deadlock ritualists ranked by how pleasant they would be on the subway
as decided by me (chud noob) and my best friend (gigachad master deadlock player training me)
details why under
NOTABLE NYC SUBWAY ENCOUNTER:
everyone who i feel would be a weird/interesting/not negative experience on the subway. ivy is basically a small town celebrity, whenever she feels like taking the subway she prob gets recognized and spoken to in a friendly manner. celeste would prob perform on the subway for fun, and she's good too so she'd get lots of tips. if paige isn't evangelizing in the station she's prob doing her cool magic in the car. rem is a cute precocious kid, vic infernus and shiv are all in the same category of "guy with aura who you stare at for too long cause u can't believe he's real". viscous is viscous.
TALKS TO YOU (POSITIVE)
i feel like mirage and dynamo would both be super chatty and friendly, dynamo is just all-around asking you abt ur life, telling u abt his, etc, while mirage starts the convo by asking for directions and then keeps it going by asking for restaurant and entertainment recs. not much to say other than they're nice!
JUST A NORMAL JOE GOING TO WORK
first four i probably wouldn't even blink at seeing at the subway. pocket looks normal. graves is just a goth kid. holliday is a tourist. grey talon is extremely cool looking but otherwise quiet and contemplative. haze i'm assuming that in her civvie life she takes the subway like every other person.
TALKS TO YOU (YOU MOVE AWAY)
you're sitting down on the corner seat in the subway. some people are standing but there's still seats available. train stops, the biggest fucking guy you've seen all week steps in and sits RIGHT next to you. ULTRA MEGA MANSPREAD. pushes you to the corner. "you know," he starts, speaking to no one in particular, "i'm actually a pretty big deal around here. you've probably heard of me. they call me... The Lash." this dude, he KEEPS FUCKING TALKING. HE DOES NOT SHUT UP. you get up. you move to leave. "tch. i get it. you're not ready for The Lash." you switch to the other train car.
it's 2am. you just got off the night shift. shadows jump out at you and nothing feels safe. you got one white knuckled grip on your bag and the other in your pocket. you get to the subway, get inside the train, and for a second, you almost relax. in that moment of relaxation, you blink. and in that split second, a figure sits in front of you. you didn't even see anything move. it's just there. the smell of sulfur fills the train car. "you'd be better off without that knife in your pocket," the voice drones at you from behind its mask, like a cage on its face. "in these streets, a gun would be of better use." another blink, and he's gone. you fucking book it home.
SLEEPING IN THE TRAIN CAR (BUMMINGLY)
NEWS FLASH: BROKE BITCHES GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND DIDN'T MAKE IT HOME!!!!!!!!!!! BEER BOTTLES SURROUND THEIR LIFELESS SMELLY BODIES!!!!!!!!!!!
otherwise vyper would be in talks to you (you move away) and silver would be in average joe.
SEES TRAIN CAR PULL INTO THE STATION. GOES INTO THE OTHER CAR.
you need to understand that venator looks racist to me. who would willingly share a subway car with this man. alternatively, seven would also be here if i wasn't so sure he'd be good at hiding himself.
EAR GROWS 3 SIZES TO LISTEN TO THEIR ARGUMENT
yes bro. delicious. alternatively, mina & pocket (would never happen) and graves & apollo (actually possible but just petty teenage drama)
TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE
organized by how purposefully they're taking up space, with abrams being "he can't help it" to billy being "manspreading that much cannot be comfortable." kelvin gets a weighted ranking not because he is taking that much space on purpose, but because he would be so uncomfortable to sit next. cold as fuck BIG as fuck AND he probably stinks. HELL naw. mcginnis is shebagging the entire chair she's sitting on with all her bots. asshole. if i was sitting next to billy i would kill him.
WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD ON THE SUBWAY.
with a few exceptions! apollo would go to prove he isn't stuck-up (probably to graves), wraith would go on occasion to shmooze with people or make bets, and yamato would walk in, announce that this is her train car now in japanese, much to the confusion of onlookers, and then proceeds to take over the L train for one day. first three would literally choke on glass before stepping foot into public transportation.
FUCK YOU USING THE SUBWAY FOR
fuck are you using the subway for. YOU have magic doors, YOU can fly, YOU LITERALLY HAVE TUNNELS TO GET ANYWHERE IN THE CITY, and YOU are LITERALLY PART OF A WORLD CLASS THIEVES' GUILD.
COP (EVIL)
he's gonna get at least 3 people for hopping the turnstile and get at least one for no reason. everyone switches cars when they see him get in. you think venator looks racist? i KNOW this guy's racist.
