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When you wanna totally crush on @brunomars but females kill the vibe with, “omg he looks just like your dad!” Thanks but um..f*** you. On another planet, universe, I’d be all about it bout it 😒😒 #bitchdontkillmyvibe #toolate #brunomars #imnotlookin #ineedtoconfess #dontturnthisintodumbshit #fuckyou #thispictho #heybrunohey #thatoldschoolswagtho https://www.instagram.com/p/ByB4PSiAQnz/?igshid=1kr81zr9drgf3
During a TVC production scheduling meeting:
Me: so pak, after the shoot, we are going to have an offline session from this date to this date at (post production house), and an online session from this date to this date at the same place. Please be aware of the time for you to attend to review both sessions.
Client: ah actually, during the online session I have meetings at the office, so can you move the online session to my office?
Me (inside my head): Yes, of course, let me move the multi-million dollar online video processing machine to YOUR office.
Me (what I said): Sorry sir, for the online session, you will be the one who has to go to the location since the online TVC session consists of ... (me explaining standard online TVC processes)
PS: the client is a brand manager of a well-known snack brand from a huge FMCG company.
Just do it
Client: The expressions are not smart enough.
*Breathes in, breathes out*
Me: How do you mean by a smarter expression? Could you be more specific or give me a reference so that our creative team will have an idea?
Client: I just don't think it is smart enough. I don't have a reference. I don't know how you're going to do it but just make it look smarter and try different ones.
I don’t think we should run this idea because I asked my friends and they don’t think its cool enough.
Clients with friends.
Digital Banners
The message for the second frame was that the Client’s product made you feel like you were in outer space. This particular frame already had 5 revisions. This was the one that made the cake:
Client: On the second frame where you’ve put an Alien, can you make it look more edgy?
What I wanted to write back: Sure thing! Lets put a bikini on him and some disco balls around to make him look edgy!
What I actually said: We have a lot of elements on this frame already and we dont want to take away from the bottle being the hero.
The Impatient Know-All Client
These are the worst types of clients. Always wanting to get the result NOW... NOW... NOW... without even understanding the different processes you HAVE to go through in order to make the end result a success. Consumer psychology takes years of practice. Jumping the gun is like premature ejaculation, it's biased and one sided. There is a reason why my job title says 'market researcher' and yours says 'product manager'. I believe there's also a VERY VERY VERY good reason why your company hired us at a very handsome fee to consult your brand/product. Brand Consultant... OUT!
Kindly mind my time
As much as I love billing you for my hours of time, my intention to buy you coffee and discuss our next project was not an attempt to unveil all of the problems you have with your central marketing / procurement / c-suite team. Let me go back to my desk and continue rummaging through the stacks of briefs you've left me to do over the weekend.
Love,
I hate you but need you.
SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE
