#inevitablecoincidence

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Soul Clouds

Even if I can't bring myself to believe in souls, I can't find a better word to describe this sensation other than the phrase "my soul is troubled". For "my mind is troubled" is a phrase that does not capture how invasive these thoughts are, focusing only on the concentrated area of the mind. "My entire being is troubled" is not entirely correct either since the word "being" is too solid for these vague, floating worries that are proficient in hauntings.

I feel as if there is a poisonous cloud spreading throughout my thoughts. Or perhaps a gathering of all the malignant and distasteful sides of me murmuring me awake. I wonder, what form do your troubles take on? Those  lurking wisps that keep you awake at two-in-the-morning?

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Little To Be Had

There is little to be had in this world, little to be had.

While some may sit on their mountain tops, never wondering the lower rocks,

While some will weary down, becoming unseen pebbles,

And through it all, be it mountain or pebble, all will see there is little to be had, yes, little to be had.

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The Outpost

It is always nice, to have a reminder, of intents that you wish to keep.

So I am setting up an outpost. A fortress built on words, the battlements lined with letters, the walls bridged with sentences.

And I will watch my outpost of intents grow. Maybe some of the chests in the basement will fill themselves with trivia. Maybe the picture frames will crust over some shameful displays. Or maybe the draperies will hide discarded treasures.

What will you turn into, this outpost of mine?

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Bottle in the Sea

If I sent an empty bottle to the sea, would the sea reply?

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I Dare Not Speak Its Name

So what do you do, when you've loved the same person for 5 years and several undetermined months? Well, clearly nothing as I have yet to speak of this love to said person.

How do you break the news to someone who's been a constant friend for approximately half of your life, albeit a life still undeveloped. How could you destroy an image of you held by someone important? How can you add to the worries of someone who has enough troubles of their own?

No, I don't have the spine needed to do something like that. I know that I am probably a bad friend for imagining an alternate future.

But I wish that I could be more than a friend.

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Mary and Kay

Watching how people interact is truly amazing. In a place where memory crinkles into nothingness, human goodness still trickles through.

"When am I going to die? When am I going to die?" A frantic chant wheezed out by the wheelchair-bound woman. Her words barely passed through her bunched up lips.

"You're not going to die." A reedy answer followed by a pause. "You're too nice to die..."

"If I die, I die. If I die, I die. Don't you see we're all dying here?"

"I asked them, and they said she's going to be fine. That there are no problems..."

Both women gazed at each other, letting their past slip away with their future.

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Uncertain Premises

     I wonder if it's okay to be uncertain about the state of one's happiness or unhappiness. And I wonder what boundaries can be crossed. I wonder about the distorted moonlight on cold floorboards, the clanging thunk surviving candy drops make in a tin can, the glass of water standing sentry at a bedside table.

     I wonder if tomorrow...

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A Tentative Greeting

     Well...hello, hello, and have a jello.