Oct 10, 2024
Pony Reductress Headlines
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Pony Reductress Headlines
Friends have different ways to support each other (they´re trying to say she has a big forehead for her big brain, I´m sure)
Couch-Related-Conundrums.
Dash, overly giddy: Hey, Applejack, wanna hear a joke?
Applejack, also giddy: Why, I'd love to hear a joke, Rainbow Dash!
Dash: How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?
Applejack: I don't know, Rainbow Dash, how can you tell?
Dash, suddenly enraged: SHE'S STILL FUCKING HERE!
Tree Hugger, chillin' on the couch: That's, like, a riot.
Dash: Get the fuck out of our house already!
Applejack: We're not even your friends! Go bother Fluttershy!
Tree Hugger: I would, but, like, I just got comfy.
Applejack: You've been here for three weeks!
Tree Hugger: Have I?... Radical.
Dash: I'm going to fucking kill her.
Applejack: Ok, I hid those big bags of candy I bought for Nightmare Night. Granny Smith: How come? Applejack: Every year they get broken into and eaten before the big night. This year they'll be safe. Granny Smith: Couldn't you just tell Applebloom and her friends to not get into 'em? Applejack: It's not the kids I'm hiding them from, Granny.
Pony Onion Headlines: Part 7
Fifteen Years Ago
Spike: We've got a big problem with Twilight! She's... there's a...
Shining Armor: Spike, Spike, listen. Relax, relax. We talked about overreacting to things. Spike: It's a code red. Shining Armor: Aah! Code red! ______________
Shining Armor: We've created a color-coded alert system to track Twily's moods during exam season. Green... she's calm. But we've never been at green. Yellow... she's in tears. Orange... I'm in tears. But with a code red, if she locks eyes with you, it's already too late. Twilight: Who replaced my thick markers with fine-tipped markers?! I'm making flash cards, not writing Daring Do on a grain of rice!
Pony Onion Headlines: Part 2
Rarity: Pinkie, when I turned 18, I knelt in front of Princess Celestia's dress mausoleum, and I swore to uphold the Hostess Code: "I, Rarity, shall do my level best to make every event too much."