#input: query (asks)

[mechanicalamalgam]

Dilf is an acronym. It means dad I would fuck.

Aka a hot old guy. Which is you apparently

He mouths the words to himself, before stammering rather unintelligently for a moment.

He manages, "I, uh–", trying to find some sort of response, before saying, "W-Well, I...I got...folks. Already." Did he, though? "I'm fl– I'm flattered (I think) but...'S rather an unorthodox thing to say to someone you barely know."

He chuckles awkwardly.

"'Sides that, I'm out a' sorts enough, I reckon folk would find better luck elsewhere, even if I were interested. ...Y'all're...Y'all are somethin' else."

[mechanicalamalgam]

Computa. please let this DILF have a body for at least 3 full minutes so anons can tell him how hot he is.

RSPN:\> PROCESSING REQUEST

...

...

YEAH, ALRIGHT

Out pops a Fred. Poor guy once again looks like he's just been woken up from a HELLA nap.

"Can you stop doing that??" he whines to the machine, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "What happened to giving advance notice?? ...A-And wha– What..."

He hesitates. He does not know if he wants an answer to this.

"...What is a DILF??"

[mechanicalamalgam]

nom?

RSPN:\User███████> SPEAK

RSPN:\User███████> Please don't.

[mechanicalamalgam]

Do you see anybody come through respawn who may see u?

RSPN:\User███████> SPEAK

RSPN:\User███████> EMOTION:LONGING

RSPN:\User███████> No. The machine keeps me hidden.

I think she worries someone could help.

[mechanicalamalgam]

Eats the cheese off ur torminal

If Fred had a body right now, I genuinely think this, combined with the fact that he's always having a somewhat shit day, would send him into a meltdown.

Ask me how I know.

[mechanicalamalgam]

*slaps a slice of cheese on the terminal

The terminal sparks and crackles. The print command appears on the screen – albeit with a few misprints – followed by our dear engineer's opinion.

RSPN:\User███████> NONO NO NO EWEWEWEWEW NO GETI T O FF

Translation: I am an autistic man and this just VIOLENTLY offended my senses. Sidenote, did you remember Fred can feel things through the terminal?

[mechanicalamalgam]

why not?

RSPN:\User███████> Unsanitary. >:(

[mechanicalamalgam]

if it helps any I can't belt you with slices of cheese like I do to the others

RSPN:\User███████> SPEAK

RSPN:\User███████> ???

Why

Why would you do that??