[Mini Rant]
I do absolutely adore Jiang Xiaobai and Guan Zhong. They are, in my opinion, the most deranged of every monarch-chancellor pair, and every story of them is only funnier than the last. Because rather than a monarch and chancellor, it's much more just a very tired middle aged man and his unsocialized self-entitled bitchy cat-child.
*first meeting*
Guan Zhong: So you know I worked for your brother, your rival?
Xiaobai: Yeah
Guan Zhong: And that I shot you, like, yesterday, and only narrowly missed by accident?
Xiaobai: Yeah
Guan Zhong: ...So when do I die?
Xiaobai:
Xiaobai: ...Daddy <3
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Guan Zhong: Xiaobai please stop wearing purple you're literally bankrupting the country. Do you know how expensive purple is.
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Xiaobai: Daddy why did I go outside and meet a poor man whose sons have no wives :(
Guan Zhong: Because you have too many women in your palace. Please release them.
Also Guan Zhong: *Creates over 700 state run brothels*
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Guan Zhong, on his deathbed, saying his last words: Xiaobai I literally don't care what the fuck you do but PLEASE stay away from the cannibal. He doesn't love you.
Xiaobai, as the unsocialized self-entitled cunty cat-child he is: Hm. Nah.