#incorrect voltage quotes

[incorrect-voltage-quotes]

Baba: What if I gave you $5,000 to kill Eisuke?

Soryu: Murder is a capital crime, Baba.

Soryu: I’d do it for 10.

[aqvarius]

Ishigami: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same

Soma: Kill two

[acuriousnerd]

House keeper Eisuke::

MC: *on the phone while at work* NO! EISUKE, JUST BECAUSE YOU SPLIT A DROP OF COFFEE ON THE CARPET DOESNT MEAN THE HOUSE IS TRASHED AND WE HAVE TO MOVE! Just use the stain remover and clean it up.

Eisuke: .......you mean by myself?

<Thirty minutes later>

Eisuke: So the bottle labeled Clorox isnt a stain remover is it?

MC: No it's the red bott--...wait.... oh god.

Eisuke: In my defense, Soryu said it was good for stains.

MC: BLOOD STAINS MAYBE! I'm on my way home.

Eisuke: Good, I'll text you the new address.

MC: JFC!!!!!!!

[theroadtohappyeverafter]

Ota: So, what's for lunch?

Baba: Oh, I already ate.

Ota: Without me???

Baba: Sorry I was really hungry! I'll bring you something, what do you want?

Ota: Loyalty

[ryolightswan]

Liar! Gang Texting #1

Toya: Want some strawberry shortcake?

Toya 45 min later: I got stabbed

MC: WHAT?!

Toya: That's what happens when you take 45 min 2 reply.

Toya:

Toya: People die.

[incorrect-voltage-quotes]

Roberto: Alberto’s away, so I’m going to cut off all the sleeves of my shirts

Mc: why?

Roberto: He’s like 85% of my impulse control.

[incorrect-voltage-quotes]

Yuta trying to get MC back

Yuta: And then I just, you know, threw a bag of barley at her and ran out of the store.

Kunihiko: Oh my God, Yuta, we said be aloof, not a doof!

[incorrect-voltage-quotes]

If Saeki was an actor instead of a screenwriter

Mc: Oh, the off-Broadway play people said you were “pretty but dumb.”

Saeki: Oh

Mc: Oh wait, I’m sorry, that’s “pretty dumb”