings together. If they do it’s fleeting with either one clinging to it before the other wakes up. With them kissing each other goodbye or hurrying kisses before time steals them away. 

Winter hits and Jaesun expects free time but he gets packed responsibilities. He gets days he never thought he’d see again, with both of them barely meeting each other under the morning sun. He doesn’t complain he just smiles that smile when she’s kissing him goodbye or holds onto her lips for a few more seconds before he’s really running out. He’s traded his mornings for afternoons and free days, he’s traded his mornings for stability and that’s okay. But he dreams of them often and today is one such day where the dream becomes reality.

Jaesun doesn’t forget the night before, when the stress of schedules seeps out their bones and instead desperation takes over. He doesn’t forget practically backing Haeri onto the bed and swallowing any excuses as fast as they come. He doesn’t forget her complying, her arching and calling his name into the air, apartment walls accepting them with desperate thirst.. He doesn’t forget any of it. Maybe that’s why he’s so giddy right now, maybe that’s why she’s acting so shy, duvet covering parts of her body he’d traveled just hours before. 

“I love you.” “I know.” She’s probably rolling her eyes but he’s too busy humming and playing with the sides of her stomach he can feel through the sheet. She doesn’t squirm much, but her legs do a good job of trying to kick him from where he is. He’s firm in his hold because he’s enjoying it way too much to yield now. Haeri’s warm, warm even through the sheets, warm as she was last night and as warm as she makes his heart.

Small nips gnaw against the fabric, playing, searching and attempting to claim a spot but it’s all for show. It’s all to get the laughter out his lips and his own lips up and onto hers where they belong. Haeri’s not so small under him really. She’s got him wrapped and if anything he feels himself wanting to shrink against her. He doesn’t though, he just looks down at her, hands now pressed flat into the mattress, eyes locked. There are words, tons of words sitting on his lips and even more swimming in his eyes. But he sees her, flushed, pretty as always the bare skin of her shoulder peeking up as a reminder. His hands grip, willpower settled by a desire to just look and admire.

“God,” So many things to say, so many things to explain and instead he lets the only thing he can slip out. “I love you.”She’s smiling under the parts she’s hidden by the blanket and Jaesun doesn’t mind, it’s a smile he’s memorized for days when he can’t see it. Today he can hold it and claim it and she’s choosing to hide it and it’s really not fair. He smiles down at her anyway.

“I know.” She does. Well he hopes she does. He tries to make sure she does because what kind of boyfriend would he be? Jaesun’s never good at emotion and when it spills it tends to spill at the way out. He’s never been too shy with affection but he’s shy with words so the switch is noticeable and it startles her he can tell. It startles him too but it’s pleasant, a gentle rumble he tries not to think about and just push through. So he smiles at her words and nuzzles his nose against her, lips a few seconds from giving in.

“Yeah but in an alternate universe there are versions of you I probably haven’t said it to yet so I’m saying it for them.” “That’s lame.” “That’s love.”

And if his words aren’t enough he shows her again. All over her face, eyelids, lips, cheeks and forehead. Kisses, kisses and more kisses. Smiles, laughters and touches. Everywhere and anywhere. All morning and into the afternoon. Jaesun repeats against every part of her body he can and his chest expands and they become one again.

[560am-blog]

happy birthday!

( @aumiliieu​ )

January 5, 2016.

It starts with a text. It’s been awhile since she could play around like this but she considers it to be building the suspense.

Minzy sends it early, mischief fresh on her face.

( sms outgoing jae ♥  ) [IMGATTACHMENT] had to leave early. I’ll see you later!

He’s probably not awake yet, and that’s okay because when he finally does wake up with an absence of warmth she’s quick to get the symbols that show just how much he doesn’t like it. She does admit that even with the start of it all, she already misses the morning routine, waking up with small shuffles under the covers and gentle kisses. It’ll all be worth it though.

For now she sticks to the memory and hopes it’ll be enough.

( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) red or pink? [IMGATTACHMENT] [IMGATTACHMENT] ( sms incoming ) pink looks better on me tbh. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) you won’t be wearing it you dummy! ( sms incoming ) I will if you show up wearing it. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) this is why you get coal for christmas. ( sms incoming ) that’s not how I remember it. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) gtg!!!!!!

Frankly speaking Jb’s starting to become too much for her heart. He’s always been a little too much for her to take in the beginning but right now he’s catching her when she’s already yearning and it’s unfair. After all this time Minzy knows he’s still the master at this game but she’s caught up. She doesn’t underestimate him as much anymore because as much as his words have her blushing where she sits she knows the pictures have him rolling. She’s getting just as good at this.

( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) Photoshoot keut! [IMGTATTACHMENT] ( sms incoming ) as expected of my beautiful talented girlfriend who’s on her way home right now. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) I’ve got dance. ( sms incoming ) let me come. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) don’t you dare you’ll distract me, I’ll be home faster! ( sms incoming ) cruel woman. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) rest I know you need it. I’ll be home later.

It’s a red flag because really they would get no work done if he showed up, but also because he has a tendency to jump up and run over whenever he puts his mind to something and they absolutely cannot have that. Not right now. She knows the feeling, she’d rather have him here even if was to distract her but not today. Minzy swallows the burn in her chest and wonders when she’d become this needy for her own boyfriend. It’s a good thing though. It helps her smile throughout the dinner and on her way to the practice room.

Just for him. All for him.

( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) I’ll be home late okay, don’t stay up! ( sms incoming )  ㅜㅜ ㅜㅜ I have all these days off and you’re so busy. you’re neglecting me in the beginning of 2017. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) [IMGATTACHMENT] don’t be a baby ( sms incoming ) cruel woman. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥  ) love you too.  ♥

She’s been in the practice room for over two hours and she can pick up on how used to his presence he is. Not even that but the movements she’s picked up from him and him from her, minzy’s always been a little wild and fluid, jb precise and strong and even now her trainer’s looking at her with a knowing smile.

“You’re really going at it aren’t you.”

She has to. Two more hours and several runs later she gives in to her heart. 

( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) [IMGATTACHMENT] im so tired ( sms incoming ) now I know you’re just teasing me. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) you have no proof. ( sms incoming ) they say the longer you spend with someone the more you become like them. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) hoho then someday you’ll be the one melting instead of me! ( sms incoming ) how about you come by and we test that theory. ( sms outgoing: jae ♥ ) >< bye.

She is on her way though. She’s tired as hell but the bounce in her step is both one of anticipation and carefulness. How can she not be excited? It’s funny though, for so long Minzy had pretend there was no way she could be so helplessly devoted to someone yet here she is starved of affection. She understands his pain though, she had been busy this past week and the time they were looking forward to ended up cut short. He was as understanding as he could be and patient and right now she couldn’t ask for anything better. Especially after a day like this she understood.

A few hours apart and Minzy already misses him. A day without starting it with her kisses and hugs and she thinks she’s running a little low on energy. Maybe calling him her energy is pushing it but calling him her strength which he is seems a lot better. Despite the long day she’s had, the meetings, the practices, setting up and putting final touches minzy’s practically rushing to the apartment. The bundle in her hands makes things difficult but that doesn’t stop her. Only one thing is on her mind and it’s him him him.

He’s been tired lately with finishing schedules for the year and trying to get the clear just to have his schedules wiped for the first week of January. He deserves it. Hence the reason for her hectic schedules and even more hectic day.

Minzy’s not sure what to expect when she reaches the door. Jb has a habit of surprising her more often than not so when the lights aren’t on she panics. If he’s here that’s great though she didn’t expect him to be asleep but if he isn’t she’s in trouble. Dougie is at her feet in seconds and she wants to greet him really she does but her mind is on a roll right now.

“Hey dougie, where’s appa? is he sleep?”

“I knew you’d greet him before me.”

Minzy’s not as startled as she should be, his hands are a little cold but other than that there’s warmth everywhere instantly. She falls back into the hold despite her need to scold him for nearly scaring the hell out of her. She embraces it despite the voice telling her she’s got things to do because suddenly he’s everything she’s missed and everything she’s wanted and it’s only a day but she feels it like a lifetime.

“Yah, it’s your fault for lying in complete darkness.” Jb doesn’t say much for a while but he also doesn’t let her move. The bundle in her hands is covered though and she lets out a sigh of relief at planning ahead. It’s so easy, too easy to just fall back into the embrace, give him the bundle and just let the burn in her body take over. Minzy’s lasted all day though and breaking now would just be a disappointment.

“The bed wasn’t right without you there.” She knows the feeling. “Aigooo you laid on the couch all day?” “Yes I’m sore take responsibility.”

“Okay I’ll be there in a second, let me put my stuff down though.” It’s supposed to be a bit of a scolding because she really needs him to let go but she also doesn’t want him to, not for the whole night. He doesn’t pick up on the message really and that has her wriggling from the grip and the kiss on his cheek is quick before she scurries to the kitchen. It has to be done right. She’s not putting in all this work to get sidetracked right before the main event. “I promise I’ll be there now go shooo.” He seems to get the hint and she thanks her acting skills before watching his feet trudge off to the bedroom, Dougie in his arms. She hears him mutter something about being cruel after abandoning him all day and that makes her laugh.

“Yah!” 

Project almost forgotten she peeks her head into the bedroom to see him on the bed, stomach down and eyes focused on his phone. He can be really cute without even trying and her resolve almost breaks right there. The lights are off and his focus is completely off her. It helps her though, she can sneak the box onto the counter before jumping right on his back, legs on either side of his body.

“Are you upset?” Maybe she expects a response, maybe she’s not at all surprised when he tries to turn over but her hands remain planted in in his back. “Did you miss me that much?” Minzy has the control for the moment and if he looks up at her she’s going to fail.

“You’re here now so I guess it’s alright.”

“Are you still sore?” That’s how her hands start pressing down, with a question and a response right at his ear. She’s going to do this right. She starts at his shoulders because it’s easier to reach, and the easiest to draw from. The sigh? It comes out unexpected and rough but he doesn’t turn around. “....you’re really tense, didn’t I tell you to get rest today?” It’s because she’s in control that she can do this and it’s because she’s become more like him that it’s easier.The words still come out as if she’s shoving them out because despite it all she’s still nervous and new to it.

Minzy’s being a little selfish actually. Going an entire day without so much as a hug or kiss has taken it’s toll on her as well. So when he hands press down and linger she knows it’s not totally for him. She bites back a grin at that thought and only continues. This is the language she thinks they know better and after being deprived of it for an entire day she thinks this is the best way to finish off.

“You know it’s kind of hard to gauge if I’m doing this right if you’re going to be this quiet?” She’s really become like him it’s almost scary.The words are of course a little rusty when they slip off her lips, not as smoother she thinks but they have the desired effect. It’s either that or her hands pressing down into his shoulder blades and down his back. Trying to concentrate with Jb groaning like that is challenging but she makes it work for the most part. The heat that rolls up her body at each noise she lets ripple through her fingers and onto his body. Every part of him she couldn’t touch this morning she starts to claim now. Every sound and touch that’s usually hers for most of the day begins to melt between them. The first few moans break by and by now Minzy understands why it’s so hard for him to keep her hands off her when she’s like this. What she wants to do is swallow them up but there’s a swell of pride in her knowing she causes them so she keeps going. 

Kneading. Digging. Pulling. 

At some point his shirt comes off and neither of them are concerned about the fact.

Kissing. Grazing. Smoothing.

He’s not quiet. He’s not shy with letting her know she’s doing a good job and as thankful as she is it makes her body burn even more. It’s a good feeling. It helps her dig deeper, push harder and draw for more. Minzy’s always known Jb was fit, always known that he’s got the admirable physique of a dancer but she gets to appreciate i this time. She gets to look at it more and the pride she has shouldn’t even be her own but it is.

Even if her lips ache for his, this isn’t that different. Even if he’s not on her, flush against her she’s still hot, the room is hot and her fingers burn against every spot they touch. She usually lets him make a map, he’s usually the one scanning across mountains and claming spots and today it’s all hers and instead of nail marks there are gentle bits of red. She likes it for the moment that she has it.

It’s when her hands reach the small dip in his back that he starts squirming.

“Stay still.” she whispers above the skin, fingers curled around his hips. He’s not going to she knows that but it’s good to try. He’s always been a little sensitive by his back and truth be told despite handling it all well the flush that jumps up her chest when he lets out that grunt is a little too much. She feels it course through her whole body.

“Minzy.” His words go straight to her chest. “Nope, don’t be a baby.” It’s unfair. “But--- ah. It hurts.” That groan is too. “Shhhh.” She presses.

For some reason he does though. The first few minutes of pulling at the muscle hurts. That’s what she was told and she prepared for that. But she also prepares for when the hisses die down and mold back into pleasure and she’s got so much pride in her chest she doesn’t feel his body relax until it melts into their bed. Minzy feels like magic.

So she slides up, not realizing how hot her body had been until presses against his. The sigh of contentment Jb lets out doesn’t go unnoticed and she can’t help but smile as she kisses his shoulder, a giggle deep in her throat. He’s a few seconds away from dreamland but she hops out the bed, knowing her moves are left unnoticed for the moment. Remnants of her heat between her fingers and his skin still linger allowing her to shuffle around by the corner of the bed. It takes a few seconds and he’s probably a little too jaded to comprehend it. It’s good she feels good, wonders if it was moreso for him than her. 

Minzy checks the clock on her phone first.

12:15 am. January 6, 2017

Cake in her hand she leans over to perch her chin on his shoulder planting yet another kiss on it.

“Did you fall asleep yet?” A grunt is all she gets as a response and she works with it standing up fully with the candles on the cake now lit. “I need you to do one more thing!” It’s a little cruel considering after every massage she has she’d rather lay like putty in the bed but she’s practically bouncing in her spot, light illuminating her face as she does. When he does move he makes a point of exaggerating his groan. This is why she doesn’t spoil him as much. She’s still smiling, shining more than the candles themselves.

“Happy Birthday.”

The next few seconds are devoted to the realization, to Jb finally snapping out of it and inspecting what’s exactly before him. The cake, her, the memory, the day. Minzy doesn’t pay attention to when he sits up slowly, not to when he’s inches from the cake or her body is suddenly pulled between his legs. She’s got loads of butterflies scurrying through her veins that she’s glad he grabbed her first because the way Jb’s looking at her.

“Blow!” She says it to stop him but he pauses between it. He’s just as cruel as she is actually. There’s one glance at the cake and then another at her lips before he’s leaning in to blow it. She knows her boyfriend well though, oh boy does she know him. The moment the candles are out and she’s clapping and done setting the cake on the nightstand he’s leaning over for a kiss and that’s when her hand full of icing meets his lips.

“If you think that’s going to stop me------” it won’t, that’s why instead of waiting for him she’s the one who presses on. If her lips open a little more than necessary to swipe the excess icing off the top of his lip she’s not going to mention it. If she’s swiping her tongue at icing that’s no longer there she won’t talk about it. It’s slow. It’s sweet. It’s really sweet and she’s burning up. She uses her fingers in his shirt to steady herself because she feels it. Minzy feels the last bits of control leaving her. He’s leaning back, fingers hooked into her sweats waistband and he’s pulling her back with him. 

She’s doesn’t move back for the life of her she can’t. Even when he’s fallen back and she’s atop him, uncoordinated and attached she doesn’t move. Thighs pressed against the sides of his legs, his hands deep in the small of her back and moving lower and lower until she lets out a squeak when they cup her butt. It’s not like it’s anything new but she’s still squeaking and shuffling against her chest with what strength she has left. She’s breathless and he’s looking up at her with a look that means she has less than ten seconds to get this out before he’s back at it. Five judging by the way his hands run up and down her butt. She breathes.

"It’s your birthday and you get me all day today, so I’d like it if I wasn’t exhausted for all of it.”

Minzy must have said something funny because Jb starts laughing, right under her, hands still gripping her butt as if it were a common gesture. 

“You, should’ve thought of that before you got me like this.”

Well yeah. She should’ve.

“Okay but we can go on a date for your birthday. I got a new dress and everything.” To that he shrugs and she’s going to smack him if he weren’t drawing shameless sighs from her lips. “It’d come off anyway.” “Jae-------” He kisses that statement away and for a moment Minzy thinks she’s lost but he just smiles. “I’ve got you all day right? So what if I want to spend all day in bed?” “I-----------------” it’s dark and he can probably still tell she’s blushing.That and his damn hands won’t stop moving so she couldn’t get anything out if she wanted to. Truth of the matter was she was just as riled up as him and it would be a lie to say that wherever this was going she wanted it to stop. She finds the last bit of strength in her voice. “Fine.”

He’s ready to take the green light but she has one last word to get in. 

“How was the massage?”

At that Jb seems to think for a moment. Despite it all Minzy’s still nervous, more nervous than she’s been in a while and she gets a few seconds to sit in it before he’s turning them around.

“I’ll show you.”

And damn if she wanted to get anything out she fails because his lips are on her neck, hands running everywhere and all he gets is exactly what he wants. 

The rest of the night is spent with him fulfilling his promise to show her and between Jb’s name mixed against his lips and into the air Minzy’s sure she gets a good enough answer. His back is once again filled with nail marks, her body mapped with red and the air only knows the sounds of love once more. If she had any plans for the day they’re cancelled in favor of them against each other, sweaty and sated. I love you’s exchanged more times than they can count and even if things didn’t go exactly as planned ( as if she didn’t expect it ) Minzy can’t shake the pride in her chest at the happy birthday boy beside her.

[560am-blog]

a year like a day.

[ A Year Like a Day – 2LSON - soohyuna  ]

‘Yoboseyo?’ It comes out slow, muffled by the motions Soohyuk takes to fish for his keys and press the phone against his cheek. He’s mumbling a cute under his breath when Hyuna answers again. ‘Eo oppa?’ “Mm you just finished?” His steps are quick but not quick enough to bother his breathing, the night chill does a good job of that. He does he best to muffle the sounds of the door but the engine nearly tramples over her words. ‘Taking a break, you’re done?’ “On my way home.” He can almost hear the nod as he settles himself in the seat, seatbelt, Bluetooth and all before pulling out the parking space. “How long’s your break?” ‘Half an hour maybe?’ He ponders the words as he always does but the response is always. “Tell me about your day.” It’s almost a question but it’s such a routine at this point that it can easily become a statement. If not a statement it is very much so a request. He settles into the drive, hands falling into motion and mind falling into her words. It starts like this every night and like every night she begins with a small laugh and a gentle sigh.

Not much time passes or at least not by Soohyuk’s standards. Time seems to flow opposite to the traffic, opposite to the words in his ear and the music hollowed over the speakers. People always want to show Seoul as some hustle and bustle of life and he won’t deny that that’s what it can be not that that’s what it only is. Cars pass by. They zoom by, they cruise by, and the lights paint a picture of life rather than a generalized fantasy. This is a part of Seoul just as she is and just as he is.

“Mmm, isn’t it late for you?” It’s bordering on eleven, ten minutes until and the sun has long gone down. His voice lowers in octave, small enough for her to hear but loud enough to block the noise around him. Traffic blares outside the window but it barely breaks the atmosphere. He thinks. Is this the effect of her words taking up all the space he has around him, or is this simply the window blocking the noise like it should. It’s a little bit of both.

‘Ah oppa what are you talking about it’s never too late for me. I’m a night owl, always working, a busy bee. The queen bee.’ He hums to himself, a cover for the small smile on his lips. It hasn’t left since Hyuna started speaking around ten minutes ago and it won’t leave anytime soon. Small exhales like this remind him just how cold it is and he’s hardly dressed right for the weather. He’s got the jacket part down but he’s misplaced his scarf and driving with gloves tends to be uncomfortable these days. He prefers the cold nip on his knuckles where he grips the wheel. He doesn’t need to be woken up but he just likes a reminder that he is. He’s not tired but he was cruising through motions lately.

“Shouldn’t the queen bee get some sleep while her little workers run around and gather supplies? What happens when you exhaust yourself and can’t give proper orders?” The analogy stems from a little worry. It’s miniscule and not as abundant as it was in their early days. Early days as in days before Soohyuk knew the extent of an idol’s schedule. That was before he met Hyuna of course and by the time they became acquaintances he was well accustomed to the tiresome routine idols like herself subjected them to. It was eleven but she’d probably be up for a few more hours knowing her.

‘I can’t just rest while my workers do all the work what kind of leader would I be?’ He can almost see the mock indignation on her face, see her nose scrunching up as she leans into the phone. It’s almost too easy to imagine the actions taking place even in his absence. It could be a good thing though. It can be a sign of growth. Imagine that.

“Delegation dongsaeng, everyone’s got to sleep sometime.” It’s not a reprimand and he even says it with a small laugh because no matter how many times he scolds she’ll stay up. It’s wired into their bodies and it’s nearly wired itself into his. It’s not pointless worry or empty words because they come from a place of warmth and he hopes that’s what travels through the phone instead.

A short moue makes it ways through the phone and Soohyuk knows his words reach home. Hyuna’s words come out next and through pursed lips no doubt. ‘What about you? Shouldn’t you be sleeping right now? Late filming?’ He hears what sounds like her settling on the other line and if he thought the smile would fade he’s mistaken.

“Practice shots at the studio that’s all.” It had gone as smooth as it could have. He breezes through practice shots, perfectionism and all. There was no real agenda to today’s shots he spent it trying on new looks and going over open photoshoots that requested his presence. Simple and quick though he tends to stay longer than necessary. Tonight was an early night so he managed to pick up a few things on his way back. “Did you eat?”

‘Mhmmmm of course, what kind of question is that? I ate at around------ seven-ish?’ A pause. It’s different from the pause she takes to collect herself and it’s irrelevant save for the small frown on his lips.

“Four hours ago?” ‘Heh, I think I lost track of time?’ Since when has he gotten so good at predicting Hyuna’s movement. He can hear the shuffling around before it becomes apparent and knows she settling her hands in a makeshift apology he won’t be able to see. ‘Mianhae oppa, I’m a busy woman! I’m going to eat soon I promise!’ His scowl disappears as soon it comes because some nights people can hear it through a tone and that’s not what he’s aiming for. In fact he perks up at the thought adjusting in his seat with newfound confidence.

“Oh? We can’t have a queen low on energy? How will the colony thrive?” ‘They’re going to carry my legacy should I perish, I raised them strong! Wait we----- ah oppa have you finally transferred to my kingdom like you were always meant to? I knew you’d come. I kept a seat warm for you.’ He can hear her brightening with every word, the night old energy reviving as if she hadn’t been working non-stop for hours. It’s admirable. “In the court?” The car comes to a stop phone in one hand and contents in another as he steps out. ‘Secret!’ Soohyuk smiles and Hyuna laughs. It’s that simple. “Okay okay you tell me and I promise not to tell anyone else.” ‘Nope no way, a queen’s got to have some aces up her sleeve.’ “Is that what I am the ace?” He tries to close the door quietly but the alarm sets off when it locks. ‘Aniya you’re not getting it out of------ was that the car? Are you home now?’ “Heading to the door.” A small response and he finds his way around the double doors. ‘I should let you sleep right? What good’s a new recruit if he’s not ready for his first day of work in the kingdom.’ He walks through the corridors, passing past familiar markers and nighttime aids. “I should probably let you practice so you can sleep and eat too right?” ‘Aigoo. I promise I will eat after I do a couple more run through okay? Now you need to sleep you’ve had a long day too. Don’t worry about the queen worrying will give you wrinkles and what will your manager say?’ He tries not to laugh, keeps it down with the same smile as he comes to the door knocking lightly.

‘Okay okay I gotta go I think that’s my trainer, bye oppa sleep well! Sleep before midnight or your skin cells won’t grow back!’ He hears the word echo from the phone and from the room, the double effect almost succeeding in him breaking his cover but she opens the door first. Phone still in her hand, call still on and realization slowly settling in. It’s not too quick but Soohyuk thinks in the moment Hyuna planned to hang up she was leaving herself some space to breathe for the first time the whole day. For a moment he’s worried and in that moment her smile is soft and genuine instead.

‘Oh ya when’d you become this sneaky? Is that chicken?! Did you get me chicken? I was going to kick you out for not telling me you were coming because who knocks on practice room doors this late at night but you brought me chicken you’re seriously the best. If you didn’t have a seat in the court you have one now.’ He takes the words with a small raise of his shoulders but it’s the minute she reaches for the box that he lifts it to tap lightly atop her head.

“Yah, next time try not to spend so much time practicing you forget to eat for six hours.” There’s a whine, it comes with the aftermath of the hit he thinks but it also comes with him handing the box over to her with little problem. She does take the moment to mumble that it wasn’t even six hours but it’s quiet probably because it’s in between her reaching for the box. He turns away for a second, closing the door and slipping the jacket off his shoulders before she comes back into his view. There she is, two pieces of chicken in her hand and already dropped into a seating position on the floor, mid-bite and smiling up at him like he’s got a halo on his head.

Hyuna smiles, Soohyuk laughs and Seoul blends everything together as usual.

[560am-blog]

( @impudic )

“jaesun.” sometimes the way haeri says his name jaesun’s sure it was made just to come out her mouth. she’s not that tired but it seems to drawl out her lips slowly. it’s still early and he’s still blinking back sleep and the aftereffects of a shower that didn’t really wake him up. he’s not really complaining.

“jaesun.” she says his name like this more often. it’s that annoyance that’s more so a front to hide the blush on her cheeks or the embarrassment.

“mm?” she’ll say it when she can stare him in the eye and look away as soon as he makes eye contact. she says it to mean several things and sometimes nothing at all and he gets a swell of pride knowing that he can tell which is which.

for the most part they haven’t moved. he’s still sitting at the edge of the bed and up until ten minutes ago she’d been standing between his legs fumbling with the towel on his head. 

early morning runs have never been a favorite of hers, he’s usually met with her throwing a towel at him complaining about how she had to wake up with a cold breeze. he doesn’t do it as often anymore but today was an exception. there’s no special occasion really, he just felt the need to get up and run. it’s when he’s coming out that he finds her leaning against the doorway still half asleep and covered in his t-shirt. five minutes are spent running back and forth, his hair still shaggy and wet and her laughter echoing through the apartment.

jaesun conceded first, too tired to continue and let her push him in the room with orders to dry off his hair and the rest of his body before he got any closer. he did it quite lazily too and he knows with the cold air circulating the room and the look she gave him from her stance at the doorway he should hurry up. patience as anyone knows isn’t haeri’s strong point so it’s only a few more moments before she hurried over and proceeded to towel dry his hair on her own. that brings them to the present, him looking up at her with small droplets still clinging to his hair and her hips in his hands.

he’s just been sitting like this, smiling silly at her and holding her tight. maybe she’s flushing from the proximity, maybe she’s still a hot from all the running. jaesun doesn’t know but he won’t ask. he’s just thinking about it. thinking about things like how gentle her face looks when she’s alive, and really alive. after moving around so much and bursting from the seams she looks brighter than ever, softer and he doesn’t know what to do with himself so he keeps his hands firm.

he’s beside himself with wonder. he took a shower to wake himself up but he feels like he’s floating, like the body atop him isn’t real, none of it is real but he presses himself closer to make sure it is. she’s got her legs on either side of his body, thighs pressed up against him and she’s not complaining.

“jaesun.” “mm.” “stop it.”

oh that’s right. he’s staring. he’s staring pretty damn hard. he’s rubbing circles in the parts of her body he’s memorized, the small dip of his hips. he could move down and give them the attention they deserve, highlight the fact that they’re not covered by anything really. he doesn’t though. he just looks up at her, gaze shifting from his shirt to her hair, noticeably shorter and her face. wow her face.

whenever she tells him to stop it she gets this pretty flush on her cheeks and he’s mentioned it plenty of times before. he doesn’t tease her as much about it either because he finds he likes it. he likes tracing it with his thumbs, kissing her cheeks and feeling her nose pull against his when he does. he doesn’t do that though, he just lets his chest warm at the memory and the idea that he can.

there’s her nose too. jaesun talks about her nose all the time but never really explains what’s so cute and endearing about it. he’s never had the time to think about it and it’s never seemed so simple until now. nothing has really seemed this simple actually. how he’s pretty sure the windows in the room are closed but everything around her is hazy but so clear it’s glaring. how she brings the steam from the shower with her, in her hands, in her body and surrounds him with it. love’s kind of like that isn’t it? a hazy feeling that’s glaring? he can’t describe it but he wants to hold onto it.

he hasn’t let go of her either. she hasn’t made a move to but he probably won’t. he’s going to hold her and hold her and probably cry at the fact that he doesn’t have to let go. he’s going to hold her and marvel that at everything he now knows, the curves and the rough edges and the gentleness of it all. love is like that too maybe? gentle in caress but it hits him like a brick, kind of like it’s doing now.

“jae-----” “I love you.”

or a train. a train works too.

sometimes when haeri focuses too much she goes a little cross-eyed. when her brows furrow at him as naturally as breathing and he just continues looking up. he hasn’t moved at all and he doesn’t know if she’s even tried moving.

“I know you do you dummy. I love you too.” “Yeah but I mean? I love you. Like. I really fucking love you and it’s kinda crazy and I kinda feel like I can’t breathe but that’s cool.” “It’s because you went running before the birds were even up.”

he’s rambling and she’s shortening. he’s a little everywhere with his words and she’s trying to spit out that one sentence and this must be what love is too. becoming parts of one another, growing. haeri’s rawness in honesty and jaesun is striking silence yet here he is being brutally honest and here she is being silent.

“I mean I wouldn’t mind going up for a run like this if you’re always here when I get back.” and there it is. he’s still giving her this dopey look, his smiles are always lazy, sometimes a little crooked but always full that it covers his entire face. “Jae----- jaesun, I have morning lessons you know? I won’t always be here.” “I know but, one day you won’t have morning lessons you know? And one day you won’t have to worry about leaving the bed. Or worry about when I’m coming back.” The spill is so easy he sort of understands why Heeri is a bit like that. He feels lighter. He’s swirling between reality and possibilities. Everything’s blurred but it’s nice and he’s not stopping. “You expect me to wait for you all day?” “No I expect you to come back home.” Haeri has a few pauses here and there but for the most part he’s buried her fists in his shirt and her head in his neck. He doesn’t move to look at her he just holds her. He continues to hold her until they’ve fallen back on the bed, hair finally dry and head finally out the clouds. The fall back doesn’t ground him really, and neither do her shuffles in his arms. It’s a little unbelievable, the feeling he gets from her just being in his arms, just being close and being her. He’s a little greedy, he wants to do this every morning but he settles for all this morning and maybe tomorrow too. Even when he’s full his heart just seems to grow each time. Jaesun thinks he’ll never quite get enough.

“You know your stomach’s growling right?” “Shut up.”

They don’t spend all morning like that because eventually they do get up to eat. He doesn’t really need to hear much from her, aside from the fact that she stays attached to his hip with every move he makes in the kitchen. The fact that they lay in bed for another hour of her stomach growling is enough for him to know she’s okay with having every other morning like this too. when haeri calls his name after he nearly lets to food burn so he can tickle her, well jaesun’s sure there was a lot more than his name that was made for her. his mornings, his hugs, his love. all made for her. all hers to claim.

[bobbyindaeyo]

[560am-blog]

( soohyuna + late nights bc that’s their thing )

“okay okay so what do you think?” that gets her a laugh. soohyuk’s laughs are always sudden but they slip so smooth into wherever they are. right now he’s at his place, the laugh slipping through the phone and over to her at the studio. “I, really don’t think I’m in any place to judge it.” that’s his way of not voicing all his thoughts but leaving things up to imagination, at least that’s how it is to hyuna. that gets him a curl of her nose and a moue so easily coaxed out. she rolls her eyes with playful annoyance from where she’s seated in the studio, phone shooting her from the reflection of the mirror.

“oppa I didn’t call you for unhelpful comments, I really wanna know what you think.” there’s really no desperation in her voice but there’s a firmness that shows she’s serious despite the pout on her lips. honestly why else would she let him call this late to ask. hyuna enjoyed talking to her friends but she could just as easily tell him she was busy and work on the choreography, minus the fact that it’s a routine for the two now and he’d called her the minute he reached home. soohyuk sits up this time, he’s been sprawled all the way out on the couch but sits up just enough to appear more alert, as alert as he can be after an all day shooting. fatigue wears easy on him, doesn’t really show except to people who know him well and even they have a hard time seeing it.

“are you tired?” he’s quick to shake his head and not because he doesn’t want her to think he’s tired but because seems to get the boost he needs from every conversation they have at the end of the day. at least enough to wrap the fatigue into comfort and movement to get the day over with. hyuna’s a vitamin in that aspect and whether or not it’s something she is with everyone or just him he’s grateful for it.

“aren’t you?” but he’s laughing and he’s quick to follow his own words with a statement. “it’s intense.” that’s his real answer. he’d only been quiet through the whole show because he felt his words were a bit, inadequate. not as technical as she might be wishing for. he’s not entirely sure why she’s coming to him for questions though hyuna thinks the answer should be obvious, not too obvious but obvious enough. “I think because we haven’t seen a lot of your performance this year, it’s intense. A good way to end the year. it’s like a wrap up, intense because it’s you but not too much, leave them anticipating next more.” 

there’s probably more to say, about how it should leave people feeling starved even though they’re full. about how they needed more and didn’t realize until they received it full throttle. it’s a little pinch in the direction of CUBE but he’s far too tired to mess around with the details. it’s why soohyuk ends up running his hands through his hair, waking himself out his thoughts enough to see her mulling over her own and his words.

“ah mian, I’m not too good with the technicalities. was that too generic?” he’s not worried about it being generic though. he’s worried about the pinch, the pinch meant for other people, not necessarily less dedicated people but more worthy of the pinch. if anything, soohyuk’s been in the industry to know quite a few things, hyuna too. he knows when to hold his tongue and when to slip. when to loosen and when to tighten. he’s far past loosening his tongue around the wrong people but he’s spent enough time with hyuna not to worry about, or pay attention to the fact that he does loosen. it has something to do with the comfort too, how he’s talking to her with his suit jacket off but his button down beneath and tie halfway off. how he’s barely kicked his shoes off before he fell into the comfort of the couch and the conversation. he’s not too worried about how generic the words might have been he’s worried about the fatigue slipping out the blunt force of the words.

but she’s smiling, she’s smiling after it all and shaking her head with that knowing telepathy that seasoned artists seem to have.

“nah.” it’s quieter but it’s bright. it’s not fake but it’s also incomplete. “it’s been a while you know?” he knows and he doesn’t have to say it but he knows. “I was wondering how the year was going to end and I’m grateful to end it like this but this, this was supposed to be for my fans? but it feels like it’s for me? that feels a little selfish?” and out of all the things that hyuna is she isn’t selfish. she isn’t selfish in her thoughts, actions, love. she’s thoroughly considerate and manages to leave some room for herself even if it’s only a little he wonders about how much smaller that space gets in times like this. wonders how she could dare worry about being selfish when she’s so selfless. it’s ironic too because before he’d been so concerned about others in such a selfish way he had to cut back and cut down. cut down on the space he left for other people’s concern as well as the concern he had for them, the desire for acceptance rather than comfort. he prioritized his comfort and if soohyuk were being honest it’s made him more selfish than anything but caring for himself allows him to care for others honestly. it’s weird, the difference but it works for the both of them. that’s why he doesn’t make a comment about it, not like it’s not his place but more like it won’t match. he let's her continue.

“and it ended up being not only for me or my fans but for them too you know--- not for them for them but-------” “for them to understand?” it might be the only time he steps in, he hadn’t realized how quiet he was until he really broke in but all she does is nod. “all of them.” whatever it was, the fear, the confusion, it breaks with his clarification, her realization. it breaks with a little bit of fire and suddenly she’s returning the pinch tenfold in just that word and it makes him smile because if anyone deserves to give the pinch it’s her and he’s glad she knows. “message received.” she brightens considerably at that head lifting and voice spiking. “think so?” soohyuk’s never understood, how someone who can display such confidence and such presence in a single second can reduce to quick uncertainty. the words despite the joy in them are still worried, humble and his smile breaks through the screen to match, and reassure.  “yeah, I think so.” at that her shoulders slouch not with pressure but with a bit of relief before she’s catching herself again and throwing finger guns in his direction.

“hoho see oppa I knew you were the right person to call about this.” she comes back in small steps, quick banter. he reciprocates with snort and a reply. “I don’t know, I think your trainer might spot a few step mistakes that I wouldn’t.” “yah shut up I did that routine flawlessly.” easy teases and playful egos. “oh yeah and why’s that?”small tugs, “because the queen has no room for mistakes.” and big bursts. she’s practically standing now, bending uncomfortably by the mirror but showing off her queen status with a flex of her arms that he can’t help but laugh. he lets the smile leave but if only to tsk at her. “don’t mistakes bring growth saeng.”  “yeah but I can’t make rookies mistakes like that to be on this throne.” she’s quick with this one, he sees the quick thought that it brings but she’s quick with newfound determination. “aigoo our hyuna always sets the standard high.” now he’s laughing more so at the peace sign she shows him in a response.

“you know something oppa.” it’s after they’ve settled down and she’s gone over the routine a few more times, with an enthusiastic audience on his part. he’s taken the time to change out the suit and into sweats and a shirt ( not without her commenting how indecent it was of him ). “what’s that?” “if you tell anyone about this routine I’ll have to send my minions to kill you.” his laughter is always, always easy with her, but at this it comes out rough and thoroughly unexpected. bright and louder than usual and he misses the proud smile she shows during it. “wah, do you have that little faith in me?” “I know you’re tempted to tell the world but you have to resist!” “Ah ottokhe, my hand is already in a group text! You caught me I was explaining the whole thing to my friends, I’m about to send the message. What do I do I don’t think I can stop myself from sending it!” he really makes a big spectacle out of this too. He’s glad he doesn’t have neighbors but he wonders if they’d actually hear the fuss he makes. He’s holding the phone with fake difficulty, letting it shake enough in his hold and his posture convey as if he were texting. Hyuna takes the bait.

“ANDWAAAAE andwae andwae, you can’t! you absolutely cannot! This is a secret. A huge. Order of your queen you cannot reveal this to anyone!” “Must. Resist. Urge.” He’s no longer concerned with how simple ridiculousness looks on him. Or how much more relaxing these actions are now, how routine they’ve become. He finds himself prompting it this time. “I don’t think I can do it...you’re going to have to do it. Send them over. Tell my mother I’m sorry.” “Listen oppa. Listen! We can get through this. I can come over! I’ll get your hand off the button. You’re going to be okay oppa. No one’s dying tonight.” He uses the other hand to clutch at his chest, he’s hit the peak of dramatics at this point.  “Our queen. So valliant. So loving of her court.” At this point she can’t help her laughter, the charade is broken and she’s on the floor doubling over. He coughs out the laughter after grabbing for the breath the act stole him. “Yah you’re unbelievable.” “Thank you thank you I’ll be here all night.” as the laughter dies down and he reaches for the remote her words break the calm. “Hopefully not all night you have to go to sleep.” “You’re one to talk. How long were you planning on staying in the studio hm?”At that she looks like a child caught with it’s hand in the cookie jar. “Mmmm thought so.” “No fair, I’ve got a lot of practicing to do!” “Do you want to open the sleep conversation or the perfectionism one?” At that she quiets again. Quieting Hyuna is not something most people can do and even if he didn’t know that she’d be damned if she let it show.

“Are you gonna watch a movie?” A grunt is his response but not because he’s upset or anything he’s just scrolling through the selections. They’re past him telling her to go to sleep and her telling him the important of getting as much practice as possible and as little sleep. They’ve entered a state of understanding that came from their talks but also their positions in the same industry. He’s worried but he trusts her and Hyuna’s always always going to do what she thinks is best before anything else. She can take care of herself though sometimes she’ll let him take care of her. “You woke me up you busy bee.” With that comes a mehrong, tongue poked out and everything. He also doesn’t notice her jacket on, nor the shuffling on her end. “Which movie?” “Not sure yet.” there’s a few more moments of silence.

“Zootopia.” “Nope.” “Bee movie.” “Nope.” “Despicable Me.” “Maybe.”

A few more and he hears a door.

“I’m out of popcorn by the way.” “Extra butter!” a glance down. “Fine regular butter.”

“If you buzz more than three times I’m not letting you in.” “Yeah you are.” she sings. Yeah I am. he thinks.

maybe it’s because he’s really out of popcorn and he’d forgotten to pick it up on the way home. who can watch movies without popcorn. maybe because she really did wake him up and she needs to take full responsibility. maybe because he’d feel like a total jerk for leaving her out in the cold for even a second more than necessary. maybe she really needs the movie night. maybe he just wants the company. her company.

they settle on the Peanuts instead. there’s a lot of stolen blankets and cold hands and popcorn thrown back and forth but there’s laughter and he thinks, mission accomplished.

[560am-blog]

troublemaker.

( @aumiliieu honestly where do I tag andrwon and ?????? )

“how do I look?” 

it takes hyungwon roughly half an hour to get ready for an event. depending on the event and his willingness to go the time varies. when it comes to getting ready for early morning shooting or last minutes touches he might take a little less and add less finesse to the routine. slacks, a cardigan and mussed hair do it for him during times like that. showings and red carpet events require a little more time and earlier, longer preparation. some nights he’ll spend getting everything ready the night before, knowing how meticulous he is with clothing choices.

times like this when it’s a small get-together of staff members, not necessarily a party but not necessarily a gala either he takes his time. his outfit choice isn’t that meticulous. he impresses but only because it’s natural for him. he takes longer time in the shower to wash the stress and anxiety off his body. it’s one of the few times he can. he spends time looking for an outfit but only because he’s usually in no rush.

it takes him roughly thirty minutes to get ready. he’s been staring at the mirror and fixing his cufflinks for about fifteen. he’s been finished. he’s in a rush right now and not because he made any promises to be there early, not because he’s memorized the guest list and not because he wants to get it over with. the event is simple, a congratulatory end of the year celebration for designers and models, freelance, signed, multi-company and all. if anything he’d like to take his time mingling and thanking everyone for his work, he knows it wouldn’t matter much if he was a little tardy. that’s not the problem.

the problem is, the voice barely five inches away from him asking the same question for the second time.

hyungwon’s response is a grunt and he fixes his necktie just to make it a little more believable, a little more pronounced. he’s not mad, when hyungwon’s mad he doesn’t hold his tongue.

“come on you didn’t even look at me.” there’s mischief in the tone, mischief characteristic of andrei no doubt. hyungwon can practically feel the smile his laughter slips from and he’s rolling his eyes.

“you look fine, you always look fine and I’m busy.” “you’ve been fixing your necktie for five minutes.” “you’ve been staring at me for ten.” “you weren’t answering me for fifteen.” 

all true statements. all with good reasons. hyungwon always pointed out how andrei’s looks were truly suited for a model. an easy way of saying that male was attractive and an even subtler way of saying he was attracted to him. all this time and he’s still a little shy about things like that. andrei thought it was cute. andrei likes to point out how hyungwon should be a model, how well his clothes always fit and how he suits so many styles particularly the boyfriend style. his not so subtle way of saying he’s a cute boyfriend. his maybe soon-to-be cute boyfriend. it’s honestly a little cringe-worthy and has hyungwon smacking him each time.

“you were distracting me.” an accusation. “please you were done dressing twenty minutes ago.” a derail.

“maybe I just like getting ready a little longer for today.” a possibility. “if you wanted to look that good you’d check to make sure I looked good.” a truth.

honestly hyungwon’s not even sure why he tries. he can’t really do anything now, he’s done fixing and refixing every part of his outfit. slacks, shirt stays, gone over his shoes about ten times and changes his pins and tie over three times only to end up with the same ones he’d already set aside for the party. he has a lot of willpower honestly. he laid his jacket on the bed and he’s starting to regret the decision. one last obstacle and he’ll be running to the hotel door. well maybe not running but briskly walking. the walk he does when he’s almost late to a morning shoot but he doesn’t want to sweat and show up disheveled. the commonality? he doesn’t want to appear disheveled.

the turn is quick and if he holds his breath or anything and hopes not to notice it does when there’s no one behind him, just the entrance to the suite and the bed with his jacket laying in plain sight. no he did not just let out  sigh of relief, he definitely didn’t hold his breath at the thought of facing the male.

he walks out the closet without another glance and moves to grab his jacket.

here’s the dilemma. hyungwon and andrei have taken to getting ready for parties together for a while. even if they didn’t share a hotel room, the male always made his way into hyungwon’s room ( no he most definitely didn’t give him a key ) and would get ready with him, or come when he was near done to get final opinions. like andrei didn’t know he looked good, like he didn’t know hyungwon knew he looked good. 

realizing he still needs to check his hair one last time he heads to the bathroom and busies himself with brushing his teeth, something he really should’ve done before putting on the shirt. he thinks he hears the door open over the sound of the water but he ignores it.

“did I leave my brown ones in here?” when he spits out the foam and doesn’t appear flinched at the sound coming from the closet he knows he’s probably a little too used to it. his response proves such. “mmmmmm check next to my fords, the black ones far right.” he really tries to pack light for overseas trips but he can’t help it. he really tries to appear bothered by the fact that andrei leaves his things in the room but he can’t help that either.

hair done to satisfaction and mouth clean the next task is to slip the jacket on. no difficulty here. he’s gone for full black this time, not as sturdier, the jacket itself is more formal than the entire outfit and fits a little tight for a pea coat anyway. he smiles at himself from the bathroom mirror until he hears a voice calling out.

“I can’t find it.” there’s a mixture after that, hyungwon both rolls his eyes and smiles at the same time. almost forgetting his dilemma he moves into the closet with ease, straight to the shoes in question but not without mumbling how his organization is now no more. the shuffle requires him to check his hair in the closet mirror once more knowing the scuffle past the suit jackets on the hangers might have messed it up.

“you look fine.” maybe before he might have frozen but instead hyungwon is laughing, his own narcissism taking over for a moment as he turns around. “yeah yeah I know.” he’s joking though smiling because he thinks they’ll get through this easy and damn near freezing when he meets the gaze of the male in the closet doorway.

so close.

there andrei is. he’s opted for white skinnies, a button down and a vest. days like this hyungwon is both happy and pained that the models don’t have to dress all out for the parties. 

reason number one is the reason for this entire dilemma. andrei looks stunning in a suit. everyone knows it and it’s not simply a model thing. it’s an andrei thing. all models don’t looks good in suits just how not all models look good in certain outfits ( all except andrei but hyungwon might be a little biased ). he always, always manages to find suits that compliment his frame and being a male so naturally relaxed in everything he does when he does wear suits it’s always a bit of a knockout. hyungwon quite literally lost his breath the first time they had a gala to attend.

reason number two is the exact reason hyungwon remains rooted in his spot. he loses his breath every time. it’s not quite as silly as losing his footing or his mind but, he always goes speechless. andrei isn’t even dressed all out and he’s already speechless, the exact thing he’s been trying to avoid since they first started getting dressed together. ask anyone how late they were to the event when andrei decided to show up at the door in his full suit. ask anyone but don’t ask hyungwon he’ll deny it and probably turn an embarrassing revealing red.

it’s not the fact that adrei’s stunning in whatever he wears. it’s not the fact that hyungwon loses his breath everytime he sees him. it’s a culmination of both that makes them both lose their mind. it’s the small tension and the obvious scan of one another that ends everything. it’s the apparent attraction, the underlying emotion and the reality of it all.

“nope. not today.” hyungwon finds his willpower again, after ignoring the stare andrei gives him and fixing his button down with vigor. “nope nope, move.” except he doesn’t move and andrei doesn’t move and they keep staring. this is how it starts. andrei lifts a daring eyebrow at him and hyungwon has no choice but to stare him down from his position.

“you still haven’t told me how I look.”

this is exactly how it starts. with andrei’s voice remaining that cheerful tune and still glazing over with something a little extra. hyungwon is tired, he lets out a sigh just to so such and is almost saved when his eyes close a second in exasperation. it gives him the power to take a few steps forward, talking himself through it. “listen no, we’re going to be late and we were almost late to the gala and I’d like to be on time and not just on-time looking a mess and I’m not getting ready all over again-----” 

he’s ready to continue, ready to complete his path out the closet but he stops because he feels it. he can literally feel andrei standing right at the entrance and grinning down at him. hyungwon is pretty tall, he matches up to some of the models but andrei, no andrei dwarves him. he doesn’t dwarf him by mere height though, he dwarves him by how his presence and smile make hyungwon a little weak and just a little smaller than usual. he hates it.

“andrei move.” he’s at his limit. he won’t even open his eyes. there’s not real bite to his words but he tries. “all I’m asking if for you to tell me how I look that’s it.” he wants to thank andrei for leaving out hyungwon’s speech from before. thank him for ignoring the implications and confessions that slipped out his lips but it’s short lived. “if you don’t we’re really going to be late because I’m not going anywhere.” “it’s literally always your fault we’re late.” he cracks. hyungwon always cracks first that’s probably what pisses him off the most. his voice doesn’t really rise but his eyes do open and they’re looking firmly at andrei this time. andrei who’s standing right in front of the closet door. andrei who has the all-knowing smirk on his face that says try me. and as if his face didn’t say enough he prompts, “how so?”

where hyungwon is right in implications he’s a little shady on details. while to him it might be completely true that it’s all andrei’s fault but the reasons why, should he dare reveal them he’d probably dig his own grave right then and there.

he pulls it together. not because he really wants to get to the party but because there’s no way he’s cracking again. andrei with his stupid smile and stupid shoes and stupid height---- “you look fine just------.”

“just what.” nope he’s not cracking nope nope nope. hyungwon scowls and steps a bit closer, directly under the doorway and reaching up to tackle the parts of andrei’s hair he always seems to miss.it’s probably on purpose, cheeky bastard. his breath doesn’t hitch and he’s actually focused on fixing it, tongue poked out and everything and then it happens. 

it’s quick. the kiss. it’s really quick and by time he pulls away hyungwon is still reaching up, a dumbfounded expression that turns into a scowl.

“why.” it’s playing on neutral because he’s trying really hard to be mad but also really hard not to whine or lean or do anything else really. andrei doesn’t even shrug, looking completely innocent he points up at the top door frame. hyungwon for whatever reason looks up and his scowl turns into a full on scrunch of his face. “you didn’t.”

“I did.” he did, he really did. hyungwon doesn’t have it in him not to smile but he does cross his arms over his chest in firm disapproval. “I’m not doing it.” “if you don’t you’re a grinch.” andrei’s smiling this time, words coming out in a sweet tune while hyungwon’s position doesn’t move. “I am not.”  “yes you are. no christmas spirit ah santa’s giving you coal this year.” andrei’s smart because hyungwon is if anything a family man and too childish not to have been crossing off his good deeds just for christmas. he’s childish in that aspect and it shows in his pout, still bold and poking out at the male before him. “if anything santa is giving you coal.” he’s practically scandalized at the male and he doesn’t even know why, the action has andrei all over it. he’s not really surprised as he is trapped.  “all I’m doing is embracing the spirit of the holiday.” andrei has the audacity to act innocent. “more like embracing me.” so hyungwon has the nerve to shut him down. “see you’re the naughty one.” “i’m not.” “you are.” “we’re gonna be late.” silence. “we’re literally never going to make it on time.” “it’s literally just one kiss.” hyungwon’s nose pulls all the way up at that because it’s definitely not going to be just one kiss and they’re definitely going to be late and andrei totally did this on purpose. hyungwon doesn’t even notice he’s said all of this before he sees andrei grinning down at him like he’s won and hyungwon’s acting as if the confession didn’t just slip out under his breath. he’s being childish, extremely childish. the season tends to pull that out of him. he’s also a little spoiled too, spoiled and a little needy. “one kiss?” a nod. hyungwon’s fingers, despite his reservations still bunch in the male’s shirt, tugging him up to press the quickest of kisses to the andrei’s lips. quick. it has to be quick. but then andrei is smiling against the kiss and denying him all access and all reasoning of making this quick and before things get any further hyungwon has to whisper out, “i hate you.”

he really means to say it to the mistletoe hanging above their heads but he’s pulled in quick. he’s not sure when andrei’s hands reached his shirt, or when his jacket peeled off but he does know, they’re going to be really late.

[560am-blog]

( @impudic )

It’s no secret between the group of friends that jo is a very strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even bother saying it she just has a fair rap sheet of all the people she’s turned down that have effectively proven it. She’s not even doing it on purpose she just doesn’t see the value in it. Not relationships, but giving boys the time of day. So yes everyone knows jo doesn’t need a man however, no one has said anything about the pretty sophomore who caught her eye.

jo is her own person first and foremost. she’s stubborn and blunt, reckless and has no filter. she does what she wants, say what she wants and occasionally hits who she wants.  so the fact that she of all people is whipped is hilarious to say the least.

( “hey jo here comes jinnie.” jaesun’s got this smirk on his face. the same one he always wears when he mentions the sophomore and jo’s got this determined edge to ignore him. she’s sitting across him at the cafeteria table, sketching and paying him no mind. haeri is busying her mind in a handheld but he knows where this will lead.

the sandy brunette bounces over to the table, always to jo’s side before anyone else. she starts with taking a peek at the female who remains busy with her work. “hey guys.” jinnie’s got a gentle voice, the kind that jo can only reach early in the morning or when she’s high. it’s one of the things jaesun is sure puzzled him at first.

the switch is probably the funniest thing. see jaesun didn’t need to warn jo about jinnie. every tuesday jinnie has calculus level three and gets out right as they start eating. jo never used to eat with them until she figured this out but no one could get her to admit it. anyway jo’s pretty much memorized the time it takes for jinnie to get from her class to the cafeteria and she would know the voice anywhere. that’s not the funny part. the funny part is, how quickly jo switches from nonchalance to looking up instantly at jinnie with undivided attention.

“hey jinnie.” jo’s voice rises at least two notes and her eyes do that sparkle thing that she teases jaesun for. the nerve. jaesun makes a move to laugh but haeri’s elbowing him, eye still glued to her game. no fun really.

“what’re ya drawing?” jinnie’s always got this sweet way of talking. whereas jo is a little slurred and pushed together for a rough slang, jinnie’s are muffled in layered sweetness. it’s kinda cute how the two mesh really. what’s even cuter is how jo scrambles to cover the sketchbook with really no finesses at all. he wants to laugh but haeri kicks him under the table this time.

“ah it’s um, ’s not done. can’t show a masterpiece before it’s done y’know?” jo’s words become even more mashed and even more slurred despite the obvious effort she tries to make them clear. it’s really so fcking funny from jaesun’s perspective. jinnie only smiles her smile and jaesun can practically see jo shrink in the seat.

she’s melting this is gold.

“well show me when it’s done okay? I gotta go but you guys are still coming to the party this weekend right?” jaesun opens his mouth but haeri beats him to it.

“jo’s going but she needs a ride because jaesun and I aren’t going anymore.” first of all jaesun was sure hell going to that party. up until two seconds ago. he doesn’t have time to whine and it’s useful because haeri still hasn’t looked up from her game.

“ah I’ll come by your place then, we can get ready together yeah?” jo lets out something like a yeah sure and jinnie’s smiling again before she waves them off. one she’s out of earshot jaesun observes the silence. there’s a few things to address. how for one haeri let him have absolutely no fun with the situation. how jo was still drooling after jinnie minutes after she’d gone and how he really wanted to go to that party.

“you’re whipped.” it takes him two seconds to dodge the pencil case thrown at his head. “shut up if haeri so much as said jaesun bark you’d do it.” “not true.” “jaesun say woof.” and he’s really an idiot because he looks at her and has the audacity to go, “woof?” his body betrays him in the most important moments. haeri’s still not looking at him but smiling over her screen. jo leans over and squishes his cheeks with the same ferocity she’d lost in those five minutes. “awwwww who’s a good boy. what a good boyfriend do you want a cookie.”  “if jinnie so much as ate a pineapple you’d be drooling so hard you’d end the drought in california.” “you’re nasty.” “you’re whipped.” “am not.” “jo I love you but you’re whipped.”

just like that jo reaches for the sketchbook she didn’t even know haeri stole covering the very obvious, very flattering sketch of jinnie. just like that she sinks back into silence muttering something about a traitorous friend and jaesun loves his girlfriend all over again. )

“jinnie says I can’t kiss you anymore.”

jo’s come over to the table with a lot of things before. some things that make jaesun spit out his food, or his milk. he’s learned to try and eat the most he can before she arrives really. he’s heard enough of her midnight escapades honestly. the things he puts up with for his girlfriend. haeri makes a hum that she could care less and jo’s sitting at the table all giddy like she just got through talking to jinnie, which she probably did.

“i’ve been telling you to stop kissing haeri since like last year.”

“please haeri wasn’t nearly as in love with you last year for that to even work.” he’s not sure but he can kinda tell haeri’s already kicked jo from the small fuck that leave’s her lips. “anyway look haeri this is serious jinnie said I can’t kiss you anymore.”

“okay.” anyone should know trying to get anything out of haeri while she’s playing a game is pointless. in between classes ( or hell during classes ) is her time and haeri doesn’t even know why they try. sometimes she’ll yield like when jo’s really upset or jaesun’s really clingy but it only lasts a few minutes. the table is left to the two bickering while she plays but it’s also how jo and jaesun learned to tolerate one another. 

“no no you don’t get it how am I supposed to get my daily dose of haeri now?” jo’s sprawled out on the table now, making grabby hands at haeri who doesn’t bat an eyelash. jaesun swats at one and jo raises a plastic knife in his direction as if to say do it again. “I only kiss your cheeks now anyway and she said none, no kisses, ahhhhhhhhhh this is unbelievable.”

“what’s unbelievable is that you’re okay with it.”

that ends the tantrum for a few seconds with jo’s attention now on him. it’s not like normal, irritated or ready to snap. it’s just a few blinks and confusion and jaesun is taken back for a second. “well, yeah? she said it and I’m not going to just say no.”

“did you ask her why?” it’s the longest thing haeri’s said since jo arrived and really it’s funny how quick jaesun’s head turns to look at her. now jo’s blinking at her and haeri doesn’t need to lift her eyes to know.  “why what?” “why she said no more kisses.”

“because you kiss haeri so much people thought you were dating.” “no jaesun you don’t kiss her enough is what the problem is.” jaesun opens his mouth and jo raises a fork this time and haeri just laughs. she’s laughing away a blush, both of them can tell but don’t say anything. there are bigger matters at hand apparently.

“so you just agreed without hearing the explanation?” is what haeri says, this time setting her handheld down finally and jo looks back up at her with that same dumbfounded expression. “well.....yeah?” how she can be this dense is unbelievable but jaesun is too busy wrapping his arms around his girlfriend to say anything this time. he just watches the scene unfold. haeri leans forward, practically cooing at the other and squishing jo’s cheeks in her hands. “awwwwwwww. you’re whipped.” jaesun takes the cue to laugh and meanwhile jo is just sitting with a look of realization and newfound acceptance.

“fuck I guess I am.” but she’s smiling and jaesun probably won’t hear anymore about how whipped he is with this new revelation.

( “so how was the party?” haeri’s the first to speak, meanwhile wrapping one hand over jaesun’s mouth while the other plays with her phone. his nose crinkles but he knows better and sees jo sit down. he’s not sure if his girlfriend’s noticed the presence of jinnie beside jo but he doesn’t comment. not because he can’t but because he’s a little shit.

“we didn’t go.” jo doesn’t sound the least bit upset though. she doesn’t really look here either, distracted kind of but she makes no attempt to hide it.

“oh?” haeri talks like jo didn’t text her asking everything, like jo didn’t call her the morning after. they talk like haeri wouldn’t know from taking one look at jo what had went on. but jaesun knows nothing so they figure it’s fun to go over it again.

“yeah when jinnie showed up we decided not to go.”

“what was wrong with the party?” haeri’s finally let go of jaesun’s mouth, if only to let her hand hit her forehead because honestly all the time he spends with her and her common sense hasn’t rubbed off yet?

“nothing.” jinnie speaks up now. it’s a new addition to the atmosphere but it fits well. easy. jinnie knows the two well, she had math with haeri the year before and has a few friends on the basketball team. she’s real nice, has this quick fire to her that only people close to her see but everyone eventually gets a taste of if they push hard enough. 

“We just lost track of time.” jo’s quick to respond and is that, “are you blushing is this real life?” haeri doesn’t even make a move to kick jaesun at this point she’s laughing. jinnie’s laughing too but she’s playing with jo’s cheeks and honestly jaesun would be damned if he wasn’t ready to break the telepathy going on between the girls but he’s honestly a little dumbstruck. “are you seriously blushing what the hell.”  “jaesun shut the fuck up.” jo would reach over to smack him as usual and he’s shrinking to haeri’s side quickly but everything stops when jinnie’s hands slide over the girl’s shoulders, hands clasped around her neck and head leaning into the other side. “we really gotta work on your self-control.” jinnie says it but she’s smiling, fondly, secretly. “you should talk.” at this point haeri is sputtering, practically dying and jaesun is still lost. “my self control is marvelous.” jaesun makes a move to say something, everything he possibly can because that’s a fucking lie but, “tell that to my costume.” jinnie says that and everything clicks. haeri is dying, jo is red, jinnie’s grinning a cheshire grin and jaesun is in disbelief.

“it was a costume party?” he manages those words out and when jinnie looks at him he wishes he hadn’t. “yep, I was going as a victoria secret angel. since you know that’s what I want to be soon.” and she says it so innocently that jaesun almost, almost doesn’t get the implications but jo’s face is darker this time and he may be a little dense but this is a language he understands well. “so you showed up.....to get ready at jo’s place.” the need to lay it out is unnecessary but he thinks he’s doing it just for the sake of seeing jo squirm. because as much as she glares daggers into him she’s still under jinnie’s hold and at this point, spell. “yep got changed there and everything.” “and you......oh.....oh damn.”

“honestly i’m surprised I thought jo would have more self-control than jo but.” now jaesun’s sputtering looking at haeri with a kicked puppy look and practically whining out his words. “what does that mean.” “it means, if you saw haeri in a victoria secret outfit she’d probably make it out the house because you’re a shy little bitch.” “speak for yourself. ‘oh hi jinnie, sure sure I’ll go jinnie, hey jinnie what’s up, you need help getting to class?’” jaesun’s halfway through the impersonation before jo is lunging at him and he has to damn near jump out his seat to avoid her claws. he’s laughing though, haeri is laughing too and now jinnie is the red one calmly pulling jo back to her seat and kissing her cheek rather quickly. “stop she’s cute.” “you’re the cute one.” it’s mumbled but jaesun gags only flinching at the glare and sticking closer to haeri when jo does glare.

“glad you two are a thing now jo can shut the hell up.” that has jo whining haeri’s name quickly but jinnie smiling and jaesun honestly thankful for her presence. “glad you’re a thing because you here means jo won’t hit me as much.” jo makes a motion to ask why but jinnie simply shrugs and haeri snorts in agreement. they all know why. it shows in how easily jo slips into jinnie’s hold, how pliant her arms go midway into lunging at jaesun and how she practically dips into the female’s words.)

jo is an independent woman who doesn’t need a man but she melts at the first look from jinnie. she is without a doubt, whipped. 

[560am-blog]

asos.

( @impudic )

“Do you have enough shirts?” “Yeah mom.” “Got enough underwear.” “Yes mom!” “Packed all your toiletries, so help me if you forgot your toothbrush!” “Done and done.” “....money, license....car keys....?” “Mom I have it all can I go now, I’m gonna be late.”

For all the assurance that Jaesun gives his mother the pout and ridiculous movements against the seat contributes in her thinking exactly the opposite. It’s very easy for her to get worried, she takes a lot of pride in knowing she’s raised Jaesun on her own but insecurities are a human thing and they run rampant in her head. Years later and she’s still coddling him for all the times that she didn’t. It’s still pretty early, the summer sun not quite hitting the concrete and sleep still hitting her eyes. Jaesun thinks his mom looks best when she’s not stressed, and he can’t imagine a better time to give her some time off. He’s not doing this for her really but it’s a side perk he can indulge in. He’s smiling because he knows she’s just going through her motherly spill but he’s excited, he’s feet tapping incessantly against the accelerator. When he’d first learned to drive she’d smacked him several times for the habit, now she learned to accept it.

“God I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.” He can’t either. She’s dragging a hand down her face, burying it back in her nightgown. The same hand that was shuffling through his suitcase asking if he had everything. The same hand he had to force from carrying things to the trunk. He smiles as sleep tries to rid itself from her face. She’s trying to hard to be awake for the moment and he’s only mildly lucky she forgot the camera. He doesn’t think it’s so serious as all that.

“You won’t be if you don’t let me go.” He’s smiling. Jaesun and his mom share that, the lazy-annoyed with one another fond smile. For a second it makes them that parent-sibling duo that are close as best friends. That joke with one another and tell each other everything. He gets his eye smile from his dad but they share this smile together. It’s got a lot in it. It’s got her worries and his nervousness, it’s got their trust, their years together, their playful personalities and the love. it’s always got the love. It’s also his cue to start back up the engine or he won’t be going anywhere. “I’ll be fine, I have my chargers and everything. I’ll call you as soon as we make a stop.” She’s on the other side of the car, by the passenger seat so she can’t reach over to kiss him like she would. Smother him and embarrass him like she would. It’s the reason he decided to leave first. “I’ll be fine.” He repeats over the engine and she nods like she’s known all along. It’s the best kind of reassurance he gets from her.

“If anything happens Kwon Jaesun-------” The car moves forward. “Bye!” “Wait wait----” it stops. “Did you pack condoms------!!!!” The car surges. “God mom bye!”

Yeah there’s definitely a reason he decided to pick her up instead of bringing her here.

He’s not nervous. He’s not. Not nervous in the slightest. Nervousness has no domain in these parts. These are the things Jaesun tells himself when he’s about to face the dragon. A few years back the dragon meant his fears of speaking to his now girlfriend. Before she became his girlfriend he would trip over his feet and stumble over his words and forget to lock every thought in his throat. Back then the dragon even meant talking to his girlfriend. He would still let his words tumble but a little easier, less clumsier, but they were still unrefined and they were still young, fresh tears from fragile hearts was a weekly occurrence. 

He’s not past that but he thinks he’s above being worried about it. This long into the relationship jaesun’s pretty comfortable with handling what haeri dishes out. Even if it’s not right in the moment he’s confident knowing he can handle it because he’ll do anything to make it work and she will too. That’s not the problem. Haeri isn’t the dragon. No, haeri is the treasure the dragon is protecting and as far as the dragon is concerned he’s a pillaging good-for-nothing thief. By way of perspective Jaesun would say the dragon was fair to see him however they wished. The dragon being of course, Haeri’s mother.

This is not to say Haeri’s mother is some big, towering, overbearing beast with scales and claws and looking like a reptile. However, Jaesun has a habit of calling Haeri things he would never admit out loud and next to a mother he doesn’t know anything else that protects something close to them so fiercely than well, a dragon. Haeri told him to work on his comparisons. He’s trying.

He’s been sitting outside for about ten minutes now. Jaesun could get out the car but her house even now has this odd forcefield that he needs permission to pass through. He can hear it now, ‘Wow Haeri your boyfriend didn’t even come out to get the bags’. He’s more worried about that than the comments they’d make about his car. It was decent. Big enough to fit the both of them but it had to be big enough to fit their bags and half the backseat has snacks. The point is it’s not exactly a luxury sports car and he’d felt stunted enough when he drove into her neighborhood with it. It works for what they have in mind and that’s all that matters.

He still hasn’t left the car, he’s spent the last few second sending her text messages.

( kkt: outgoing ) - i’m outside!

( kkt from: hae now hae now this is what dreams are made of )  - come in now before my mom kills you

( kkt: outgoing ) - anyway I’m outside

( kkt from: hae now hae now this is what dreams are made of ) - come up here before I kill you - actually come out here before I change my mind - i’m serious I can still spend vacation at our resort

truthfully speaking jaesun’s never got out the car faster. he would love to trudge, hands in his cargo shorts and a pout full on his face but he’ll be ripped apart where he stands. he doesn’t even attempt to puff out his chest or anything like that, in fact it’s a hell of a lot harder to pretend he’s calm. there are several other times that this walk has practically stolen the breath out his throat. For instance, the first time he walked her home. Or when he walked her home and they were no longer just friends. The first date which they hadn’t even intended on being  a date. Nothing will top the night he brought her back past curfew and thought his load ass engine wouldn’t wake up half the neighborhood. Then there’s prom night. This walk has troubled him for years but he manages a glide to his steps.

The door pops open as soon as he reaches and of course he’s greeted with three bags shoved in his hand and a ‘Was starting to wonder if you’d really make her carry her bags by herself’. There it is.

“Nice to see you too Haemin.” He means it too except he’s trying to get a good grip on the bags in his hand. This family lives on testing him, and not in the irritated kind of way in the we’re going to put you through so many trials that even your wedding day you’ll be nervous. He thanks his extended training before summer for the ease that helps him lift one bag over his shoulder and two in his hands. He’s getting stared down, reviewed and for what he’s not even sure. Jaesun’s stopped guessing honestly.

“So, a week and a half.” “Give or take.” “Got enough power in that car?” “It’s not as old as it looks.” “Got enough money for gas.” “I worked two jobs this year.” “Got enough money for snacks?” “Of course? Whose boyfriend am I."

On cue she pops out. There she is. Love of his life. Nala to his Simba. Fruit of his lo------ “That’s the car we’re taking?” Jaesun groans. Haemin laughs. Haeri fucking giggles. He swears he hears Haerim laughing somewhere in the back.This family thrives on this he swears.

“Ba------ Haeri please------” He was so close to calling her the nickname she hates. So close. “I needed my mom’s old one to fit everything.” He feels his ears turning red already. The car really isn’t that bad. Seoul’s not really a place of big cars unless it’s vans, but the SUV is most definitely an American thing, trucks are a close second. It doesn’t look old just out of place, hippish. It’s forest green courtesy of his mom wanting to be even more hippish than before. It’s perfect to the occasion but not for elevating boyfriend status. At this point he shouldn’t try.

“No no it’s not bad Jaesun relax. I didn’t even say anything it’s cute I like it. I love it. Relax you big baby, if you’d come here with some sports car I would’ve killed you. I’m glad my common sense is rubbing off on you.” Fruit of his loins indeed. Jaesun’s following behind her, the image of a kicked puppy starting to fade from his shoulders as he hikes up the trunk and she peeks all around the car. “Are all those snacks? Oh my god Jaesun you stopped and bought snacks for me?” It’s only in the midst of the fire in his ears dying down that he takes to observing what his girlfriend’s wearing and oh yeah it’s summer. That and she practically throws herself at him after discovering the pile of snacks in the backseat. Heat rushes from his ears right to his face and well his chest because it’s starting to get hot and he hasn’t been out that long for the sun to peek out but there it is wrapped around him in a fit of giggles and thank you’s. 

“Yeah, we don’t have much time to stop so I figured it’s early you’d need something to eat. I don’t want to be driving in the heat too long either.” He tries to speak as calmly as possible what with her choking the life out of him but also the frills of the dress sucking the blood from his face. In normal circumstances Jaesun wouldn’t be concerned about where to put his hands and for a moment he forgets, his hands slipping naturally to the small of her back and significantly lower, fingers losing the fight of temptation to play with the skirt hem. 

“Wanna know the best part of the jeep?” He’s a little intoxicated for the moment. His words come out low, soft like morning dew. He doesn’t need to hear a response to know he has one. “All the bags can fit in the backseat. And we can push the seats forward and make a mini tent in trunk.” It takes willpower to stop her from bouncing in his hold. Years of dealing with this boundless energy and years of becoming more and more fond of it. There’s the praise she’s giving as she bounces too and he really doesn’t want it to end but the moment isn’t completely theirs and Jaesun probably forgets.

“Mom Jaesun’s fondling your daughter!” This fucking family. Haeri doesn’t even move, she’s doing it on purpose he’s sure. He hears the laughter that she stifles in his neck as his head falls in defeat over her shoulder. He hears a chorus of laughter when his hands reluctantly jump back to her back. Jaesun almost doesn’t dare look up, almost but he hears a very distinct, ‘Kwon Jaesun’ and he has to.

“Hi Mrs. Lee.” There’s a certain, permanence in how he keeps hugging her while glancing over at her mother. Haeri’s mother he discovers is ten times scarier to catch him hugging her than her father. Being caught giggling, tossing and turning in her room by her dad or her brothers was always embarrassing but by her mother? Jaesun could count how many times he’s died.

She’s standing in the doorframe with looks that have already killed him a million times before their eyes meet. “Hello jaesun. I hope I haven’t made the wrong decision in letting Haeri wear her new summer clothes on this trip. I don’t want them getting dirty what with your, rambunctious behavior.” Jaesun is sure he’s died again. He swallows and Haeri’s laughing so hard she has to pull away.

“Mom rambunctious?!” ( as if that’s the only thing she finds wrong with the phrase ) haeri echoes her own brother, but not before Jaesun gives Haerim when they approach, taking the last two bags from the doorstep. He doesn’t meet Haeri’s mother’s gaze, not yet. The two are engaged in a conversation. no doubt the same spiel Jaesun’s mother gave him before he left. Haeri gives her mom the quick nods and the small roll of her eyes that’s so characteristic of the two. She’s bouncing with energy and her mother responds with the patience impatience that astounds Jaesun to this day.

“Mom I got it. I’ll be safe. We’ll be safe, we gotta go before the sun gets too high. We’ve got places to go people to see things to do!” Literally. Haeri gets a few hugs from her brothers, a kiss from her dad and another speech from her mother that leaves her turning red and bounding for the car door. Jaesun only stares, shutting the trunk and seeing a look of disapproval on her mother’s face.

“Haeri did you hear me?” She doesn’t need to raise her voice to be heard but she doesn’t need to be loud to be heard. Jaesun swears she’s a dragon. He’s leaning against the car door, girlfriend cooped up in the passenger seat and doing all she can to block out the words. “Lee Haeri.”

“Haeri, mom said don’t forget protection!” For the fourth time today Jaesun dies in Haeri’s driveway.

“Kwon jaesun take care of my daughter.” She doesn’t need to add to the speech everything that she used to. Jaesun’s memorized it and built a strong defense to her words. He just slips into the passenger seat, smiling and waving after he responds with a, “Always, Mrs. Lee.”

“Go go go go go before they think of something else.” he would’ve stepped on the gas faster but what with his promise they both have to ease a little too slowly out the driveway. Haeri does give her mom final waves, it’s all apart of who they are and he’s already smiling in her direction. He’s caught in the act and he doesn’t even care. “What?” he shrugs against the seat.

“I’m excited.”

Haeri smiles. Not for the first time since he’s arrived but for the first time in this way since they’ve seen each other. In their own way. The private, you’re a dork and I’m your dork kind of smile. Their smile. Their love. 

“Now let’s see what kind of snacks you got me.” “Oh my god Jaesun we’re not listening to that.” “Eyes on the road I know I look cute don’t kill us.” “Who even let you get a license what are you doing.”

Haeri doesn’t really need to say it because he knows.