#imthinkingwaytoomuch

[heyobuddyoh-blog]

K so can I just take a second to recognize the fact that Cars is a movie

Literally. This is real. These cars are fucking t a l k i n g. They are actually b l i n k i n g. They have l o v e lives. Who the hell came up with this? Was this guy just at some fancy cooperate Pixar meeting, and just came up with:

"omg guys I have an amazing idea."

Or:

"omg guys, I know how to out-do the bee movie"

[mspeeech]

So I don’t usually do personal posts. But this is just weird. Me and my most recent ex are now on “speaking terms” again, which the non speaking terms were initiated by him in the first place and he was acting like an ass for a while so I decided I didn’t want that in my life so I left him alone, like he asked. Now…he texted me and asked if we could be on speaking terms again. And after a whole spiel, I said sure why not. But I’m not entirely sure why I suppose. He said he forgave me (for what? Being honest about my feelings and breaking up with you when our relationship was starting to go in the shit hole anyway?) and asked if I forgave him.

Here’s the deal with this post I’m writing now. I have been feeling like shit about this whole break up. I felt really terrible, like a shit person, and guilty for breaking his heart. I was having dreams and nightmares about him forgiving me and/or not forgiving me. I was really upset about how he reacted and about how we parted. And when we were talking about why we needed to be on speaking terms, he told me I was wrong in what i did to him. Wrong for what!? That’s when I realized I didn’t need his forgiveness. What I did was right for myself. I wasn’t feeling ok with what was happening in the relationship, i’d been trying and trying to fix this relationship, and it never seemed to work. I was always upset about something or angry and that just wasn’t good for either of us. It was time. And how is that the wrong thing? I listened to what I was feeling and I did what was best for myself. And if he thought my feelings were wrong then he probably didn’t care about me as much as he said he did. So I’ve finally come to a point that I feel good about myself and my choices. Though I suppose it was nice hearing that he forgave me regardless of whether I did something wrong or not.