The Comedy of Horrors - Dukeceit Week Day 6
Rated T - CW: Remus-typical descriptions of imaginary violence and gore, kissing, non-graphic nudity - Dukeceit Week Day 6 - [ AO3 ] - Word Count: 3188 History | Matchr series ---
The stadium walls shook as the music blasted and the crowd roared, singing along with the band. Janus felt the crush of the audience around him as they all rushed to their feet, hands in the air, dancing and shouting and overflowing with joyous energy.
The lights above the stage were shining right in Janus’ eyes but he didn’t care. The music was perfect, the company was perfect, and Freddie Mercury was wailing into the microphone.
I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball
Remus was right beside him, arm draped over his shoulders, swaying and singing along at the top of his lungs, “Don't stop me now!”
If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call
Don't stop me now 'Cause I'm having a good time
The stage lights grew brighter and brighter and then suddenly Janus was lying on his back on the ground, squinting, the light haloing his vision. Janus gradually realized that the ground was soft and Remus had somehow fallen near him while he’d danced. He was quiet now… was he hurt?
Janus blinked against the glare and the world around him slowly came into focus.
They weren’t on the ground, but on their bed. The blinding light was the morning sun beaming through the windows of their third-story apartment, the blinds pulled up and curtains drawn. The sunlight felt warm but was much too bright. Janus groaned, trying to turn away from the window, but found he couldn’t move.
Janus looked down and realized that some of the warmth he’d thought was from the sun was really Remus’ body heat from where he sprawled sideways over his chest. The Queen concert was Remus’ alarm. Janus chuckled, carefully working one arm free and craning his neck, assessing his situation. Remus was laying on his stomach, his head hanging off the side of their bed. One of Remus’ arms was pinned between them, the other wedged between the mattress and the back of Janus’ knee.
If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call
Don't stop me now 'Cause I'm having a good time
Janus groaned again, rubbing Remus’ back. “Your alarm…” Remus grunted in response. Janus gave his shoulder a little squeeze, shaking gently, and tried again in his gravelly morning voice, “Muse… it’s your alarm….”
“Hmmm...“ Remus hummed and snaked his hand further under Janus’ leg, then stilled. ”’S okay... y’can snooze it….”
Janus chuckled again, “Sure about that?” Remus didn’t move. Freddie continued to sing the same six verses on a loop. “Don’t stop me now…” Janus was beginning to think of various cathartic ways to stop him right now. Most involved some combination of heavy cinder blocks or stomping on the phone wearing Remus’ Docs. “Remus…” Janus groaned again.
Remus muttered incoherently in response.
“Remus, you’re laying on top of me. You have to get up, love.” The alarm looped through again. “If you get up,” Janus tried a sing-song voice, “You can check the reviews for your book on Amazon…” Remus twitched, tightening his grip on Janus’ leg, but didn’t open his eyes.
Janus sighed, pouring as much annoyance into his voice as he could manage despite being slightly amused by his position. “Alright, then, if you won’t get up... I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands…”
Janus smirked, shifting the arm still pinned under Remus’ body. After a few seconds, Remus suddenly yelped, releasing his grip on Janus’ leg and rolling off his chest. “I’m up, I’m up, I’m up….”
Janus laughed low in his throat as Remus sat up, rolling his neck and stretching his arms before suddenly catapulting himself off the bed and onto the floor, knocking their blankets half-way off the bed as he moved. Janus yanked the covers back, pulling them up to his chin. “Remus! The blinds are open!”
Remus stood in front of the open window and waved broadly at the building across the street, the sunlight gleaming off his bare skin until he tugged on the cord of the blinds, letting them drop down, covering the window and the sunlight, along with their nakedness. Janus shook his head, fighting to calm the blush on his cheeks. He sat up, plumping the pillows between his back and the headboard and reached for the water glass on the wobbly nightstand. Remus padded over to his desk, snatched up his phone and stabbed at it for a several seconds, fighting through his anti-snooze alarm game to get the music to stop.
If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call
Don't stop me—
“Sorry, Freddie, but somebody had to stop you,” Remus giggled as he finally dismissed the alarm. Janus chuckled. Remus made the same joke every morning and somehow it made Janus smile every time. Remus looked up from the device, waggling his eyebrows at Janus before suddenly shouting, “Incoming!” taking a running leap at the bed. Janus quickly put down the water glass, a half-second before Remus landed on the bed next to him, the springs squeaking loudly in protest.
Planting a wet kiss on Janus’ check, Remus pulled back the covers and slid underneath, clambering over him, carefully sitting between his legs, back pressed against his chest. Pulling the covers up to their waists, Remus drew Janus’ arms around his middle and leaned back, resting his head in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. Holding his phone with one hand, Remus reached his other hand behind them, resting his arm on the top of the headboard and massaging the back of Janus’ neck with the pads of his fingers.
“Hmmm... Let’s see what the jury’s verdict is, shall we, Barrister?” Remus murmured, opening his storefront page to check the latest sales figures and reviews for his debut novel.
Janus tightened one arm around Remus, pointing at the screen with the other, “Mmm, that’s good feedback!” He hummed, kissing Remus’ temple.
Remus nodded, scrolling quickly through, narrowing his eyes and muttering as he scanned through the reviews. “Positive, positive, freak, positive, positive, bot, sexy bot… hmm, maybe I should come back to that one—” he squealed with laughter when Janus nipped at the side of his neck,”—kidding, kidding… unless?” He laughed again when Janus resumed the assault on his sensitive skin.
“Oh! That reminds me!” Remus suddenly cried, leaping off the bed, grabbing Janus’ hand and dragging him across the room toward his desk.
“Wait—” Janus cried out, reaching for the robe draped over the edge of the bed frame.
Remus shrugged, “The blinds are drawn, Jannie, and believe me,” he waggled his eyebrows, gaze dragging up and down his boyfriend’s body. “I appreciate the view…”
Blushing, Janus wrapped the robe around himself, “And I appreciate the sentiment but I would feel better wearing something.”
Remus grinned, threading both arms around Janus' waist, pulling him close. “Eh, my loss,” murmuring against his lips before slowly kissing him.
Not quite able to hide his smile, Janus draped his arms over Remus’ shoulders, kissing him back. Remus pulled back, eyes tracing Janus’ features, lingering on his lips before coming back up and gazing into his eyes. A soft smile spread across Remus’ face and he was suddenly still, just staring at Janus.
After a few moments, Janus brushed his fingers down the back of Remus’ neck, murmuring quietly, “Was there something you wanted to show me, Muse?”
“Right, yes—” He pecked Janus’ lips one more time before waving his arm toward the giant white poster board leaning against the wall above his desk. “I got a new story idea!”
Janus swallowed, staring at the board. “Wow,” he croaked, voice weak.
Remus’ storyboard spanned the full width of the large writing desk, covering the wall from the very edge of the desktop up as high as the 6’3” tall man could reach. The new storyboard was already littered with multi-colored notecards and sketches connected by bits of string studded with paperclips. Janus knew from the last storyboard that Remus used the paperclips to indicate causal relationships between beats in the story. It was nearly indecipherable to Janus.
At the center of the board was a large, detailed drawing of a corpse. It lay in a dark red pool, the edges carefully shaded and smudged, giving it the look of an oversaturated digital photo. It appeared that the corpse had been dismembered— or perhaps even fallen apart. The drawing included little scraps of cloth that looked like Remus had snipped from his own clothing. The drawing was compelling and horrifying and no matter how much the image turned Janus’ stomach, he struggled to look away.
“What happened to the old board?” Janus asked at last.
“Oh, yeah,” Remus waved his hand dismissively. “I burned it after I sent the final draft to my editor last night." Janus bit his lip, eyes wide, sniffing for smoke. "Don't worry, I cleaned the sink afterwards. And I didn't burn everything…” Remus yanked open his bottom desk drawer, taking out the empty chocolate box from the Valentine Janus gave him two years ago.
“You kept the box?” Janus’ voice was hushed.
Remus blinked up at him, eyebrows knit together, “Of course I did, Jannie.” He grinned. “It was our first..." he shimmied his shoulders, "Valentine’s Day.”
Janus leaned closer, carding his fingers through Remus’ wild mane and kissed his cheek. His body radiated a welcoming heat and Janus looped his arm around his waist, tucking his side against Remus’ and settling his head on his shoulder. Janus smiled, looking down at the box. “What's inside?”
“Keepsakes! Look...” As he opened the box, Janus’ eyes grew when he recognized both items from the storyboards for Remus’ first two books. In those stories, they were items the protagonist killers had left behind after they’d each disposed of their first victim’s bodies. The first was a tiny, red-stained stuffed doll with ‘x’s over the eyes and three pushpins in its head. The second, a battered, empty box of Crayola chalk with blood-red lettering scrawled illegibly across the front. The words had faded to a dusty, brownish-red and Janus wondered if Remus had actually used blood for the effect. It wouldn’t have been the only item on that particular storyboard that had been splattered in Remus’ own blood ‘for the tone.’
Janus sucked in a sharp breath and shuddered, feeling his lips curl in revulsion, but quickly schooled his features into a neutral expression before Remus could turn back to him.
“Oh, Baby, are you cold?” Janus nodded, only telling a half-lie. Remus stood behind him, wrapping both strong arms around his chest, pressing their bodies close together, letting his warmth seep through the thin material of Janus’ silk robe.
After a few minutes, Remus kissed the back of Janus' neck. "Better?" Janus hummed and Remus released him, picking up the box. He reverently pressed the lid back down, brushing away a speck of lint. Glancing quickly back at Janus, he tucked it away in his bottom desk drawer, closing it firmly. He bounced, tapping his fingers on his thighs before looking at the wall. “So, my new story…”
Remus waved his arm in front of the storyboard again. “I present to you,The Comedy of Horrors!” He grinned brightly, eyes on Janus.
Keeping his eyes on Remus’ face for as long as he could and away from the board, Janus tilted his head at his boyfriend, smiling. “I’m assuming the reference to Shakespeare is no accident?”
Nodding rapidly, “Yes! So my story, just like The Comedy of Errors, is also about these twins. The Comedy of Horrors is set in a modern world with magic and mages and spells..." Remus gesticulated wildly as he spoke. "One of the twins accidentally insults a mage... Maybe they were dating and it ended badly, maybe it's unrequited love turned to a jealous rage..." Remus shrugged, "Maybe he just ran over his cat...."
He waved his hands around again and Janus reacted quickly, catching a cup of paintbrushes Remus knocked over as he spoke. Remus didn't pause, apparently not noticing. "I dunno, haven't worked that bit out yet, but anyway the mage puts a curse on the guy, a curse that will make him slowly decompose, a little bit every day. The curse'll make his hair fall out, then his toenails, then his toes… or maybe then his teeth... “ Remus tapped at his own teeth and picked up a pencil, scrawling something on the storyboard.
He stepped back, looking at the board, then nodded. He tugged at Janus’ elbow, “See, he’ll end up with a big pile of toes at the end of the second act,” he pointed at a detailed, photo-realistic sketch of a pile of dismembered, rotting toes. Fixated on the board, Remus didn’t notice Janus’ grimace as he fought a wave of nausea.
“It’s gonna be great!” he said at last, turning to Janus, who quickly nodded. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Remus clapped his hands together, “The catch is that the mage targets the wrong twin!”
He pulled Janus’ hand toward the other half of the board, pointing to a sketch of a large McMansion-style house, four stories tall, with giant columns and flowering hedges in the front. It was completed in a different style, this time looking like a watercolor worthy of a museum. “The mage curses the guy’s twin brother and they have to team up to figure out what's going on and defeat the curse before he dies a horrible death,” Remus grinned brightly, eyes dancing as he pointed to the large drawing of the corpse in the center of the board.
Janus nodded, “So it’s another horror-murder mystery?”
Remus stared at Janus, a confused expression painting his face. “No, it’s a comedy, like the title." He wiggled his fingers together. "Hmm, maybe even a rom-com... ooo, yes! The guy's twin and the mage could end up falling in love..." He clapped his hands together again. "Classic enemies to lovers!" He danced around, making more notes on cards and pinning them up on the board. "There’s gonna be all this slapstick and puns… I’m gonna see if I can get my brother to do some illustrations, too. Mine aren’t nearly as good as his.”
Janus shook his head, rubbing Remus’ back and kissing his shoulder. “Muse, don’t sell yourself short. These illustrations are remarkable.” He watched as Remus’ face bloomed with a new idea and he started rooting through his art supplies. “How long have you been working on this, anyway?”
Already leaning over the desk, holding three different colored art pencils in one hand, Remus was adding to the board, chewing his lip as he drew. “Uhhh, I started last night.”
It was Janus’ turn to look confused. “But we went to bed at the same time... When did you…?”
Finishing an outline of the new sketch, Remus looked down at his feet, flexing his toes against the carpet. “I… I couldn’t sleep last night.” He glanced at his desk drawer again. "Too excited." Dropping the pencils and facing him again, Remus brushed a lock of Janus’ hair from his face. “So, after you drifted off, I started working on this.” He gestured at the board. “I got this far and then got kinda tired, so I emailed my publisher a spec and went to bed. The sun was just barely up when I conked out, so I still got plenty of sleep.”
Remus’ phone pinged a few times and he picked it up, checking his notifications. “Oh, sweet! She liked it!” He held his phone out for Janus to read. Janus accepted the phone, scrolling through the email and opening the attachment.
“She’s sent you a contract for a third and fourth book.” He looked up at Remus, “I thought you only sent her one other spec.”
Remus shrugged, “Yeah, I guess she liked it.” He reached for his phone. “Here, let me sign it and—”
“Wait! You can’t just sign a contract like that! You have to at least read it. You can probably negotiate better terms, too. She might be trying to lock you in as a new writer. But you saw all those reviews... by the time these books would be out, you'll probably have a real following.” Janus held the phone behind his back, kissing Remus. “Let me look it over this afternoon. There's no rush—they’ll expect you to want to have your lawyer review it.”
“But I don’t have a lawyer, Jannie!” Remus pouted, reaching for the phone. Janus tilted his head, staring pointedly at Remus. “Oh… but I know a lawyer… you know,” he winked, swiveling his hips, “Biblically and all.”
Rolling his eyes, he smiled and then blushed when Remus caught his gaze trailing downward. Janus returned his phone with a sharp look. “Swear to me you won’t ever sign another contract without letting me look it over first?”
“I swear,” Remus put on his Very Serious Face to match Janus’ tone. Janus couldn’t maintain his scowl for long, though, and he cupped Remus’ face in both hands, staring into his eyes and grinning.
“I’m so proud of you, Muse… We should celebrate.”
Remus grabbed his hips, closing the distance between them. “Oh really…?” he growled. Janus laughed, opening his mouth to respond when Remus’ phone chirped out part of a nursery-rhyme, a personalized notification tone Janus hadn’t heard before. “Ugh, hold that thought, Hot Stuff,” Remus interrupted, checking his phone one more time.
“Yes!” he whispered. Remus looked up at Janus, a wild grin lighting up his face. “Ro’s coming over this afternoon! You’ll finally get to meet my brother!” Remus spun around in a little dance, fighting to keep his eyes away from his bottom desk drawer and the tiny ring box hidden there. He's gotta meet Ro first.
Janus winced, glancing at the clock across the room. “Um, Remus, it’s after 12 already… What time is he getting here?”
Remus stopped dancing and scrolled through his message history, “Uhh… 1:30.”
Janus’ eyes grew wide, “I’m… going to need some coffee.” He reached out, drawing his hand again through Remus’ hair. Remus practically purred, leaning into his hand. “And we both need a shower.” Remus shimmied his shoulders and Janus was quick to add, “A fast shower.”
Laughing, Remus tossed his phone on their bed and grasped both of Janus’ hands, pulling him toward the bathroom, swaying to the music in his head. “I can be fast.”
Sighing, but not pulling away, Janus murmured, “Please don’t make us late to meet him. I don’t want your brother to hate me.”
“Oh, Baby, you’ve got nothing to worry about… You’re dashing...” Remus raised Janus’ right hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss against his knuckles. “...And brilliant…” he gently kissed Janus’ other hand. “...And amazing and you wow the fucking pants off everyone you meet.” He pulled Janus closer, peppering kisses across his blushing face and down his neck as he walked backwards. “And Ro's cool, too... Oh, I can't wait for you to meet him! You’re gonna love him!” ---
taglist: @dukeceitweek @psychedelicships @demon9980 @the-dead-and-the-decaying
