#inej ask.

[lannamused]

❛ the choice to live an ordinary life is no longer an option for me. ❜ //kaz

"I know."

Inej let the words hang in there for a moment as she silently fought with something within herself. Reality versus hope. Truth versus a desperate cling to innocence.

"...I don't think it's an option for me, either," she confessed finally. Her voice shook towards the end. Speaking words out loud always did more, always made the meaning more real. She took a deep breath, then slowly let it out.

"I've dreamt of returning to my family every day since I was taken from them. Wanted to return to something simple and safe. Something familiar." She swallowed. "But I could never be the Inej I once was. Not when the Wraith would resurface at the slightest hint of trouble. Not when Ketterdam's soaked into my bones."

It made her ill to think like that, though. If her source of motivation no longer felt feasible, then what did any of it matter? Her sacrifices, the blood she had spilled -- who was she anymore?

[lannamused]

❝   i should have told you everything, and for that, i’m sorry.   ❞ //kaz to inej

This Meme || Accepting!

When they had first met, Inej would have loved to hear the words 'I'm sorry' come out of Kaz Brekker. It would have been something akin to triumph and feeling special.

Now it just made her a little uneasy. For a brief moment, she wondered if this was someone sculpted by a Tailor to look like him -- but that wasn't the case. Kaz was simply being vulnerable with her; likely his one moment of it allowed this year.

She would not make the mistake of throwing it in his face. She wanted to encourage him.

"You're right. You should have," she said after a moment. "But you have always played your cards close to your chest, Kaz. And we've survived plenty of dangerous situations because of that."

She left out a slow, long exhale, and finally managed the slightest hint of a smile.

"Still, I appreciate and accept the apology. So I'll expect to hear more of your plans in advance in the future."

She didn't really.

[lannamused]

❛ everyone in that room has lived far worse than anything you’ve ever done. //kaz

Crime-Themed Sentence Starters | Accepting!

“Have you ever heard the phrase ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’, Kaz?” It wasn’t even a Suli saying. It was quite common. Still, Inej knew this was his attempt at reassuring her. As reassuring as Dirtyhands could be, at least.

Shaking her head, she finished cleaning Sankta Alina and slid it back into the quick-release sheath on her left forearm.

“I appreciate the reminder, though,” she concluded. Then she headed out the window.

[lannamused]

“you’re all i have.” //to inej from kaz

"...How much did you have to drink, Kaz?" Maybe Jesper had finally managed to spike his glass. With his cane tucked under her other arm, she continued to help him up the stairs towards his office at the very top of the Slat.

It was easier to make jokes than to allow herself to linger on -- oh, no. She was acting just like Jesper. Mindful of his limp, she added quietly, "Don't discount the other Crows. They care about you, too."

But she knew what he meant, whether he was sober or not. In a sense, he was all she had, too.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said finally. "Don't worry."

Kaz Brekker could swear up and down that all he needed was Kruge, that he could find another spider if necessary... but he never said he could find another Inej. Another Wraith. And he wouldn't have to.

[lannamused]

❝ I think you need more sleep. ❞ //kaz

This Meme || Accepting

Inej paused, looking up from her drink. Then she laughed, mostly humorless, shaking her head. “How about I get a few more hours of sleep when you do, Kaz?”

[lannamused]

While Kaz was outlining the plan, Kuwei had settled near Jesper and was quietly delighted that Wylan had sat far away. He had no problem with Wylan. He liked Wylan. But he was also jealous of the way Jesper interacted with him. That wouldn't be a problem now, though. Wylan couldn't even look at Jesper. He scooted closer to Jesper.

Oh, no. No. This was not happening. Jesper was in deep enough trouble (with Kaz, with his father, with Wylan... who else?) and he was not going to let Kuwei drag him even deeper.

Sorry, Inej. He scooted backward to make a gap where he sat, then grabbed the Suli girl by the hips and pulled her into the empty space. Inej visibly flinched but he cast her an apologetic look as he took her spot.

Kaz had noticed, of course. His explanation had paused only briefly -- not unlike the irritated pause a professor at the university would make, showing that they had noted the transgression but weren't bothered enough to stop the lecture -- but he was visibly irritated. Meanwhile, Inej continued to look at him like he was crazy.

Well, so much for not pissing off anyone else. He tried to see if Wylan had seen him. It didn't seem so.

Saints, he didn't know what to do.

[lannamused]

“i kind of feel closer to you than i do anyone in the world.” //kaz

"That might not be my doing, though, Kaz. You're very particular about the company you keep."

She was smiling, though, and slowly she moved to interlace her fingers with his. His gloves were on, but she didn't mind. They were both taking little steps towards healing, and for now she could be distracted by the night sky -- at least, what she could see of it between the clouds of fog from where they lay quietly upon a rooftop.

It was the first truly peaceful night in Ketterdam she had ever experienced, in all her years here. She was willing to bet the same for him.

[lannamused]

"What was it like to be an acrobat?" Wylan had plopped himself down next to Inej. "Oh, and I brought tea." He handed a mug over to her and got comfortable. Tea went perfect with stories!

Inej looked up, surprised at Wylan's curiosity. But she was charmed by the tea and smiled, accepting it.

"It's hard to explain," she said after a moment, looking in the mug, waiting for the tea to cool. "I barely even noticed the crowds. It was just me up there, on the swing, or sailing through the air like I could fly. Like I turned into a bird for a little while."

It sounded silly, she knew, but Wylan wouldn't scoff.

"It was home," she concluded. "And with my parents beside me, I rarely felt afraid of falling."