#incorrect trekquotes

[trek-tracks]

Bones: Be careful.

Jim: You know me.

Bones: Yeah, that’s why I’m saying BE CAREFUL.

[trek-tracks]

Jim: Bones, come on. There’s a thin line between prescience and paranoia.

Bones: Jim, there’s a thinner line between bravery and stupidity. Genius and insanity.

Jim: Bones-

Bones: Being alive and kicking the damn bucket.

[trek-tracks]

Shore Leave

Bones: I’m a drunktor, not a dock...

Bones: A drocter-

Bones: A dunct-

...

Bones: I’m drunk.

Jim: We know, Bones.

[trek-tracks]

Jim, looking at a sent report on his PADD: Ah, crap.

Bones, from the other side of the Bridge: Hmm?

Jim: I made a typo.

Bones: You need a hypo??

*sounds of doctorly running*

Jim: a TYPO a TYPO no bones please don’t aaaagh

[trek-tracks]

Jim, weakly protesting yet another entertaining but inopportune Spock and Bones argument: Come on, gentlemen, we don’t have time for this!

Voiceover narrator: They did, in fact, have time for this.

[trek-tracks]

*Kirk, Bones, and Spock are locked up in a cell*

Bones: Well, you’ve really landed us in it now, Jim.

Spock: Captain, I agree. That fight was ill-advised.

Jim: Now, Spock, I wouldn’t so much call it a fight. It was more just a-

Bones: Don’t you dare-

Jim: Kirk-fuffle.

Bones: Jim we are literally CHAINED TO A WALL right now

[trek-tracks]

Bones: ...and that’s the full list of 928 things you should be afraid of in space.

Bones: Thanks for coming to my Dread Talk.

[trek-tracks]

Buffy the Vampire Trekker, v.4

(Bones would absolutely call Spock a funky party weasel, fight me)