#incorrect jake lockley

[incorrectanything]

Jake: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules. Jake: Is there a point system or is it to the death?

[youretellingmethisdidnthappen]

Y/N: Can you keep a secret?

Jake: Do you know anything about my life?

Y/N: No I do not. Good point.

[adhd-peterparker]

Peter: Did you have to stab them?

Jake: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Peter: What did they say?

Jake: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Peter: That’s fair.

[incorrectanything]

Jake, being done with everything: It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty.

Jake: All that matters is if the glass contains vodka.

[adhd-peterparker]

Jake: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Peter: Isn't that just killing people?

Jake: Ah, technicality.

[youretellingmethisdidnthappen]

Y/N: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Jake: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

[adhd-peterparker]

Jake: ¿Cómo se dice ‘un zapato’ en inglés?

Peter: A shoe

Jake: Salud