The first time Shane and Ilya have like a normal domestic day together, post coming out to Shane’s parents, I think there’s probably a moment when both of them are like— holy shit that’s my guy. And some wires are getting crossed because they’ve lived extremely homosocial lives where they spent a large amount of time playing a single gender sport where they put their identities to the side for the team always about the team and the guys and yeah we’re really clicking out there on the ice. So they know about chemistry. They know about communication. But the thing that makes them different from other hockey players is that they’re not just in the rabble, not just one of the guys. They’re at the top, kind of doomed to be alone by virtue of just how good they are. Maybe they never thought they would have the camaraderie that other players get, that sort of pseudo military bond of being in the trenches together that athletes feel.
But when Shane sees Ilya shuffling sleepy around the kitchen in the morning, mumbling something like “gonna make you the best eggs Hollander where the fuck is your whisk” or later when they’re getting ready to have dinner with Shane’s parents and Shane helps Ilya pick out a parent-friendly button-down from his own closet, doing up the buttons for him instead of undressing him for once and taking a look at the result (“no, let’s try the this one, the color is better, maybe”) I think they’re both like holy shit this is my guy. This is the team I’ve always wanted, above the one where we play hockey on TV. And it crosses some wires in their brains because oh this is what it’s supposed to feel like to have someone have your back. Not that they both aren’t beloved by their teams but we honestly don’t see it besides the transactional nature of their skills (maybe Hayden is an exception with Shane, but really Ilya’s closest person in the show is Svetlana, he has no one close in the books) weighed with how they get the team accolades.
This is why I don’t think the commitment part was ever going to be hard for them. They are both craving a person, someone that is just there for them. They were conditioned for this type of bond, promised brotherhood when they started hockey, but never reaped the benefits because of their talent. Sure, Shane could have found a nice man in Montreal, but this is so much deeper than just finding someone you want to date and falling in love that way.
It’s also why I think despite marriage not being required for commitment, they want it. They want a formal distinction saying no, this one’s mine. This is my team. And we’re going to win. At what, who knows, but they want that win.
Loverrr ik it aint father's day no more but lowkey whats tim reaction to a "Happy father's day to daddy" text😭😭 saw dis on tt and thought of a whole ass scenario in my head abt it
the thing with yandere!bully is that regardless of your gender there really is no difference in the level of difficulty when dealing with him. it's only distinguishing in the basis of their (he and his peers) bullying.
f!reader's experience is, to no surprise, rooted in misogyny. the world is already a cruel place for man, what more for woman? the second-class citizen, the lesser being. you'd think in this generation that whole misogyny bullshit has been wiped out, but being in this prestigious academy, you'd learn that the elite prides itself on tradition. it's not that they're openly misogynistic, but that they're highly conservative. and this environment puts a lot of pressure on women with it.
the misogyny is not obvious. of course it isn't, when even yan!bully's female friends get to pick on you. it's not evident, just inherent. they go for your looks. your face, your weight. skin and bone structure. the simplicity of your appearance that they mistake for lack of hygiene just because you can't buy their standard of cleanliness. sure, they also make fun of m!reader's appearance, but that teasing is nothing compared to what f!reader goes through.
rumors of your nonexistent promiscuity circle around the school. one of yan!bully's male friends spread those nasty talks about you. apparently you've been offering indecent proposals to faculty in exchange for good grades. one student saw you entering this teacher's office so late after dismissal, and there's another account of giving certain teachers bedroom eyes. you take more than one staff.
none of them are true, of course. it's not like you had the luxury of being a bad student. you only ever want to hold your place in this school, so you're particularly obedient is all. you never made a move on any of your teachers and they obviously never made a move on you. but you're no good kid, you're no overused sexualized good girl archetype. trust me, if you were as rich and pretty you'd be acting as reckless as your classmates too.
and then in college, there's the whole risk of pregnancy once you and yan!bully inevitably become frequently intimate. this time the challenge is your own body; you can get pregnant. the risk is higher now with yan!bully's insatiable appetite. he can never get enough of you. you now live in his residence (as you are compelled to) and every morning it's a game of who wakes up first because if it's him, then there's no getting out of bed anytime soon. he's good with his hands and mouth and below but you prefer spending the morning more productively. he doesn't even bother with protection, too sleepy and needy to even care.
you take the pills. he doesn't force you to. honestly, if he were asked, he's fine whether or not you get pregnant. eventually though, he gets a vasectomy. but the thought of getting to finish inside you over and over again has just increased his libido tenfold.
for m!reader, it's homophobia.
the male route specifically i imagine yan!bully propagated a rumor that you were gay, at first as a joke, but gradually he wanted to manifest through word of mouth that you were really gay.
unfortunately that whole stunt only made you retreat to your shell. if you were genuinely gay, it was all the more reason for you not to come out of the closet.
m!reader is more prone the physical bullying than f!reader ever is. what's worse is that the beating is done by yan!bully's male friends. they're all so big, so masculine, they all have got some niche, wealthy-only extracurricular that helped them build muscle, and you're too poor to even afford a gym membership. the football varsity team—yan!bully is a part of it, and his fellow teammates are particularly nasty. you get beaten to a pulp every time they lose a game.
they call you slurs when faculty isn't around. the boys sexually harass you, groping your butt or feeling you up because you're a boy, and sexual harassment isn't taken as seriously when you are one. they grab your hips and pretend to thrust into you in front of friends. it's just how teenage guys are, right? acting all raunchy and faking the act of sex in front of their peers for a laugh. it's all just a joke, because none of them are actually gay, only you are. besides, if you're a fag then you must like all that attention, huh?
that sort of bullying eventually dies down, though. soon, yan!bully feels bitter and it puts him in a bad mood whenever he watches them do that.
as a male reader, you're kind of yan!bully's sexual awakening. he's only ever dated girls before you. it's not that he's gay, more like... reader-sexual. at first he's in denial, liking a boy is very new to him, and he gets violent with something he's not used to. he takes that frustration out on you. towards m!reader specifically, he's physical.
it all changes once he realizes his feelings for you though. it's especially tragic if you happen to be a boy showing no inclination to liking boys at all. you're not gay, or you just haven't bothered thinking about it because there are other things to prioritize in life. or maybe you grew up in a conservative household, actively christian or muslim or any religion that frowns upon the queer. he exploits the shit out of your aversion.
in second year, whenever he touches you, you shrink into yourself like it's wrong. i mean it is, but he finds it particularly thrilling because he larps (yes) that you two are forbidden lovers who truly love each other. he wants to believe you're avoiding him not because you're genuinely repulsed, but because it's against your principles. this man gets delusional.
tldr: psychological torment for f!reader, physical for m!reader.
Eddie Diaz is such an important character like yes give me a queer person that once realized they're gay just started to quietly enjoy life and reached the level of zen never known before
and it has nothing to do with who he loves really, it's about starting to love yourself once you know who you are
